Summary: Having been missing for two hours, the reader calls her worried fiance. She recounts a seemingly harmless, yet terrifying and revealing, interaction with a mysterious man in a purple suit.
Notes: I really wanted to write something with Kilgrave because he absolutely terrifies me. With this, I wanted to do something that was a little more subtly terrifying, so I hope I accomplished that. Hope you enjoy!
Warnings: Manipulation, panic attacks, anxiety, and intense fear
More Matt and Other Marvel: HERE
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You could taste the coffee as it came back up your throat. You threw up until your stomach felt empty and continued retching, feeling your body shaking violently. His voice was in your head. His hand was on your arm. Even your lips were still sore from smiling. When you finally stopped, you fell back against the bathroom door, trying not to hyperventilate.
Your phone buzzed and you were finally allowed to look at it. 20 missed calls from your fiance. 14 texts from Karen and Foggy. You were supposed to be back at work two hours ago and hadn’t been allowed to contact them. How do you explain that, at the time, they hadn’t even crossed your mind?
The harsh lights of the bathroom reflected a mosaic on the wall beside you. You stared at your engagement ring, moving your hand from side to side, altering the light’s pattern. It felt strange to have it on now even though you’d only taken it off for a few hours. It was like it didn’t belong to you anymore.
The idea of walking back through the cafe made your empty stomach lurch, so you found a back door that led into an alley. The air smelled like trash and rot, but at least you could finally breathe. You took a few deep breaths to try and calm yourself before selecting your fiance’s number and hitting ‘call’.
It barely even had the chance to ring.
“Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?” Matt’s panicked voice sent a pang of guilt through your heart.
“Matt-” You squeaked, barely even able to get out one word. You covered your mouth to try and hide your sobs. He heard them anyway. His tone softened and he repeated his question.
“Where are you?”
“I don’t- I don’t know.” You stepped close enough to the street to see the sign. “11th Avenue. Some kind of cafe on 11th.”
“I’ve got her,” he said. There was movement on the other end and you could just hear Foggy ask what was going on. Matt didn’t answer but kept talking to you. “Okay, I want you to stay on until we get there-”
A flash of purple made you jump back into the alley, dropping your phone to the hard cement. The screen shattered and Matt’s voice was silenced.
-
Karen barely pulled up to the curb before Matt jumped out of the car. The sidewalk bustled with people, but only one heartbeat mattered to him. He followed the light scent of your perfume and listened to the sound of your frightened breathing.
You had your back pressed against the wall of the cafe, eyes scanning the people passing by. Anytime you saw that color, your heart stopped. A purple purse. A jacket. Sneakers. His voice was in your ear, repeating those two words over and over again.
Someone stopped at the other end of the alley, followed by two others.
“Matt,” You breathed. He ran down the alley, meeting you in the middle and taking you in his arms. You clung to him. He could feel how much you were shaking.
“Are you hurt?” He pushed back gently, his hands checking your face and torso for injuries.
“No. I’m okay. I just-” Your breathing hitched when his hands grazed your ring. “I want to go home.”
He had so many more questions but he didn’t ask them. He’d never heard fear in your voice like this.
The drive back was done in tense silence. Both Karen and Foggy watched you with worried expressions. You were pressed against Matt in the back seat, his arms protectively wrapped around you. It wasn’t until Karen pulled up to you and Matt’s apartment building that the situation fully set in.
How the hell were you going to explain this?
Karen turned around, giving you a sympathetic look. “Do you want us to come with you?”
You fervently shook your head, feeling shame starting to burn your face. Matt helped you out of the car.
“I’m going to stay here. Maybe you guys should head back and get some work done.” He said. His small smile thanked them for their help. “I’ll call you later to check-in.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Karen asked. “We could pick up some food or something.”
“N-no.” You said. If Matt hadn’t been holding your hand, you would have bolted for the building.
“Feel better Y/N.” Foggy gave you a kind smile and waved as Karen drove away. The car disappeared in traffic, but just before, you caught a glimpse of purple in the rearview mirror. You froze, eyes darting around the countless numbers of cars and people, expecting to see him standing there. His dark eyes and his cruel smile burned into your brain. The things he could make you do.
The things he could make Matt do.
You tore your hand away from Matt’s and hurried inside, practically sprinting up the stairs to the apartment. Matt’s calls after you were blocked out by your heart pounding in your ears. “Don’t forget to smile.”
You stood in front of the apartment door with shaking hands digging through your purse for your key. Your fingers held onto the metal but trembled so much that it slipped out of your grasp.
“Damnit.” You wheezed. Your chest felt tighter and tighter and your vision blurred with tears. You started to reach for the key on the ground, but a hand touched your shoulder. You spun around.
“It’s okay. I’ve got it.” Matt’s voice tried to soothe you. He unlocked the door with his key and you stumbled inside. “Y/N wait.” You wanted him to hold you, but the panic attack had already set in.
“I can’t-” You gasped. “I can’t breathe. He’s in my head, Matt. What if none of it happened? What if I’m just going crazy. I mean, nobody can do what he did, right? God, I can’t breathe.”
Truth be told, you wanted a fucking drink.
“Here.” He led you to sit down on the couch and knelt in front of you. He took your hands in his, gently rubbing his thumbs against your skin as you tried to calm down. “I’m right here.”
He listened to your terrified, gasping breaths and rapid heartbeat and imagined the worst. While he hadn’t sensed any injuries, it was clear you’d been attacked. And he didn’t stop it.
“I-I don’t know how he did it.” You whispered, more to yourself than to him. “He just said things and I would do it. He made me tell him things. Things I haven’t told anyone. Not even you. And he made me want to tell him.”
“What are you talking about?” Matt asked softly. He took off his glasses so you could see his face. You looked at him through your tears.
You gulped. “He said his name was Kilgrave.”
-
As if the morning hadn’t been hectic enough. The client you were supposed to be meeting went to a different firm, your usual cafe was closed for renovations, and Matt needed you back at the office as soon as possible to go over yet another set of client files. That’s why you were in such a hurry. That’s why you weren’t watching where you were going.
You collided with a man in an expensive suit. It was the color that you noticed first. Purple.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”
“Don’t apologize.” He said.
