Tumblr Survivor: Port Royal @survivorportroyal - Tumblr Blog

Port Royal DVD cover

Fan Favorite and Player of the Season Awards!

This season we had the viewers vote on who was their favorite players and the hosts also picked one person who they felt played one of the best overall games!

#gotnothingforyou

Episode 13 (Finale) Confessions Part 2

That Nick vote hurt. I honestly felt pretty crap about doing that. We were good friends. People had the wrong perception of us in that I was his wing man. Trust me that it was the other way around. He may have head Stef tucked under one wing but I was not under the other. I had to show the jury that I came to play and if y'all think I’m playing a sidekick role then I’m going to show you the opposite. I’m a little shocked that my plan to make myself the final 5 swing actually worked. I think that now I have a stronger case than anyone else left in the game to the jury, and if they respect me I may win this game even though it hangs on whether Lydia & Wes don’t stab me last second. I mean I frickin’ voted with the 2 people who had voted me out the previous tribal council. If that isn’t making a statement I don’t know what is.

One thing that worries me about writing the torch walk is what people will think of what I’m saying. I’m not going to tell the whole story to anyone about how I’ve played or why I voted them out because I might need that stuff come final tribal council if I get there. I don’t want someone pulling out the broken record card on me, nor am I going to suck up to someone who I really have to iron the creases out with and the torch walk is not the place to do that as I cannot get a response. I hope some people actually leak their game play because if I get to FTC I’ll bring it up myself and say “hmm look this is the exact same shit they said on the torch walk! They got nothing else to say”. Of course I’m going to come out all guns blazing. I want to win now. My head is back in the game and I’m here for the title of soul survivor.

I can’t believe we’re in the final moments of this game. It feels kind of euphoric to be here and actually remember all the players in the game in the torch walk. I hope I didn’t give anything away, I need as much of my game unexposed should I get to final tribal council so that I can show that jury that I played hard, that I had to backstab and double cross to do it and that I did more than anyone else left in this game. I mean I do think that I haven’t a rat’s arse of a chance to win this game but without hope there is nothing! So I’ll keep on hoping!

I’m a little shocked by what Wes has done. Scrap that. I’m fucking furious at what Wes has done. How could you actually do this right at the end and expect it to benefit your game. Don’t pull out any promise cards with me because you’ve broken trust one and cuts may heal but they leave a scar. This is nothing but a pure asshole move and I hope that the jury see this as exactly that and not one where you put yourself back in danger and risked it all. This is a lose lose situation for you and if you somehow manage to win because of THIS I will seriously question the intelligence of the jury. I’m fuming. You’ve hurt Lydia a lot, if you’ve lied to me and voted me out, you’ve hurt me a lot. Don’t play an innocent game if you’re going to pull bitch moves. Be a bitch and fucking own it if that’s how you’re going to play. Fucking hell I’ve no idea what is going on. I’m even more angry that I didn’t get the necklace now because he probably wouldn’t be pulling this shit if that was the case. This isn’t a move to win the game man. I just don’t get it, I just don’t.

Lawl there isnt a hope in high hell this jury would vote for me. Seems like Lydia or Wes has this wrapped up. I hope Lydia wins the challenge because she deserves it more than he does. And Wes, please don’t compare yourself to Stephen Fishbach, you were definitely not the brains to the Caguaya alliance. Lydia was both Stephen & JT, you were the ground beneath her!

Wow. Final 3. Who'd have thought that the random from the other side of the Atlantic Ocean would make their way all the way to the end? This experience has been amazing. Truly enjoyable! Some of my confessionals I know have been rude but in the heat of the moment I've had to vent. Seeing Lydia go is really painful, but with every turn the game takes comes a new opportunity. I think my biggest competition is now out of the game *cue Spencer heroic music* and my best friend is on the jury which may benefit my game if I can win over that vote, the rest of her votes could fall in my direction too. As of now though, it really is anyone's game and that's what every Survivor fan loves to see all the way to the end. May the best player win!

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 13 (Finale) Confessions Part 1

Right. Ok. Hmm. 2 votes? Strange seeing as I was putting myself in perilous waters for you guys to get the information we needed and get Stef into playing her idol. Makes me wonder where my true alliance really is. Lydia said to me that she was one of the votes and she did it accidentally but the second vote is where the suspicious is. Wes if it was you then you've left me no option but to stick with Nick. Zoe if you split your double vote my options are still open. It looks like I could be the F5 swing which is a powerful position to be in. I just need to not screw shit up. I'm perplexed, but happy at the same time? This game is so fucking layered. I've never lied about my vote. I lied to Allison about working with her but I never said I wasn't writing her name down. I need to sleep on this.

I really really feel that I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I think I actually am the F5 swing which is what I planned to add to my jury case but I didn't expect the events around me getting myself into this position to happen. I'm shocked that Wes & Lydia turned on me, despite their reasoning why they did it. I feel betrayed because I think that I put my ass on the line to vote out Zoe. If Zoe & Nick had connected the dots of what I was doing I was toast, burnt toast at that. I'm trying to process who will vote who, who I can beat, who I can stand a chance again, and if I make a move am I still going to go to the end. I would hate to lose to Nick solely because he won challenges and is "nice". People think I am his right hand man but this isn't true. I assembled the JackTar trio. I rekindled that flame come F7 when I had my idea to make sure no matter what side of the vote I was on I was not going to go home. It's whether these people buy my plea or not. I feel like Lydia has had a tough time but I just have a doubt looming. If I put her on the jury I have her vote, and honestly I don't think I can beat her. Zoe/Rachel/Trevor are guaranteed votes for her. If I betray Nick now then I would be cutting a tie even though I'm showing I have been playing the game. I feel my friendship is more important than the game but I want to win. The trust wasn't broken by me, and now it's my decision to decide my fate. If Nick wins immunity I might just have to say bye. There is no point in me voting with Lydia & Wes to take out Stef, because Stef is a goat and everyone knows it. If I could get Nick out this vote, and then Wes I could win the game. If I take Nick out then Lydia then I think I will win this game. It's so much to try and process. I just cannot fathom as to why I got both votes, ESPECIALLY when I told them EVERYTHING about what was happening. I even got the fucking idol baited out. So much I have to process that I honestly don't know what's going to happen. If I have that necklace after the immunity challenge I will be able to thrash out the ideas more comfortably. I just don't know what to do.

I really need this immunity but it sounds like it’s going to be pretty hard… If there was ever a time I needed immunity… now is the time. Steven is playing cool but my gut tells me my ass is out of here if I’m not immune… I don’t know why he’s cool with Lydia again, but when I’m honest about voting for him too he treats me completely different… I mean whatever. He’ll probably find out he’s being played by both of us sooner or later.

The immunity challenge was really fun! I was really confident with most of my answers because I took decent notes throughout the video. It was tough not having any idea how the other contestants did, and then Sam announced that Wes had won immunity.

Darn you, clip #4! That was definitely my downfall in this challenge. It's alright, though because the next person I wanted to vote out was Lydia anyway. When we were in an alliance she took a leadership role a lot and I think that makes her very dangerous in the finals. She has also proven to be good at challenges. I have Stef and Steven at my side and as long as neither of them decide to turn on me it should be smooth sailing into the final four. My other fear is that I am becoming too overconfident and will end up being blindsided after coming so far.

The finale is so close it is almost within my reach! I just need to make it through tribal tonight first!

I don’t really know how I won that immunity but I needed it and I fucking came though and now honestly I feel like I’m in a pretty decent position. I’m starting to realize that Lydia probably has a better shot than me, and she actually seems to have Steven willing to flip back… I’m almost hoping Steven votes her out because I know she’d be really good to have on the jury, and she’d be rooting for me. Is that awful to say? She’s really confident though and honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if she survived this. She has some sort of black magic… It’s awesome and scary at the same time.

Wow that was fun! I am still bitter about being voted out in 5th place but at least i had a good time and i learned to NOT TRUST ANYONE if i ever play again. I should have tried harder to convince Steven to not flip on me. I knew it was a possibility and i think I made it too obvious that i would have taken Stef to the finals if given the chance. I also regret not turning on the 6-person alliance and voting out Lydia a long time ago, but she has so many people under her thumb! Call it cockiness but i think if my last tribal had gone my way and i was able to eliminate Lydia, I would have the best chance of winning over everyone else. For now I am stewing in Ponderosa hating the fact that i was so close to the end! The final tribal council won't matter to me. I am voting for Stef to win no matter what if she makes it. She was my only true ally the entire game and i want to have her back like she had mine!

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 12 Confessions

I've been thinking a lot. I'm playing a double agent and I've told Lydia that I'm doing it so that both our asses will be covered in the event Nick wins immunity and Stef uses her idol. As much as I don't think I can beat Lydia in the end I think my friendship is worth more to me than winning the game. We understand each other a lot, and it's pretty awesome to have someone that you can tell anything and know they are not going to run and tell anyone. If I can make the final 2 or 3 with Lydia it will be amazing that we've stuck with this from day 1, watching each others' backs, making sure if we heard anything that we told each other and exploring different plans about our own alliance without being afraid to make a suggestion of something drastic. But most of all we're able to talk beyond the game, and I think I would be lost if I didn't have her with me in this game. We're going all the way to the end together, I just sense it.

So I wanna talk about Steven because he’s acting really fucking shady for someone who is supposedly in an alliance of four with me, Lydia, and Zoe… like… I don’t know why the hell he feels like he’s got to play this fucking double agent routine but he sure as fuck didn’t discuss it with us first… it’s kind of a selfish move that I feel like ruined our attempts at flushing that fucking idol and now we don’t have a Trevor to vote for… looks like it’s your turn Steven. :) Good thing Zoe’s got that double vote!

Tribal happens and Trevor finally goes home. I almost believed that idol was real but i think he knew the whole time that it wasn't. I'm honestly surprised that nobody flipped and voted with him against Stef. Immediately following tribal we play the "walk the plank" challenge and wouldn't you know i only get to answer 2 questions before my entire tribe pushes me into the water first!

Way to make it extremely clear that you all want me out! And then Stef follows right behind me. Hello?! If you don't want her to use her idol next tribal maybe don't make it so obvious that she is now on the outs! Despite the fact that i know Lydia and Zoe want me gone asap I managed to win immunity when i needed it most!

The plan now is to play dumb, tell zoe and lydia we should vote stef and have stef use her idol so i can get out one of those two girls :)

right now we're between a rock and an equally intimidating rock. it's still up in the air who is going home after nick won immunity. it's still up in the air whether or not steven is on our side. any move we make right now is a risk. so this is the plan: we tell steven we're splitting the vote between me and stef. me, lydia, wes, and my second vote will vote for stef. he, and after coercing them, nick and stef as well. if stef plays the idol, i will go home. this is what we'll actually do: four votes to steven. stef plays the idol to save herself, fingers fucking crossed. but we switch our votes to steven, and he goes home. if this goes horribly wrong, i've gotta hand it to them. we'll see.

Playing two sides is really exhausting. I'm currently in a great position but I don't want to lose Lydia so I have been working my ass off to make sure it is on Zoe and not her even though Nick & Stef initially wanted Lydia. They seem to have followed my idea to take the bigger threat out and I feel shit doing this to Zoe because she will get so much "I told you so"s from the jury. People think I am Nick's right hand man on the jury and this could not be farther from the truth. I've wanted him out for ages so if we both get to the end I will have lots of explaining to do. If Zoe goes home it will put me in a great position going into F5 to get to the end. I've told Wes about being on both sides and he's giving Stef the cold should to bait her into playing her idol so that they are defenseless come the final 5 vote. So many different connections have to be worked out for what seems like is going to be a simple vote. I want Lydia to stay. As I said I don't think I can win this game and if I can't I want my best friend to.

SO APPARENTLY OUR ASSES ARE ABOUT TO GET EXPOSED BECAUSE ZOE VOTED FOR THE WRONG FUCKING PERSON!!!!!!! From what Lydia has been feeding me from Steven it looks like she just voted herself out…………….. honestly if my game’s gonna get fucked over i really would rather it be my own damn fault rather than my ally voting wrong but i can’t help but feel really bad for her….[dan foley voice] HOWEVER, This was like the ONE time that we had no room for error and now we’re gonna isolate Steven… I really hope this isn’t some elaborate plan to blindside me, but at this point I honestly don’t feel like people want to… I’ve thrown enough challenges to not be considered a threat and Lydia has been taking heat for being a social threat… I’ve been trying to vent to my friend outside the game about this but I think i just made them really upset because of how fucking panicked I am right now…

So this is a full tribal late, i need some time away. my last tribal was hard. here's what happened I accidentally submitted my votes for Stef. I wasn’t thinking I was tired, and the stress of this game was getting to me and they both start with the same two letters. By the time I realized, it was too late. I literally went into my room and cried. Because in the past, when i’ve fucked up, it’s only affected me, but this time it could affect wes, it could affect lydia. they'd let me into their alliance and i really like them both as people and i felt terrible for letting them down bc i know how much they want it. ok, here's some closing remarks: i'm glad it was me, actually. i'd hate it if lydia or wes went home because of my mistake. and there's a bit of relief, ya know? that game was so stressful for me. as strange as it feels to not be in it, to not be able to talk to lydia or wes or to know what's going on in the game, like there's that hole in my day to day life now. but it also feels nice, to not have to worry anymore. over the past few days, i've just been playing over and over in my head how different i'd be if i hadn't messed up, if i'd voted steven like i'd meant to. but that's not the reality. and i think i've come to terms with that now. and it's good.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 11 Confessions

Well don't I look like an idiot?

I didn't learn my lesson from when my old ally Rachel trusted Trevor and like a dumbass i believed what he said about the coin and myvote was nullified. Not only that but Steven and Wes did not do what they were supposed to do and split the votes like we planned on so now I'm over here looking like a fool because I'm the only one that cast a vote for Trevor. Steven tells me "i panicked because i thought the coin would be more powerful." That doesn't even make any sense! I am pretty frustrated right now all i can do is shake it off and win another immunity. . . . Damn.

A new game is on the horizon. I have made it.

