Kankri

Kankri / M / 11 Sweeps (24 Years) I'm an 9ld, tired, married father 9f three, and yet s9meh9w still have time t9 explain quadrant culture t9 humans and human 6i9l9gy t9 tr9lls. Thanks f9r c9ming t9 my TED Talk. There will 6e time f9r questi9ns at the end.

[sweatered-strider]

caeciitas·:

I have yet t9 meet a few 9ther Kankri’s, 6ut I d9 kn9w that these separate timelines d9 exist and that we are una6le t9 st9p the multiverse 9f giving us all 9f these different timelines 9f 9urselves. Strider, h9wever, is an interesting last name. Are y9u a human? 9r perhaps y9u have engaged in s9me s9rt 9f pleasantries with a Strider?

Unf9rtunately, I d9 naut have a nickname, 6ut I am sure that I can differentiate wh9 I’m speaking t9 when I’m speaking with y9u.

Sparring is quite a g99d thing t9 get 9ne exhausted en9ugh t9 read a g99d 699k. It’s quite amazing, really. I enj9y sparring as well. I train every 9ther day against my 69ts that I have crayted and I enj9y the feeling 9f the 6l99d rushing thr9ugh my 69dy with every hit I land. It makes me feel naut s9 insignificant 9n this planet when I kn9w that I can fight against higher 6l99ds and 6ring them d9wn.

As stated a69ve, I crayte r969ts, lim6 augmentati9ns, vehicles, etc. My latest crayti9n was merely a pair 9f r9cket p9wered Heelies which, unf9rtunately, have needed t9 6e recalled due t9 an unf9rtunate accident regarding my acquaintance. I have yet t9 figure 9ut if they are safe t9 9perate yet, and I will have t9 d9 m9re tests when I return hive fr9m my “vacati9n.”

Merely wildlife ar9und my hive is what I hunt. It keeps my senses sharp ar9und me and makes sure that I d9 naut s9ften up since I have 6een 9ut 9f the game.

I’m relieved that y9u’re already aware 9f the multiverse; still, as inc9nvenient as it might 6e, I think the vari9us timelines are all rather interesting. Meeting different versi9ns 9f pe9ple I kn9w is always entertaining -- insightful, even, in s9me cases. I w9uld hardly try t9 make it st9p, anyway.

T9 answer y9ur questi9n, th9ugh, yes, I’m human married t9 a Dave Strider. Y9u might 6e aware 9f the ritual as a permanence cerem9ny, depending 9n the exact cultural 9ffsh99t 9f y9ur timeline. I c9uld explain it further, if y9u’re unfamiliar, 9f c9urse.

I m9stly spar just t9 keep myself sharp. I’m a pacifist, s9 the ‘thrill’ 9f the fight is n9t s9 much the f9cus f9r me, as it is the kn9wledge that I w9uld 6e in g99d shape t9 defend myself and th9se I l9ve, sh9uld the situati9n arise. I... supp9se I can see where y9u’re c9ming fr9m, h9wever.

It certainly s9unds like y9ur h966y w9uld eat up quite a l9t 9f time, if it’s as c9mplex as that. What, if I may, was the reas9ning 6ehind creating r9cket-p9wered ‘Heelies,’ as 9pp9sed t9 simply r9cket-p9wered skates?

[sweatered-strider]

caeciitas·:

@bleuetcake @aithentic @coralseahorse @cherrysucker @sweatered-strider @prodead @8adhue @signlss @telarianchicanery

G99dness!! And right 9ver my fav9rite num6er, t99! I haven’t greeted pe9ple in what seems like f9rever. My name is Kankri Vantas, and it is a pleasure t9 meet y9u all 9n this we6site. N9w, I d9 enj9y starting this 9ff with a questi9n n9w a days, s9 I must ask y9u all this:

What d9 y9u all enj9y t9 d9 in y9ur spare time?

F9r me, that w9uld 6e creating things and perhaps a little hunt here and there.

Well then, c9ngratulati9ns 9n all the fresh f9ll9wers.

My name is Kankri Strider, f9rmerly Vantas; it’s a pleasure. I d9 h9pe y9u're already accust9med t9 meeting 9ther Kankris, else this might 6ec9me s9mewhat tiring; I d9 h9pe that if y9u need a nickname, y9u find me a flattering 9ne.

6ut n9w I’m getting 9ff-track.

I d9n’t have much free time these days; I supp9se saying that I use it t9 6l9g is rather a c9p-9ut answer, th9ugh, isn’t it? I’ll say I spar, m9stly; when I 6ec9me t99 tired, I su6stitute in s9me reading.

As f9r y9urself, th9ugh, ‘creating things’ is a 6it 9f a 6r9ad categ9ry, isn’t it?

And what is it that y9u hunt?