Your words stopped as if you’d never planned to say them. His eyes trailed over you, landing on your eyes. He looked into your face for a long while before the corner of his lips tugged up just slightly.
“Come with me.”
Your feet followed him inside without hesitation. He scanned the room, picked a table, and told the couple sitting there to move. They did. A small, quiet voice in your head told you this was wrong. You didn’t want to be here. You wanted to get back to Matt. But when he told you to cut the line and order, you did. When he told you to sit, you did. He told you to smile. You did.
“So,” He took a sip of his coffee and, thankfully, seemed satisfied with it, “tell me, who are you?”
“Y/F/N Y/L/N. I’m a paralegal for-”
“Ugh, stop.” He scoffed. You clamped your mouth shut. “So boring. Let me guess, you're engaged to your boss too?” He motioned to the ring on your finger. You just nodded. “Nothing exciting there, but there must be something. Take it off.”
You slid the ring off your finger and set it on the table. You stared at the smooth silver band and glittering diamond. Matt had been so nervous. He had no idea what you’d like, but he said that when he picked it up, he knew it was the right one. And you took it off like it was nothing.
The man continued. “You remind me of someone I’m looking for. Somewhere under that pretty face, something is eating at you. I saw it the minute I looked at you. You’re haunted.” The excitement in the last word made you shutter.
Your blood ran cold. The voice in your head was a little louder now, telling you to scream for help, but your mouth stayed shut. He picked up your ring and made a face. Maybe it wasn’t extravagant enough for him.
“So, what is it?” He asked, still looking at the ring. “Does the future hubby have a drinking problem? The stress of the job gets to him. Maybe he smacks you around a bit?” He stared at you, waiting for an answer. Your mouth wouldn’t open. He rolled his eyes. “Speak.”
“Matt would never hurt me.” You blurted. “He’s kind and good a-and better than I could ever be.” Your voice cracked, piquing his interest even more. He leaned across the table with a smirk.
“So you’re the one with the problem. The deep, dark secret.” He put the ring back down but kept it closer to him- like he was keeping your only lifeline just out of reach. “I bet dear Matt doesn’t even know, does he?”
You swallowed hard and shook your head.
He stared at you with an almost morbid anticipation. “Tell me.”
And you did. Every word made you want to vomit. Your tears flowed freely until he told you to stop crying. Just like that, your tears stopped and you kept speaking. You told him every grim detail, from the blood that seeped into your dreams every night to the alcohol you’d used as a crutch. It was like you were reliving everything again.
The further into your story, the wider his grin grew.
“And I’ve never told anyone about it.” You exhaled. “Until now.”
He laughed as if you’d told a sick joke. “Well, I guess you aren’t just a pretty face, are you, Y/N? I never would have guessed! I do enjoy surprises. As you can imagine, it doesn’t happen very often for me.” He beamed.
“Who are you?” You asked, horrified.
“The name is Kilgrave, darling.” He finished his drink and stood. “You know, I was going to make you jump into traffic as a little breadcrumb for Jessica, but your story has moved me, Y/N. I’d hate to waste all of the guilt and loathing built up inside of you. I will leave you with one little thing.” He leaned so his face was next to yours. His breath burned. “Be afraid, Y/N.”
He kissed your cheek and walked out of the cafe. His purple suit disappeared and the terror set in.
-
By the time you were finished, your tears had dried, replaced by the numbness in your head. Matt sat still, fists clenched in his lap and head tilted to listen tentatively to every word. You broke away from him and went to the kitchen for a drink. You didn’t even bother with a glass. Your increased drinking hadn’t gone unnoticed by Matt as his mind began to put together the pieces.
“It’s so stupid. He didn’t hurt me. Hell, he barely even touched me. I just feel so… violated, I guess. The bastard was in my head.” You took a swig. “And now he’s out there making people do God knows what.” You took another. “If he could do all of that- if he can make me say those things, then I don’t even want to think about what else he might be planning.”
“Somebody has to stop him.” Matt stood, shoulders squared and tone threatening.
“You can’t.” You drank again, this time focusing on the burn in your throat to replace the numb terror. “Think about it, Matt, he said he could make me jump in front of a car. What do you think he’d do if he got in your head? The things he would make you do. You can’t go after him. You can’t-” Your lip began to tremble and you tried to hide it with the lip of the bottle.
Matt’s expression softened and he made his way over to you. You put one hand on his chest, keeping the other on the liquor.
“Promise me you won’t look for him.”
He put a hand on top of yours. “I promise.” You started to lift the bottle again, but he put his other hand on yours, gently taking it away from you and setting it on the counter. “Y/N, what happened?”
“What?”
“Whatever you told him. The reason you’ve been distant and drinking. The reason you’ve been having those nightmares.” His fingers laced with yours. “Whatever is haunting you, like he said.”
“Matt, I-”
“If you still don’t want to tell me, I won’t force you.” He said softly. “But I’m worried. We both know what keeping secrets can do.” His fingers grazed your ring. He was right. Before he told you about his secret double life, the deception and secrecy nearly ended your relationship.
You lowered your voice to a scared whisper. “I don’t know if you’ll still love me if I tell you.”
“Y/N,” He put a hand on your cheek with almost a look of hurt, “Sweetheart, of course, I’ll still love you.”
“You don’t know.” You sighed and tried to push away. He kept his hands on your arms.
“Then just tell me.” He pleaded, pressing his forehead against yours. You took a deep, trembling breath. It was time.
“Before we took down Fisk, one of his men found me. He took me to some kind of warehouse and he wanted me to work with them. To spread the message of Wilson Fisk’s heroism.” You wanted to reach for the liquor, but you knew it wouldn’t help. You had to tell him. “I told him no and he put a gun on the table. He told me he had no intention of killing me. That he’d come after everyone I loved first. That he’d kill you. So I grabbed the gun.” You could still remember the weight of it in your hands. “He said it wasn’t loaded, but I pulled the trigger anyway. I pulled it again and again until I’d filled his body with bullets and I knew he wouldn’t be able to touch you.”
You felt breathless and yet the weight you’d felt crushing your chest the past few weeks felt mildly lighter. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.
“You killed him.”
A sob caught in your throat, making a choking sound. You nodded weakly.
