“You talk in your sleep, you know.”
You rustled your dreary eyes open, and couldn’t keep them closed when you opened them fully. There was Anakin, shirtless, back turned to you, changing. You stared at his back muscles in awe. He was huge. Strong, obviously. What did you expect, really? He’s a soldier. More than that, a general.
“I’m sorry?” You shake your head.
“You talk in your sleep. Mumble about things.”
You scoff, rolling your eyes. “Please.” Throwing the covers off of you, you suddenly notice how short your dress is. A unbearable desire to hide back underneath the blankets fills you. “How was the floor?”
“It’s nothing. Not like I’d sleep any better in a bed anyways.” He puts on a belt, the metal jangling in your ears. You stand, hair flowing down your shoulders. He turns his head over his shoulder, looks you from head to toe. Lingers at your legs for a beat, then smiles.
“I trust you will change before breakfast, yes?”
Your brows furrow. Duh. You thought.
“Yes, my lord.” You spit coldly before turning to fix the pillowcases.
You hear a door clicking. It swings open. “Ani, my boy.” The gruff voice of his father booms through the room. “Come, we have meetings.”
“Thank god,” you hear Anakin mutter under his breath before fleeing the room.
Breakfast was spent alone at the giant table, served with cold eggs, and more women than you could count whispering about you.
Suddenly, you weren’t very hungry.
———————————————————————————————————————————-
The new castle, despite its respective size and grandeur, felt empty and lifeless. Sure, filled with people, but not yours by any means. These people had stark posture and resting frowns, they spoke quietly and honestly?- had a staring problem. The only solace you found was alone with Esme, usually stood behind an easel, piano, or writing desk.
“So, he slept on the floor?” Esme prodded disbelievingly.
“Yes,” you nod. “I offered to switch, but-“
“Strange, so he can call you an ‘ungrateful maid’, but god forbid you sleep on a sofa?”
“He’s the most puzzling person, really. And when I brought up family he just- snapped. I was completely blindsided, Esme. His temper, it is-”
You nod again, trying to focus on the canvas in front of you.
“I heard..” Esme said slowly, seemingly readying herself, “Sir Skywalker had lost his mother at a young age,” Esme circles around your shoulder. “The serfs here described her as ‘pure light’, she was the first woman here to open up a school for girls.”
You turn around, astounded. “I had no idea he lost his mother. Wait- for girls? Where is this school now?”
Esme shook her head. “Few years after she had passed, the townspeople set it ablaze. She was looked down upon by the public.”
“What? They burnt it down?”
“Ma douce fille, just wait till you hear what your husband had done about it.” Esme said chillingly, her gaze guarding you.
You sat in silence, waiting for her to speak.
“What? Esme? What did he do?”
“He had killed them. All. Not just by public execution, no. he had them brought to the townsquare as he slaughtered them. With his own hands. Nobody had ever seen anything like it. He was seventeen years old.”
Your blood ran cold. “My god.”
“Since then, his father kept him close by eye, frightened to what he’d become unsupervised. It was years ago, and he issued apologies and grants to the families, but.. It was brutal. Shortly after, his father put him in the military.” Silence ran the room cold.
“He murdered seven people.”
You shook your head in disbelief. “..a-and what of his other family? I only see him with King Francis these days. No aunts, uncles, grandparents?”
Esme shook her head as she folded linens and laid them neatly on your bed, sighing as she sat down beside them. “No,” she huffed, “Father’s an only child, and his grandparents died years before he was even born.”
You feel the need to sit, so you throw yourself into the chaise.
“He had a brother, Alaric-”
Esme blinks slowly and stares at the ceiling. “Lost in battle. Few years ago.”
Suddenly, you begin to feel tears prick your eyes. Losing a parent is devastatingly true to a life eventually, but a brother? A sibling? One that should grow old with you, to love and hold until life ends and becomes again? You tried to wrap your head around the thought of losing Therese or Louis. You couldn’t.
“His brother and mother? And I was never thought to be told? I’m married to a sleepless mourner, for fucks sake. No wonder why he’s so cold!” You began to weep. Not just out of pity for you, but Anakin too. Sure, he was apprehensive and angry, but underneath, he was a boy who lost everything.
Esme stood and kneeled to the chaise, resting her hand on your shoulder. “You never had much say to begin with, my dear. But listen..”
You sniffle, looking to her warm face you’ve known all your life.
“C’est pas grave, mon cher. All you can do now, is muster up love. You are here, Y/N. No change of it. You must make the most of it. I know that this you are capable of. You are strong, you carry this from your father. Light fills every room you are in. Here, you must find the light. He is always here. His love knows no bounds, je said que tu peux le sentir.”
You bring her hand to your face and kiss it. “Esme, what ever would I do without you?” You smile through tears.
“Suffer.” She says sternly as she presses your nose with her index finger. “Now stand up, Princess.” She says. “Let’s go for a walk.”
Late April made the flowers sing. Sunlight poured through the grass as promises of summer kissed the barren trees, readying their blooms. Your coat danced between your feet as you crunched through the soil. Originally, Esme was supposed to be with you, but she got caught up in the stables. She promised to meet up with you later on.
You needed the space to clear your mind anyways. You thought about what she had said, and again, she was right. You just had to make the most of it. Maybe find a new hobby, or visit schoolchildren, you could always take up sewing classes in the town-
“What are you doing here?”
You looked up, but you didn’t have to. You knew him by the boom of the voice, the accusatory tone.
“I’m walking. Is that allowed?”
Anakin looked behind you. “Alone?”
“Esme- my handmaiden- is behind me. It’s just a few yards.”
His glance furrowed. “You shouldn’t be out here alone. There’s bears.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Coming back from meetings. I’m fond of the scenic route.”
“What a romantic you are,” you say sarcastically. “Am I excused now?”
“Let me walk you until Esme catches up.”
“If you get eaten alive, Your Highness, it’s not going to look great on me.”
You just scoff and continue walking, Anakin trailing behind you.
It goes quiet for a while. Then, you speak.
“How did you know my father?”
He catches up beside you. “His father and mine were friends. Met him a couple times, actually. He taught me how to shoot an arrow.”
Your eyes widen a little as you look at Anakin. “You met him? When?”
“Couple years ago. He was very welcoming, always asked me questions and truly cared about the answer. I’m sorry.”
You look down, suddenly unable to hold his gaze. “I’m sorry, too. I heard about your brother.” You brace for impact at the sensitive topic. “Nobody in the world deserves that pain.”
“Maybe I do.” He says softly, looking at the lighted trees.
You continue to walk through the path.
Anakin shakes his head and stares at his moving feet.
“I miss my brother,” he pauses. “like the sea would miss salt if it was taken away.” He says this so matter-of-factly, so gently that if you didn’t hear what he said, you’d figure he was talking about what he had for breakfast yesterday. This alone shocked you, the emotion he showed. It’s hard to realize that this same man slaughtered seven lives before eighteen.
You wanted to say something, but you knew there was nothing to say. You just looked at him, walking on, gazing at the forest around him. He was thinking of his brother, you could tell.
Suddenly, a twig snaps. Anakin whips around, placing a hand on his weapon.
“It’s me! It’s me. Sorry to frighten you.”
You breathe out shakily. “Esme, there you are.”
She walks beside you, arm in arm. “So, there’s six horses. Sebastian, Stanley..“ As Esme trails off, you watch Anakin nod briefly and travel away down the path.
