Center of Gravity
I’m riding on the back of Brad’s motorcycle through Kenyan backroads in a rare moment of being alone together and the beauty of the moment consumes me with gratitude. I am grateful God has blessed me in this moment for so many reasons but in particular because Brad is more relaxed in Kenya, he smiles more, he moves more easily, though at times he is still stressed when we are together. I feel the conflict of the two emotions in him as I hold on riding on the back of the bike.
As we move over rugged terrain, it is revealed to me how being the passenger on the back of the bike is a metaphor to my role in our marriage in so many ways. The biggest way I see is that I must align my center gravity to Brad’s. When I’m riding on the back of the bike, his center of gravity keeps the bike steady, if I’m leaning side ways or back, it throws him off and he has to constantly readjust. But when I’m aligned with him, the ride is smoother, we get to where we want to go with greater ease.
It also makes me realize all that he is doing to keep us going in the right direction, upright and safe. He is constantly, instinctually, and intentionally thinking of how to lead us well, considering my needs of safety, comfort and enjoyment, because that is the kind of guy he is.
I typically live somewhat unintentionally, mostly in an reactionary state. So if I was always on the back of the bike it would look like, never holding on, leaning every which way to see all the monkeys in the trees, the kids on the side of the road, and the amazing landscape. I don’t look ahead to the washed out road coming up or pay attention to my driver until we are on the washed out road and I have to cling to him for dear life.
No wonder our relationship stresses him out! As I long to better understand Brad and our relationship, this feels like a new layer of awareness for me. Its probably obvious to everyone else but its a big aha for me in this moment. While the feminist in me shouts, “you can be the driver!”, this metaphor seems the better fit for my relationship, the nature of who we are, who I want to encourage Brad to be, and where we want to go.
That ride was two weeks ago. For the last two weeks, I’ve been asking myself daily, how do I align my center of gravity with Brad? It helps me see where he is, what he might need in that moment or that day so I can take an intentional step towards him rather than a distracted step away. Things have been so crazy in the last two weeks that its hard to tell the impact, and I’m certainly not perfect with it, but it feels like the right direction.











