having apollo brainworms again
I needddddddddddd to see Apollo have a crashout. i need to see him just go off the fucking rails one of these days. like do you understand how much potential could be. lets just make a quick list real quick:
very real possibility that his mother has been assassinated
^ has to work with people who are assassins and-or have almost been assassinated. reliving that trauma
very real possibility that He might be the next target for assassination!
very real possibility His Father might be the next target for assassination!
pressure & expectation to become the best
pressure & expectation to surpass his father
pressure & expectation to represent ixia
pressure from the war on ixia
very real possibility that shit is going to hit the fan for ixia
his friendship (or relationship) with graves (would his father approve? i highly doubt it)
his lack of friendship with Anyone Else
can you imagine. can you imagine? i feel like he's one more really bad event from genuinely just snapping and dropping everything. apollo is young, too. he's only 18. that means he's been dealing with this during his teen/childhood. by the sounds of it he hasn't ever allowed himself to be a kid either. " Electing not to waste his time with frivolous things like parties and dances, he instead put his energy on the piste, where he rigorously trains as captain of the Blackmore fencing team. " how much further does that go? how long has he been refusing to let himself live?
there is only so much a guy can take, man. i feel like apollo is being pushed to that limit very, very quickly. like you cannot look me dead in the eyes and tell me his perfectionism is healthy and normal and that apollo is just fine. there has got to be so much anxiety and resentment (directed at what, who knows) building up.
and then there's the matter of graves too, no matter what way you look at it. would his father approve of their friendship? let alone them Dating? can you imagine if his father reacted in the worst possible way to it? how Bad that could get??? the choices Apollo could be forced into making?
anyway if anyone has fics where apollo snaps, one way or another... do send :3 ( i will probably be writing one myself )
