going concern @sweetjescape - Tumblr Blog

Why am I even here?

There’s a poem in my head, A poem that i cant simply break.

Hindi ko na alam paano malalampasan ito. Hindi ko na alam kung paano ako maiintindihan ng mga tao. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ba ang mha dapat gawin ko. Unti-unti, nawawala na kayo. Hindi dahil ayaw niyo na, Kundi kagagawan ko. Puro pagkukulang, Pang-iiwan, At pasakit lamang ang dulot ko sainyo. Hindi ko mabalanse. Kulang ang oras at salita. Kulang ang gawa. Walang kwenta. Napapagod na ako. Hindi sainyo. Sa sarili ko.

#random #nonsense #poetry #idkanymore #imsotired

September 14, 2016

Today marks the day that I performed my first ever (maybe the last) spoken word piece that I wrote. It's actually an activity wherein we're supposed to introduce our partners based on the information that we got when we've talked to each other. On the day of the presentation, all I'm supposed to do was just to read the essay that I wrote the night before. It's a future article and I thought it would be sufficient. But then I was wrong. When my classmates started to perform, I was pressured. These are the things they've done: (by partners) • Monologue and Explanation using the letters of the name • A song and a Eulogy • DJ of a Radio Station who reads stories of senders • A talkshow • News Segment • A speech and a poem I was so shocked. I thought they're just gonna introduce their partners simply. I didn't expect that they are so prepared!! I hate them. Just kidding. But yes, a bit. Luckily, the remaining 6 pairs will have a week or I think two to prepare because of some reasons of no classes in that subject. My first idea was really to perform a spoken word piece but I was discouraged because I can't make a single poem. And then I resorted to Radio Broadcasting because I really want to do that one. I also can't prepare a script for that so I just revised my essay into a poem and practiced a little bit and I loved it! And today, I finally performed it in front of my classmates. My knees and my voice really buckled hard. But I am really happy and proud of myself. I just think that if I really practiced a lot, I might have one better! The title is still undecided but I think it would be "Definition."

#storyofmylife #spokenword #poetry #aspiring

heckyeahtumblrchallenges

30 day letter challenge!

You write a letter each day to the following:

Day 1 — Your Best Friend Day 2 — Your Crush Day 3 — Your parents Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative) Day 5 — Your dreams Day 6 — A stranger Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from Day 15 — The person you miss the most Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country Day 17 — Someone from your childhood Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to Day 23 — The last person you kissed Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day Day 28 — Someone that changed your life Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

airaslvdr

I’ll try.

Tonight's first hurtful line:

"Sana kaibigan mo na lang ako."

#angsakitbes #prsnl

I am so afraid that one day, he might realize that I am really not worth anything.

Sinasarili ko na lang lahat ng problema ko, lahat nang pinagdaraanan ko, at lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Kasi kahit gustuhin ko man na magsabi sa iba, ijajudge lang ako, susumbatan, babalewalain. Alam mo yun. Ginagawa mo naman lahat pero di pa rin talaga sapat e. Wala na ata talaga makakaintindi sa akin. Lalo pa't pati ako di ki na rin maintindihan. Ayoko na rin maging dagdag pa sa mga pinagdaraanan nila. Kasi ano ba naman 'tong kaunting problema ko sa mga problems nila. Kaya sasarilinin ko na lang lahat. Kahit sobrang sakit. Kahit sobrang nakakabakiw. M

#r

written-in-pen

The feel of your lips alone could make me drown in an ocean of bliss.

E. Grin (via written-in-pen)

#r

benxalves-deactivated20180122

anatomy

My left hand said “hello” Your right hand said “hi” My shoulder asked “how’d your day go?” Your head rested on them like a lullaby My eyes said “don’t be scared” To which yours said “I trust you babe” My lips said “baby I ain’t going anywhere” Yours smiled and simply said, “okay” “I got you” my two arms said, “Me too” you replied, hugging me And as your pretty face turned rosy red We knew this was where we always ought to be.

sweetjescape

Ahhhhhh

#r

Even if it's just a dream, maybe it can be the closure I am longing for. :-)

#life #prsnl #bebe

somepiecesofmyheartandsoul-deac

Some days you just have to be your own light in your own world.

Lukas W. // Your own light (via somepiecesofmyheartandsoul)

#r

Hindi ba nila alam? Na nasasaktan din ako? Na dapat masaya ako pero hindi talaga. Kasi maiiwan nanaman ako. At wala pa man din, nakalimutan na nila ako. Hindi na nila ako naaalala. Wala pa man din. Wala pa man din.

#thoughts