Gem

My worst enemy is my reflection

[supgemie-blog]

Do you know what is miserable? Poorness.

[supgemie-blog]

That sucks

I was born lonely, hardly could find the love from some of my relatives. But I still suppose that my childhood was awesome. That just happened to sucked since I started to realise the real world. No more magical things and no more pink glasses. I was tormented just by studying. My mother could easily burst into tear when I was not able to get an award for studying hard. And some of my teachers and classmate talked shit behind my back just due to the fact that my mark kept slipping away day by day. I was extremely stressed out, just honest to say so. Instead of playing around or doing some crazy stuff like other kids, I had to spend most of the time being in class and pretending to be a nice, really nice student. I had to focus on researching on those damn fields I had no interset. And of course I cried a lót but no one knew and almost no one cared. And at that time, I had already figured out, something weird did appear and slowly grew in my mind...

[supgemie-blog]

When I was born as a Gemini

Since I was a little kid, I have always assumed that I possess another one - a different me, inside my head. The one with the shadow but different personality in contract. The one is fond of whispering my ears and giving some advices or perspective about life and human.

[supgemie-blog]

Break down

I have never thought about suicide like this before though I have to admit that, I did want to die, did want to disappear when things could not go right and my heart got hurt all the time. However now, there is a stark disparity between these two aspects, between the past and the present. I not only just simply “want” but also “think about” and “plan” to do it. How to commit suicide and how to make nobody feel sympathetic and painful after that? I just keep thinking about this issue. “Life is so tiring and troublesome and happiness is always something so strange to me”, this thought keeps spinning in my head. And my legs, though I stand idle, still tremble and almost fall down. On those days, I feel so empty. The only feeling I can get is sadness. That sadness paints my head black.