OMG!!!!! I can't get over this tribal!!! 2 people in our alliance didn't follow the plan... I can't believe Trevor is still here! He should be gone... I only wish I also broke the plan and voted who I really wanted to... After I asked what happened, someone changed the subject and then no one responded! WTF happened to our alliance??? I'm just glad that I already have something set up for now... when the time comes to turn on each other...

I finally get to work with Lydia. She says she has a plan to keep me in the game. The goal is for me to win immunity so we can vote out Nick and then Stef. I have a good idea on how I will make it to the end now. I will win this game.

It’s been awhile since I made a confessional, it’s honestly like I’ve been coasting through the game right now… everything is too easy and I have no idea how we haven’t turned on each other yet. I mean I always preached the importance of tribal unity in the beginning but it never actually works… Lydia has been getting really close to Trevor recently… maybe I’m getting a little jeaous ;P Like, she ended a call with me to go talk to him and it’s really making me nervous because the last time people started getting close to Trevor something terrible happened. NOT AGAIN PLEASE. Trevor leaving is sort of something I’d prefer, because Stef’s idol is still a huge worry and they’d be idiotic not to feel like our alliance is gonna implode soon… I want that idol gone. They won’t play an idol on Trevor. Nick doesn’t like Trevor. Trevor is desperate. He’s alone. He’s going to latch on to whoever will take him and leave a trail of chaos in his wake if he gets his claws dug in, and I feel like Lydia is letting her emotions get in the way of what’s best for our alliance. I need to be more pushy because I don’t think she sees the danger in keeping him. Even if he is with her, that’s one more person other than me that she has… and I don’t like that.

Yay Lydia won immunity. Not yay is the fact they see Nick as more competition than Trevor. What is wrong with you guys? He has made the biggest move and has 3 of his tribe sitting on the jury already. Right now I'm trying to establish an alliance with Nick & Stef which would mean I have an alliance with everyone left. But this is where I see my key to winning the game. If I can keep Stef calm enough not to play her idol then come the final 6 vote when we're planning to vote off her or Nick from the 4 person alliance, I could give her a tip off before tribal about who to play her idol on whilst we all vote Zoe sending her home. I'd have orchestrated the move getting rid of the person every old member of Florizel hates! It's a bit fancy but it's so clear in my mind that I just have to go through with it. I would have to betray Lydia by not telling her. At the same time this could put me as the swing vote in the Final 5 which is a dream position meaning I control the fate of the Final 3. I'm a tad excited but I don't want to get too carried away in case it bites me in my big ass first!

These guys are so dumb! (Minus Lydia). It's like they refuse to make a move. It's like they think the game ends at final 6 and they all win. I've got news for you honey, 5 of you are losers! I can't say anything to them without them telling each other what I said. Like really? Don't come crying to me when they start targeting you. You had your chance. Also, one of them has the idol. Not sure who. But I have like two guesses left so I either have terrible luck or its long gone.

I'm pissed. Trevor is still throwing me under the bus to Lydia and then tries to give out to me for telling Nick he wants him out? I need Nick on my side idiot, I don't need you. You keep making Lydia freak out at me which is not okay because I know what I'm doing. Keep being the hypocrite you are and don't threaten me that I am "not doing anything for your jury vote". I'm not going to sit here and lick your arse as I'm writing your name down. Back off buddy. If by some weird way I go home before him I'll lose it. I'm getting close to cracking and having a go at him. I've tried to be friendly but if you're going to run off with it to someone and deny it then pop the fuck off. The only reason I'm not calling you out on it is because it's Lydia that will get the back lash and I cannot do that to her. This will be the most satisfying vote. GO HOME!

I'm annoyed of being told how I should play my game. If I cut someone off that's my problem, not anyone else. If my telling the truth screws your game because you've lied...that's your prerogative. I'm not going to beat about the bush, but unfortunately this bush is so full of bullshit it's hard to cut straight through and get to the point

I'll submit Wes' confessional for him.... waaaaaaaa I'm Wes I don't have an easy path to the end so it's all Sam's fault waaaaaaaaa even tho the people that voted me out of Chief's Island are probably some of the smartest players in Tumblr Survivor waaaaaa

I've made a fake idol. I realized the centre of the old idol I found was florizel blue. So I am assuming the Caguaya one would be brown. I know that no one ever found the Caguaya idol. So I photoshopped my old idol to make it brown and I showed it to nick. I explained to him that it was given to me from a Caguaya member before the merge. I then referred him back to the immunity challnege #5 post where it shows the idol exchange. I think he believes me. This could be interesting.

My first tribal council in a while without individual immunity and I could not be more paranoid! nobody has said a single word in the caguaya alliance chat, which makes me very nervous. Stef is the only person i trust 100%, and Steven is just below her. i know they are both voting for Trevor but i have no idea about the rest. Trevor has tried to convince me that he still has an idol that someone gave him early in the game. If that is true i would be very surprised. There is no way he would have gone this long without using it! Anyway, i told him that i would vote with him against Zoe. I am really voting for him just in case he is full of shit. This way hopefully the worst case scenario is that Zoe goes home with one vote and i stay safe!

This just keeps getting more crazy. I've heard now that Nick has wanted to vote me out but was caught out and that Trevor has now been campaigning to get me out. I apologized to him for my bluntness but he hasn't responded to me. It kind of throws my plans into disarray since I wanted to use Nick & Stef as a way of getting Zoe out. However it looks like that I'm just going to have to keep going without making a move. It sickens me to think that people may view me as a goat. I hate that I cannot manage to keep things silent and efficient. Wes seems to be the only one that understands and that is probably because he has experience. I don't see how I can win this game anymore..so maybe it's time to start campaigning for my #1 to win, because if I can't I want her to.

Trevor fucking scares the shit out of me. He says he has the idol, he decides to show me the idol 15 minutes before tribal, as though i haven't already voted? he'd have no reason to tell me otherwise. why would he tell me he has the idol if he has the idol? and we know stef has it anyway. there's no way... if i go home tonight, congrats. he fucking played the shit out of this game and played me. good on him. fingers crossed, that's not the case.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 10 Confessions

Survived another vote! Something has got to change soon. These Caguaya people have got to start fighting eventually. On the bright side they voted out Adam. As much as I wanted him in the game there may have come a time that I would have had to vote for him. And that would have been hard to do. No matter what any of the others may think, Adam is a good guy.

Bye Adam. Good player but I totally expected more from you. You lay down and virtually died. Don't give up ffs. Make chats, throw people under the bus, make people in our alliance want each other out! Like dude anything could throw us into disarray *throwback to mysterious idol*. Anyway time to move on to the next target *put crosshairs on next victim* hey Trevor! He's got to go. The final 4 alliance are starting to get sketchy about Nick which is not what I want. He cannot go just yet because it severs the Caguaya 6 and Stef of all people has the idol. This has thrown a wrench in the whole plan. The auction has caused a little tension because people want to go for this and that yet we're working like robots to make sure they don't get an advantage or an idol, even though that clue is probably the same as Stef's...Ugh why is everyone so filled of paranoia?! If I can keep cool, calm & collected I could be in with a chance..

Game update: Really the only thing I can do at this point is win the next immunity. If I can make it to final 7 I have a good chance of being the swing vote when Caguaya starts to eat each other alive. I have tried to make a connection with everyone left in the game (except Zoe of course). They should realize if they stick with their group only two of them will make it to the end because Zoe will be in the final 3. She would have atleast 4 people on the jury guaranteed not to vote for her. She is the dead fish.

Perhaps my luck is turning? I won the Silver Coin in the auction which automatically nullifies the next vote cast against me. The Caguaya people scare so easily I can probably freak them out to not even vote for me because of this "special coin" I have. Hopefully this is enough to get me through the next vote. Or I could just win immunity. That sounds easy enough. ;)

I've been feeling a bit shit today. I offered an olive branch to Trevor today in a friendly way and he just uses my conversation to stir shit up. He sent screenshots to Lydia about how I'm afraid of too many goats getting far into the game. Luckily Lydia is my best ally & friend in the game and has my back to the bitter end. He obviously thinks she's a goat when in fact she's a very strong and formidable strategist. I feel like Trevor showed his true colours because it was just an asshole move. I've tried to be nice but if you're just going to use it against me for no real reason then fuck that. Don't choke on your stupid silver coin because I hope you're on the jury as soon as possible.

Caguaya is smarter than I thought they were. They all know Zoe is the most useless person in this game but they purposefully didn't use her name in any of the answers for the bad categories in the immunity challenege. Smart. Very smart. Time to come up with a new plan. And a plan to get rid of nick as soon as he loses.

I just won the "Touchy Subjects" immunity challenge!

I am so happy that i won but i was not expecting it. After seeing that Trevor won a 2-point advantage in the auction i was already starting to plan out what move to make once he had immunity. Now that Trevor is still vulnerable all logic says that we should vote him out tomorrow night. However, I need to think carefully about my next move.I was selected as the person who mistakenly thinks he is running the game and this could mean that i will be a target soon. I have immunity right now so it is possible that it is my time to finally make a risky move. However, i would need some support. One more wild card is Trevor's silver coin. He mentioned to me that it should "come in handy" at tribal but i doubt it is anything powerful enough to save him if the 6-person alliance stays strong. I guess we will find out!

I might be freaking out a little but my gut is telling me I'm going home. As far as I know my name has not been discussed but I have such a nervous feeling for the first time in this game. I just feel like everything is going to go tits up at tribal council and that I'll go home. IDK WHAT IS HAPPENING I'VE BEEN SO FRICKIN CALM ALL GAME. Ok mini rant over.

I DON'T SMELL LIKE FISH I SMELL LIKE POMEGRANATES....Jerks

Trevor isn't this your third confession today? Yes. Shut up. I have a lot to say. So this is what I've done: I've pleaded my case to Wes and Lydia to try and swing them to vote out Zoe (I wish it could be nick but of course he won immunity). I showed them a screenshot of Nick telling me he wants to make a move soon which hopefully makes them lose trust in Nick. I have told them the coin will be used and it's all we need to get one of the others out. They still don't know exactly what it does. With this move I promised them both a spot in the final 3 which I will keep that promise. It only helps them to make the move because then my coin would be gone and so would Zoe and her advantage. Then we could pick off nick Stef and Steven one by one. I've given this all I've got to not be voted off. Hopefully it works.

It looks like I may make it through another vote. I believe the plan is to split the votes 3-3 for Allison and I. My coin would cancel one out and Allison will go home. I did ask Lydia if she would change her vote to Zoe and then Zoe would go home with the advantage but she wasn't interested.

It's time for a blindside. Our 4 person alliance was planning on throwing an extra vote onto Allison in the hope Trevor would play whatever his stupid coin does. But this is going to piss off Nick if he's not in on the vote so I'm going to campaign for a Stef vote so we can get rid of the idol as opposed to just Allison. Both are viewed as goats even though they are both unaware of that fact. Either way we'll have to damage control with Nick. There could be a problem here though. I've been close with Nick since day 1 with the JackTar trio alliance. But he's a formidable player. He's gotten very close to Stef. But there is also this niggling inside me that says that going to the end with Lydia could just see me as runner up because she talks to everyone..a lot. I find it hard to get around to everyone. I feel in a bit of a pickle.

Ok I'm having a serious case of shut the fuck up and let me talk. These people are REALLY overestimating Stef. Like wtf? Why does a split vote always have to be dangerous. I feel like I'm following these moves consistently that are doing nothing for my game. It's getting beyond annoying and for the first time I feel just pissed off. I want to take control of my own game and my own faith. I don't want to get to the end and be that sucker that did nothing but sit there and look pretty. But I feel like it's drilling through a skull, peeping through the hole and seeing a huge fucking gap of nothingness.

Today has been too much of a day. I am running on three hours of sleep. I had a final exam today, which was obviously super fun. And now Lydia has this mastermind plan. Not that I don't appreciate her master plan. It's just I wish this was all brought up on an earlier date while i had clarity. I think this vote could change the course of this game. I also think this could be vote I could look back on and regret. Our six alliance spits our votes between Trevor and Allison, accounting for the mysterious coin. However, our four plans to take out Allison instead, and make it look like an accident. (Lydia has all these complex theories about why taking out allison is a better option than trevor, which i agree with, but i'm sure she's gone over it all in her confessionals and i'm too tired to elaborate) We wish NIck hadn't won immunity. It'd be so much easier if he had. But Stef has the idol. I'd feel much more comfortable getting her out when we have wiggle room to split the votes. We also hope she's gotten paranoid enough to play her idol tonight. We also hope Trevor will play his "mysterious motherfucking coin" and hopefully flush that as well. This is the ideal. If neither of them play it, I'll be much more nervous going forward. After this vote, they're all threats. Nick - immunity challenges. Stef - hidden immunity idol. Trevor - mysterious fucking coin. And if both stef and trevor still have theirs, i'll be a tough call for me. At least I have my Dan Foley advantage as fallback. But then again, how well did that work for him again?

I got Trevor to tell me what his silver coin does! And all i had to do was promise i wouldn't tell anybody!

of course I won't tell anybody because it turns out there is a 50% chance that Trevor will survive yet another tribal council and if he does he may become an asset to me so i need him to finally trust me. According to him it is basically a half-idol. he will flip a coin and have a 50% chance of nullifying all votes cast against him.Right now the alliance of 6 is thinking about splitting the votes anyway so if Trevor is successful Allison should be going home tonight. Thank God i have immunity tonight because i can't wait to see what happens!

I may have been a little cranky with that earlier confessional but I still believe we're messing around too much. I'm secretly positioning myself into a good place with Nick & hopefully Stef should I need a back up plan. Plus it's also great to have the idol on your side of the numbers. Time will tell.

