Brian Whittaker — born in 1999 — United Kingdom
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@svpernovcs
Brian Whittaker — born in 1999 — United Kingdom
ft. shieldsthcm:
it’s not that clark doesn’t understand kon is suffering too. he’s a consequence of the joker’s actions just as the rest of them are - more so than most, truthfully. clark knows, somewhere in his muddled mind, that he should offer support, but he also sees the way kon looks at him now and hears the rapid, fearful heart beat coming from the boy, “ yes. ” it’s barely a whisper at first and then he holds his bloodied hands out, “ i did it. i killed him. ” the words seem so foreign to him, but they don’t feel wholly wrong. it frightens clark some, but not so much that he can feign true regret. the joker took everything from him.
still, he wonders where this leaves them now and perhaps clark’s hesitance to face kon stems from the fact that he knows the younger super isn’t going to take this well. clark won’t fold either though. “ all the people he’s murdered. all the lives he’s destroyed. ” he doesn’t mean just lois or metropolis either. the joker has wreaked havoc on the people of gotham city for years. it didn’t matter how many times he was thrown behind bars. nothing deterred a mad man like him. “ what else was there to do ?? they’d lock him up and then - how long until he escapes again ?? how long until metropolis, until lois, was just another tick on his list of atrocious acts ?? ”
kon’s throat works around the lump in it, the one that makes his voice break. he stares at the ceiling and gathers his thoughts, counts to ten in his head. he’s not scared of clark. not one bit. because this act is atrocious and terrible, yes, but it doesn’t...change all the years of history, all the years of striving to be like clark. kon’s fingers scratch unconsciously at the symbol he wears, and it definitely doesn’t feel like the sky is falling.
“ if it was -- ” kon’s voice breaks as he’s hit with a sudden flash of memory, the way gar’s last breath freaking sounded. he can’t think past that for a minute. “ if it was about what was right...about what he deserved, why didn’t you do it sooner ?? ” kon asks, and he thinks it’s a fair question. this isn’t the first deplorable, unpalatable thing that the joker has done. innocent people have been hurt for years because of him, but execution is fundamentally wrong. batman’s kid had died at this guy’s hands, but clark hadn’t decided then that enough was enough. “ if it was anybody else, any other city -- you wouldn’t have done it, ” kon says with sudden, fierce conviction. “ it was vengeance, not justice. or you would have done it years ago. ”
ft. timmydrcke:
@svpernovcs !
“Kon,” Tim says softly as he approaches the other, his tone soft, very clearly concerned. The world is still reeling from what’s going on, from what - what Superman did. And Tim knows it’s wrong, he can’t deny there’s a big part of him that’s struggling to really reconcile the fact that someone like Clark could do something like this. If that’s how he feels, though, god only knows how Kon feels right now. And Tim has no intention of leaving him to deal with this on his own.
He settles down beside Kon, shoulder brushing against his gently. “Give up on the silent thing, it doesn’t suit you.” He really shouldn’t open with a joke, that’s Dick’s thing. “Talk to me.”
kon glances over at tim from the corner of his eye and struggles to quirk a smile. it’s not a bad joke, and tim’s not wrong per se. kon is only himself when he’s spewing half a dozen sarcastic jokes in as many minutes. but maybe kon hasn’t been himself since this whole thing started.
“ tim, i don’t ... i don’t even know what to say, ” he admits, bumping his shoulder against tim’s in return. company is good, though, and kon’s grateful to hear the strong beat of tim’s heart beside him. it’s familiar and calming. “ he said he didn’t want to see me. ”
like for a new post-event starter from kon
shieldthcm:
@svpernovcs | starter.
there’s blood splattered over the symbol on his chest. clark hadn’t realized it when he first landed back at the fortress because the blood up his arm had demanded most of his attention. most of it has dried now and some of it flakes to the floor if he moves too much. it’s not a reasonable thought that comes to him as he sits, but it grips him anyway: was any of that blood lois’ ?? it was likely the pressure of breaking the atmosphere that killed her so he doesn’t think - well. it didn’t matter now. visible or not, he’d live with it for the rest of his life. it’s a stain on his very being that overwhelms him as it mixes with the now obliterated metropolis.
he killed them and he killed the joker and he can’t separate what he feels about any of it right now. it’d be easier to feel numb, but that’s not quite the right word for what swirls in his chest. he’s been mulling it over for hours. he doesn’t hear kon’s arrival because of it but the younger super has never been lacking in presence. clark drags his eyes up from his outstretched hands and blinks slowly at kon.