“I wanted to tell you. After everything was finished, I almost did. But I didn’t know how. And then this man got into my head and forced me to say the words. I killed someone. I killed James Wesley.” You looked down at your ring before lifting your hand up to Matt’s cheek. “And if it meant protecting you, then I would do it again.”
You waited for him to scream. To look at you with disgust and walk away. But he didn’t. Instead, he pulled you into his strong, protective arms and held you while you fell apart. Kilgrave’s voice mixed with Westley’s until you couldn’t tell them apart. They taunted you. Wesley’s blood-filled mouth grinned and with Kilgrave’s voice, told you to smile.
“Be afraid.” You whispered. “He told me to be afraid. What if he comes back? What if he comes after you next and-and-”
“Shh,” Matt soothed, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “He won’t get to you again. I don’t care what I have to do, but he’ll never get in your head again.” He pulled away, taking your face in his hands. “As for Wesley, we’ll face it together.” He helped up your left hand and lightly kissed your engagement ring before kissing your lips. “For better or worse, right?”
You threw your arms around him and let your worries ease in his embrace. While the fear didn’t fully subside until later that day, when Kilgrave’s power no longer influenced you, Matt never let you be alone. Eventually, Kilgrave’s voice left your head, leaving only the image of a purple suit fading into a crowd.
-
General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination; @mylovegoesto; @yellowbadgergirl; @itmejado; @suckmyapplejacks; @kendahl0216
You have fucking killed again omg you write Matt so well! False God is my new obsession and I’m not even mad about it! Thank you for being so amazing!
False God | m.m. | 3
Matt Murdock x Avenger!reader
Word Count: 3.2k
Warnings: Language. Mentions of suicide. Explanations of torture and murder. Blood. Mentions of Matt sitting like a whore (he does??)
Author’s Note: Just because this was so sweet, here’s part three. It was a fucking RIDE.
Series Masterlist | Request here
“I really need to leave,” Matt insisted, running his hands over his face in frustration.
“You can barely walk,” she reminded him, walking into the living room with two cups of coffee. She set hers down, then held out the cup to him. Testing him.
“I can hear your movements,” he answered her unspoken question as he took the cup from her.
Her eyes narrowed some, watching him as she sat down. He set the cup down on the table and leaned back into the arm of the couch, closing his eyes. He was in Sam’s hoodie —one of few that she had stolen and just not given back —and sweatpants, legs spread like he owned the place.
“You sit like a whore,” she commented, instead of responding to his explanation.
Matt immediately closed his legs and frowned. She couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden self-consciousness. This wasn’t the time to be playing around, but she didn’t want to ruin what normalcy Matt once had. He was so normal compared to everything in her life and suddenly he just. Wasn’t. But this was a serious moment. He was a vigilante who killed people. She shouldn’t be laughing and joking with him. Shouldn’t be admiring that, yeah, he sat like a whore but it was kind of hot.
“If you can hear my movements, what else can you do?” She asked finally, taking her cup back into her hands. Her legs crossed under her as she waited.
Matt took a breath, considering how to respond. As if he’s never had to explain to people why he could do the things he did. “I lost my sight as a kid, in an accident. I can’t see, truly,” he started, sitting up now to face her. She rested the cup in her hands in her lap, watching him. “But with the loss of my sight…everything else heightened. And not just a little; everything was turned up to an eleven. I…could hear everything. Smell everything. It’s…it’s complicated.” He let out a heavy breath, shaking his head. “I can remember what things were like before I lost my sight; and using that knowledge with how heightened everything is…it’s like I can see it but it’s a terrible painting. Impressionist like and it’s on fire constantly —“
“You expect me to believe that?” She countered, frowning deeply. “You expect me to believe any of this?”
Steve had sharpened senses; and Thor’s had been better than humans just because he was from Asgard. She shouldn’t have such a hard time believing him. But Matt Murdock…he was a normal man. He was human. He didn’t have a healing factor, he wasn’t a super soldier. He was just…he was just a lawyer. He wasn’t like her, or Natasha or Steve. He didn’t have a suit like Spider-Man or Tony. Matt was doing this with his bare hands and a mask.
And that was what she had such a hard time believing. A regular man was out there, beating the shit out of criminals in Hell’s Kitchen.
“You said you can read my mind,” he pointed out, though his tone was reluctant. Like he really didn’t want her to do it. “If that’s…the only way you’ll believe me…then do it.”
The silence between them lingered as she considered poking into his mind. It was just a switch she could turn on and off. Something that she only used when absolutely necessary for missions. And it wasn’t even the coolest thing about her abilities. But he very clearly didn’t want her to; and she knew that once she was in, there was a chance that she’d see too much. See more than what he wanted her to see.
“Say I do believe you,” she started, processing her thoughts as she spoke. “And you really do just…have superhuman senses. I just need to know why you’re doing this.” She motioned over him, where the blood and bruises were cleaned up but still visible. Where blood was still smeared on her couch from when he first came in. “Why risk your life when you’re not a superhuman, with healing abilities or more than a man with a pair of fists?”
“I can feel everything,” he repeated, voice quiet. “Hear everything. Every little vibration, every breath. I could hear your heart racing when we walked home today —but I can hear a man outside, right now, finding that body. And now he’s dialing 911.” There was a pause, and she watched him like he was lying. “He’s still, alive by the way. He landed on a pile of trash, it broke his fall. Breathing, sort of. I don’t…I don’t kill people. Not intentionally, at least.” She frowned deeply, about to object that there’s no way for him to know that but Matt continued. “The police response time varies but it’s a severely injured person, so give them five minutes and I’ll be able to hear them three blocks away.” She glanced out the window, breath hitching some as she considered the possible consequences of tonight. The thought alarmed her; she wasn’t doing anything wrong but... “I heard that. Your breath, the panic you’re feeling. I can hear your heart right now.”
She looked back at him, brow furrowing as she realized that he had to be telling the truth. “That doesn’t explain why, though.”
“The same reason I became a lawyer,” he finally admitted. “To help the people who really need it. The police, the judiciary process…they’re doing it. Not right, anyway. So I have to.”
“You almost died tonight,” she pointed out, adjusting to set her coffee mug down. “Is that really worth all of this?”
