susie.

mississippi born. christian. cute.

[susiesmatherson]

coreyrogers‌:

@susiesmatherson

Corey liked to consider herself a mature person - the type of woman who had no need for childish games. Yet she somehow found herself here, caught up in a game of truth or dare. Kiss one of the girls without explanation. That was her task at hand. It had been in her mind all morning, as she made a protein shake for her and Susie, as they stretched and for a majority of their run. The other woman had become her friend, a shared love of fitness bringing them together. And it was nice to have someone to run with when Nola was feeling a bit lazy. As the lounge in the kitchen - drinking some post-run water, Corey opted to bite the bullet. She moved closer to her friend. “So um, I’m gonna do something. Please don’t make it weird.” She placed her own glass on the counter and took Susie’s, doing the same. And then she leaned in, their lips meeting in a kiss, the first one Corey had in months. 

Every single muscle in the blonde's body ached; they burned. Mostly, it was her lungs that truly did it for her. Each time her feet had hit the pavement was another that had her grappling for air. Susie would either go months without so much as picking up a five-pound dumbbell or working out and running to the point of obsession. Lately just being in the vicinity of her ex-girlfriend was doing things to her. Not just her. The fact that she was around a lot of beautiful women wasn't lost on her. Though, she had never particularly given into those urges without it having it mean so much more. It went against her faith and relationship with God. “Tell me that's the cookies and cream mix,” she smiled, hopeful but not too concerned one way or another. At least not when Corey was coming into her space, something that rarely happened. Not just her workout friend, but everyone. Susie was her own determent. However, it seemed that wasn't the case. Her mouth fell agape for a brief second before she found herself kissing back. Not enough to move a mountain. Still obvious enough to the other before she drew back. “Uh, Corey. Not that I'm complaining because you have very nice lips.... what was that?”

[susiesmatherson]

xbillyfranklinx‌:

@susiesmatherson

Billy chewed her lip, knocking on Susie’s door. She had wanted to talk to her about a few things she’d heard and been told. It was a little upsetting that Susie wasn’t being honest with her or giving her a clear idea of what was going on.

Susie was dressed in a cami and a pajama bottoms. It was clear that she'd been sleeping when she heard the knock on her door. Rubbing her eyes, she opened it to see a very familiar face. Confusion slowly bubbled to the surface. “Uh, Abi-- Billy? Is everything, alright? You look kind of-- not happy?”

[antagonistenthusiast]

Sarah Bolger photographed by Tiziano Lugli

[susiesmatherson]

eli‌:

“Oh darlin’, I’ve heard you say please to me enough times that I know how refined your manners are.” She tried to sound sweet but when it came to wearing a convincing smile for the sake of personal preservation, Susie had that perfected. Even though Eli was using this new change of lifestyle as a means to end to preserve her integrity back in Wilmington, she often forgot she was even being filmed. And that generally came back to one thing: she didn’t care. But oh how smug she could have been if she could have seen from afar how Susie reacted to her. The closed eyes. The laboured breathing. The desire that they both knew existed but only one might begrudgingly admit. And possibly shouldn’t. “Don’t try and blame the wine, Sues.” She whispered, folding her shoulder blades inward so she was just that bit closer. A bit more likely to regain some of her control. And when she turned, several things all happened at once. First, she felt the familiar shape of her body. She may not be touching her flushly or even at all but she had it memorised without fault. Not that there had ever been a fault with Susie’s body. Eli had loved every single inch. Secondly, she felt a very rare flash of anger as a result of Susie’s harsh words. Thirdly, she knew that even though it was true that Susie had broken her heart, it wasn’t the truth that Susie had been the one that broke it. Eli had never truly blamed Susie. And perhaps that hurt even more….the way that her emotions had processed so sourly based on how they had ended but it hadn’t been Susie that had dragged her out of the house screaming in pain. And she knew things should or could have been different but they’d only been young. And scared. “If it was enough, do you really think I’d be here in front of you like this?” She asked quietly. She looked down at the other still despite her best efforts. That would never change. She breathed shallowly, her face the usual picture of calm but her heart was thumping. She couldn’t keep up with her own racing mind. “If I’m the masochist, does that not make you the sadist?” Her hands slipped so close to Susie’s hips as she kept her against the counter. Her gaze dropped. “You know I don’t blame you for what happened…” Her voice was just a whisper, and she turned her head so her nose brushed against her exes beautiful hair. So she was close. So the cameras couldn’t pick it up. Only intended for Susie. 

