Look, buddy, I just work here.

[sweepingashes]

Just your local, friendly Aperture Science janitor, or whatever the hell they told me to say!

Name’s Cole. Send me whatever ya want.

[komodokat]

Snail racing tournament when???

[everyonesfavracer]

RIGHT NOW! I know where we can find sum prettyyy good racin snails >:]

[komodokat]

YAY!!! Oooh where?? I used to know a place here that had LOTS of snails!

[everyonesfavracer]

There's some good ones a little bit under this shithole place!! If you got a place to look though, by all means, lead the way darlin!

[komodokat]

W-Well hmm uh I’m pretty sure it was more way down there.. I mean REAL deep into the facility! Huh..oh gosh my memory is terrible

can you uhm.. show me your snail place instead I can’t remember-

[everyonesfavracer]

Hey no worries!! Yea, let's go find some quality snails from my snail place >:]! Won't take us tooo long!

[komodokat]

Hehehe we are soo gonna win!! We’ll have the fastest and best one ever! Tangy and Moxie are competing against us right?

[everyonesfavracer]

YEAA WE ARE!! Tangy and Moxie are, yeah, so is some like... I dunno! One of the humans workin here I guess!

[komodokat]

A human? Oohh yeahh, that’ll be interesting for sure! Three snails racing.. AND WE SHALL WIN! Are we gonna name the snail?? I wanna name it

[everyonesfavracer]

Lets name ours uhhhmmmmmmmm

MOTOR OIL!

Let's name our snail motor oil >:)

[sweepingashes]

Uhhh, I’m namin’ my snail guy Snail Guy! Cuz he’s a snail guy. You got a problem with that?

[komodokat]

Snail racing tournament when???

[everyonesfavracer]

RIGHT NOW! I know where we can find sum prettyyy good racin snails >:]

[sweepingashes]

Holy shit you robot guys are racin’ snails now?! How do I sign up

[everyonesfavracer]

SIGN UP THROUGH ME! The best racin core here oughta be able to host a race now >:]

[sweepingashes]

SOMEBODY GET ME A FUCKING SNAIL, HELL YEAH

[komodokat]

Snail racing tournament when???

[everyonesfavracer]

RIGHT NOW! I know where we can find sum prettyyy good racin snails >:]

[sweepingashes]

Holy shit you robot guys are racin’ snails now?! How do I sign up

[sweepingashes]

This core just walked up and started yellin’ at me outta nowhere.

Anybody know what the fuck a “Super Space Shark 9000” is?

[sweepingashes]

Okay, who locked me in the fucking closet? Who was that?!

[biggitybugs]

yo momma

[sweepingashes]

I’m gonna take that as an admission of guilt. What the fuck

[biggitybugs]

[sweepingashes]

Bugs, I am headin’ over to your location faster then I can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

[biggitybugs]

omg rlly 🥺

[sweepingashes]

Yeah! I’m lookin’ for something to hit you over the head with right now!

[sweepingashes]

Okay, who locked me in the fucking closet? Who was that?!

[biggitybugs]

yo momma

[sweepingashes]

I’m gonna take that as an admission of guilt. What the fuck

[biggitybugs]

[sweepingashes]

Bugs, I am headin’ over to your location faster then I can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

[sweepingashes]

Okay, who locked me in the fucking closet? Who was that?!

[biggitybugs]

yo momma

[sweepingashes]

I’m gonna take that as an admission of guilt. What the fuck

[sweepingashes]

Okay, who locked me in the fucking closet? Who was that?!

[sweepingashes]

How are there STILL fucking birds flying around down here? I thought I got the message across!

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Yo, kid! Merry Christmas! Uh, Merry January. How about that instead?

-@sweepingashes

Oh? Well, it’s a little late for that… But Merry January’s good enough. Merry January!

How come you’re saying this so late, anyway? We haven’t really… talked much. Y’know?

[sweepingashes]

Look, kid. If YOU were the only janitor alive down here, in THIS place, you’d be pretty busy too. You could walk for days and not get to everything in here! Man.

So, you get anything cool this year?

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Jinx gave me a Tamagotchi! And get this - it's SENTIENT. Well, they said it's sentient, I... haven't actually turned it on yet. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the responsibility of being a parent... But look!

(She excitedly shows him her Tamagotchi, hanging off a keychain attached to her handbag - It's a Tamagotchi Angel, with metallic lavender casing.)

[sweepingashes]

Huh. Awesome…!

Great. Another sentient robo-guy. We REALLY needed more of THOSE around here.

What’s it do, anyways? Is this thing like, uh, a video game kinda thingamabob?

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

It’s this little guy that lives in the toy, and you have to feed it and play with it and stuff so it doesn’t die. A virtual pet! Though I guess mine is more of a kid than pet, haha…

[sweepingashes]

And this thing that can die is SENTIENT? Man, that’s fucking cruel! How’s this supposed to be a kid’s toy?!

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Th-they're USUALLY not sentient...! Jinx just made this one alive for me! And they usually only live for around a month anyway if you take good care of 'em, but I bet they also made this one immortal or something. They'd do that...

[sweepingashes]

Huh. Guess THAT’S kinda cool…

Cooler than takin’ care of a NORMAL pet, anyways. You’d never get ta pet THIS thing, though. Unless you like pettin’ metal, or plastic, or whatever!

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Yo, kid! Merry Christmas! Uh, Merry January. How about that instead?

-@sweepingashes

Oh? Well, it’s a little late for that… But Merry January’s good enough. Merry January!

How come you’re saying this so late, anyway? We haven’t really… talked much. Y’know?