He just shrugged in response, then suddenly perked up. “The police will be here soon; they’re planning on going door to door. Agent Woo is coming up now as well,” he explained, slowly standing up. “I need to go —“
“No, Jimmy isn’t here I thought? And you can’t just leave now. That’ll be so sketchy.”
There was a knock on her door then. “Miss, I need you to open up. It’s Woo.”
She looked back at Matt, frowning deeply. “I don’t like that you knew that.” Matt shrugged as she stood and motioned for him to sit down. He hesitated but followed her order as she considered how to make this seem less suspicious. “Unzip your hoodie. And sit like a whore again.”
“What?”
“Trust me. He gets uncomfortable super easily.”
She pulled her T-shirt off, exposing the sports bra she wore, then pulled her hair down. Matt followed her orders with ease, spreading his legs out in front of him. She stared for a moment, caught off guard by how well built he was. Of course he was. He was a vigilante. But how was this even fair? Charming, funny, and properly hot? Maybe God was real.
“You can stare later, just open the door.”
“Fuck you,” she snapped at him as she finally opened the door. “What do you want?” She demanded.
Jimmy looked down almost immediately, turning red. “Why are you shirtless —it doesn’t matter. There’s an unconscious man outside the building and the police are on their way.” Jimmy pushed himself through her door, making his way inside.
“If you’re here to blame me, I swear to god, Jimmy. I thought we were friends.”
“Well, were you involved?” He asked, brow raised. “And we aren’t.”
“Rude,” she commented, crossing her arms over her chest. Then she nodded towards the living room. “If you looked to your left, you’d realize the answer to both your questions.”
Jimmy frowned and looked over, finally noticing that Matt was sitting there. The agent stuttered, shaking his head as he backed up towards the door. “Oh god, I’m sorry. I didn’t think you had company —Jesus, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine. If you don’t need a superhero, please get out so we can continue our evening,” she shooed him out the door, giving him a smirk as she started shutting the door on him.
“Nope. We’re good. I’m good. Thanks,” he hurried out the door, calling out that she was cleared.
Once he was gone and the door was shut, she picked her shirt up and pulled it back on. Her hair tie disappeared somewhere in the house and she didn’t bother to look for it, returning to her seat on the couch. Matt had sat up properly again, still self-conscious of her whore comparison probably.
“How did you know he wouldn’t look too closely?” He asked, brow raised.
“Every time I need to go to the store, I tell him it’s because I’m on my period and then explain how my cycle works. He hates it,” she explained, grinning smugly from how easily she manipulated the agent. “Old trick I learned from Natasha.”
“You’re a terrible person,” he laughed.
“Rich coming from the lawyer who not only lied to my agent not once, but twice —and goes around beating the life out of people.”
“We can make one of those lies a truth,” he countered, grinning at her now. “I could feel you staring at me, you know. I don’t need heightened senses to know that.”
She scoffed, though she was thankful for the flirty comments returning. “As tempting as that is,” and it very much was, “You have three broken ribs and several open wounds. Not only do I not want blood on my sheets, but I’d feel bad if I hurt you any further.”
He nodded some, agreeing with her after considering how fucked up he was from tonight. “I suppose that’s fair.”
“And we hardly know each other,” she continued, though now she was just trying to fill the empty space with anything but the thought of her taking advantage of his legs spread. Or the thought of him shirtless, sitting on her couch, tempting her to make a move.
“I told you about me,” he pointed out, leaning back into the couch to relief the pressure on his wounds. “You can read minds. What happened there?”
“Actually, you know, I can get new sheets —“
He laughed again, full and sincere, and shook his head. “Nope. Come on, you forced me to tell you who I was.”
She groaned and fell back into the couch, feigning a tantrum as Matt continued to laugh at her. “It’s just. It’s so fucking complicated,” she admitted. “I have to lay on the ground if I’m going to explain this to you.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I get overwhelmed when I talk about it and the ground is cold and solid and it keeps me from panicking.”
It was strange, admitting to him what took her therapist weeks to get out of her.
“Do you lay on the floor when you talk to your therapist?” He asked as she got up and sat on the hardwood of the apartment. He hesitated and followed suit, sitting beside her.
“You don’t have to sit on the floor —“
“I want to.”
She watched him for a moment then laid on her back, looking up at the ceiling. “Sometimes I do. Only when they have us talk about what happened to me.” He nodded some, slowly laying down beside her.
Knowing what he could do now, she was suddenly self aware that her heart was pounding in her chest and he could hear it. That he could tell that she didn’t actually want to tell him about herself; that the thought of it alone stressed her out. But she took a deep breath, calming herself down.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he murmured, but she shook her head.
“No, give me a second,” she whispered back, closing her eyes to gather herself. “So uh, I was pretty normal for a while. No powers, nothing cool to note about me. Divorced parents, only child. You know. Normal,” she started to explain, fiddling with her fingers as she spoke. “It was right after my tenth birthday, my dad showed up one night to take me over for his custody time. And then he just…he kept me. I was too young to understand that what he was doing was kidnapping me, but I figured it out when he took me to this lab.
“My dad had started working for this guy —Loxias Crown, he’s a HYDRA scientist —who was trying recreate the super soldier serum,” she raised her hand to look it over, frowning some. It was shaking, and she knew that the longer she spoke, the more likely she was to have a panic attack. “I don’t know why HYDRA was so obsessed with that stupid serum. But Crown needed human test subjects because he kept killing them. I don’t know why my dad decided to use me. Maybe it was a debt, maybe it was to get back at my mom. Regardless, the moment Crown saw that I had telepathic abilities, he killed my dad. It was the first time I saw someone die.
“It was years of experiments and needles and IVs, until I was sixteen. It was then that Natasha had infiltrated the warehouse I was being kept in and SHIELD saved me. Turns out I wasn’t the only person there.”
She took a deep breath, hands shaking as she covered her face. Matt reached over, taking one of her hands in his and holding it against his chest. Her heart pounded in her ears, feeling ready to pop. Honestly she wished it was because he was holding her hand. Wished so bad it was from being nervous that he was touching her. But the panic came from thinking about her dad, about his body.