Susie wasn't keen on the fact that her body still reacted to her like this. They were older now. She knew that they'd both inevitably had experiences after one another. It was impossible to not regardless of whatever weak promises were made. Forever was whispered into dead of night. Love was spoken louder. That was the past. Susie had even gotten relatively close with another, thinking she could finally move on. The two made perfect sense on paper, but there was always something missing. Something that she refused to admit. Now, whether she liked it or not, she was getting her answer. Their closeness left her both “I can't be a sadist... I'm a Christian.” In spite of her severity of this, she quirked a smile. Even she knew just how ridiculous she sounded. She'd never considered the possibility that she could, in fact, be one. Susie lived her life on the defense, never letting anyone close enough to hurt her. Not since the two of them had broken up all those years ago. And if she felt her own grasp loosening, controlling slipping from her, she'd cause some damage to soften the blow. It's just how she lived. Growing up with her two brothers and a mother that rarely took her side—it's all she had. The defense mode had only worsened when she watched her best friend and the girl she loved ripped from her bedroom. She could still remember that day so vividly. They'd been all smiles, completely and utterly enamored with one another. They were happy. Her eyes slow for the briefest of seconds. There was a wave of sheer relief that toppled over her. All of this time, she'd fought with herself over what happened. The images were on replay for month-- years after. Vivid details constantly twirled themselves in her thoughts. From anyway she looked at it, she blamed herself. If she'd stood up to her mother, things could have been different. Sometimes she even wondered what would have happened if she'd just left with Eli that day. Even more, as she grew older-- she never tried to make amends. She desperately wanted to but never had the courage. Maybe she could have fixed them. All of it. “You should,” she sighed, inadvertently clinging to Eli. It was an act of desperation. She needed her. Physically. Emotionally. In every goddamn way, she needed Eliza Finley. “I should have fought for you. I should have done something...”

[susiesmatherson]

eli‌:

It was noticeably early but Eli’s body was still adjusting. Recently she’d found herself taking sporadic naps in the afternoon and waking up in the early hours. Oh, and she’d also found herself loose-mouthed and foggy minded on wine beside Susie Matherson in a warm and familiar manner in a messy comforting bed. But that was a minor detail and apparently, as usual for Susie, it had been easily dismissed when the morning came. The shuffling and the grasping for discarded clothes. Eli had just bid it away with a tired groan and an unbothered brush of her hand. And admittedly, Eli was not someone that overthought everything or even allowed herself to become overemotional but the night had definitely resonated in her mind. So when Susie walked in dressed for the occasion, she sighed and pressed her pen a little firmer against the sheet of paper. She looked sinfully good. “My stay?” She echoed, her eyes dropping to Susie’s bare back when she turned away. “Why? Do you run the Trip Advisor around here?” She smirked and closed the folder and stood up quietly. She knew she was being bold as she walked closer but Susie Matherson tested every emotion in her body. Including her patience and typical calm. Breathing out harshly, she closed the gap between them and placed her hands on the counter on either side of Susie’s hips. Her body was close but there was a singular centimetre of space between them. A space Eli could use if necessary. “How are you finding my stay? Honestly.” 

“Contrary to what you believe, unlike some people in my family I have manners. I was being polite.” Her lips pulled into one of the brightest smiles. The cameras would believe it. The audience would too but the real question was whether Eli would or not. Especially with how her eyes quite landed on her. Susie wasn't daft by any stretch of the imagination. There were times she'd play as though she was. Having people underestimate her might just be the greatest weapon. That being said, she knew how Eli thought of her family. Her parents specifically. And if she was a bigger person, she would agree with her. Perhaps even apologize on their behalves. They both knew she wasn't though. Her eyes immediately closed when Eli came closer. Too close. Her chest began erratically rising and falling. Her body wasn't supposed to react this. It had been some time since the two of them were together. Their lives had changed extensively. But still, Susie desired her. That she could almost admit, but there was something different about it being Eli than anyone else. Possibly it was years of guilt building onto each other. “Honestly? You're a thorn in my side. A night of wine doesn't change that...” Susie wasn't about to let her keep the upper hand. God did not create her to be weak. Sucking it up, she turned around so that they were standing face to face. Chest to chest. Almost. Her gaze flickered. She tried to keep it on Eli's. And she succeeded to an extent. “Wasn't it enough that I broke your heart the first time? You can't be this much a masochist... unless you are?” Her brows arched as she stood taller. She wanted to be on her level.  “People change. The Lord knows I have. So if you’d like, I can do it again.”

[susiesmatherson]

Susie hated that it was so cold outside. She preferred her jogs with a side of fresh air on her face. It was never ideal that she could only listen to music in one ear, but she had a good time with the pavement beneath her feet. The treadmill only brought her so much gratification. But her 5k was over with and she headed out of the gym. With a towel around her neck, she soon found her way into the kitchen for water. Her lungs burned. Everything ached, but it didn't show as she downed half the bottle. It was only then that she realized who it was. The last time she'd seen her wasn't much different than this. Lightly clothed. Check. Thirsty. Check again. “Uh... Eliza. How are you finding your stay,” she asked, immediately wincing once her back turned. What in the world was that? @youngxeli

[susiesmatherson]

billy‌:

Billy smiled, she’d called her Billy. But it faded a little at the comment. She leaned forward to take Susie’s hand. “What’s wrong? Can I help?”

