Riley wasn’t used to absolute silence. Sure, he could sit by himself, not worry about a single thing, but only when he was drunk out of his mind or even high on something. It wasn’t often that he dabbled into drugs, but he had his lower moments. Recently, however, he’d managed to stay away. He’d focused on not falling apart, for Sutton and their possible child’s sake. He didn’t need to be a dead beat father like his had. He glanced at Sutton, unable to read the emotions on her face before he looked back down at his hands that were clasped on his lap. Riley’s body was hunched forward, like he could protect himself from whatever news was coming their way.
He’d agreed to go, and he wasn’t exactly regretting it. New year, new him, right? Riley had vaguely remembered the party itself, where he’d drank away the rest of himself so he wouldn’t have to deal with whatever 2017 brought him. “As long as you don’t run out the door, I won’t,” he answered, looking over at Sutton until the doctor called her last name out.
Riley sat wordlessly besides Sutton, reaching out to push some of her red hair out of her face and behind her ear. He wasn’t sure where that had come from, and he pulled his hand back towards himself, only to have it intercepted by Sutton’s hand. He laced their fingers together, looking nervous for the first time in his life. Riley put a hand over his face, rubbing his jaw before he stared at the monitor. There wasn’t any noise, no sound of a heartbeat, no little image of some walnut in Sutton’s stomach.
“If there was a baby, it’s no longer there.” The nurse sounded wary, like the news might cause them pain or some other negative emotion.
“No baby?” Riley repeated, the weight immediately rising off his chest. “Sutts, no baby. We’re not having a baby,” he laughed, turning to look at her so she would open her eyes. He let his hand rest on her cheek, “False alarm, girl scout. We’re not going to be parents.”
Sutton heard the nurse’s words, but she couldn’t process them. It was almost as if she were speaking another language. But when Riley spoke and she heard the relief in his voice, she let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Tentatively, she opened one eye to peek at the monitor. It was true. There was no baby. She felt so stupid for the narrative she’d created in her head, the images of her dropping the baby off at daycare and Riley picking him up, of her mother trying to convince her to get him into toddler modeling, of spending her weekends sitting through Little League baseball games. She hadn’t wanted the diapers and strollers, but they’d seemed inevitable. She sat up straight, her eyes wide as she double and triple checked the screen. There was no baby.
She felt Riley’s hand on her cheek, and she dragged her eyes to his. “We’re not gonna be parents,” she repeated, her smile wider than it had been since before this whole ordeal had started. The nurse handed her some paper towels before excusing herself and leaving the room, and Sutton wiped the gel off of her stomach before pulling her shirt down. “We’re not having a baby,” she said stupidly, her eyes aglow.
She hopped down from the examination table and took both his hands in hers, buzzed on her happiness. “It’s a good thing,” she said, slipping back into their familiar banter, “’cause I don’t need more than one bratty Henderson in my life.”