Dang it man. I feel like such a fake shit. I'm discussing with Allison how I'm offering her an olive branch how I'd be willing to vote with her come next vote should we both survive knowing I wrote her name down. I'm just blatantly lying to her and I feel shit for that reason. These people are actually so nice and I feel crap that I haven't tried to get to know them. Like fuck sake why am I such an idiot. I've missed an opportunity to play hard in this game just because I've been comfortable. Just ugh. Sorry for the 39324 million confessionals today

Wow, I didn't see that coming. Honestly. I thought I trusted her more than that. I guess her word is tainted now. Good job with the #blindside. I honestly just want Trevor to win. He has played a better game than all of you. And someone on Florizel has to win. I'm glad I made jury:) Steven/Stef: YOU LOOK REALLY SUSPICIOUS WHEN YOU ONLY TALK TO SOMEONE RIGHT BEFORE VOTE. GG Trevor: You have to win this. I hope you choose not to trust her. This is the 3rd time she has done this. She will NEVER vote Zoe. Zoe: You are the luckiest person I have ever met. We should have voted you out the 2 chances we had to while you were on Florizel. You don't deserve to be Florizel, and you don't deserve to be here. I hope you don't make it to the end. You won't get anyone's vote. You're not even playing. ALSO: I sooooo hope not to see Zoe in the final three. Wow. I might cry if that happens! I mean, she won't get votes, she hasn't played enough of a game to get there. BUT don't let her get there. She doesn't deserve it. So, all in all, FUCK CAGUAYA. I loooved playing with you all though <3 any of you could win (except Zoe) and I would be happy (Though I would be most happy if Trevor won:P).

#confessions #gotnothingforyou

Episode 9 Confessions

Well well well. Look what we have here. It's me. Still in the game. I'm shocked they kept me. Will will be missed though. May he be remembered for his final words "eat my ass Nick"

Still feel bad about that Will vote. Never got to say adios or apologize to him since I think he really was taken by surprise. But I can't let that drag me down. I forget if I've already talked about us making a majority within the Caguaya majority. Wes, Zoe, Lydia & I have a foursome made which hopefully makes them feel so much more comfortable and will keep them from thinking that they are on the bottom with Adam & Allison's pleas. Trevor's pop at Zoe's gameplay practically confirms her to stick with us. I mean Trevor you shot yourself in the foot with her not wanting to align with you. Ever. For some reason he thanked me for directing the vote off him which I did do but for not the reasons he thought. It as precautionary in case they had an idol an obvious vote would've been Trevor in retaliation. Hoping I can win this next immunity just so I can feel safe. The new idol paranoia has set in. For some reason Stef sat out I'm not sure why when Lydia was getting the clue for us all anyway. I highly doubt Adam would find the idol with a 1/36 chance but you never know, so perhaps the best vote would be Allison when we go back to tribal if she doesn't win immunity. I think I've killed off all of my connection to the Florizel but if I keep them keen and don't be mean it could be enough for them to vote for me at the end. I'm not going to apologize for the game play but I won't rub it in their faces. They could be bitter, who knows?

Seriously? It hasn't even been 24 hours since the last tribal and it's already time to vote again. I need more time to come up with a plan to save myself. If we find the idol, no one is safe.

i wanna take a confessional to just address what happened last tribal. alternately titled, "who the hell does trevor think he is?" first some backstory: i think the original florizel are very bitter. a fair amount of the game is based on luck. believe me, if chrissa was sorted into florizel, she'd never have made merge. and caguaya has had a lot of luck behind them in this game. but luck isn't everything, i mean look at chrissa. they formed a tight bond and a powerful alliance, and that wasn't luck, that was game. i have had my fair share of unlucky as well as lucky moments in this game. but i wouldn't be here without some strategy involved. i wouldn't be here if i hadn't made the jump to caguaya, i wouldn't be here if the sneaky three had targeted me instead of bailey. i also wouldn't be here if i hadn't reached out to the members of my previous caguaya alliance and been so adamant about working with them post merge. as much as the sneaky three think i'm going home in 6th place, i'm not so sure. i could be wrong, they could be right, of course. but i think i have a better chance going to final three with caguaya members as opposed to florizel. so now, what happened at tribal. first of all, the vote against me. i'mma copy and paste here: Seventh vote: Zoe. you do not deserve to be here. Maybe you will take this as a sign to actually start playing the game. It’s a shame that I will be going home before you. my response, on the audio chat, was along the lines of "yes, luck is the /only/ reason i'm still in this game" (sarcasm implied) which is funny, why he'd think it'd be a wake up call. like the first 9 votes against me weren't any sort of wakeup call. here's the part where will gets voted out, with famous last words, that should go down in the tumblr survivor history books, "eat my ass will" thus led to the slightly blown out of proportion, "trevor and zoe spew vinegar at eachother on call" incident. it was only a few sentences. just him saying i wasn't playing the game, and i was just doing whatever caguaya told me. followed by my response, saying i make my own damn decisions in this game, thank you very much, and lydia chiming in to defend me, which was super nice <3 and then he complained that i wouldn't even talk to them (both he and will had messaged me about working together before the vote). i defended myself. i didn't want to respond bc i didn't want to hear what they had to say, i know they're sneaky and i didn't want them planting seeds in my head when i already have no interest whatsoever working with them. this concludes the "zoe and trevor spew vinegar at eachother on call" incident. lydia called me afterwards, to make sure i was okay (which i totally was, takes a lot more than that to emotionally compromise me), which was super sweet of her. also trevor messaged me to apologize, which i guess was nice of him too, from a human standpoint. from a game standpoint, like hell i'm ever working with him, not that i was going to before. for tomorrow's vote, we're not sure yet. we might split, we might just stay united, who knows. i don't care who we send home, as long as it's one of them. that being said, i'd love to have trevor out of my ear telling me what a "terrible game" i'm playing. this is the most stable place i've ever been in this game. i spent the entire premerge game living on the edge of going home, and i'm not giving that up now. and because it doesn't benefit trevor's game, he thinks it's bad gameplay, basically. eat my ass trevor

Why should nick get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so great about nick, hmm? I mean Adam is just as cute as nick and Adam is just as smart as Nick and people totally like Adam just as much as they like nick and when did it become ok for one person to be the boss of everyone? I mean that's not what survivor is about! We should totally just stab nick! Trevor Mac, has cracked.

My third hunt for the idol ends when Stef tells me that she has found the idol!

of course i am happy that someone i am closely aligned with has found it but damn i really wish it was finally me who got it! Since Lydia sat out of the immunity challenge in order to receive (and then share with us) an idol clue, Stef couldn't really keep her idol a secret because if our alliance never found it they would either get suspicious or panic that the other alliance has it. so now all 6 of us know that Stef has the idol. Right now the decision SHOULD be easy and we should just vote out Trevor! He is the only one who has made a really big move in this game and in my book that makes him worthy of winning if he gets to the finals! However, Lydia is now suggesting voting out Adam. I don't want to believe that she has a thing with Trevor but this is the second time she has been the main person to shift the attention off of him. . . . we'll see what happens next but I have my eye on her.

So the F4 alliance has assembled with the only hitch being that Stef found the idol. That should be easily dealt with though in that we can blindside her out at F7 when our majority cannot be beaten. I'm happy to see a picture coming together of where my ending will be and I feel I could be able to in a Final 4 situation to pit Lydia & Wes against each other and sneak my way into the final 3. I'm still trying to talk to the Florizel people to show them I actually exist so they will know a little about me if I make the end of the game. No one will reward me with their vote if all I've said is hi & bye. Most of them seem to see Zoe as a sack of potatoes. Now that we can give the middle finger to idol paranoia the vote should be simple tonight. We ain't falling for your crap at challenges move Adam and you gotta go.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 8 Confessions

sneaky little bitches

I’m so fucking depressed right now… out of everyone to get fucked over why did it have to be Rachel? :/ …and now our trio is down to two… I can’t really do this to my tribe, but let the record show: I fucking told them so. honestly we could have flipped the vote to Will if they didn’t vote like last night??????? I hope this doesn’t happen again my heart can’t take it… Lydia is the strongest alliance i have right now so we need to get something going but idk i just don’t want to think about this shit right now ugh

Well the plan worked. Rachel went home. Everyone sees me as a villain now. What was I supposed to do? WERE THE UNDERDOGS!!! We just took out the power player. Hopefully someone sees it that way. I'm likely next to go. Hopefully someone has some tricks up their sleeve still.

NO! They got Rachel out with an idol in her pocket! This sucks! She was such a good competitor but she feel for Trevor's plan and we all got blindsided! This is also extremely bad for my game seeing as Rachel was my #1 ally and she was holding the idol that i gave her the clue for! The only good news is that both idols are now out and my alliance is fired up! The reward challenge happens and i give all 8 of my coins to Trevor in order to ensure that he busts, and somehow I end up in a tie with Zoe for the win! I bring Stef along in the hope that we will receive yet another idol clue and that the advantage will put me ahead in the immunity challenge!

That vote. Holy shit. I mean I know I wanted Rachel gone eventually because she is a massive threat but the way Trevor manipulated her is ouch. She didn't deserve it but I'm sure she understands it's the game. On the plus side the tribal got 2 idols out of the way. Trevor used his and Rachel went home with one. Maybe people will finally stop panicking about the idols. I just hope that the blindside doesn't cause people to panic and start jumping ship. I know I still want us to move forward as a unit but for gods sake can we please not talk to these people about the game play? It would not be advantageous for any of us to flip right now. The game is going to get a lot more messy now and for people to respect my game I think I will need at least one move, even though I feel this really could be a Caguaya vs Florizel vote at the end. For this reason I think I would need to go to the end with possibly Stef on my side and maybe even Adam from Florizel. Nobody thinks he's playing a good game and he seemed so smug with the vote. All I know is I was glad I had immunity for that last vote.

whew okay so i tried making like 16 video confessions but whatever they didn't work. tonight went exactly according to plan. rachel had so much control over everyone in the game, and getting rid of the glue that holds them together was the first step in taking back the game. i don't know if rachel actually had an idol, i think it's possible she's covering for someone. im kind of irritated with the old florizel because they don't know how to fucking plan for the future. "oh we'll get rachel out now and then we'll figure it out, im sure we can get lydia back." like no, lydia and rachel were very obviously aligned, we need a different plan. we need to be able to pull in numbers and take control. as much as i like trevor i dont want him getting far, and i dont think he will. whatever i wanna win bye

So I didn't win immunity. It looks like I will probably go home unless something crazy happens. It's time to start trying to convince people there's bigger threats. I don't want this to be my last confession. I have asked Lydia to stick with me and I am being honest when I said she can trust me. We'll see. Will I live to see Day 29?

This is like the hundredth time I've gotten the SECOND best score in the game. so frustrating!

Looks like this vote is going to be either Will or Adam. I personally want to keep Will around because I like him a lot and I don't want to go weeks without talking to him. Lydia feels Will is more of a threat but I kind of want Adam out even though he has flopped this season. He seems like a total goat. I'm afraid people are not going to respect my game, but I need to just keep in contact with them all. Lydia has suggested a final 4 of Wes, Zoe, herself and myself. This would work for me but I think I would have to go to the end with possibly Wes to stand a chance, unless people really do not respect Zoe. My fear with this alliance is that Lydia might cut me off and go to a potential f2 against Zoe which she would walk. She's a great player, a great ally, but also a great threat. I'm somewhat glad Rachel is out so I can pick Lydia's brain more. I miss Rachel's awesome personality and life she brought but she was a threat!

I have to admit Trevor's stunt at tribal totally got me and my alliance. so right now my feeling towards him are:

But Lydia is selling me and my alliance on the idea of getting rid of Will right now. She makes some good points so i honestly won't have a problem with it as long as my entire alliance is behind the idea. We need to eliminate all of them at some point so the order in which we do it doesn't seem important to me at this point. In other news i am officially on my 3rd hunt for the idol! After Rachel leaving i thought i was fucked but i won reward immediately after and decided to bring Stef again. i confessed to her that i had shared my last clue with Rachel and explained what happened. this paid off in a big way because at reward Stef was the only one to receive an idol clue and she shared it with me!

Here's hoping that 3rd time's the charm!!

My final words… I have to say that I think I was put on the wrong tribe at the beginning of the game. Rachel and I have talked a ton since my elimination and both of us would have made it further had I been a member of caguaya. If she had just added me to the fucking CHAT I would have trusted her and told her they were fucking voting for her and she could have played her idol and we all could have moved forward and gotten FURTHER but w/e. Don’t get me wrong, I love everyone from Florizel, but I would have made it way further if I was on Caguaya. I think that Trevor fucked my game a little when talking to Rachel. “Will told me you’re trustworthy” like why????? You gave away that we were still working together post merge and gave Rachel so many red flags. I wanted to work with Rachel and Lydia and one of my main flaws was not talking to Lydia like what was I doing I want Lydia to win. I think she’s in a good position, and I respect that she’s kept in touch with people on the bottom, just in case it was necessary for her to flip. Lydia has her bases covered and her shit together. She has my vote if she’s in the end. It HURTS ME that players like Zoe and Stef who really haven’t done anything (im sure youre great people just what are you doing gamewise…) are getting further than me. One thing that irritated me so much was that Zoe completely ignored my messages. I gave her so much shit to consider and she didn’t even give me the time of day. I felt disrespected as a player, like at least hear me out. In a real survivor situation you wouldn’t just fucking walk away from me without saying anything after I point out like 600 things that you could consider. She lost my vote 100% if she’s sitting in the end against anyone. I literally told her everything caguaya said about her. That they think she’s easily manipulated, that they’re going to drop her anywhere along the way when they didn’t need her anymore, etc. And yet she continues to vote with them. I don’t get her game, and I won’t be surprised if she doesn’t make it to the end at all. I was planning on working with her if she flipped, and actually taking her to the end lmao bye. Also Trevor wyd voting for zoe at tribal like you know girl isn’t going anywhere and somewhere down the line you’re going to need to use her as a number if you want any chance of staying in the game. Rachel and I were just like what the fuck?? I also really didn’t understand why Steven would tell me “oh I want you as my number 1” and then proceed to not tell me anything at all. Same w Rachel and Lydia. No one told me about the Chrissa vote, no one told me about rachel’s idol, no one told me I was the one leaving???? You don’t tell me you want to work w me then not give me any info or add me to any chats and then expect me to vote with you lmao. I wish they would have trusted me a little more, but it’s a little late now. [2015-06-18 5:34:12 PM] will: has my name come up at all? [2015-06-18 5:34:23 PM] will: bc if not then I don't really care who leaves [2015-06-18 5:34:56 PM] Steven: well I could say no or I could say they have all been dished out [2015-06-18 5:35:09 PM] will: okay [2015-06-18 5:35:10 PM] Steven: you get me [2015-06-18 5:35:30 PM] Steven: of course if it was to land on you i'd be pushing it off Did u push it off steven? Did you know it was me the whole time? I like when people are real with me, which is why I like Lydia. She didn’t give me any false hope after the Rachel vote. She was v clear about the fact that she didn’t trust me and I respect that so much. Final thoughts are that I want to be on a season when I wasn’t sick and doing finals and where my fucking mic was working so my countless confessionals were usable. go lydia

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 7 Confessions

Wow. I'm still here. Rachel is running this game 155,000%. She reminds me of Kim Spadlin. It seems like she has made a personal connection with every player here. Everyone goes to Rachel when it's time to vote to find out what the plan is. If she makes it to the end I would vote for her to win. Which is why she can't make it.