“I'm just dealing with some stuff with my brother. He wants more money,” she sighed, not a fan of the power he still held over her. Especially thousands of miles away from her, it worsened the blow. “Would it be too forward if I asked for a kiss? It might be a nice distraction...”

[susiesmatherson]

narcissa:

                    ‘‘No? No??? What do you mean, no?! Ice cream is the best invention ever, I don’t care about how cold it is over here, ice cream can NEVER be said no to, it’s got feelings too!’’

“Ice cream is much creamier where I'm from... A lot better than the stuff here. Maybe if we were in Italy I'd agree with you. Although, it’s probably a lot more fattening but that's besides the point. I must ask, are you always this dramatic?”

[filmaesthetics]

Visit Original Link

i’m only honest when it rains, an open book with a torn out page, and my ink’s run out.

[susiesmatherson]

eliza‌:

“Oh, the charm is entirely reciprocated, Susie.” Eli said flatly as she lifted the glass of red wine to her lips and beamed over the top of it. Of course, it was entirely possible that Susie wouldn’t have known much about her arrival. After all, Eli had been keeping to herself for the small amount of time she’d been in the mansion but she was growing more brazen. Ironic really, given that this was one of her first proper interactions and it was already brimming with uncivil undertones. Naturally. “Your French is pardoned. It’s your English words that could use some work.” She set down her glass and reached for the bottle next to her notebook. “London is built around the largest river in England and it runs straight into the North Sea, not far East of here. I think I’ll survive.” Even if it was proving difficult. Eli enjoyed her life back in North Carolina. England was very different. “Do you need a refill?” 

“You're too kind, dear,” she hummed, her lips drawing into an overly sweet smile in return. It came from years of perfection. It was one of the few good qualities she should have thanked her mother for before her untimely death. That was a couple of years back, not quite the most pertinent thing to her at the moment. Her ex-girlfriend's presence certainly rated quite highly on the list. She knew what the showrunners anticipated. They wanted the two either scream at one another or find themselves rekindling some very unlikely romance. The ratings would go through the roof and Susie had no intention of helping with that. “I'm almost offended by that but then I'm reminded that your opinion doesn't matter to me.”  Clearly, it did or she would have said anything. The other woman knew just how much she cared for the English language. They both did, appreciating it from different vantage points. One as the writer, and the other as the reader. Her gaze flicker just a smidgen before she held Eli's gaze. “If you say so, Eliza.” Susie found herself impressed but not surprised by her knowledge. She had no idea where the North Sea even was. “I would actually but that still doesn't explain why you're here.”

[susiesmatherson]

cat‌:

And there was the attitude she should have expected considering their previous interactions. It was almost too easy to give into the desire to roll her eyes. “Lord forbid I hoped you’d put a little more effort into a conversation.” 

“My apologies, let me make this more pleasurable for you.” Admittedly, she bit back a smirk as the words sounded the filthier than she intended. “Catriona, how as your day? Was it delightful as you expected? Was that better for you?”

[susiesmatherson]

billy‌:

“I didn’t say anything?”

“Sorry...” The apology came both verbally and with a sincere sign she’d recently learned. “I’m just in a bad mood, Abi-- Billy.” 

[susiesmatherson]

cat‌:

“No? That’s all I’m getting?” 

“Are you actually surprised, Catriona?” Susie quirked a brow as she taunted the other a little. “No.”  

[susiesmatherson]

eveleen‌:

“Ye can’t lie to me Susie. I know you are feeling something for someone here, your demenor is different. Reminds me of another time.” 

“Alright, fine. Only because I'm feeling generous, Eveleen. There was a moment that I thought I had a flicker of interest in Abigail... I mean Billy, but that moment has passed. I've since realized that even if I wanted to kiss her again, I don't want to deal with children yet.”

[susiesmatherson]

rosalie‌:

“If you’re sure?” 

“I am, Rosalie. I don't want coffee,” she deadpanned, always hating the taste. She was a tea gal. “I do, however, wish for you and Samantha to not keep me awake at night. I can assure you these walls are thinner than they look.”

[susiesmatherson]

Accidental Open Text: Catie & Susie, the queen of all things

Catie: I think you left your bra in my room last night..

Catie: You can always pick it up tonight ;).

Susie: Oh, shoot! Did I? Just as long as it's not the cute pink one I got last week at this boutique.

Susie: I think I'd rather not but you can keep it as a souvenir of mediocre endeavors.

[susiesmatherson]

Who here needs Jesus the most?

“Hm, probably that actress from that really trash television show. It’s obvious she doesn’t have any sense of decency considering the images that come up when you google her.” 

@gabrielatheactress