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Honesty

I took a long break from blogging. It seems to me sometimes you have to take time to experience life before you actually have something to say about it. So I have been busy experiencing life over the last nine months.

The last time I was blogging I was coping with a devastating separation from my love. I stopped writing when we decided to start again. It was months of confusion for me. I…

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"Love Should Not Hurt This Much"

Love Should Not Hurt This Much

Love Should Not Hurt This Much…………the words a friend shared with me today. I quietly ponder that statement. It is true we all think that love hurts. I mean after all we suffer the pain of broken hearts. Who has not felt the torture of loving another without shedding a tear? As a collective, we believe love hurts.

The truth is love does not hurt. Love is pure joy. If you are in a moment of…

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The Fear of Fear

I should know by now that life always gives me an introduction to what is coming next for me. Recently, I was stumbling upon articles related to fear. The topic focused on the root of all fears, as well as, how to conquer fears. I believe there was no mistake I saw several of these articles over the course of a week. Being unaware, at the time, that I was going to need this information in the…

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Style Scout: Design, Planning and Production Company

Style Scout Co., is owned by my dear friend, Sharon Hynes. I am assisting her in blogging activities. Sharon is a gifted and successful artist. PLease visit her site for wonderful home styling ideas.

Style Scout Co. { SSCo. } is a unique full-service design, planning and production company that elevates ordinary styling projects into highly creative, extraordinary collaborations – drama-free,…

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Why Wait?

There is a process of grieving that goes with healing a broken heart. It has been five weeks now since my love and I separated. I have felt every emotion possible. I have felt anger, sadness, remorse, love, denial and acceptance. Given I have recently traveled through the stages of grief, with the passing of my dad, I am very intimate with how grief feels. When a relationship ends, it…

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A Naked. Heart

A Nake Heart

A Naked Heart

I had the privilege to share the day with a friend today. It was a day of completely being authentic. It was all honesty. I was given the opportunity to retell my story. It was a surreal experience of accounting my journey of the last 25 years. As I told her every last detail of my past, it felt as if I was describing the plot of a book or movie. I felt feelings I had long released.…

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It Is Always About Me

It Is Always About You

It Is Always About Me

In searching through the rubble of a broke romance I get real with yourself. That getting honest part is never a fun process. It is much easier to just blame the other person. Everyone that loves me will happily allow me to just point the finger without shame. Of course, I did nothing wrong. It has to be all him.

In the quiet of the night, when no one else is around, the…

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What I Forgot To Do

I realize something I had forgotten to do the during this time of heartbeat. I forgot to allow myself to feel rejected. I uttered those words to a friend today. I was afraid to admit it. What did feeling rejected mean for me. Would it damage myself esteem that took decades to build? Did it mean all the validation in therapy sessions of me being in a healthy emotional state is…

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No Accident

It Is No Accident

No Accident

I am fragile right now. Perhaps, one of the most fragile times of my life. I have been going through the worlds’s longest break up. Someday, I will have clarity regarding why my connection with this soul is so turbulent. Today I do not. The only purpose to share this is to say I am exceedingly fragile emotionally.

I firmly believe anyone that comes into your life is there for a…

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"I like You, Because You Are An Adult"

I like You, Because You Are An Adult

“I Like You, Because You Are An Adult.”

That statement might be an odd one to hear given I have been an adult for quite some time. I remember the precise moment, I realize I was an adult. It was freshman year of college, all of sudden I was called a woman and not a girl. Now allow me to qualify, that was when society recognized me as adult. I actually did not become an adult women until decades…

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You Must Be Who You Are Not To Know Who You Are

I have come out of a fog recently. My soul had been caged. My spirit had been muted. My energy was reduced. I only have myself to blame.

I lost myself for awhile. I lost myself in love. The kind of unconditional love that makes you become who you are not in the name of love. What I have learned is I will never again lose who I am for another…

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"I Wish You Would Get Angry"

I Wish You Would Get Angry

“I wish you would get angry”the words I heard from my therapist today. I have spent the rest of the day reflecting on that. I have reached deep inside to search for anger. I am wise enough to know that unexpressed anger can be fatal. Have I suppressed anger? Did I bury it? I have never been one to hide my anger ever in life, so this is a perplexing situation I find myself in today. My therapist…

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The Truth In All We Do

It took me a long time to understand honesty. I don’t mean in the sense as we learn to tell the truth as young children. I mean it took me a long time to learn to be truthful with myself.

I actually felt I had a better understand of being truthful with myself as a teenager. I remember having a good sense of self as a young adult. Where things got screwy was sometime in my twenties. I stopped…

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More Will Be Revealed

There is nothing more frustrating in life than to not understand the path in front of you. I am not sure if I was taught that or it is innate, but, I like a plan. It does not have to be a plan written in stone, but I like an outline of what I might like to see what is happening.

I learned when I was a teacher that plans were never written in stone and how to react in a moments notice to regroup…

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The Sign

I find if I quietly wait, and ask God for answers or directions they always come to me. The key is to know what to look for around you. There is nothing placed in your path or pain view that was not intended to be clue to the next step in life. Some of the signs are subtle and some are profound. It is as if life is a giant game. Each step of the way you need to roll the dice or spin the wheel to…

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The Truth Appears In Your Sleep

Being OK

I know I will be ok, but I am tired of having to be ok. In the last three year, my husband was diagnosed with bi-polar disease, my dad got sick and passed, my mom had cancer and my love broke up with two separate time. I am tired of having to figure how to be ok in the mist of so much.

They say God gives you what you can handle. I have no great words of wisdom from the journey of the last three…

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I Was Bad.

The Bad Moment

I have been blessed to have many people reach out to me during this time of pain. One person said to me, please don’t stop writing. Your words are helping me. It has always been my intent to take all my experiences in life, both good and bad, and share. After all I have gained wisdom from walking my path.

It is difficult to share today. It has not been easy to share about my life at all. When…

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