[sweepingashes]

Look, kid. If YOU were the only janitor alive down here, in THIS place, you’d be pretty busy too. You could walk for days and not get to everything in here! Man.

So, you get anything cool this year?

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Jinx gave me a Tamagotchi! And get this - it's SENTIENT. Well, they said it's sentient, I... haven't actually turned it on yet. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the responsibility of being a parent... But look!

(She excitedly shows him her Tamagotchi, hanging off a keychain attached to her handbag - It's a Tamagotchi Angel, with metallic lavender casing.)

[sweepingashes]

Huh. Awesome…!

Great. Another sentient robo-guy. We REALLY needed more of THOSE around here.

What’s it do, anyways? Is this thing like, uh, a video game kinda thingamabob?

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

It’s this little guy that lives in the toy, and you have to feed it and play with it and stuff so it doesn’t die. A virtual pet! Though I guess mine is more of a kid than pet, haha…

[sweepingashes]

And this thing that can die is SENTIENT? Man, that’s fucking cruel! How’s this supposed to be a kid’s toy?!

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Yo, kid! Merry Christmas! Uh, Merry January. How about that instead?

-@sweepingashes

Oh? Well, it’s a little late for that… But Merry January’s good enough. Merry January!

How come you’re saying this so late, anyway? We haven’t really… talked much. Y’know?

[sweepingashes]

Look, kid. If YOU were the only janitor alive down here, in THIS place, you’d be pretty busy too. You could walk for days and not get to everything in here! Man.

So, you get anything cool this year?

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Jinx gave me a Tamagotchi! And get this - it's SENTIENT. Well, they said it's sentient, I... haven't actually turned it on yet. I'm not sure if I'm ready for the responsibility of being a parent... But look!

(She excitedly shows him her Tamagotchi, hanging off a keychain attached to her handbag - It's a Tamagotchi Angel, with metallic lavender casing.)

[sweepingashes]

Huh. Awesome…!

Great. Another sentient robo-guy. We REALLY needed more of THOSE around here.

What’s it do, anyways? Is this thing like, uh, a video game kinda thingamabob?

[amethyst-angel-adventures]

Yo, kid! Merry Christmas! Uh, Merry January. How about that instead?

-@sweepingashes

Oh? Well, it’s a little late for that… But Merry January’s good enough. Merry January!

How come you’re saying this so late, anyway? We haven’t really… talked much. Y’know?

[sweepingashes]

Look, kid. If YOU were the only janitor alive down here, in THIS place, you’d be pretty busy too. You could walk for days and not get to everything in here! Man.

So, you get anything cool this year?

[heyhigy]

Yo, Balloon Boy! Is this where the party’s happening?

-@sweepingashes

Hehehhehe ballon boy!!! hehehhehehuheh balloooon boy!!

Hi, Cole!!! Hi hiiii Cole!!! Yes yes yes the party is here!!!! You’re here!!! The party is where you are you are in the party!!!!! Hehehhe!!

[sweepingashes]

Nice!

@jinxcast! I told ya, this is the place!

So, how’s the party goin’? Who’s here?

[heyhigy]

Everyone is here!! Oh- except for Wheatley, Grady, hmm some of the humans?…Oh! The Big Boss Lady heheh but she never comes to these things anyways heheh! Mmmm…I’m sure I’m missing some but I’m sure they’ll show up eventually!!

[sweepingashes]

Huh. Well, from what I’VE been hearin’, we could do without those guys for a while anyways. Fucking murder bots…

Anyways! You got any shit to eat? I’m starving!

[heyhigy]

(Gy squinted his eye at Cole wondering if he heard what he thought he did…nah it’s probably nothing! Cole wants snacks!! Where are the snacks!!)

Hmm…Oh! Snacks!!! There are snacks!!! Snacks on the snack table!! Over there look look!!!

(Gy spins around to point his handles at the table on the other side of the cafeteria. It was full of snacks, too many for a mostly robot party but who cares?)

Don’t eat them all!!

[sweepingashes]

Haha, neat!

You got cookies? You gotta have cookies. That’s like, the BEST kinda Christmas snack, with all the frosting, and sprinkles, and shit like that!

[heyhigy]

Yo, Balloon Boy! Is this where the party’s happening?

-@sweepingashes

Hehehhehe ballon boy!!! hehehhehehuheh balloooon boy!!

Hi, Cole!!! Hi hiiii Cole!!! Yes yes yes the party is here!!!! You’re here!!! The party is where you are you are in the party!!!!! Hehehhe!!

[sweepingashes]

Nice!

@jinxcast! I told ya, this is the place!

So, how’s the party goin’? Who’s here?

[heyhigy]

Everyone is here!! Oh- except for Wheatley, Grady, hmm some of the humans?…Oh! The Big Boss Lady heheh but she never comes to these things anyways heheh! Mmmm…I’m sure I’m missing some but I’m sure they’ll show up eventually!!

[sweepingashes]

Huh. Well, from what I’VE been hearin’, we could do without those guys for a while anyways. Fucking murder bots…

Anyways! You got any shit to eat? I’m starving!

[heyhigy]

Yo, Balloon Boy! Is this where the party’s happening?

-@sweepingashes

Hehehhehe ballon boy!!! hehehhehehuheh balloooon boy!!

Hi, Cole!!! Hi hiiii Cole!!! Yes yes yes the party is here!!!! You’re here!!! The party is where you are you are in the party!!!!! Hehehhe!!

[sweepingashes]

Nice!

@jinxcast! I told ya, this is the place!

So, how’s the party goin’? Who’s here?