“ i don’t want you here. ”
what is kon looking for, anyway ?? he’s barely aware of the force that brings him unflinchingly toward clark’s fortress. kon doesn’t ever wear a mask, but there’s a difference between conner and kon and superboy all the same. ( no matter that they’re all borne from clark and kal and superman, kon can’t bare to think about that just this second. ) he makes himself known, superboy clear in the set of his jaw and the irreverent stitching on his jacket and the symbol bright on his chest.
he’s here because conner mourns for lois. he’s here because superboy can’t reconcile the news and the man he sees before him. he’s here because kon is lost. he has to see it for himself. the words -- yeah, they’re not what kon wants to hear. slowly, the defiant edges of superboy harden and the lines between those personas blur. he’s kon, and he’s all of those things, and now he tastes something like bile. “ why the hell not? ” his heart pounds in his chest, and of course clark can hear that, and it gives away how much this moment terrifies him. “ i’m here, so -- so, deal with it. i just...geez, clark. i couldn’t not come. after everything that happened, and god -- ” kon’s voice cracks while he stares at the blood, dazed and grieving and sick and so, so, so confused. “ you really did it ?? ”
howwondcrous:
Cassie hasn’t found her breath yet. Ever since it happened, she’s felt like she’s in a state of limbo, wondering if any of this - if ALL of this - is even real. She’d like a no, it’s just a simulation, just a dream, but unfortunately… she doesn’t think that’s so.
She doesn’t think twice before interlacing her fingers with Kon’s as some sort of comfort - but she couldn’t tell you if it’s more for Kon or for herself. So many lives snuffed out like that, a city leveled, and such a familiar, well-known face disappearing into the dust. Her death signaling many more innocents to follow… And yes, it’s not Cassie’s fault at all, but the inner HERO in her keeps blaming herself over and over and over again. You didn’t look hard enough. You didn’t save them. What are you even doing ??
His words snap her out of her thoughts before she takes a shaky breath, biting her bottom lip. Her voice trembles, ❝ I don’t… I don’t know if we can. ❞ There’s no way to bring back the dead from Metropolis. No way to bring back Lois. No way to undo the tragedy. ❝ …I can’t even process fully that… that Metropolis and all of its … they’re… they’re gone. ❞
kon doesn’t realize it’s happening until it’s already done, but there’s a sound in his throat like a sob and it wracks his body. he can’t stop seeing it all -- well, it didn’t go up in flames, and it didn’t vanish. somewhere between the two. it had happened in an instant, barely enough time to shield gar, and that hadn’t been enough, either.
what’s the metropolis kid without metropolis? who’s superboy if he can’t even save his friends? kon can feel the shoddy construction of an identity starting to crumble, just like metropolis. “ it’s never felt like this, ” he confesses. “ we lose sometimes, but this -- jesus christ, cassie. feels like the game’s over. ”
dianathcmyscira:
“We do not deserve to be called heroes. We have stood by to watch the world burn. I held her corpse in the middle of a nuclear wasteland once populated by millions because we allowed him to escape and murder again and again. We are culpable, Kon.” Diana left Themyscira to help the world of man achieve peace, to protect the innocent. There had been a critical failure in both. Her eyes flashed with ferocity, but she reigned herself in with the reminder that everyone had lost, and she placed a firm grip on his arm. Not as a threat, though she’s never been a comforting figure either. “I am not advocating for thoughtless slaughter, nor the bypassing of a system of justice, believe me. I am only saying… what we have done has not been enough.”