“It somehow only got worse though,” she continued, voice shaking as she did. “I went home —back to my mom. Only to find out that…she had killed herself. She lost her only child, with no trace. She just couldn’t keep going. And so I had a house full of memories of a ten year old but I was sixteen with no family, and powers that I didn’t know how to shut off. You can hear everyone talking —I could hear everyone thinking. And people think terrible fucking things, Matt.”
“I know.”
She glanced at him, where he still held her hand against his chest. His heart had picked up as well, and she wondered if it was because of worry for her.
“All I had was a calling card for Natasha Romanoff and SHIELD, and that’s where I ended up. That was five years before Loki, and all that shit. I had a little bit of time before they needed me but…but then I started training, and I became stronger. And then the world needed me.”
His grip on her hand tightened some as he waited for her to speak. But she didn’t continue. “Is it just mind reading, then?” He asked, lacing their fingers together against his chest.
“I can…,” she didn’t know how to explain what could do. It was much more complicated than reading minds. “I think it’s easier if I show you.”
“I can’t see, you remember that, right?” He joked but she sat up, pulling him up with her.
“Just…just trust me, okay?”
He waited, hand still clinging to hers.
She took a breath and closed her eyes. “You’re going to feel overwhelmed for a second —probably even more than most people do if your senses are heightened. Just take a deep breath and close your eyes for me.”
He nodded and followed her directions. Around her, the room shifted just slightly. Just enough for her to notice but anyone else would think it was a trick of the mind. She took his other hand, holding it tight as his senses went into overdrive for a second. His grip tightened, taking a breath of his own.
“Open your eyes,” she whispered.
What happened when Matt opened his eyes was…it was terrifying, honestly. What was usually a room on fire was clear as day. Bright blues and greens littered his vision, and he released her hands from the shock. Soft lighting, mixed with fairy lights that hung in corners. Shelves full of books, and windows that showed the night sky shining through, with city lights peering inside.
“What did you —“
“Matt, look at me,” she grabbed his hands again, drawing his attention.
His heart almost stopped. He was certain that he was dying, because he could see her. Sitting in front of him, wearing a worn out band T-shirt. Beautiful eyes stared back at him and a bright smile.
“I can see you,” he finally said, reaching up to touch her face. “You are…far more beautiful than I could have even imagined. God help my soul.”
She felt her cheeks get hot, and she looked down for a moment. But he wouldn’t let her, taking in every little detail he could. Memorizing everything he could about the moment. What she looked like, what she wore. Her smile and her eyes and her hair. The lines around her eyes when she smiled, and the dimple in her cheek. He noted the scar on her chin, no doubt from fighting. Every little thing; he needed to remember.
“It’s not…it’s not real,” she admitted with a sad sigh. “I can…I can implant memories or thoughts into your head. So I just…I showed you what I see in my apartment. What I know I look like. Makes me a hell of a spy, though.”
The scene glitched suddenly, as if she couldn’t control it, and the vision before him disappeared. The world was on fire again, and she was gone. Matt’s hands dropped into his lap, staring at her through the fiery vision that he was so used to now. There they sat, staring at one another but not really. His hands reached out and took hers again, holding them in his lap.
“I…I don’t have words to describe how that felt,” he began, instinctively looking down at their hands. “But I am…so glad you showed me.”
“Honestly I just wanted you to see what I looked like.”
They both laughed, sharing a this moment that was almost too good to be true. After a few minutes of laughter, leaning into each other, and just being there, the two calmed down. It was Matt who spoke up first.
“Okay, yeah, I’m gonna kiss you now.”
She laughed again, a nervous yet excited laugh, as he reached up and pulled her by her chin into his space. Their lips met and she returned the kiss with maybe a little too much enthusiasm, smiling into it. Matt deepened after a moment before he pulled away, kissing her cheek as she leaned into him.
I love matt murdock but he really just be like : *covers only his eyes with a mask* *talks in his normal voice to people that know matt while out as daredevil* *does parkour in broad day light* *shows up to work with two black eyes and a side wound that’s still bleeding*
Currently thinking about how much I love Matt's gentle and soothing tone of voice and his soft-spokenness, which reminded me of how Kevin Smith (a DD comic book writer) described Charlie Cox' voice as Matt Murdock as sounding like someone who had trained their voice to be as smooth and soothing as possible after having to hear EVERYTHING most of his life- "Soft and low, like a man who can hear everything trying to bring the noise down." and I'm honestly in love with this description because I feel like it adds a layer of complexity to Matt's psyche character.
Summary: Determined to help, the reader continues to put herself in harm's way. Matt continues to try and stop her.
Notes: This one jumps around a bit. I wanted it to kind of feel like an episode with alternating scenes, so we’ll see if it works. Let me know what you think! You guys seem to really like the last one and your responses mean the world. (Also, I don’t know anything about medical shit or recovery, so ignore any inaccuracies)
Warnings: Torture, gore, plenty of angst
More Marvel Imagines: HERE
-
You couldn’t watch anymore. Every time he climbed out of the window of your apartment, you just watched him go. The nights were growing more and more dangerous and his injuries were getting worse. People were still going missing. Bodies still littered the streets. You decided to do something about it. Who said only the blind guy gets to play vigilante?
Pulling the hood of your jacket further down over your face, you continued down the dark alleyway as silently as possible. The pungent odor of piss and trash assaulted your nose and broken glass cracked under your heels with every step. Even the breeze felt dirty against your fishnet-clad legs. Nobody said going undercover was pretty.
As you neared one of the hotspots of your case, you couldn’t tell if the shaking in your limbs was from anticipation or fear. Probably both.
You were after a human trafficking ring that was kidnapping women from your area. They targetted sex workers so the cops barely even investigated, saying that the women probably just ran off to another part of the city. They were being forgotten. If you could just find out where they were being taken…
There was a sound. Not a loud sound, but enough to catch your attention. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, just as Matt had taught you, and you listened. There was the wind. Sirens. Voices. Feet moving. Feet moving towards you. You opened your eyes and turned to face it.
A dark mass lunged at you before you had the chance.
Your back hit the ground hard, knocking the wind out of you. You let out a gasp and clutched at your attacker’s arms. He didn’t budge. When you finally got your bearings and looked at his face, you were met by a veil of black fabric.
