dog with a blog @sunsetforestzone - Tumblr Blog

also it's not like i plan on coming back to tumblr because i genuinely almost killed myself several times while i was here, this place made me hate myself to insane degrees and life got better when i left this weird echo chamber, but i just have to address it because the other post that blew up while i was gone was deltaruned:

i do quite love tv

#im more active on twitter now #ap0lovalentine on twt if anyone wants to keep up with me #im logging back off tomorrow probably ! just wanted to give an update #goodbye

it's 4am rn and im tired but i just wanna address, like, every single person who didn't get a chance to know me as i am now, and had to know an apollo that hated himself and made it everyone's problem, including the people that loved him the most

fuck, im sorry. i genuinely fucked up a lot of good shit in the past and it is all almost 100% on me.

i hurt people that loved me and drove them to cutting contact with me, i hurt people that loved me and still wanted to stay in touch with me and drove them away completely. i hurt random strangers online because of all the chronically online hateful incel shit i posted when i was actively on here

man i sucked as a person and i don't know if i stopped sucking or if i just started roleplaying as a good person or what, but i feel like things have gotten a lot better

for one i don't want to die every single day anymore, for two i don't think im unlovable anymore, and for three it seems like i'm a better person than i used to be

i guess it was because of a lot of little changes, hrt, cutting my time online, talking to real people in real life, working more on my art and selling my art, being less of a hermit on the internet and finding my people on other platforms, accepting love from others instead of actively trying to make them change their mind about me, etc

one kinda roleplays as a good person until it works. i guess i apologize a lot more sincerely nowadays instead of begging for forgiveness like i used to do every time i fucked up. i guess i also make a greater effort now, i guess i also swallow my shame and pride and try to connect with as many people as possible. seriously, i've made friends at the fucking bus because they pointed out my tenna itabag and i just HAD to get their instagram

i guess i'm just sad about everyone who had to know the little asshole i used to be and not the apollo i am now. i still have a long way to go and i don't feel like im perfect but i've gotten better, i wish i could apologize to everyone one by one but i just have to say a general "i'm sorry" and hope you can all apply it to whatever you feel fits, whether it's big or small or whether you forgive me or not, i just want to say i genuinely am sorry.

sunsetforestzone

Haiiii Apollo idk if you're going to see this before logging off for good (based based based based) but I'm really really glad to know you're doing well!! I don't have Twitter (rip) but I still wanted to say hello!! I'm so happy for you and I wish you a very things getting better and better forever!!! Ily and I hope we cross paths again someday💚 - Erin soniclibrary

hi erin im just letting you know i plan to continue the silver metal virus fic you used to help me with. and to everyone in the sonic library i miss all of you every single day im sorry i can't ever come back because it would mean backtracking steps in my life that lead me to be happier but just know that i hold all of you close to my heart forever

sunsetforestzone

this has been one of the toughest years of my life, i was scared of not even making it to this point to be able to proudly say that i'm doing better, so much better, that i'm happier now more than ever, that hrt is genuinely magic, that my passion for a stupid videogame tv man brought color back into my life, and that despite missing all the friends i left behind in the process, i feel at peace knowing they'll continue to be wonderful without me.

i wonder if anyone in the sonic library is going to see this. if so, i wanna say that i do miss all of you. but i also know why i left, it wasn't because of you guys, it's complicated to explain, but i know i couldn't have ever moved forward in my life spent almost entirely in isolation if i hadn't made the decision to leave and go reach for a bigger sky

my only regret is that i never said a proper goodbye. i apologize for that, like i said this has been the toughest year of my life and im trying to be nicer to my past self because he was an idiot who for the most part just hurt the people around him and himself in the process.

i genuinely hope you're all still as wonderful as you used to be, i hope i'm still in your mind, at least sometimes, and i hope you can all forgive me for wanting to move forward.

Haiiii Apollo idk if you're going to see this before logging off for good (based based based based) but I'm really really glad to know you're doing well!! I don't have Twitter (rip) but I still wanted to say hello!! I'm so happy for you and I wish you a very things getting better and better forever!!! Ily and I hope we cross paths again someday💚 - Erin soniclibrary

hi erin im just letting you know i plan to continue the silver metal virus fic you used to help me with. and to everyone in the sonic library i miss all of you every single day im sorry i can't ever come back because it would mean backtracking steps in my life that lead me to be happier but just know that i hold all of you close to my heart forever

sunsetforestzone

hi. hello. message for the girls who talk about wanting to be friends with guys the way guys are friends with guys, girls who see mlm relationships and wish they could have a relationship like that, lesbian girls who want to date other girls but in a "masc" way, girls who want to be like their favorite male characters, girls who "wish they could be fem the way men are fem", etc:

hi. its okay to be a man. its okay to be a boy and to want to be a boy and to love being masculine and a man and a guy. you dont have to be a trans man to be transmasculine (butchness is a beautiful thing), or even masculine in general, but it is okay to be a man. im sorry if people online or even in your real life have made you feel ashamed about it, i'm sorry that people have framed masculinity as undesirable, i'm sorry rad "feminists" told you that being a man is something awful. masculinity isn't inherently toxic, masculinity can mean whatever you connect with.

but most of all if nobody has told you this yet if you want to be a boy you can just be a boy. im dead serious. its genuinely objectively okay to be a man. ily. take care

sunsetforestzone

geez i haven't used this website in months. truth be told i logged off and planned to never log back on here because of how much this place was making me hate myself for being a trans man! it is currently 3am and i logged back on out of curiosity and i was pleasantly surprised to see this resonated with so many people and boys-to-be seem to be having awakenings because of this

little life update: im 5 months on T now, and much, much happier than i was when i was actively posting on here. so yeah. probably never gonna come back but im glad this resonated

keepongaming

last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere

i wasn’t joking

gendersnaps

this post has haunted me for like 3 years. every time i start to think i imagined it, it shows up on my dash again and then immediately disappears into the ether for another 17 months

#scheduled this 17 months from now

view-from-up-here

bunhed

queue this post when it’s your birthday and be surprise

why did people start following me as soon as i stopped posting. go away im quitting this app

No crecí religiosamente.

hoy subi algo para pascua

christ im glad i got an app to lock my access to this app i cant keep opening it to the kinds of posts i just reblogged, they keep making me think that the rest of the trans community just hates me for not being trans like them. guys. get off this discourse

im doing a robert pattinson binge for no reason and Man im so excited for this one