I think that this game is going to be my test run to see how fast I get voted out after I do all the shit I'm against in the real Survivor. I mean, I'm about to be the biggest hypocrite ever y'all are gonna be like lol Rachel got voted off because she not only told someone about her idol, she told three fucking people like a fucking idiot and it got her ass voted out #bye

For every person that you tell about your immunity idol you destroy it's power more and more. I've now told three people and I hate myself but I feel so much better morally lolol I'm getting all my moral emotional playing out now so when I play the real Survivor I can be the ruthless bitch I've always meant to be.

Will is such a fucking threat omfg everyone loves him and I feel like I’m the only one that sees that he’s gonna be the reason our alliance breaks up unless we do something to stop it. (It’d be fine if he was coming to me, like Adam, but he doesn’t so he needs to GO) but no one wants to. At least we got everyone to agree that an “obvious” vote like Adam is not a good play right now.

Oh man this has been crazy. I can't even explain how happy I am that I was put in Caguaya to begin with. Everyone is so awesome and between the 6 of us now we are stronger than ever. Since the merge the others have been trying to break us but we just tell each other everything, which is how we find out that they are trying to pull this on ask of us. But we're still strong. They better watch out ;)

And I survived the merge vote. Yay! Looks like I'm in a decent position of not being too threatening but then again I am not playing as strong as I would like to be either. I wanted Chrissa to stay and Nick & I tried to push to keep her. They are so scared about an idol that mightn't even exist. I think eventually for people to think I am playing and have played a good game I will have to orchestrate a move to take out one of my own alliance which I think would have to be Rachel. She's won both individual immunities that she could and is extremely lovable. For her to get to the end would be an awful move. I think that with the right amount of people in the game the move would be on. It depends on how much I fully trust my strongest allies. They might want to take me out for even suggesting breaking the 6 up before final 6. At the same time it would crush me if I made the move that lead to Florizel originals make the final 2 or 3. If I can't win I'd want one of my friends to win. Sometimes my heart gets in the way of things my brain tells me to do but I think I'd rather leave the game with friends than have made none. Then again they could respect the move?! Sigh it's tough to know. I do not want to become a goat because that would be a tragedy.

Next time on, Survivor: Rachel tells her entire tribe she found a hidden immunity idol. Let's see how long it takes for her to be voted out with it metaphorically in her pocket!

Steven get yo fucking footage in bro ur killin me

I have been thinking about what is going to happen when we start having to vote each other out from our alliance. We have the numbers right now but soon we won't have a choice abd that terrifies me! I like them all too much and I feel like if nothing else we will all be friends after this... but I'll probably be one of the first to go. I'm just glad I've made it this far...

Omg I won immunity wtf? I'm really happy right now! More word searches please even if they are from hell! It feels awesome to be 100% secure with nothing to worry about going into tribal even if I am in the majority alliance. It's now all a debate to see which person we're sending home. The talk is all about Adam and the infamous ghost idol. Does it exist? I don't think so and I really just want to send him home. Nothing against him but I've tried to talk to him and he hasn't really warmed to me. If I make it to the end I don't want someone to say "oh you never talked to me" sitting on the jury so you're as well to go home before it begins. I mean even if he has the idol I ain't going home so I want him gone and if he played it then maybe one of the threats in my own alliance will go and we'll still have a majority. I think it is time we take the risk and go for it. Better to try it than be too little too late further down the line.

HERE LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT MY GODDAMN MORNING OK: SO I WAKE UP AND CHECK MY FUCKING ALLIANCE CHAT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND I I SWEAR TO GOD THERE ARE LIKE 500 MESSAGES AND PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT SPLITTING THE FUCKING VOTE AGAIN WHICH WE TALKED ABOUT LAST NIGHT AND DECIDED WASN’T A GOOD IDEA BECAUSE WE CAN’T DO IT SAFELY WITHOUT INCLUDING A FLORIZEL MEMBER. SO WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS? THEY START GOING FOR IT AGAIN AND I SWEAR TO GOD IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG TONIGHT I’M GOING TO BE LIVID

This people aren't willing to make a move and it's super irritating. I get wanting to play it safe but this is Survivor. Hopefully, if I'm still here, the next vote will be way more fun. Nick and I really want to make a move but I don't want to piss anyone off unless I will still have numbers. #irritationlevel500

Why is this vote being made so difficult? It's like a fucking ping pong ball a bouncing around in a square from Allison to Will to Adam to Trevor like holy crap we have a majority just pick one and stick with it. We don't need to do any of this fanciful vote splitting trash. I just want to singe my skull. The fact they are all all over the place is super worrying for me because I just want to have something clear cut and simple. Done and dusted move on deal with it again in a few days. It's beyond crazy. The different things people are saying here and there I'm just like "oh is that so" "oh ok thanks for telling me who you're talking to". I get that you are strategizing with everyone but you ain't supposed to tell it out loud. It's worrying and makes me trust you less! Lydia came to me and told me that Will told her that he has the idol. Now I've talked to Will a lot and he's told me jack shit about an idol. So either he trust Lydia more, is stirring up a whole bowl of lies or actually has an idol. I don't trust him as much anymore but Lydia & I are going to keep it to ourselves. I need to start talking to everyone more often because if it's going to come down to a whingy "oh you never talked to me" well I'm not gonna deal with it. It's a long way to go and the crazy is starting to set in. If I can just keep my sanity I know I can strike at the right time and get myself to the end but right now my brain is so exhausted.

This is so fucking irritating this split in theory is so easy and yet we have people against it. At this point I wouldn't be surprised to see my name who knows maybe I'll get voted off with an idol in my pocket what a legend

So the plan tonight is to blindside Rachel. She thinks were splitting the votes between Adam and Allison with 5 on Allison and 4 on Adam. But what she doesn't know is I am going to play my idol on Allison and myself, Adam , Will, and Allison will vote for Rachel. Even if this works we will still be down in the numbers but the biggest power player will be gone. You got to risk it to get the biscuit ;)

This is my first tribal council without immunity and it has proven that I am a fuckin pansy...I have now convinced myself that Lydia and Wes have launched a brigade against me because I have an idol and do well in challenges. They're my number ones and have no real reason to get rid of me plus I trust them so I really need to pull myself together. I'm a paranoid little shit and that wont fly with real Survivor

The idol is the talk of the town now. I think Adam has it. But that is bc of my info on idol clues and such, having received one, but i don't necessarily want everyone to know that. We can't split the votes yet, we have to wait until next tribal to have the numbers to do that. But some of us seem to be antsy and impatient. The plan, apparently, was to take out allison. nick says three people have already voted for her. but now there's intel she has an idol, which is in all likelyhood bs. nick's plan is he and rachel also vote allison, and trevor will vote for adam, making it 5-3-3. one of those threes being adam. the other, maybe for me, maybe for nick, maybe for others. best case scenarios: either allison doesn't have/play an idol, and she goes home. or, allison plays the idol, trevor votes with us, adam goes home. (actually, this is the best case scenario, considering i consider adam a bigger threat and it'd flush an idol) worst case scenario: trevor and the gang and playing a hardcore level game. like, russell playing the idol for parvati and taking out tyson. and trevor is sneaky, and he very well could be to us. i can just hope that he works with us and/or they're voting for a bigger threat in my alliance. we'll see. i hope for the best

If Allison has an idol and one of our own gets voted out after I pushed so hard for a split vote I will eat that rock that Francesca abandoned

Rachel found the hidden immunity idol! I'm psyched but i wish it was me. She says that she would use it on me if we ever needed to, and i do believe her but of course it would be more comforting to have all the control over it.

Adam just messaged me "no matter what happens tonight, no hard feelings" and now I feel like I'm definitely going to see my name. Fuckkkkk I am more paranoid than fucking Chase Rice

Cause of heart attack: Adam wishing me good luck right before a tribal when I don't have immunity and I have no fUCKING IDEA WHAT'S GONNA ACTUALLY HAPPEN

Here's the thing y'all. Lydia can tell you I am one paranoid motherfucker. The second Trevor approached me that first day of the merge and told me Will said he could trust me, I was suspicious that those two were gunning for me. I gave them the benefit of the doubt...oops. I was on the fence about trusting anyone-except Lydia and Wes-basically the whole time I was playing. I don't know if anyone will believe me, but I had a strong ass feeling it was me tonight (ask Lydia...and Trevor...and Will...and Nick...and Wes...they all can tell you what a paranoid pansy I am). I wanted, desperately, to split the vote. None of us trusted Trevor's screenshot of Allison claiming to have the idol, though it was an interesting strategy. We figured the four of them had one, but thought it was probably Adam who everyone would save, not her. I tried to keep Trevor guessing at who would get the most votes so he wouldn't know who should play the idol but evidently failed so good play from Trevor! Had we split the vote at least it would have been a 4-4-3 tie. Gotta say, though I was paranoid the whole time, I didn't know my fate was sealed until like fifteen minutes before tribal. Then, I didn't make a decision fast enough to play my fuckin idol #indecisivepansy. When Will told me that he was nervous about tonight and "hoped everything went right" that sent off red flags. So did Adam when he said "good luck tonight, rachel, and no hard feelings". No hard feelings is right, bro. I'm not even mad because honestly I saw it coming. I thought maybe we'd be lucky and an idol would be played in vain. I guess that's why I was hesitant to play mine and show my alliance that I had been keeping it from them, but as soon as Trevor played it for Allison I was like well, bye everyone! What have I learned? When I play real Survivor, I need to channel the inner bitch I know is inside of me. My main problem was trying to please everyone. I never wanted to just lie. I always tip toed around it. For example, I tried to keep Trevor guessing at who was going home. I never gave him a name flat out because rightfully, I didn't fully trust him, but I should have just straight up lied like he did. Would've been safer but I let my guilt ridden, moral self take control. That my friends, is not good Survivor play. Overall, this has been so much fun and I'm grateful to have been able to meet everyone! No hard feelings at all! I made the jury which is amazing and also, now I can watch my shows without Skype notifications every tEN FUCKING SECONDS. I wish the best to Lydia and Wes and Nick (and the rest of Caguaya of course). But, hopefully they'll be the final three. Fingers crossed.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 6 Confessions

Tonight was nuFlorizel's first tribal council and freaking Bailey got voted out?! Not what I was expecting. I was really nervous about Wes but now I'm nervous for a whole different reason. I think he may have voted Bailey only to save his own skin but it's still nerve-racking that maybe he's considering sticking with Adam who is another returnee. ALSO Chrissa made it clear she loves her new tribe. Thanks, girl.

Florizel's tribal was pretty shocking. They voted out one of their best challenge competitors! It also looks like Wes probably voted out Bailey and even though he probably only did it to save himself it still makes me feel uneasy about trusting him when we meet again after the merge. Right now I am just praying that the merge does not happen until there are only 10 people left, because my tribe is incredibly good at challenges and they still have a pretty weak competitor on their side. Also, Rachel and I still have not found that damn idol! We have searched over 60% of the map already!!! I am beginning to doubt it even exists. . .

Fuck

The Tribes merged and the idols RESET?! Fuck my life!!

So we finally merged which is super exciting. But, I've been told by multiple people that I'm so nice and friendly and liked by everyone and that's great, but I've also not been hiding my eagerness and success in doing well in the challenges. This means one thing for me at a merge: I'm fucked.

Ok wow we merged. I'm kind of excited and scared at the same time but I'm definitely more aware to what is happening. It was decided that the new tribe name would be Sparrow which is fine by me. I don't know if I should just stick to my 6 person alliance from Caguaya because it totally seems clear that I'm not one of the biggest personalities and my social game alone might not be enough to win this game. I'm still placing my trust in Lydia and I'm glad Nick still wants to work with me per his messages. I want to keep Stef in the game because she's quiet and maybe not as daring as the likes of Rachel & Will, and I like her! I'm going to try to check in with most of the people on the other tribe to see where they are at, see if I can figure out which votes went where last tribal. I feel there is a 5 person alliance who split their vote last second to take out Bailey. It was a ballsy move because if they didn't get the merge they were expecting they were fucked. It was a risk and it paid off. For now! I think it's going to be hard for me to win if I sit back, but I don't want to come across as jumping at the first chance at bait dangled in from of me. I'd prefer to be doing the dangling. Maybe I can mooch into a silent assassin position. Once we can get out the big threats from Flopizel like Adam & Trevor I might expose myself to more ideas. I definitely think that Adam should not be the first target as it seems like an obvious Survivor move. And he potentially has that idol, because Zoe totally would've played it last tribal if she had it, and well Bailey is sitting on a premerge holiday. Idols are a little worrying but I'm not going to give to much time to them. Just gotta play like they ain't here!

OH MY GOD I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M HERE AND WE ACTUALLY MERGED EARLIER THAN I THOUGHT SAM WOULD EVER LET US AND I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED THAT THREAT LEVEL MIDNIGHT LIVES TO SEE ANOTHER DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Honestly, the way they blindsided Bailey was pretty impressive and all but in the end Bailey was a liability for us and they only helped us / me out in the long run. I’m pretty fucking pissed Adam didn’t let me in on the truth and he’s already backpedaling and trying to win me over and I don’t really know how to respond to it right now so I’m gonna leave him be. Got to talk to Chrissa a bunch over the swap and it seems like her obsession with getting Zoe out is not gonna stop so honestly we need to resolve this thing before it causes problems and honestly Chrissa likes Adam way too much and it’s definitely not giving her points. Idol paranoia is at an all time high and the Florizels are not in a good place so we need to bait it out ASAP and get that taken care of.