[sweatered-strider]

6u66lr seems intent 9n advertising hearing aids t9 me, and I must say I’m 6eginning t9 take 9ffense.

[sweatered-strider]

H9w l9ng until the 'hem9typing is hem9ist' disc9urse starts?

[sweatered-strider]

Yes, hell9, climate c9ntr9l? I’d like t9 cancel summer.

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

honestly i cant blame anyone for that lmao its a totally valid response and i didnt want to be here until two years ago sooooo yeah but this is the internet how are we supposed to do that???

99ps, y9u’re right. It is simply imp9ssi6le.

There are just s9 many 9ther cultures t9 m9ck, and they’re all right there.

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

#It is sh9cking t9 me that such Imperialist views survive in the maj9rity still.#Y9u w9uld think Alternians w9uld have s9me c9ncepti9n 9f h9w the f9rced inc9rp9rati9n 9f f9reign standards int9 a culture can 6e harmful#if n9t 9utright fatal t9 the native inha6itants.#Given the ruthless expansi9n 9f their empire in m9st timelines.

ill give everyone that elysian culture in particular values a lot more extreme of violence than a lot of people here are used to and its fucked up but ive seen a lot here thats on the same tier at the very least yet the entire planet doesnt get demonized or called sociopathic

It’s certainly n9 place I w9uld want t9 attempt living in -- and, t9 6e quite frank, even t9 visit I w9uld 6e quite wary -- 6ut my tastes d9n’t define the standards f9r the entire multiverse.

It simply seems t9 me that unless y9u’re intimately acquainted with the culture 9n a pers9nal 6asis, it’s appr9priate t9 leave well en9ugh al9ne.

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

its almost like every planet has a different culture and biological needs and that we cant expect a species with a highly specialized diet to confirm to moral standards that would have them all dead hm!!!

Hmmm!

6ig if true.

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

whaaaaaaaaat!!! no WAY

Un6elieva6le f9r s9me!

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

good morning i hope you were ready for the trickstercourse

It is alm9st as if --

N9w, hear me 9ut 9n this --

It is alm9st as if alien s9cieties s9metimes have alien cultures.

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener replied to your post: @gulesgardener replied to your post: ...

its okay im just not allowed to be happy because im shockingly and scandalously married to a member of a species no one on tumblr likes

I have quite a l9t 9f 9pini9ns a69ut this f9r s9 early in the m9rning.

[sweatered-strider]

@gulesgardener replied to your post: I d9 wish pe9ple w9uld have the c9mm9n decency n9t...

sorry kankri 8(

Y9u sh9uldn’t feel the need t9 ap9l9gize f9r 9ther pe9ple’s acti9ns against y9u. I w9n’t hear 9f it.

6esides, as distasteful as I find it, it d9es affect y9u m9re than it d9es me.

[sweatered-strider]

I d9 wish pe9ple w9uld have the c9mm9n decency n9t t9 use a ph9t9 9f my wigglers as a jumping 9ff p9int t9 harrass my friends.

[sweatered-strider]

Picture Day.

[sweatered-strider]

D9 pe9ple still write greeters? Is that s9mething that I sh9uld 6e d9ing?

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

i dont really think thatd be necessary considering i can condense all of the clean up work to just myself doing it and have it take only a second or less of real time i just think itd be the principal of it but then frivolous spending isnt out of the norm lmfao but youre free to ask questions about it 8P how does that phrase go again all work and no play makes kankri disappear entirely off of social media and his friends think hes disappeared???

Jade, that’s cheating.

And anyway, friv9l9us spending 699sts the ec9n9my, and s9 9n.

That s9unds a69ut like a phrase I’ve heard 6ef9re, certainly -- 6ut if y9u’re trying t9 make me feel guilty, I’m afraid it’s n9t g9ing t9 w9rk. Y9u sh9uld see h9w 6ig the wigglers have g9tten; that’s the imp9rtant thing here.

[sweatered-strider]

gulesgardener‌:

admittedly a lot of the staff would probably hate me for tracking dirt everywhere while doing it but this is elysium and there have been worse things on the walls so theyd get over it and i clean up after myself pretty well usually

i dont think it would be too damaging??? obviously id consult someone with more know how first so i didnt accidentally bring the whole entrance hall down upon my head but yknow its a fantasy anyways awww youre sweet but youre the one who disappeared 8;P

Y9u c9uld always hire a few temp9rary w9rkers t9 help with the cleanup. Well, I say that, 6ut I supp9se I d9n’t really kn9w if that’s true 9r n9t; y9ur living circumstances and the m9re intricate details 9f Elysium are still suprisingly ne6ul9us t9 me.

That’s a c9nversati9n f9r an9ther day, h9wever.

I take 9ffense t9 the usage 9f the phrase ‘disappeared.’ I’ve 6een exactly where I always have, just with far m9re w9rk, and less time t9 s9cialize.

It can’t 6e helped.