Sweet-Fire-Honey-Hot

20-Something | A public tour into the private depths of my mind 😉| For mature audiences only

[sweetfirehoneyhot]

Me pretending like everything is fine when it is obviously not in front of the people I love:

[sweetfirehoneyhot]

It’s been a long time.

I miss venting on here, so here we go.

Life has still been hell, I just don’t know if it’s a lot worse right now or if it was worse a couple of months ago. There were two months where everything didn’t seem so bad. Sure, I had my down moments at times but I was happy/content/satisfied in the two months. I did wonder at times when this good feeling would end but I would always push the thought to the back of my mind because I wanted to enjoy the feeling while it lasted.

But then it finally ended last month and I’ve been on a downward spiral since. It was kinda like things flip- flopped; every day & every moment seemed gloomy and I would have happy moments ever once in a while. One week, it felt like I had emotional whiplash from being low one day and then high the next. I don’t know why the good feeling ended though. Or maybe I do and I just can’t pinpoint what exactly triggered my downward spiral. I guess it doesn’t matter though.

This past week has felt so heavy for me. Some days I felt so alone. My best friend is going through a lot so I can’t burden her with my mess, too. My mom has been out of town. I don’t really feel comfortable talking to other friends and those that I might feel comfortable with aren’t really the reliable type. But either way, I probably wouldn’t say anything because I don’t like to burden anyone.

So I am here again, just typing—not really for anyone to read or respond but just to get things out of my aching head. Today, I was not on my A-game at work and I am so disappointed in myself and I’m sure my superiors are, too. Normally, I would just breakdown in the car after a rough day, but I am just so numb. So tired. I’m glad I have nothing else to do today.

I think that’s all for now.

[horribledrawingsofmylife]

Why nothing goes as i would like it to go

[sweetfirehoneyhot]

The way people continue to disregard my feelings lately is so disappointing…

[aidashakur]

I don’t wanna waste this life being sad man

[remanence-of-love]

[remanence-of-love]

[extramadness]

More quotes here

[lexiiaaahh]

being an adult and doing shit is fucking hard.

[horribledrawingsofmylife]

who would’ve thunk it

[tanyaaloves]

[queenneb]

Too late

[starei]

*telepathically sends u a kiss goodnight so u dream about me*

[remanence-of-love]

[mahoganymamii]

Brandy "Full Moon" (2002)

[horribledrawingsofmylife]

people i used to be fine with

[saedii]

you could spend 0$ on me and Id be happy af just spending time with you

[fireproofwolves]

i’d rather go blind | etta james