This first reward challenge is really gonna be telling. I'm nervous to see who picks whom to go on the reward but at the same time, I think I have a good chance of being picked by whomever wins. Trevor and Will apparently want to keep me close and think I'm the most trustworthy. Lydia and I have been together since day one. Nick might not pick me because he doesn't want people to know how close we are. But Stef might. And Allison and I talked a lot last night so she may. I don't know about Chrissa or Zoe. Honestly, I don't know if I want to go on the reward. You miss a lot back at camp. Besides, if Nick or Lydia wins I'm sure they'll tell me if they find a clue.

Yay tea! Chrissa legit poured everything all over the place to me so I know exactly where each vote went in that crazy tribal. She knew about the Bailey vote and totally wants Zoe out. At the same time she has exposed to me by the way she has spoken that she is loyal to Adam and at least thinks that the loyalty is mutual, not that I'm entirely sure it is. Of course I thrashed out this info with Lydia and I think it is time to drop ties with Chrissa (for now) and try to get Zoe into an alliance...some challenge that will be. Talking to Zoe is so hard. She just gives these 1 word answers. She's like cardboard, dry, bland and recyclable. Same things over and over. Nothing beyond monotone. I wish she would come out of her shell and play the frickin' game. She is legitimately aligned with NO ONE so hello I am throwing a lifevest right at your face can you grab it?!?! I guess I'll try more because I don't want to come across as too suggestive of needing her to get through this vote. Even her throwing her vote wildly is enough to get the majority. I'm keeping up to date with Nick because we all need more than 1 alliance so we know we have a tie with Chrissa so keeping her in the game in the long run could be beneficial for us. The other Florizels are so quiet I don't want to talk to them in case they feel awkward. It's just like they are lost souls who whimper now and again. Yawn.

The people from Caguaya talk sooooo much.

I won the reward challenge? Little old me with my hand-drawn flag?

I am excited to take the first individual reward win but I totally wasn't expecting it and now suddenly I am on reward with the two people i picked: Chrissa and Stef. I hope this doesn't put a target on my back, but i now have a 10% advantage in the immunity challenge and i only have to beat the 5 other guys since there is a male and female winner for this challenge! Chrissa is on reward with me because even with the advantage i don't think she is a threat to beat anyone in my alliance. I have never spoken to Stef one-on-one but I chose her because I believe she is truly loyal to our alliance with Rachel, Lydia, Steven, and Wes. I also didn't want to take Rachel or Steven because i want to downplay my relationships with them

With this first individual immunity challenge since the merge, I know that I should lay low and try to just end up with a score somewhere in the middle. But, I can't just not try?! I want to win. I know that's stupid and it will make me a threat but I'd rather be voted off for being a challenge threat than be voted off because I was blindsided and didn't have immunity because I didn't try my best to earn it.

Omg I've been talking to Will so much recently and he's an amazing person. Shockingly we've similar interests and I'm hoping he's willing to be my #1. I need more alliances and if I feel my 6 has me at the bottom I need enough numbers to make a move and take them down. I mean I'm not going to just settle for 6th. Tough tits I'm playing my own game and if it means I eventually have to cut you out then I'll sign you into ponderosa in advance. I'm kind of pissed off with my 6 person alliance too because they want to take out Chrissa. CHRISSA. C H R I S S A! Like seriously?! Take out one of the other Florizels in case Adam plays an idol. He might not even have the idol. Nick & I tried to push for a change of idea but it didn't seem to go down which kind of makes me worry a bit that there is a tight trio in that 6 at least which is not ok. I'll play the waiting game if that's what I've gotta do.

In really starting to connect with Rachel and Lydia. They're both super nice. I wouldn't mind working with them down the line. Number one goal right now is still to get rid of Zoe. How is she even still here? Will wants the idol back. Which I know I said he can have it but it's sort of like the ring from the Lord of the Rings. I feel so powerful when I have it lol.

hi sam, i know you told me to do this yesterday, and i didn't, so sorry mom. but here's where my heads at in the game. i'm aligning myself with my alliance from caguaya. sure, they lied to me about blindsiding chris, but who hasn't lied to me up to this point? they're friendlier than florizel, and the florizel alliance is so shady and conniving and they took out my strongest alliance in the game, so i don't think i can ever work with them. that might be a bad game move, but so be it. lydia, rachel and nick have all reached out to pull me in, and if i'm cochran-ing it, i'm cochran-ing it. it is my hope that chrissa is going home tomorrow. however, i acknowledge that has been my hope twice before, yet, she's still here. I've been told by Lydia that they'll take out chrissa, and i have no choice, really, but to trust them. Moving forward, i have two goals: 1) make it to jury. 2) make it farther than chrissa.

I very well, as always, could be going home tonight. I'm used to it. I'm resigned to the fact i could be going home at any moment, it's the state in which i've played most of this game. I'm voting for chrissa. and i'm hoping caguaya is telling the truth and voting with me. it's not down to who i trust, but who i distrust less. and its down to following my gut and going with the people who make me feel welcome. Here's to hoping i'll still be here after tonight!

I am now lying to sweet, friendly Trevor about the vote, my two closest allies about not only having the clue to the idol, but having the fucking idol itself, and I am lying to Nick, kind, trustworthy Nick without whom I would not have found the idol in the first place. I am disgusted omfg I'm so fucking fake I hate myself BYE

I'm really worried I'm going home tonight and I don't want to have to play my idol. We don't have enough people on our side right now to pull off a blindside like we did with Bailey. In hoping everyone sticks to the plan and votes off Zoe.

Guess what has two thumbs and just committed one of her biggest Survivor pet peeves....THIS GIRRRRLLLLL. I just told Lydia I have an idol. What the fuck. I feel like it was a good thing to do, does that mean it was a smart thing to do? Fuck no that shit was stupid as fuck bye

This tribal council already sucks. I can't handle the truth.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 5 Confessions

Wow! I am shocked that Will did not play the idol. I'm glad he didn't though. Hopefully he sticks true to his word and gives it to me if we lose immunity. Getting the idol back will allow the plan to vote out Adam get back into action

so, like, in big brother canada, (which i've only seen, like, three episodes of), there's this scene where all these girls are hanging out near the bathroom and they're talking about making an all girls alliance and targetting kevin, but it turns out kevin was taking a shit and heard everything and basically all those girls are gone now. chrissa is kevin. and i am a massive idiot. i just... fuck, i'm just not good at this game. ya know, i was ready to work with chrissa, too. but she too busy batting her eyes at adam, so. i swear she only signed up to play this season bc adam was in it, i swear. like, back when we were on caguaya, she was asking me to introduce them, and basically said she was playing this game bc of him. ok. so maybe i'm bitter. bc i was willing to play with her, and i was defending her and saying not to vote for her even though she pulls us down in challenges, and then she pulling my name out behind my back for no fucking reason?? idk man, i just wanna tell her to mind her own damn business. she's just adam's lap dog in my eyes at this point. i don't wanna bring my alliances down. if they have to turn on me, i understand but also fucking trevor acting like he's my godsend and shit like i wasn't playing him as much as he was playing me and he was carrying me through this game. "You were set for final four" yeah right like i even knew that for sure you could've been playing me for all i know i didn't trust you that much anyway, i knew you were taking what i said over to adam and chrissa. okay, i'll probably regret saying some of this later, but i'm annoyed and bitter both at them and myself. i know i fucked up, but i'm trying my best. doesn't mean i won't be relieved when i'm out.

Does Zoe know what she is doing? She just screwed herself over by copying what I said to her about voting out Adam into the tribe chat. Welcome back to the bottom Zoe! I knew we should have voted your ass out first.

This goddamn hidden immmunity idol is so elusive! Rachel and i have been checking different locations ever since I got the clue days ago and we still have no found it! Luckily I did not end up needed it at the new caguaya's first tribal, but i did receive two votes from the old florizel members. I know that it doesn't mean much but I was hoping those two would vote for each other instead. Even if you don't go home it is never good for your name to be written down! Right now my team is doing really well on the reward puzzle and it looks like we will win for sure (Chrissa posted an incomplete puzzle so. . . .) And my tribe came to the decision to kidnap Bailey if we win. My biggest fear now is that if bailey is given a hidden idol clue during the kidnapping and shares it with someone besides myself or Rachel. I really do not want any more competition to find that stupid thing!!

So glad Lydia decided in the end not to make the move so the boat is not rocked. Sad to see him go but that's the game. It doesn't care so tough tits you're out. We're currently rocking the reward challenge. But I'm like why are you guys showing you are challenge beasts? Ya'll are totally looking like massive fucking targets at the merge, and I can just sit in the background flopping here and there. Everyone needs to stop exposing how strategic they are premerge. I'm totally holding back right now. I don't want anyone to know my plans or motives further down the line. That's when the fun will begin. It's when I hope to come out fighting with moves people can see.

Lydia and I are starting to lose it a little bit and it's so obvious! We really are thinking we should've chosen to kidnap Wes in case he would have had the option to mutiny. But we were worried that if he didn't have that option then kidnapping him would make him a target once he got back to Florizel. We chose Bailey, instead. She keeps talking about keeping Caguaya strong but she was out of the loop for the Chris blindside and, despite explaining why, that's a good reason to feel like you should flip.

they didn’t kidnap me even when i threw the puzzle so obviously please bury me under an open sky with trees all around me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3vSRzkG82U

The tribe swap is interesting. I was surprised that they picked me, but I think it's because they want to make sure that I'm still on their side after not being aware about the Chris vote. I'm still not entirely sure what to think, and I hope that I can trust them later in the game. But I know that they were the tightest before the tribe swap, and so they've probably only bonded even more since then. We'll see what happens.

So I decided to not mutiny and to give the idol clue to Lydia. I thought about giving it to Will to shake things up and see if he can make it through the next tribal council, and part of me still wishes I had. But Lydia kept asking me about the idol clue and so I felt like she might figure out that I had the opportunity to give it to one of the original Caguaya members and didn't. I'm still not sure who to trust - Caguaya members or Florizel. I feel pretty in between at the moment. I think I'm good for the next one or two tribal councils, but definitely not sure after that.

Woop no tribal council. I feel kind of floppy for sitting out but yolo the tribe still rocked it. Just gonna sit back and relax. I think I'll have to eventually get on skype call so they get to know me a bit more but just doesnt suit right now. All of these guys are awesome so I hope we can stick it out together all the way to the end.

If things go the way i think they're supposed to, Chrissa will go home. Apparently, it's me, Bailey, Trevor and Allison. Chrissa's just been holding the team back. I think she's grating on everyone's nerves, definitely is on mine. For the reward challenge, she wanted to sit out (as she always does), and when Allison sat out instead, she basically through a hissy fit and submit an incomplete, basically guaranteeing we'd loose. Unsurprisingly, the rest of the tribe was less than pleased with this, and Chrissa was acting like this "attack" was so unwarranted. I have an exam in two days i have been studying every single day for, yet i still find the time to put some effort into the challenge so? she didn't even try. And then, after the backlash, she goes and actually puts the effort in and submits a score, and everyone's like "good job chrissa!!!!" like why should she get a pat on the back for doing what we're all doing?? that being said, i'm hoping her hissy fits are taking the heat off of me after my royal fuck up in the group chat. I could be going home tonight. They could all be lying to me, and I'm the one who's going home. In that case, I understand. I did fuck up, and i respect that decision. I can own that. The only person I'd feel at all betrayed by is Bailey, but even if, I'd understand, and I'll root for her for the rest of the game. But if it is me, I'm not sure if there's anything i can do. If it's me, it's me. I can just hope that it won't be. I hope Trevor and especially Bailey can see I am an alliance and a vote for them and I will stay loyal. So we'll see what happens tonight^^~

Adam chose Chrissa first and Bailey confirmed our fear which was that he did that knowing he could sway Chrissa. Apparently she's a really big fan and so I feel like he'll be able to get her to vote with him. We're hoping since she's friends with Will that he will be able to pull her in. BUT Lydia and I are suddenly super suspicious that Adam didn't pick Will on purpose...that Will is his number one and they took this risk by putting Will on our tribe because Will has an idol. Whether or not it's Adam's idol from the clue he got from being captain is another story. Or maybe Will is telling the truth about one being sent to him after Zoe mutinied. That would mean Will probably was on the bottom with her but who the hell knows.

I'm glad that Nick decided to trust me with the information about the hidden immunity idol, but honestly I'm starting to think that he found it and has been lying. Maybe it's just my complete lack of patience speaking but we've guessed like 20 places by now and like I don't know how we've been so unlucky. It's making me suspicious.

I just shared the idol clue that Nick gave me with Lydia. Like, I feel sleazy as shit. I keep telling myself that as long as Nick doesn't find out then this is a good ass plan because he trusted me enough to share it with me (I'm such an asshole) and Lydia trusts me because we're each others' number ones in this game. But that doesn't make me feel any better about betraying Nick. If he finds out I'm hella screwed.

I feel like Maria from West Side Story. I feel shitty oh so shitty.

One of the stupidest things to do on Survivor is share an idol with someone. Oops. I'm nervous that Lydia will find it before me or Nick just because we've already narrowed it down so much. It's not that I don't want to share it with Lydia, it's that I'll feel even worse if it's her who finds it because what am I going to tell Nick?

My biggest hope right now in this game is that Will is not lying to me. He is super nice and so awesome and yet still there's this thought in the back of my head that says he's gonna tell Adam everything.

aaaaand we’re going to tribal. It’s been nice knowing everyone. Wish I could have mutinied back over to my fam… [side eyes Nick H] It’s just so fucking frustrating how helpless I feel right now because I’ve been doing such a good job integrating myself exactly where I wanted to be in my tribe and now it just feels like my game is fucked and I’m fucked and all I can do is rely on the fact that I know Adam and have a friendship with him and cross my fingers.

