Boo👻 @sweetlilcha0s - Tumblr Blog

Welcome to my page!!

I am in college, I work a lot, my life is nonstop chaos - welcome to my crashout!

My page here on tumblr is a bit of a catch-all. You will find discussion of mental illness, physical illness, NSFW topics (less frequent), random tidbit, as I said - bit of a catch-all site for my brain lol

This account is not minor friendly so MDNI!!!!!!!!

Additionally, regardless of what topic is being discussed I do not support nor encourage the worsening of existing conditions, mental or otherwise, and highly encourage everyone to seek the appropriate help for their respective conditions. I do my best to add warnings to posts I know will be potentially triggering, but I am human and make mistakes. I'm friendly so feel free to DM, send asks, or even request I alter posts to make them a bit more public space censor-appropriate!

I have maintained for so incredibly long that I think it's just my meds atp

Like I was burning 5k calories twice a week, eating at or under 1600 cals daily and my maintenance is like 2100 (technically more but I round down) and still nada.

I have stopped the meds (I don't wanna increase dosage and they don't work anymore I built a tolerance) and am doing a new daily workout routine partly to lose the fuckin weight and partly to prep for the job I start next month. It's super physically demanding so I'll get well over my 10k steps a day and burn plenty of cals, but need to be in better shape.

Gonna finish my drink (zero sugar ultra blue Hawaiian monster energy 10cals) and then fast until my husband inevitably forces me to eat 🫠

Today I learned 1/8 of the pepperoni pizza from Hy-Vee is like 500 calories 🫠🫠🫠

Fml

Did so good but friend came over for food, wouldn't eat unless someone ate with her... Made pizza cuz quick easy and she'd eat it.

My intake is already at 865 😭😭😭😭

Gonna be doing a workout today for sure, gonna charge my watch and put that on, Jesus fuck I hate myself

1 vehicle fixed and good to go

1 vehicle fixed but needs to be relicensed and new tags

Behind on bills, behind on college stuff, behind on housework eek

I'm also maintaining weight despite efforts to lose, debating going off my meds just to lose weight better.

Also setting a goal for 100oz water daily

1 vehicle fixed and good to go

1 vehicle fixed but needs to be relicensed and new tags

Behind on bills, behind on college stuff, behind on housework eek

I'm also maintaining weight despite efforts to lose, debating going off my meds just to lose weight better.

Also setting a goal for 100oz water daily

I really need to just not exist right now.

Life Update: got married, have a second partner, both vehicles are out of commission, I'm temporarily inactive at one job and one day a week at the other, I'm doordashing, streaming, and sorting out making SW videos to scrape by financially.

I'm in a depressive episode so not much motivation other than trying to not be a burden to my household. I also have social gaming time planned for like right now but I really don't want to. I don't want to mask, I don't want to fake happy social excitement, I want to play my music and write until the feelings are gone.

I want to be able to make enough money from content to work just a couple days a week and be fine. I want to be able to work, and do chores, and have a social life but I'm fucking disabled and chronically ill so instead I have spoons for some not all.

I cannot catch a fucking break

Car keys wound up in the fucking trash, thank Fuck I found em before trash went out.

Rear tire has a leak so I can't go see my boyfriend, and I could have him come pick me up but that's an hour and a half drive and if he does I'll end up staying the night out there but I don't do well sleeping at other people's places.

My night terrors are getting worse, I got my period, every time I think I'm getting ahead financially something sets me back even more.

Can't even fucking earn more money cuz the only fast option is doordash and guess what's out of fucking commission???

I want to scream and cry and punch something 😭😭😭

Fucking cherry on top of the last week and a half of shitty things happening

New user cuz I felt like I needed something less cutesy? Less tied to what I pretend is great living ig? Idk if it makes any sense but then again doesn't have to for anyone but me

I feel so little like myself.

I got a second job that's kicking my ass but I love, and it's good change that I pray I can maintain.

It's still painful not having my baby, it's been 3 week since my service dog passed.

At least the 2 days a week at the new job will mean getting fit and dropping weight. I'm routinely burning 5k calories per shift there and haven't had binges or the urge to despite it!

Honestly kinda just ready for the next chapter. I feel so unlike myself, so close to everything shattering again...

Burned over 5,000 cals today, new job gonna have me dropping weight so fast! Or at least burning fat off lol, might gain some muscle

Do not wanna be here

According to my watch, that I have only been wearing part of the day, I've burned off just over 2k cals... I've ingested just under 2.2k cals today.... Eheheheh imma have a headache tomorrow, I went overboard on cleaning

Caved and had something to eat 😅 brightside is that I did it because I cleaned enough to burn too many cals and make myself feel like I was gonna pass out.

Also about to burn off what I ate by doing more cleaning 😃

Work will also burn a fair bit

Caved and had something to eat 😅 brightside is that I did it because I cleaned enough to burn too many cals and make myself feel like I was gonna pass out.

Also about to burn off what I ate by doing more cleaning 😃

Work will also burn a fair bit

Gonna do my best to survive on coffee and water until dinner, gonna start cooking dinner at about 2:45pm

Gluten free spaghetti with ground turkey

Oven baked, buttered baguette

Watermelon chunks

Oven baked zucchini and potato chunks with seasoning

Roughly 1,175 calories total for the dinner which is honestly a TON for a single meal, but I wanted to do something special for the family and plenty of options for the picky eater. Not listed is the asparagus I'll be making but I won't touch that 😅

It'll take probably a good hour and a half to make everything, but it'll be well worth it to see the smiles on their faces!

Also praying it turns out good because I am not much of a cook 😬

It'd be great if I could make living wages at part time hours 🫠🫠

I'm so tired of work, college, parenting, AND other shit

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