kon will chalk it up to grief and a lack of sleep later, but he shrugs off diana’s hand roughly. “ fuck off, will you ?? ” he demands. he doesn’t need anyone throwing their opportunistic shit in his face, doesn’t need someone reminding him that lois is dead. and to a boy like kon, the implication that he isn’t a hero is damning. it’s more than he can hear today, because he’s built his whole life around it. the day he opened his eyes, being a hero was all that mattered. being superman. he’s spent years earning the shield he wears so proudly. “ i’m not responsible for what happened, i know that. i’m not culpable in this. and neither is my team, so don’t go selling that shit to them either. ” cassie, not so different from diana, has rage and war in her blood, but she tempers it every day with love and kindness, and it’s awesome in the truest sense of the word.
grrrlwonder:
@svpernovcs
although they weren’t historically the closest, stephanie still wanted to check up on him. unsure if he wanted to eat anything, or even have her around, the blonde still brought over some food regardless. just in case, she thought to herself as she knocked on the door a few times. “hey, it’s me!” steph paused, holding back any sarcastic, definitely unneeded right now, comments. “i know i’m not tim or cassie, but i have some food? you know, if you’re hungry. we don’t have to eat it, we can just…” another pause, hoping he even heard her through the door. “we can talk, or we can sit in silence. up to you, i guess.” she really was trying.
kon isn’t exactly in the place to be discerning about company, and even if he were -- steph isn’t bad company. they’re not best friends, but enough people he loves love her to make it work out just fine. kon nods slowly, rubs his tired eyes before he opens his door. “ hey, you, ” he greets, and he’s surprised when he manages a wobbly smile. kon considers refusing the food, but if he’s honest, grief or not, he’s fucking starving. “ not gonna say no to food. come in, ” he says, suddenly remembering himself.
@howwondcrous
kon sits next to cassie, shell-shocked. he has nothing to say, nothing to offer. he slumps a little and puts his head on her shoulder, takes her hand. it’s not like him, exactly, but he could use some sort of closeness. without it, he feels like he’s floating, not even her at all. he can offer no hope, no quips, no swagger, nothing of what usually defines him. instead he just tries to keep his voice half-steady when he finally does manage to speak again. “ it happened so fast, ” he says. truthfully, kon isn’t as unharmed as he would like to believe. he survived metropolis, but he’s not nearly as indestructible as clark, and there’s singed skin and blisters in places to prove it, but healing fast. “ i don’t...know how to make this okay, cassie. ”
dianathcmyscira:
“Someone like the Joker would have been put to death in Themyscira long ago. No civilized society would have allowed this to continue for so long. What justice is there in valuing one man’s so called right to live over the dozens he’s murdered? Over the millions?” The images of Metropolis decimated still played in her mind, and the sight of Lois’ corpse- kind, witty, lovely Lois, who made Kal smile sun bright smiles and lit all their lives with her charm- would not leave her. She could not allow it to leave her. Diana shook her head bitterly, eyes hard. “We have failed.”
kon’s lip wobbles for a second, and he has to turn away to hide it. for a guy who’s died before, been beat to death, kon thinks it’s safe to say that he’s never felt half this bad. he spares diana a scathing look. “ you’re barking up the wrong fucking tree, ” he spits, fury creeping its way into his voice. “ that’s not how being a freaking hero works. ” he can’t even believe he’s hearing this, and he can’t stop thinking about how he knows it would turn cassie’s stomach. he thinks about how heavy gar’s body had been in his arms, and kon is afraid he’ll throw up again.
shieldthcm:
what else can i do ?? clark doesn’t know how to answer that. he doesn’t know what to say to kon because clark hasn’t been able to keep the helplessness from suffocating him ever since he found – god, jimmy. clark can’t think about jimmy right now. he needs to focus on lois, but even the thought of her with the joker, stuck in the clutches of a man who lives to destroy…
“ just keep an ear out, kon. i can’t see her. wherever she is, it’s lead lined. they planned this. they set her up, kon. ” he can’t breathe right when he thinks about it and all clark wants to do is tear up every bit of metropolis to find lois. “ they set me up and i can’t do a damned thing about it. if something happens to her, to the baby - ”
there’s a moment, the briefest moment where kon is filled with wonder at what clark says. baby. except -- except then the crushing reality of it comes down even harder, and kon thinks he might buckle under it, might suffocate in the helplessness right along with clark. “ the baby, ” he repeats, shell-shocked, but after a moment of despair he strengthens his resolve again. these are not the most insurmountable of odds that kon’s come up against. kon’s already half a foot off the ground when he grips clark’s shoulder tightly. “ i swear to god, clark -- we’re gonna find her. everything’s gonna be okay. i’m going back to square one -- i’ll call gar. we’ll all keep looking. ”
howwondcrous:
❝ What’s going on ?? Has anyone FOUND her ?? ❞ Cassie’s voice trembles with worry - timpani heart beats to match. Wonder Girl is of course referring to Lois Lane, a woman she knows is held especially dear to Superman, and she is DESPERATELY hoping Kon has an answer that signals the slightest glint of hope in such an urgent, stress-inducing situation.