Bailey fucking turned on me I am so mad especially cause she claims I would do whatever adam says, well maybe now I will that i can trust him, I apparently can't trust the one person from my original tribe, I wasn't voting for Adam I vote for who I know is targeting me I wasn't aware Bailey was so now I am screwed over again having voted Zoe again. Who is also targeting me, I am so pissed of by this choppy game play. I would not have targeted bailey just cause adam told me too, I'd need a reason to target Bailey.

The vote tonight has changed from Adam to Zoe to Chrissa to Wes and had settled on Bailey. The one person the alliance of me Adam and Allison can agree on. She's super nice and I feel bad for betraying her trust but she is a little too nice and a little too good at challenges.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 4 Confessions

Holy shit that was brutal. I don't know how they do this is real life like I could barely handle it over voice call. I'm glad that everyone stuck to their word...I knew I would feel bad and I do, but it was the best for our game and it had to happen. Chris is such a smart guy and he could have gone super far come the merge.

I want to know who the fucking fake was, who voted for me with Chris, I hope they were just afraid of Chris, and so they voted with him, cause I feel unsafe with this vote and I just want honesty on who it is.

wow. i mean, i'm honesty floored. at least it wasn't me, i guess. i feel like i owe chris, he brought me into a new alliance and that was ultimately what made him a target. at least i have the penalty against me cleared, i feel so stupid! will i ever go to a tribal where what i think's gonna happen actually happens?? and steven was playing me the whole time, ugh i'm glad bailey reached out to me. at least i know she was on the outs too, glad i wasn't the only one. i /might/ tell her about the idol clue. it'll be good if she can get guessing while i sit in time out, but i'm hesitant. i actually considered telling "floruaya" (which is a shitty name, i agree, sorry chris), and i'm so glad i didn't! right now i'm chatting with chrissa. a bit awkward, i mean, we haven't talked any game before, and we /did/ just vote for eachother, but since neither of us went home, we're both on the outs in a sense. She doesn't know it's bailey that voted for her, and i'm not telling. Right now, it's Bailey I trust the most.

I am so so happy that vote went as planned. It was a flawless maneuver but some pieces will have to be picked up. Chrissa is all over the place wondering what other person voted her. I can't see this ending too well and obviously she should be upset but not with the JackTar trio. Both Nick and I knew but we saved her at the end of the day so hopefully she can see past the not knowing and take into account that she's still in the game. She has rubbed a few people up the wrong way but I'm willing to give her a chance. If she shows her loyalty to me then she's an asset to me as well as a friend. I've caught up again with Lydia and all seems okay. She knows she is my #1 ally in this game and there is no way that I would turn on her. She's so easy to discuss strategy with and I know she won't go telling other people what I say as she knows I will do the same. You have to give one person unending trust in this game or else you'll go crazy. I feel now that our 6 person alliance is also solidified. Hopefully we can win reward!

Tribe swap. Lovely. I lost my closest ally, Will, and another good ally in Nick. Me and Will were supposed to use our idol to protect us but now that will be really difficult. I might just have to give it to him since I am probably more safe then he is.

I am glad this switch has gave me the opportunity to work with Adam and new people, I am still mad about Chris and the one person who targeted me other than Zoe they didn't even have the guts to tell me when i stayed and I hope they are on the other tribe, I miss will Chapple so much :( and hope I make merge so does he.

I would just like to say that when I first heard of Tumblr Survivor I was like HA that's probably nothing like the real game...probably super easy and boring. LOL I WAS SO NAIVE THIS SHIT IS COMPLICATED AND EXCITING AND MAKES MY HEART POUND UNTIL I AM SURE IM GONNA BE THE FIRST 19 YEAR OLD TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK BYE

#SWAPFUCKED OMFG SOMEONE SAVE ME I DON’T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESERVE THIS PLEASE KIDNAP ME I DIDNT EVEN FIND THE IDOL YET

Well a lot has happened in the past 24 hours! My alliance successfully blindsided Chris at tribal council, leaving Zoe, Chrissa, and Bailey taken by surprise as they all voted the wrong way. Before anything could happen though we needed to elect a new tribe captain immediately. ummmm

after several seconds of silence i decided volunteer. I was then unanimously elected captain after nominating myself. Would the curse of the captain transfer to me? it is possible but i knew that someone had to do it and there could be some rewards involved. We were all anticipating a tribe swap and I wanted to be captain in case of a schoolyard pick - and that is exactly what happened!

Adam and I met to divide tribes. he won first pick, which was disappointing but in the end i think i ended up with the better tribe for sure! My main concern is that I lost Wes. he helped me vote out Chris and I am afraid he may be in danger on the new Florizel tribe.They also have Bailey, who is a not in my alliance, but is a nice person and does really well in challenges. Last but not least, i received a clue to a hidden immunity idol! I am super pumped about this because i have been really curious how the hunt for an idol works. I set out on a type of survivor trivia scavenger hunt and after constant trips to the survivor Wikipedia page i was able to uncover a map to port royal! Here i learned i can search for the idol once ever 12 hours, meaning if i am not lucky it could take over a week to find it! After realizing this i decided to share my idol information with my closest ally, Rachel. Of course i want the idol to myself but i know if we team up it will be found much faster. I told her that if i found it i would be willing to use it on her if she was in trouble and I want to announce that I am telling THE TRUTH. i honestly would use it if needed and i hope she would do the same for me. if we downplay our closeness hopefully we will learn if the other's head is on the chopping block and power through this game!

So for a tribe swap, this isn't as horrible as it could have been. Nick volunteered to be captain with the thought that there would be a schoolyard pick during which he could keep our alliance together and for the most part he did. Poor Wesley. I really hope he can stick it out over there with the person who wanted him gone and the two people we betrayed. Oops. Hopefully he will come back unscathed and Threat Level Midnight will be together again. Until then, I'm really loving Will. I hope he sticks around. Nick thinks Kass played a stupendous game so yeah imma need him out asap ;)

Tribe Swap happened at the most inconvenient time possible. I was in class when i got a skype call from the florizel tribe, which confused me, because i wasn't sure why i was now in the florizel tribe. But a couple hours later, i got home, got caught up. I'm very glad I'm still on the same tribe as Bailey. I trust her more than anyone here. That's why I decided to share the idol clue. It'll be faster finding it with the both of us. Chrissa thinks it's stef who voted for her, which is good. I want to be able to work with her and Bailey as a unit. Also, Trevor has approached me, and has given me valuable information about what went down in florizel after i left. i think he was fishing for the idol clue, but i'm not giving him that. not /yet/. he says that everyone knew adam had the clue, and he suspected will did too. he /also/ just said he wants to take me to the final three, which is a BIG thing to say. can't say i'm ready to make him the same offer, but i'm definitely willing to work with him. Right now, i /really/ want Adam out. In a game sense, it's good to get out someone else who has the idol clue. For my game, personally, he has been saying all sorts of untrue shit about me. For the entire time he was kidnapped at Caguaya, he NEVER once messaged me, i didn't talk to him anywhere outside the tribe chat, yet he goes to tribal and says shit like "I don’t know if my ex-tribe member was being honest with me." like, i never said anything??? don't care that chrissa's got a little platonic crush on him, he's playing slimy and i can't let him fuck up my game with more bullshit lies. hopefully me and Bailey will find the idol before he (or will) does!

Every time I do well in a challenge I'm like wow I hope they don't see me as a threat and then I continue to try really hard in challenges. It's a vicious cycle.

Um okay so what the fuck is this tribe swap. Talk about unexpected since it didn't happen straight away. I got such a panic when I signed in because I thought I was after moving to Flopizel after Nick said so and went from hyperventilating and panicking to omfg relief within a second. The tribe swap totally worked in my favour with 5 of the 6 person alliance remaining here. We lost Wes unfortunately but all the wildcards were transferred to Flopizel so now I have less to worry about since if we lose we have 2 easy candidates to vote off. The only thing I am maybe slightly worried about is that if the tribes were picked in order I was in the last round of picks. It could have been strategic by Nick since we are aligned but maybe I'm seen as a number at the moment, but that is not a problem. Hopefully my game will come out much stronger if I get to the merge so people can see I am playing the game. I've talked to Nick S & Will to see what they think and they seem alright. I get the feeling they have been aligned. Will kind of comes across as bitchy and argumentative because he called his tribe hot messes and wasn't too keen on some people. Nick S apparently was chatting up some of the girls which I find hilarious. Lydia has taken control of that so he feels comfortable not to make a move and just sit there. Lydia & I discussed the prospects of what could happen further down the line. We're both extremely wary of Adam and think Chrissa will just fall into his lap. She has a little concern over Stef for something she said about double agents but I just don't think Stef would make a move. I think if she is comfortable she'll just go with the flow. If people think my game is too quiet it would be in my best interests to have someone even quieter with me further down the line, but I like her also!

That immunity challenge sucked balls omfg. I can't believe Lydia and I had to be the ones to ruin Caguaya's winning streak...like, fuck.

I decided it was time to pass the hidden idol along to will just in case they are going to vote him off. Hopefully my tribe doesn't catch on to what is happening.

Tribal Council tonight has me super on edge. It's not that I don't trust my "old" tribe, it's just that Lydia has pointed out that I'm really friendly which could be seen as a threat. Also, I've done really well in every challenge so far which could also be seen as a threat. I really trust Lydia. It would just be super easy to lie to me and vote me out tonight before I have the chance to make it to the merge. Which would suck. A lot.

I am such a paranoid person and I'm beginning to really see that side of me come out lol! Lydia and I wanted to group chat with Will...that was two hours ago. Neither has said anything in the group chat I made and that makes me so nervous. But then I remind myself about how close Lydia and I have gotten since the first day and I feel bad for feeling nervous. Once again, it's a vicious cycle! Not to mention, Will wants Lydia and me to vote with him and Nick S so I shouldn't be nervous because Lydia and I don't appear to be targets, we appear to be swing votes...but in the past swing votes have become targets so I'm back in the beginning.

Topic of the chat today: Explaining to my tribemates what a zebra crossing was. I burst out laughing when some of them actually thought I had zebras. It's so funny how things differ from place to place! We all seem to be on the same page and hopefully it stays that way. Hoping for more awkwardly funny moments in the future!

ugh

The other day Nick told me that he was given a clue to the hidden immunity idol. It was so awesome because knowing that he picked me first in the swap on top of the fact that he shared the clue with me makes me feel like Nick really trusts me. I'm hoping I'm the one to guess right just because then the idol will technically be in my possesion...lol what a bitch

im scrambling im being extremely messy right now and im gonna make a video confessional soon but i dont have time rn. i was GOING to play the idol tonight, but rachel and lydia seem to have my back. they know about the idol, and they think they're the only ones that do. im not playing it tonight, if i get voted out im literally going to cry, but im putting all my trust in rachel and lydia rn. i dont want to play trevors idol and waste it, so im hoping this doesnt blow up in my face.

So I have been so fucking confused all day long. Lydia came to me with a plan of possibly booting Stef and saving both of the Flopizels which I listened to. We trashed out the possibilities of the pros and cons and what could happen in the event of this and that but had to break up to go to work and that. I mean it is great that we (sje) is thinking of mmoves but its not in my best interests to do it. I really like Nick H and Stef and i couldnt just do it. Id feel fake and phony. But you have to play the game and moves do count. I really rally like Will. He is a good kid but Nick S hasnt bothered to even talk to me so I dont want him to stay. In the event of tsomething backfiring i would have a chance with Nick & Stef but my loyalties lie with lydia. Nick S has got to go for now and i hope Will understands that we stil want to work with him and that he is a valued member of the tribe. I really hope things go as i have fvoted as i do not want to puck up the pieces of a ripped apart tribe. I've voted Nick S so if he goes then all the better to my game. I.m so glad lydia trusts in me to explain these ideas and know i am not going to spread the word any further than our chat!

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 3 Confessions

I'm surprised to see Maia voted out, but I get it. Maia wasn't strong in challenges, and that's why she was targeted earlier. It's clear taht it's come down to challenges, and maia's been struggling with challenges. This reward challenge is terrifying. It could totally screw up my game. I know if they choose to kidnap me back, it'll be more than enough motivation for my new tribe to vote me out. if they're not already suspicious that i still have ties back at florizel, they definitely will after that. I'm also concerned about the fact that will has the idol clue. /if/ he knows i chose to give it to him, he can give that info to whoever might else might be kidnapped. and if he's shared that with anyone else, they could blab that too, even if we win and we kidnap someone. it's super precarious, and it could totally fuck me over. I'm hoping this challenge can prove my skills worthwhile. And I hope will hasn't told anyone, and i hope i don't get kidnapped, and i hope will is thankful enough to me for giving him the clue not to blab.

I can't believe they voted out Maia! Zoe had told us that she thought that Maia, Allison, and Adam were in a tight alliance but considering Maia is now gone and she herself voted Allison, I'd say either Zoe was wrong or she purposely fed us wrong information. So yeah I don't know where I sit with her especially now.

Will has informed me he has a clue to the hidden immunity idol. I thought there was no way any of us had one as we haven't won anything. This will be interesting. I promised I would give him the idol if I find it.

Yeah, I really messed up that reward challenge. Good thing Caguya finally goes to tribal tonight.

That reward challenge was a complete disaster. Our terrible SOS sign was a last ditch effort made be me in 10 minutes since no one else was around to help. Nick was supposed to be in charge of this but misunderstood how it was supposed to be done. It left us no time to get a new plan. The other tribe is simply better at this point. Adam has really fell off the face of the earth as our leader. He might be the next to go.

I'm spit on whether or not i should try to win the individual immunity. if it'd cancel my preexisting vote, it's definitely a need to win. but if not, which i'm assuming i'm not, i think i'm not gonna win. just because, i feel like i'm in a good place now. i think chrissa can be taken out. and i'm afraid a tribe swap is coming out soon, and i don't want that preexisting vote when where i am with numbers is questionable. i think everyone wants to stay united as a tribe, and that's a good guise for my alliance to take out chrissa. i just chatted with steven a bit, and he thinks there aren't any alliances yet, and i'm pretending to not know anything. i think i've done a good job, talking about how voting against the majority put me on the outs with my old tribe, so we should try to go with the majority. i feel a little bad for deceiving him, because i thought there were no alliances in florizel, and that bit me in the butt because i was too naive. but i'd like to go farther in this game, and it's not like he's going out immediately. and if there's a tribe swap i could possibly work with him, so that's good.

