Aka worst mistakes I’ve made as a SB. Because, as glamorous as we all make it seem, there’s a lot of discomfort, danger, annoyance, humiliation, and sweat that comes from doing this. Here’s some stupid experiences I had as a newbie:
1. Received $40 as payment for a 8hr+ date. This was in the beginning phase when I was too nervous to ask for payment. Shitty ass salt used that to his advantage and would take up HOURS of my time and usually give me next to nothing ($50, $100, 60). He was a lawyer so… 😒 always coasted over the allowance discussion as we drove around in his $90,000 car. After a date where we went to his leased office in the middle of wealthy ass downtown, to the park, to dinner (where he spent $500 on), to his place (a big ass loft) where I stupidly performed oral, and finally to drop me off before heading home… he handed me a crumpled up roll of money. Opened it at home and it was $40 😂😂 I blocked his number and stop contacting him. 3 weeks of my time, wasted.
Lesson: just because someone has money, doesn’t mean they’re going to spend it on you. I started asking for first date gifts after this dude. Also, lawyers make the WORST benefactors.
2. Went to meet a POT who was substantially older/less attractive than his profile. I think he was listed at 50 when he had to be at LEAST 65 but closer to 70. I’m talking white haired and geriatric. He wanted to meet in my town center and have dinner at a VERY public place. We met in a parking garage and we drove his car to the restaurant 3 blocks a way… the second I sat down, this literal grandpa grabbed my face and kissed me. It was disgusting. The garage attendant saw, the young couple in the parking lot saw, the folks crossing in front of us saw. That set a bad mood for the date. The whole time he was handsy as hell, rubbing my legs, making loud ass sexual jokes and other stuff in a VERY crowded restaraunt. After dinner we were supposed to go shopping but I told him I didn’t feel too well because I had no intention of being paraded around by this skeezy grandpa. On the way out I saw a group of kids from my college (lol) and pretended like I didn’t as he kept trying to hold my hand. Much didn’t come from it as he wanted casual sex and I wanted an arrangement - this was after the lawyer debacle and I was not letting men slip with not giving me EXACTLY what I wanted. He did offer 1k to fuck but I said nope and moved on in my search.
Lesson: MANY!
1. Learned to SET BOUNDARIES. It’s my body, there’s no reason for random men (who aren’t paying me) to be feeling up on me in public and making me uncomfortable. If that kiss had happened today, I would’ve slapped the shit out of him and exited his car.
2. SCREEN! I’d never have agreed to go out with someone who looked the way old dude did. All his pictures were of him I glasses lounging on the beach, talk about a catfish. My cutoff is 60 unless that allowance enters 5 figures.
3. Learned to keep dates away from where I lived. I guarantee you that any many who’s seeing you far away from his home will SHOW OUT. Discretion goes out the window.
3. My first actual arrangement was with very obvious hobbyist who wanted to exploit new sugar babies and unfortunately I still see some in the bowl today. He was into bdsm and as someone who had interest in the lifestyle, I was super excited. At the time, it was hard to find someone who’d be willing to let you dominate them (I didn’t know the proper sites) and pay me an allowance to do so. We had a lovely lunch at a Capital Grille and discussed our terms. I agreed to $500 per meet for 4-5 meets a month as my ideal allowance at the time was $2,000 to $2,500. I was a college student with minimal bills who just wanted to save money. I was under the impression that we’d be doing the things we’d discussed at our pot date; traveling, shopping, dinning, boating, and of course practicing BDSM, lol, boy was I wrong. In true cheap ass john fashion EVERY. DATE. WAS. A. HOTEL. DATE. Every single one and in the rare occasion that we went out to eat, I didn’t see a single red cent 😂😂. He also made sure to not exceed 3 dates a month, after 2 months of being screwed over I dropped him. Just flat it ghosted his ass, he contacted me a few weeks ago on my FinDomme profile still parading as a Sugar Daddy looking for a dominant black queen, lol, blocked him a second time.
Lesson:
1. Men who offer PPM are usually johns and whenever given the offer I’ve learned to spike up my allowance. I usually ask for $3,000 to $4,000 a month for 3-4 dates, my PPM is $1,500 for 4 monthly dates and we’re not doing ANYTHING until I’ve received a monthly allowance. If we meet 3 meets instead of 4, I’m still covered. If you don’t like it l, pay me in full 🤷🏾♀️
2. Men, by nature, are assholes and shitty decietful predators. They’re greedy, they’ll take advantage of ALL you have to offer while giving you the bare minimum. Every time you think you’re asking for too much or being too stern, remember this.
3. Learned to speak the fuck up, most important lesson I’ve learned to this day.
General advice: Being whorephobic will result in you getting PLAYED. Sugar babies and escorts all fall under the umbrella of sex work but they do pretty different things. Unfortunately most SBs are incredibly whorephobic and that leads to them getting taken advantage of. If a man can guilt you into your time, your presence, and sex by making you feel bad for asking for compensation, you’re being played. Anyone who behaves like a “pick me” will get taken advantage of by men, period.
Learn from your mistakes ladies, these are some of the most embarrassing situations I’ve been in, but my anger turned me into a fine tuned machine. Shitty men teach you lessons so you know how to avoid other men like them. Being a sex worker takes WORK and growth from being fucked over and toyed with is some of that mental work. Figured I’d share some of my negative experiences since all you ever see and read is the good. Took some time to get to where I am - just give yourself some time.
Y’all be safe and smart 💕
(and get that💰)
yousharknotpass
blakekathryn
snowghoul
janainaart
germansingergirl
annaxmalina
romaincrisis
prguitarman