“Matt?”
“Y/N,” He growled. He knew it was you the moment you stepped into the alley.
Busted. You tried to sit up, but he stayed on top of you, holding you down. He spoke through gritted teeth.
“What the hell are you doing here?”
“I thought it was my turn to try out the whole ‘masked crime fighter thing’,” You groaned, still gasping for breath.
“Do you think this is funny?”
“No, I’m wheezing because you're sitting on my chest.”
He climbed off of you and you coughed, slowly starting to catch your breath. Matt pulled you to your feet.
“Go home.”
“I actually have a plan, you know. Unlike you, when you galavant off into the night. I have a plan and I’m going to see it through because there is nobody looking for these women-”
He stepped closer and you could just see the outline of his face under his mask.
“Go. Home. Y/N.”
You leaned forward, breaths away from his lips. “You. First.”
He clenched his jaw and said nothing. From the way his head tilted and his fists clenched, you could tell he wasn’t focused on you anymore. There was someone else. Matt turned just as a pair of figures emerged from the alleyway. You took a fighting stance, but Matt’s arm reached back and shoved you out of the way, taking both of them on himself.
You watched the two assailants take their swings, missing the mark every time. Watching Matt fight was like watching a machine. His movements were fast and precise. He flipped one way and twisted the other. For a second, you forgot what you were there for.
“So,” a voice sneered from the dark, “the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen has a girlfriend.”
You regained your footing and turned around, facing a larger man coming out of the shadow. “You must be the babysitter.” You smirked.
“She fights.” He chuckled. “How cute.”
“Come find out.”
While Matt landed a kick to one man’s stomach, another got a shot at his side. He had his hands full, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of your beginning battle.
You swung first, the collision of your fist with the man’s chest sending a rippling pain up your arm. But it was a powerful pain. You adjusted your weight back, giving him a clean shot to the side of your head. Your vision blurred and your head felt like your brain was rattling around your head. This let him land another punch to your stomach.
For a second, everything moved in slow motion. From the man’s incoming fist to Matt’s fight behind you, the world nearly froze in place. You thought of your training sessions with Matt. You heard his voice instructing you, you felt his hands on your waist, setting your stance, and felt his breath on the back of your neck. You thought of every time he’d knocked you to the floor and every time he knew you’d get back up.
You dodged the next punch and landed three punches in a row to his stomach. You stomp-kicked his knee and ducked under his arm when he lunged at you, swinging your body onto his back. You secured an arm around his neck and squeezed. The brute’s legs began to buckle as your grip tightened. You lept off just as he collapsed.
“Holy shit,” you gasped, trying not to smile at your victory. The man’s breaths were shallow, but he was still alive. He wouldn’t be waking up any time soon. For a breath of a moment, you relaxed.
“Behind you!” Matt screamed.
A pair of hands latched onto your shoulders and hurled you headfirst into a large metal dumpster. If you thought the world was spinning before, it was crashing now. Pain spread down your neck and spine, making every movement unbearable. The man kicked your stomach before running into the dark.
You groaned, coughing and gasping for breath as you tried to pull yourself up. Through your blurry vision, you watched Matt knock the remaining attacker to the ground, hitting him again to make sure he stayed down. For a second, you just saw black, but when the world came back into focus, you were looking into Matt’s face.
“Are you okay?”
“Hmmm.” You nodded, wincing from the motion. He helped you to your feet, but you could tell he was listening for the retreating man. “Go after him. I’m fine.”
“I’m not leaving you here.”
“I’ll take a cab back to the apartment. Go.”
He clenched his jaw and his fists.
“I’ll meet you back there. Now go.” The still furious tone of his voice sent a wave of unease through your already aching body. He wasn’t finished with you.
-
A string of curses left your mouth as you pressed the bag of frozen vegetables against the throbbing side of your head. Even walking to the couch made every muscle in your body scream at you.
“Fuuuuuuuuck.” You groaned, finally able to lie down. It wasn’t the pain bothering you the most. Even after the fight, you still were no closer to finding out who was taking the women and where they were taking them. You played everything over and over again in your head, trying to decipher every last detail. But with your head pounding the way it was, everything just jumbled together, from their faces to their voices.
Voices.
You sat up again, ignoring the shooting pains. That was it. There was something about their voices. An accent. Distinct. Sharp. Russian. But the Russian crime element in Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t powerful enough to be keeping this up untouched. They were just part of the web.
The window slid open and Matt stepped inside. You didn’t move. Neither did he. You just sat there and watched him, waiting for him to say something. Instead, he just went to the front door and made sure it was locked before sliding a chair under the handle.
“I made sure I wasn’t followed-”
“No,” he snapped, “you don’t get to talk right now.”
You stood, unable to stop yourself from wincing since your body still felt like you’d, well, hit a large metal dumpster.
“I was doing fine until you showed up.”
“And what exactly were you doing? Tell me, what was the plan, Y/N? Why were you wandering around an area known for kidnappings dressed like that?” He pressed his hands against your arms, moving them around your torso to check for injuries. You slapped them away and stepped back.
You looked down at the heels you’d kicked off earlier and the fishnet tights still on your legs, practically torn to shreds. You didn’t even bother asking how he knew. Somehow, he always did. At the time, the disguise made more sense. You thought it might catch their attention. Now, even you had to admit you looked ridiculous.
“I was going undercover.”
“For what?”
“Nobody is looking for where they’re taking these women. If I could get them to take me there-”
“You set yourself up to get kidnapped?” He growled. You were almost taken aback by the ferocity in his tone.
“I had a plan-”
He kicked the coffee table, sending it crashing into the wall. “Like hell you did.”
You stared at the splintered wood. “Someone has to do something.”
“I am.”
“Clearly not enough!” You screamed. A deep silence fell between the two of you. He nodded and walked to the kitchen. You ran a hand through your hair in frustration. “I didn’t mean- I just think that-” You sighed. “You can’t do this alone, Matt.”
He said nothing.
Seeing as this fight was getting you nowhere, you grabbed your keys.
“I think I should stay at my place.” You started for the door.
“Don’t.” He leaned on the counter, letting out an exhausted sigh. “Don’t go.”
