i will never be the same again. @surviving-guilt - Tumblr Blog

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Even the most tragic stories thankfully have endings.

- Hopeless & Homesick

Hey guys, I recorded this whilst crying at 3 AM. I’d appreciate if y’all checked it out and shared in my misery. Thanks.

I am fucking empty. This week last year I was in a mental hospital because I was fucking empty. I will always be fucking empty god fucking dammit.

#personal

after having the worst panic attack/breakdown I’ve had in about a year, I’ve come to the realization that this week last year I attempted suicide 3 times and ended up in a mental hospital and upon leaving said hospital I set a course on sobriety and self improvement. Instead I let myself be manipulated, used, lied to, mistreated, and lead in the wrong directions, fell into addiction and new levels of self destructive behaviors. In the last 365 days I’ve attempted suicide 5 times, once coming scary close to succeeding, have been institutionalized, gone to rehab, gone to jail, been raped, became addicted to cocaine, fallen deeply into alcoholism, have been stabbed, robbed, cheated on, fired, thrown out of my house, had my heart stop 4 times, fought my father twice, and lost every single friend I had this time last year. I didn’t deserve to ever make it out of that hospital. I’m a fucking failure to myself, and I have no one but me to blame. I can’t even blame you for me being weak. I just wish I wasn’t. I’m sorry to everyone I’ve let down, not that any of them will read this because there are none of you left. I’ve been given up on by everyone, namely me.

fuck.

#personal