Despite Chrissa's awful performances in all of the group challenges Caguaya has won four straight challenges in a row, so camp life has been pretty uneventful. . . until recently. Rumors are flying around that when we kidnapped Zoe she did not show up to our camp empty-handed but with a clue to a hidden immunity idol. Rumor also has it that she was forced to give the clue to one of us and that she chose none other than "Captain" Chris. I should be fine with this seeing as though Chris is in my "Black Peal" alliance, right?! WRONG. Turns out that for some reason Chris has decided to team up with Zoe and target Chrissa by forming a new alliance which consists of everybody from The Black Pearl except for me and Lydia

Chris you fool! I would have been fine with voting out Chrissa if you had just included me in your plan but now you have to be shady, exclude me from the group, and team up with an outsider?

You clearly can't be trusted and seeing as we are most likely facing a tribe swap after the double tribal council you need to go. I plan on teaming up with Rachel, Lydia, Wes, and Steven to blindeside you before you can do any more sneaking around. See you at tribal!

I'm starting to feel really bad about the blindside we're going to pull on Adam at the next tribal since he shared the idol clue with me. Even though I already had the idol clue it shows he does have some trust in me. Maybe he will win immunity and it will be an easier vote. If not this is really going to suck :(

Welp… It’s a double tribal. So much for being the next Koror. Good thing Chris has spiraled into madness with his strategies so we have an easy vote to try and pull off. Hopefully everyone see’s how shifty it is and this doesn’t backfire… sorry about this captain. ;) (Also Adam gave me the idol clue and this is NOT ideal because he totally has leverage with me right now)

Even though both tribes are going to tribal, I'm still so proud of Caguaya! Our tribe killed it again on this challenge, especially Rachel and Lydia. And everything went according to plan, with people getting higher scores than Chrissa. Fingers crossed she doesn't catch wind that we're planning to vote her off tomorrow!

I won immunity which is SO EXCITING!!!! The only downside is being seen as a threat by my tribe who may not want to keep me around for a merge. But it's only one individual immunity! Also, everyone in the core four does very well with the challenges so I figure as long as everyone in my alliance is a threat we should all be each other's motivation, not targets. Fingers crossed.

I am having a really hard time thinking about the vote. I could either stick with Allison and vote out Adam. Or I could tell Adam about the plan to vote him out and take out Allison. In the end it comes down to the idol clue. If we vote out Allison I think Adam will tell Brandon the clue. Then we have four people looking for it If we vote out Adam I trust Allison not to share the clue with nick so then there are only three of us looking. Will and I need the idol. I probably won't decide until the last minute what to do.

Would you take a look at that score board?! Individual immunity up for grabs due to a DOUBLE TRIBAL and i score a pitiful 33 points while my girl Rachel completely crushes it with a whopping 144 points!! Right now I am working closely with Rachel, Lydia, and Wes who all did amazing in this challenge while I failed to pull my weight. On the bright side the three people whose names have been brought up did not win (Zoe, Chrissa, and Chris). I think that right now Chris is under the impression that we are all voting for Chrissa but I am confident that Rachel, Wes, Lydia, Steven, and Stef are all actually voting for Chris. Sorry, Chris but it is just too risky to keep you around with a potential tribe swap looming. Get ready for a:

So much has happened over the last few days. Info is being spilt about alliances that have been made a week ago, none of which included me (shocker!!). They all stemmed from the same source, Chris. Chris seems to be playing much harder than he portrays. He has spoken to virtually everyone around me. I know his target is Chrissa but obviously I would be next since I haven't been in any of his plans. He had a day 1 alliance with Nick and 3 others and a few days later he makes another which excludes Nick. Um Survivor 101 don't ostracize someone that obviously? He's has been caught in the act and luckily he does not know. He is painting a much bigger target on his back than we ever placed on Zoe. We gotta see how this immunity challenge goes to decide where the line will be drawn.

I think things are going well, I think I am pretty in charge of voting right now, tbh. They're all pretty awesome, and we have the same ideas of who should go, so it isn't much to talk about, we just all know what needs to happen. DAMN am I happy the other tribe is going to tribal. I knew it was going to happen eventually, but I am glad that it happened before we were down to like 2.5 people. The game plan is to vote out someone who just gave me an idol clue and gave me a good start on the other tribe, but he left us when we needed him...sooo...#blindside

After tribal tomorrow, Florizel will be down to five people, which is crazy! But it's starting to make me think that there's a possibility of a tribe swap immediately after tribal. But we have such high numbers that chances are if there is a swap that Caguaya members will still be able to dominate!

I'm super nervous for our first tribal. Despite feeling safe for obvious reasons, like this necklace I metaphorically have around my neck, this tribal is our tribe's first. Wes, Lydia and I are in every alliance on our tribe. That was a complete accident, but still. So tonight, we're finally gonna have to draw the line in the sand and Zoe and Bailey are probably gonna be pissed at us for lying to Flouraya. I think we'll be able to explain to Zoe and Chrissa though if we tell her that Chris was targeting her. We'll see what happens I guess.

i don't /think/ i'm going home tonight, i could very well be stupidly wrong. i don't think chrissa has the darnedest clue that she's being targeted. which is good, i'd like to keep playing the one on the outs, mutinied from the other tribe and on the bottom. it's good for my alliance, and it's good for me, because in many ways i'm seen as a free agent, and i can keep feelers out bc i appear on the bottom, i'm a number that anyone who wants to make a move can work with. Anyway, I'll submit this and my vote now, and see where the cards fall at ten.

so this double tribal was pretty easy, nothing against Zoe but she was the easy vote, not being originally in our tribe, so I feel we are all safe for this time but we are never sure so we'll see.

I'm doing the happy dance because I found the hidden immunity idol!!! So excited. I promised I would give it to Will if I found it, which maybe wasn't smart of me. I trust him to use it to help us move forward. This could be a big game changer for us. Now we just need to work on keeping it secret from everyone else

I’m mainly excited to be going to my first tribal council, especially this far into the game, and I had never imagined we would be on this great of a winning streak! I’m also excited because we are going to be voting out our weakest member, Chrissa. It’s sad to see her go but she hasn’t been much help to our tribe, she’s too preoccupied with other games she is involved in, and Zoe had been more of help than Chrissa, and Zoe just joined our tribe! Although, I am a bit nervous that our plan does not work, and Zoe goes home, and the votes for Chrissa would clearly show who is in the alliance. So I just hope everything goes to plan!

I totally flopped that immunity challenge but I'm so glad that Zoe and Chris for that matter didn't win. I'm also glad Chrissa didn't win as that may have put Chris' target on me which I'd rather not have if things were to go pear-shaped. I feel quite close to Lydia at the moment! She's a really nice character and we have similar interests with both of us studying history, and we both had the same read on Adam when we kidnapped him. We feel he has the potential to sweet talk his way into alliances and one I would be particularly worried about is Chrissa, but I'm glad I have the JackTar trio with Chrissa & Nick because if she could get into Adam's plans it is likely she would trust us and tell us them. I hope she would anyway. This side alliance could come in really handy further down the line if we need to regroup! Finally the 6 person alliance has come together to boot Chris. Lydia, Wes, Rachel led the plan and Stef, Nick & myself make up the group. They thought he was moving too quickly so he has got to go. I know everyone was nervy about making a group in the first place but now that it' there and if the vote goes as is planned we may become a more solid and unified force. I like all of them a lot and have finally talked to Stef more and she seems really cool. I have the best connections with these guys and I hope it will stick that way. We're all anticipating a swap so this could be our only chance to get Chris out. I will be happy to see the back of him and i can just sit in the corner like nothing has ever happened!

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 2 Confessions

ok, tribal just happened. i guess i was underestimating how hard everyone was playing. The good news is, someone else voted for maia, so i wasn't the only one on the outs. i just need to figure out who that person is, hopefully, we'll see, i'm gonna go start message people and try to figure out what's going on. the game is afoot!

I’ve found my way into a layered alliance so I feel pretty confident right now that I’d be safe in the event of a tribal council. On the inside I’m in a core three with Rachel and Lydia. I’m really happy with it. We named our alliance Threat Level Midnight because we all love The Office. I have extremely good vibes about this and we’ve already pulled ourselves all into a larger alliance including Nick H and Chris. Additionally, we have Nick as our fourth in a chat we named #fantasticfour. We’re letting Chris think he’s the leader, but that isn’t really true because he’s number 5.

First reward challenge, and as the only person who didn't vote with the majority, i'm desperate to prove myself. I don't think I'm the only person not in this alliance that Maia spoke of. I know Allison's in it, because I asked her and she admitted it so. I totally underestimated how hard people would be playing out the gate. I played to passive and i'm on the outs because of it, so I'm trying to make up for it as best as I can. It's difficult because unlike on the show, I can't tell who goes off and talks to who. I think posting the modified/simplified lyrics, (even though anyone could have done it honestly) really showed me investing in team success and i hope that can keep me until i can get my feet under me. I'm realizing I may not be cut out for this game. I spend a lot of time creating content for my blog, and for my other online platforms, and because of that I'm pretty sure I'm not investing as much time and energy into the game as I think others are. And that might be my downfall. Gonna stop here, keep writing after Reward reveal!

HOLY. FUCK. I was just gonna sit down with some ice cream, and watch the new episode of exo next door, maybe work on my fanfic, but there is survivor to play! I'm asking, but I"m still confused as to why they picked me. I read your(Sam's) message. Oh my god. I feel like everything's turned around for me, seriously. I feel like I have power. I felt hopeless, I felt like I was scrambling, I felt like if we loose the challenge, there's a good chance I'd be going home. And this gives me options. This gives me leverage. On one hand, I could go back to the tribe, with likely, an idol. That can be something that gets me an alliance, or to take Allison(who i think is /a/ headpiece of the alliance) out. I can take info, real or fake, back to florizel on caguya, and use that to my advantage. if i didn't have a target on my back before, i definitely do now. now i have no choice but to play hard, which is a rush. On the other hand, I could stay with Caguya.I didn't have any real bonds back in Florizel. If anything, I felt like I could work with will, but who knows, he might be working with Allison and Maya. I don't know anyone here, but I am a number. A number who's got the clues to the idol. And this tribe /does/ have their winning streak, so this might be better for me.

It absolutely sucks that Zoe mutinied because of course Chris already jump ship on the Black Pearl. Thanks, bud. We knew we'd have to be careful with him but to betray your majority alliance this early in the game is ridiculous. So now we're scrambling trying to pull in Stef and/or Steven and try to get rid of Chris hopefully. Fingers crossed.

The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster first, i stayed up till 1:30 getting past all the idol clues to the map. which was difficult, but i'm glad i did it. On the other hand, I didn't read the message thoroughly and now i have to face the consequences. And I deserve that. I'm clearly not cut out for this game. I know I fucked up. But my alliance is telling me I'm safe for the next vote, which is good for the vote against me. and I don't feel bad about giving the idol clue to will, he was the only one i almost trusted there, and giving him the idol clue might bring us back together post merge. the worst part is the week of no guesses, but i deserved it. right now i'm just super drained and mad at myself. i think once i get past that, i'll be ready to play, but right now, i feel like i deserved to go home because of this.

So this game is moving at the speed of light already… We have a new tribe-mate: Zoe. She mutinied to us from the Florizel tribe. On one hand this is a huge victory for morale on our end, and it’s probably gonna make things over on the other tribe a bit tougher. On the other hand, Zoe isn’t one of us. I could see her causing HUGE problems and divisions in our ranks in the future, so we really need to be careful about that….

Okay so so much has happened since I've last did one of these. Our tribe is totally killing it in challenges. 2 for 2 and hopefully we can make in 3 for 3 in the next immunity challenge. I'm still talking to most of our tribe but I've been so busy that I seem quiet in comparison to the others that are regularly there. I've still not talked to Stef which I feel bad about but that works both ways since she hasn't talked to me right? My JackTar trio still seem to be going strong. Chrissa is a strong character and some might feel her pleas to do well in challenges are maybe hypocritical since she hasn't performed the best. I still like her character though because she's passionate and seems totally loyal to the alliance and likes to explore ideas. I really should check in on Nick to make sure everything is still okay. He's a challenge beast.

Oh my god. Chris needs to slow the hell down. For some reason he felt the need to make an alliance to include Zoe (WHO WE DON’T KNOW IF WE CAN TRUST YET) This kid has got to go. He’s a loose cannon. THE WORST PART IS FOR SOME REASON IN THIS NEW ALLIANCE CHAT HE DECIDED TO JUST REPLACE NICK H WITH BAILEY??? LIKE??? what u doin hahaha

Okay so the immunity challenge is a jigsaw and I love them. Finally something I can do well at without it being overly enticing. Some of the rest of the tribe seem to be struggling so hopefully my strong time will help us over the line. I don't want to go to tribal because it brings unwanted tension and starts to bring cracks to our tight knit family. I don't want that to happen yet. Some more shocking news was the fact we received a new tribe member, Zoe, who I haven't talked to at all. I mean what kind of move has she made? She's screwed over her old tribe and guarantees herself to be an easy boot in the event we go to tribal council. Or so I thought. Lydia came to me and told me that Chris tried to make a six person alliance of himself, Zoe, Lydia, Wes, Rachel and Bailey and that their first target would be Chrissa. I'm so glad she told me and that she trusts me because now she has my unending trust for the remainder of the game. I just need one person to give that to and I will stick true to them for the rest of the game. THANKFULLY she, Wes and Rachel were all against it so they just played along with Chris. He has put a major target on his own back now for playing the game too fast and too hard. I would love if Lydia, Wes & Rachel would like a 4 person alliance but I'm not suggesting it until after TC should we go there. There is no point in creating chaos over something like this. I've promised Lydia not to tell the other excluded tribe mates in case we do not even go to tribal. It seems the game has is moving a lot faster than I anticipated, and maybe I am not in too bad of a position as I thought when I first heard this news.

I can't believe we won immunity! I was really concerned for the first time. But it also kinda sucks because now this gives Chris another couple of days to scheme or possibly pull in Stef or Steven. Him still being around makes me nervous! He's definitely a strategic threat for sure and I'd feel more comfortable if he were going home tomorrow.