“I have work I need to-”
“I can’t risk you getting hurt again and you can barely stand.” He slowly made his way over to you. He wanted to reach for you but kept his hands in fists by his side. “Please.”
You wanted to argue. You wanted to tell him he was being ridiculous and that you could handle yourself. But he was right. It was taking all of your energy to argue and your head still hadn’t stopped pounding. Falling back on the couch, you tried to look anywhere but him.
“Fine. I’ll sleep out here tonight.”
Matt scoffed. “Fine.”
He stormed into the bedroom and slid the door shut. You put the frozen bag of vegetables back against the swelling bump on your temple and settled yourself in for a sleepless night.
-
Both the swelling and your pride had subsided by the early morning hours. While you stood by your decision, Matt was worried for good reason. All this time, he’d been doing this on his own. Even telling you about his work to help Hell’s Kitchen was hard for him. Seeing you out there, in the middle of everything he was trying to fix, probably terrified him.
You’d have to hide it better.
With your head feeling mildly better, you were able to make your way to the bedroom. Matt’s back was turned to the door, but you knew he wasn’t asleep. Your feet lightly tread across the wood floor. You climbed into the bed, wrapping your arms around his middle and placing a soft kiss at the base of his neck.
His hands found yours and he sighed. With your chest pressed against his back, you could feel his words as he spoke.
“I can’t lose you too.”
Neither of you said anything else.
-
Matt had insisted you stay in the apartment.
“They saw you.” He’d said. “They saw you with me. It’s not safe until I can track them down.”
He was probably right, but you had work to do.
No one at the office commented on the large bruise across your temple, but you received plenty of odd looks. When your editor approached you, you shrugged off the injury and told him you’d tripped on the stairs. You skipped the usual talk with your coworkers over coffee and went straight to your office. Your wall was already a collage of research that you and a fellow reporter, Ben Urich, had started on the crime growing in Hell’s Kitchen. You pinned a paper reading ‘Russians’ next to the note about human trafficking. From all previous research, you knew there was no way they could have an operation of this scale and keep under the radar.
They had to have power and protection coming from somewhere.
In your focus, you almost didn’t hear your office phone ringing.
“Hello?”
“I told you to stay at the apartment.” Matt’s voice growled.
You rolled your eyes. “Are you spying on me?”
“No, I just had a hunch you wouldn’t listen to me.”
“Matt,” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, “I can’t just hole up until you decide it’s safe again.”
“This isn’t a game-” He said, taking a deep breath to calm himself down. “I’m coming to get you.”
“Matt-”
“Just stay there.”
He hung up. You threw the phone back onto the receiver.
“Am I interrupting?” Someone asked, making you jump. You whirled around, finding a man standing in your doorway. You gave him a flustered smile.
“No, please come in.”
“That won’t be necessary.” He smirked.
You looked at him in confusion. “I’m sorry?”
He lowered his voice to a whisper. “Come with me or my associate out there starts shooting.” It was then you heard the accent. Russian. You looked out of the door and sure enough, there was another man in a dark jacket standing at the entrance of the office, eyeing all of your coworkers with malice.
“What do you want?” You asked, hoping your face wouldn’t betray your fear. His fingers locked around your arm.
“Come with me and don’t make a scene.” He yanked you forward, but let you go once he was in the public space. Your editor eyed you as you walked to the door.
“Y/N, where are you going? I thought you were working on a story?” He asked.
“I am.” You kept your voice calm and level, watching the man with his hand in his pocket. “I interviewed these men last night and they have more they wanted to discuss. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
“I need that story by-”
“I said I’ll have it done.” You snapped. He rolled his eyes and went back to his work.
You kept your head up as the two escorted you outside. Once out of the building, you turned around.
“What the hell do you want?”
Instead of an answer, you got a fist colliding with your face. Your head went back, hitting the roof of the car behind you. It didn’t knock you out at first. You watched, as if out of your body, as they picked you up and put you in the trunk before everything went black.
-
Matt stormed into the journalism office, listening to every voice in the room. City council story. Celebrity wedding. Stark Tower renovation. But no you.
“Is there something I can help you with?” Your editor asked.
“Where’s Y/N?”
“You must be that lawyer friend, Maverick or something. I don’t have time for this, I’m already behind thanks to her.” He scoffed, going back into his office. Matt shot his hand out before he closed the door.
“Where is she?”
“Beats me. She left with a couple of guys she was interviewing two hours before the deadline.” He said. Matt’s heart dropped.
“Who were they?”
“What?”
“The men she left with, do you know who they were?”
“Look, we didn’t exactly exchange contact information. She said they wanted to finish up an interview she did last night. If you find her- hey!”
Matt was practically running out of the office before he could finish. He made it out to the street. Scents he’d been too focused to notice before invaded his senses. Burning rubber. Gasoline. Blood.
“Y/N.” Your name came out with a desperate breath.
Car horns blared from all sides. People argued and talked loudly on the phone. Upstairs, fingers tapped against keyboards. Printers scratched and beeped. As his panic set in, Matt tuned all of them out. He cleared his head as best he could and listened for screams.
-
You weren’t sure which woke you up first, the loud arguing voices or the fist colliding with your stomach. You coughed, a slew of curses sputtering out of your mouth.
“Good, she’s awake.” The man who’d hit you said. As your eyes adjusted, you recognized two of the men as the ones who’d taken you from the office. There were three others and one more behind all of them, staying in the shadows. You’d been stripped down to your bra and underwear and your arms were zip-tied behind your back. You spit out a mouthful of blood.
“Sorry, I’m late to the party.” You grunted with as much sarcasm as you could muster. This earned another punch, this one to the side of your face.
“This is very simple.” Another man leaned over you, pulling your hair back so you were looking at him. “We will ask you questions. You will answer them. We will let you live.”
“Animal, vegetable, or mineral?”
Another punch. If it weren’t for the man holding your hair, you would have fallen out of the chair they had you in. You tugged against your bindings, but they were too tight.
“This is ridiculous.” Shadow man scoffed. “Call me when you have a result.”
“Don’t worry.” The man that took you from the office smirked. “We’ll get our answers.”