She takes a few short, anxious breaths before continuing, ❝ I-I haven’t seen her , nobody I’ve talked to says they’ve found her - a-and I heard that fucking horrible CLOWN broke out and - ❞ She needs to take another breath, biting her lip so she doesn’t completely blow her top from the stress and anger currently making a nest in her head. ❝ …What about YOU ?? ❞ She asks. ❝ Are you okay ?? Because, like, I’m not. At all. ❞
@svpernovcs
kon isn’t glad cassie seems so panicked, of course, but it does make him feel a little less like he’s losing his mind. it’s good to know that everyone’s on the same level of red-alert-red-alert-really-fucking-scary-bad as kon, or at least close. his teeth are so tightly clenched with anxiety that he’s starting to get a fucking migraine. he hasn’t slept, eaten, stopped since he found out -- and he knows no one has, which makes this all the scarier. if they’re all looking, how come they haven’t found her yet?
--- the involvement of that fucking clown doesn’t bode well. it just doesn’t. because ordinarily kon would say that lois is fine because leverage doesn’t work with a body, but -- but it’s the joker. and the joker has killed more people than kon can imagine and he’s done horrible, psychopathic, evil things in the name of doing horrible, psychopathic, evil things. there’s no rhyme or reason, there’s no logic. “ -- i’m not either, ” kon admits, and realizes with a flush of embarrassment that his voice is wavering and watery. “ we haven’t found her. superman doesn’t know where to look, ” he explains desperately. because that’s the scariest thing, right ?? if superman can’t, then can it be done ??
@shieldthcm
as much as kon tries to pretend otherwise, fear is what propels him on right now. fear of where this could go, of what a piece of shit clown might do with the situation -- kon’s known a few bats for long enough to be afraid. and fear creeps up more quickly when it becomes clear that this isn’t a situation superman can just handle. if superman is powerless, then what is superboy? he’s anxiety personified at clark’s side as he gives a shaky rundown.
“ some of the teen titans are in metropolis, still looking for clues. we’re looking everywhere, clark, i promise. ” hell, garfield hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep since the all-call went out. “ what else can i do ?? ” kon suspects no one is as close to lois as clark, certainly not him, but she’s family. and there’s not a mountain kon wouldn’t move to get her back, if he only knew where to start.
grrrlwonder:
hands firmly on her hips, stephanie inspected the dangling criminal before shaking her head. “is that so? well, then i definitely hate to say it,” she totally didn’t, “but he must be yours. he’s not dressed up enough to be one of mine.” though she had to admit ( to herself at least ), gotham was never short on petty thieves who stuck to a more stereotypical wardrobe.
“ that’s true -- you gotham types have some spangly rogues, huh ?? ” one time kon saw the riddler in person and he still hasn’t come down from the shock of seeing a costume just that terrible. gotham, dark and tacky. “ he can’t be mine. if he was mine, he’d still be in jail. the locks in metropolis actually work. ” oh snap. “ what say you we blame this one on green lantern ?? ”
the sun is high in the air, and kon’s basking in it even as he slowly descends with a low-level crook in his grasp. the guy’s looking at the ground like kon might drop him, which -- okay, so maybe kon heavily implied that he was gonna drop the dude, but superboy isn’t a heartless fiend or dark and gravelly vigilante, chums. nothing about kon evokes dread or fear, but the guy sure is apologizing like he does.
“ this guy one of yours ?? ” kon asks, giving the thief a little jostle for emphasis. he glances down, still hanging out a few feet off the ground. “ i don’t think he’s metropolis brand. ”