I can't believe we lost our second immunity challenge. I really wish Zoe didn't leave because she would be an easy vote to send home. This vote is going to be tough. I have no idea who to vote for. And I'm hoping that it's not me.

THREE LOSSES IN A ROW?! And Zoe is now the bottom of two tribes.

I'm absolutely exhausted and of course, what does Trevor tell me? That Allison says she's probably going to vote for me. Well, we have about 24 hours until the vote. He's turned this around before. I just need to have faith in him again. And I need to sleep.

This is so frustrating like how do you find a clue or an idol on the internet??? I read through the wiki page to see how past idols were found and I honestly might messaging other survivor blogs to see if they were selected to have one to hand out.

Trevor said he hasn't decided on a vote and won't tell me anything. In fact, no one has really said anything to me. I'm pretty sure that's not a good sign.

I am glad we have a great start in this game my alliance jackTar trio is strong and hoping we can keep up this streak of winning

Three challenges into the game, I'm feeling a lot better about my position in my tribe than I was a few days ago. At first I wasn't talking to a lot of people outside of the main group chat, but Chris approached me yesterday about joining a majority alliance in our tribe. I think my tribe is realizing that I'm an asset for challenges. I have a feeling I'm on the bottom of this majority alliance though, so I'm going to have to stay on my toes!

I mean, our plan was to vote her (Zoe) out, so we had to scramble to find someone else when we inevitably lost immunity again. I'm tired of going to tribal, but damn, I love my tribe. They're pretty fab, and we all get along pretty well, though it's a little weird being the only girl on the tribe now tbh...

Regardless of all the bumbling and chance that got me here, i am happy in my new tribe and new alliance. this tribe is so much more united than florizel. i mean, they spun this whole web of lies, together, before i mutinied, and that takes fucking teamwork. in fact, they might be playing me now, who knows. i think it'll take till first tribal for me to trust them, if they keep me. regardless of that, i am safe for another week, which would not have been true if i was back in florizel. i'm eager to find out what happens in tribal council because i have no idea what was going on in my old tribe. part of me wants will to stay, because he might be an ally for me if we get to merge, because who knows how long my new alliance will keep me. on the other hand, if he goes home, i'll be the only player (that i know of) that has access to the hidden immunity map. so i'm interested to see how it all swings. to see exactly how clueless i was back with my old tribe.

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Episode 1 Confessions

I can’t believe I’m actually back. It’s been an entire year since the last time I played. Frick. I’m so irrelevant now, I need to make a comeback! Not going to lie, I was really hesitant to agree to play at first knowing that I would be the only returnee on a tribe of new players. This is a scary situation for me. I’m not sure how they are going to react to the fact that I’m a returning player but I’m going to do my best here to play differently. I want to play a smarter game this time, but knowing my luck I’ll just be the first out for being a returning player. I wasn’t expecting Adam Bongo to be the other returnee. I didn’t know who to expect but this might make things more complicated because we know each other pretty well. He can flip to me if he wants but I always stick to the side I start on. Game on.

Wow okay that was exciting, fast and super great. The Caguaya (hoping I spelt that right) tribe all seem really cool and easy going! I'm kind of nervous and overthinking if there is an alliance of 5 and I'm too afraid to start my own in case it's seen as being a big move too early! Maybe I should just let the dust settle for awhile or hope someone else starts one and includes me in it. This is so exciting! I'm really getting great vibes off Wes & Rachel & Chris! They all seem pretty cool. Hopefully the feeling is mutual

So I've made an alliance with Adam but I am not sure if he is just playing me. Right now the plan is for both of us to get to the final 3. We've included Allison and Brandon with us but they are both expendable. Hopefully I don't get screwed over and voted out first.

This game is already so much fun! I was a bit confused but now I am getting it. So far I like my tribe, and can't wait to really get going with this game, i am glad we got to relax and start off slow though.

Ok, we're two days in and I feel pretty good about the Caguaya tribe, or well about some of them. I started talking to Wes and Rachel pretty much right away, I think Wes has played the game before so while most people were in the group chat he probably made more of an effort to talk individually. When him and I talked about the game he seemed like the past times he's played he's been very loyal and honest, which is good, except he got screwed over. I can't help but wonder if he'll change his game up. I don't really think I need to worry about that for awhile, though. Rachel is honestly just really fun to talk to. She's super sweet and we have a lot in common, so it made sense to team up with her. I really vibe with both of them and Threat Level Midnight (the OG alliance) is my favorite chat. Since we were only three, we made a bigger alliance with Chris and Nick. Honestly Chris because we all sort of get weird vibes from him, and would rather he not fly off the canon and start making insane alliances and whatnot. I think, this early in the game, people like him just need to feel safe. So from what I saw of the conversation Wes talked to him as if him and Wes were starting an alliance bringing in me, Rachel, and Nick. Nick is alright, so I'm not really going to complain. We have the numbers if people stay true to The Black Pearl (alliance part B) Chris really wanted to be captain for some reason. I don't know if he's never seen Survivor, or he thinks that will benefit him and not put a target on his back. I do not know. I don't really trust him to make good choices for the tribe, which I think is important right now. He's really young, but no one is really in a place to object if he volunteers and I sure as shit don't want to do it. So more power to him. I don't know why Chris didn't want to work with Steven. Honestly beside Rachel and Wes, Steven is the best. And talking to him made me get the vibe that no one else on the tribe is even forming alliances. or if they are, they have three people in them. Or well, he could be lying, but since he sorta hinted at one with me I don't think so. As of right now, if we go to tribal, I'm pretty sure the most inactive players will go first. Shef, Charissa, maybe Bailey (though Bailey seems super smart and idk what the challenges will be like but she might be useful). I feel pretty good, and this is all super fun so I hope I don't go soon...

i was talking to adam and i suddenly find myself in a majority alliance of myself, him, allison, trevor, and brandon. although i get good vibes from Zoe, im okay with this. as long as im in the majority im safe, but im going to continue talking to everyone else on my tribe just in case of a twist. im a little nervous going into the first challenge; i know i have to perform well, but not well enough to make myself a target. if i do really well in challenges, i'll be seen as a threat that they have to take out, but if i do poorly i'll be seen as a liability and a burden to the tribe. im excited to see what the first challenge is and how it's all going to play out!

So, I’ve made a lot of headway with people on my tribe, so I guess I’ll give my thoughts on them. Lydia was the first person I talked with and we definitely clicked. I feel good about working with her. Chris was also someone who wanted to talk game with me in a pretty straightforward way. Not sure how I feel about that, but I think anyone who would make himself a target and take the heat off of me would be good to work with. I like Nick, but I really don’t have too good of a read on him yet. Rachel is amazing and probably one of the friendliest people I’ve ever met. Bailey seems quiet, but she pulled her weight in the challenge. Chrissa seems a bit odd and definitely comes off as a bit too earnest in the way she operates. She’s also talks about other games she’s in a lot and it makes me wonder how much she cares about this one in the first place… I really haven’t been able to place an opinion on Steven yet, but I know he’s played games like this on another website before, so I’ll have to watch out for him. I talked to Stef briefly too and she’s really nice but you can tell she hasn’t played a game like this before. Altogether, I can’t complain because our tribe is working well together. I really want to keep this solid as long as possible.

Things are still going really well. I've got a 3 person alliance with Nick and Chrissa and they seem great. I'm trying to work another alliance with Lydia & Rachel and I definitely feel a good bond with Wes. I'm hoping hard that we do not have to go to tribal any time soon so I can keep talking to these wonderful people. We've selected Chris as captain and he will do the buying of materials of us, but I do hope their is not an idol clue to tempt him their. If we can show tribe strength and unity going into this challenge we may just come out victorious!

I got a better score than i thought i would on that neopets game

Here I am, on Tumblr Survivor: Port Royal without a clue who my tribe mates are or what is really in store for me on this adventure! There is no task right away so the first order of business is to start socializing with my tribe. Two people stuck out to me with their first impressions: Rachel and Steve.

Rachel's bio made me laugh and i could totally relate to wanting to know if every single person you meet in life watches survivor, so i struck up a conversation and we hit it off. I felt like i could totally trust her (as much as you can trust anyone who you have never met in real life and have only been having a Skype convo with for about 45 minutes). There is definitely potential to work together here!

On the other hand, Steve announces that he is not a fan of Spencer or Tasha from Brain v Brawn v Beauty and that he loves Kass! I'm all:

Hmmm i know that probably means absolutley nothing about your real personality but how can i get along with anyone with the exact opposite opinion as me?! Turns out that I still can! Oddly enough, Steve reached out to me about forming an alliance with chrissa! Although i may not be 100% committed to this idea, who am I to turn down a free offer to an alliance?! Alright, sure I'm in (for now)!

Meanwhile Rachel fills me in that she has been talking with Lydia, Wes, and Chris and that they are interested in forming a 5-person alliance with the two of us. An alliance with a person i actually connect with and one that actually has a numbers advantage? Plus Chris is about to be named out tribe captain?! I have a feeling this alliance will be a lot more fruitful to me - Count me in!

so my alliance JackTar trio is a strong team and I hope to get very far with them.

So right now we're all discussing scores and stuff and it's a bit frustrating because our lowest is 320 and that's gonna hurt us a lot. I told everyone about how I got 753 which was awesome. It also makes me a little nervous though because now they know I never quit and I will do the absolute best I can and that could hurt me if I make the merge. Hopefully they'll forget by then. I've been trying to play it off like oh I had a bunch of time but really I'm just obsessive and want to win.

Chris is captain I guess?? Good luck kid. I had my fair share of that role in Chief’s Island. No thank you. At least he’s enthusiastic?

I am so confused and overwhelmed right now. Our challenge was Neopets. Freaking Neopets. I can't stand Neopets! I have no coordination of my keyboard. Of course I never liked them! And I did the poorest in the challenge. Like horribly so... I'm screwed.

Caguaya just won the first immunity challenge! I'm so excited, and I really felt like it was a team bonding moment because we kept encouraging each other on our scores! I was really nervous because I only had about an hour and a half to try the challenge, but it worked out well and I'm just glad I could do my part to help our tribe win :) Now - on to the next challenge!

Sam just gave us a "random" challenge but I'm a little suspicious that whoever wins gets an idol clue...! Who knows?

Let's go over our first few days. I'm a returnee, and I have a target on my back to start. So I have to either play with the people who don't care I'm a returnee, or want to work with one. So, with Wes on the other tribe I know my tribe is going to have to bring their A game in order to succeed in this game. I knew I had to play it cool, but st`art an alliance early. I didn't want to wait too long because I know how quickly bonds are formed. This tribe is all over the place. Some people are quiet, others are ready to take control. It all depends. So I begin talking to everyone, but it starts with Trevor. Nice kid who swears he hasn't played before, but I believed him after we started playing. I then talked to Allison, and like Trevor I got a genuine vibe with her. She's a smart girl who will be a great ally. I trust those two the most. Will talked to me, and he seems like he's very all over the place but I can see him being a lot smarter than he lets on. We aligned, and I think he'll stick with us for the time being. Allison spoke to Brandon, and we formed a 5 person alliance for majority. Who knows if it'll hold up, but we need something. I was voted captain, and I think that's not a surprise since I'm active/returnee. It's putting a bigger target on my back, but it'll just make for a cooler story when I win. We lost, and I scored the highest for my tribe, and I hope that ensures my safety. We know that's not how shit works around here though...so right now the vote seems to be for Christine. Zoe messaged me right after we lost to see where my head was at, which makes me believe she has no alliance. Christine hasn't said a word to me. Maia and me recently started talking, and even though she came in last I don't think she'll be going anywhere. Allison has Nick according to her, so it seems as if we control the votes. However, the only two I know are loyal to me are Trevor/Allison, the others can flip today, tomorrow, or whenever. So I need to keep on my toes, and take it day by day. I survived first tribal 5 months ago over in Spain, I can do it here. Time to play hardball, kids. I'm trying to use myself as a meat shield. I want these players to think they're using me as a meat shield and that's why they're keeping me around. It's a weird strategy, but I gotta go with something.

I have made a huge ally through Trevor. We're the two oldest people in our tribe; which is really odd to say because we're only in our 20's. But he's been rushing around and trying to save face for me and I honestly believe that he has saved me. I will be kind of surprised if I do get voted off tonight. We'll both be totally shocked! I will be totally at peace with it, but I will be shocked.

Being the first tribe to go to tribal council is incredibly stressful knowing that we're already gonna be down a number but that's part of the game. I haven't heard from a lot of the people on my tribe so it's a little troublesome because I have absolutely no idea if I'm on the outs or not so at this time I feel like it's better to just go along with what benefits the tribe as a whole and what can benefit us moving forward. Considering this is a pretty enthusiastic group I'm pretty sure we'll be able to bounce back after this.

no one's saying any names, i think to not rustle any feathers, so i'm not dropping names either. but i still, i'm voting for maia, and i'm pretty sure everyone else is too. she almost missed the deadline for the challenge, and she got the lowest score. that's what i'm going by, because i think that's what the majority is going by. next challenge i /need/ to do better. the day of the challenge i spent studying for my midterm, so i was too mentally drained to do any better than i did. but i want to prove that i can be an asset to this tribe challenge wise and not feel like i'm holding the tribe back. I'd like to start an alliance with Trevor. I don't want to play to aggressively, especially when i can't tell if anyone else is playing hard, i don't want a target on my back for it. I just feel really comfortable in conversations with Trevor, and I'd like to trust him and play the game with him. I also also sorta have my sights set on Adam, Will, and Allison

I honestly don't know what to say! I'm in shock because I thought I got along with a lot of people. I come off as an introvert so I guess my personality just clashed with some of the others. I wish them the best of luck though!

#gotnothingforyou #confessions

Web survey powered by SurveyMonkey.com. Create your own online survey now with SurveyMonkey's expert certified FREE templates.

Vote for the Port Royal Fan Favorite!

#gotnothingforyou #survivingmarshall #greatestgood #dipyourtorchinfire

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

Tumblr Survivor: Port Royal