“You know what, you all know my name, but I don’t know any of yours. I’m going to call you Crazy Eyes, I’m going to call you Macho Man, and I’m going to call you-”
The knife cutting across your cheek stopped your words with a painful gasp. Crazy Eyes flicked his wrist, letting your blood drip from the blade to the cement floor.
“Now, like I said- we ask questions, you give us answers.”
You gritted your teeth. “Fucking. Bite. Me.”
He tensed and motioned for Macho Man. They both grabbed you by the arm and kicked the chair out from under you. The cement scraped your arms as they shoved you to the ground. Crazy Eyes held you down by the shoulders. Macho Man stood by your legs.
“Who is the man in the black mask?”
You lifted your head and whispered. “Don’t tell anyone, but I think he might be the Hulk.”
The man by your legs lifted his heavy boot and stomped it down hard on your shin. You felt the bone crack. An immeasurable pain shot up through your body. You clamped your mouth shut. If you screamed, Matt would find you and fall right into their trap. They all laughed at your muffled cries.
“Where do we find the man in the black mask?”
You kept your mouth shut. He snapped his fingers and one of the other men handed him a different knife, this one longer and sharper. He climbed on top of you, putting his knees on your shoulders. His weight crushed your arms into the cement even more and shifted your now broken leg, sending another wave of pain.
“We found one of our men in a dumpster. The man in the black mask had questioned him, tortured him. He took a blade and stabbed him just above the eye here.” He put the tip of the knife against your eyelid.
“He’ll find you.” You spat. “He will kick the shit out of all of you.”
“Who is he!”
You stared up at him with defiance. He pressed the knife in just enough to break skin. You held your breath. He pushed it further, just slightly, but your eye felt like it was exploding. You couldn’t hold back the screams anymore. You tried to move, but his knees pinned you down. You kicked your legs, only adding the pain. Your shrieks echoed through the empty parking garage until there was a new sound. Something crashing.
He pulled the knife out and looked around. Through the blood and tears pouring from your eyes, you could just see that one of the men was gone. Another was pulled into the dark, followed by a series of punches and grunts.
“Shit,” Crazy Eyes got off of you and pulled out his gun. You breathed through your sobs, trying to blink the stinging blood out of your eye. As bullets soared over your head, you spotted the discarded knife only a few feet away from you. Using the strength you had left, you rolled over, snatched the knife off the ground, and started to saw at the zip tie.
By the time you’d broken free, the three guards were gone, leaving only Crazy Eyes and Macho Man, both of whom were firing their guns into the dark. That’s when you saw him, a dark mass darting through the shadows. Crazy Eyes must have seen him too because he aimed his weapon right at him. With your good leg, you kicked the back of his knee, knocking him back and sending his shot to the ceiling.
“Fucking bitch.” He yelled, turning his weapon to you. Before he could pull the trigger, Matt kicked him in the stomach and landed a series of hits to his chest. Crazy Eyes swung, but Matt’s headshot knocked him out cold.
The remaining man decided the odds were against him and tried to run. Matt grabbed a gun off the floor and threw it at him, hitting the back of his head. He fell with a thud.
“I-I didn’t tell them, I swear.” You cried, your body shaking from the pain. Matt knelt beside you, gently pulling you into his arms. He took off his mask and pressed the fabric to the wound over your eye. You turned your face away. “They’ll see you.”
“They won’t be waking up for a while, it’s okay.” He lifted you off the ground and you tried not to wince. You tried to move your leg, but the pain was too much. You let out a loud cry. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. We’re going to get you to a hospital and you’re going to be okay.” You could hear the panic in his voice.
“No,” You said. “We can’t go to a hospital. They’ll find you.”
“I don’t care. I’m getting you help.”
“Matt, please.” You lifted a hand and touched his cheek. “Just take me home.”
He looked like he was about to argue, but he didn’t say anything. He listened for other men and made sure everything was clear before carrying you out.
-
“You’re lucky he didn’t take your eye out.” Claire said, placing the gauze over your eye. “And you’ll need to go to an actual hospital for your leg. I can only try and set it temporarily. You’ll need a real cast.”
“That’s what I told her,” Matt said from the doorway. Your laugh turned into a groan. Your ribs already started to bruise and your cheek was swollen and red.
“As long as you stay in bed and let yourself heal, I think you’ll be fine.” She gave you a very pointed look. She put her things in her bag and turned to Matt. “Do I need to patch you up too?”
He shook his head. “Not a scratch.”
“I’m impressed. Usually, you have at least a few internal injuries.” She smirked and finished packing her things.
“I guess I just had the right motivation.” You knew that, in his own way, he was looking at you. “Thank you, Claire.”
“I’ll be back in a couple of days to check on her and there better be a cast on that leg.” She gave him a pat on the shoulder before leaving.
You sat up and started to get out of the bed. Matt hurried over to you.
“Where do you think you’re going?” He put his hands on your shoulders, making you lay back down.
“I have work to do. Those guys, I can figure out who they were. Maybe I can find the man who got away. I bet he’s the one that’s really in charge or at least works for whoever is.”
“Slow down.” He said. “You aren’t going anywhere.”
“Matt, I have to do something.”
“Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” He raised his voice, less out of frustration and more out of fear. “First, you went out last night alone trying to get yourself kidnapped and today, after I specifically told you to stay here, you got yourself taken. You could have been killed. What would I have done then?” His voice cracked and a jolt of guilt shot through your sore chest.
“I want to help.” You said softly.
“And I need you to stay safe.” He laid down beside you, resting his head gently on your shoulder. “I need you.”
You laced your fingers with his and kissed the top of his head.
“If you keep doing this alone, it’ll destroy you. What will I do then?”
He exhaled a heavy sigh but said nothing. Like last night, neither of you needed to say anything. You laid together in the quiet, each with your stubbornness hanging in the air. Maybe that was the cost of all of this. Even with the pain and the blood and broken bones, you wouldn’t have done anything differently.
“Matt.”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
He held your hand a little tighter. “I love you too. Just…” He sighed. “Promise me you’ll be more careful.”
You laughed lightly. “You first.”
He chuckled, kissing your jaw softly, moving up to your lips. He cuddled up next to you- careful not to hit your leg or bruises- and the two of you spent the rest of the day in bed.
-
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