ambitiondriven:
Ears wanted to flatten and Catra had to fight off the instinct. Glaring became harder as tears began to stream down those beautiful light blue eyes. She could feel a conflicting tug to her heart; something telling her to reach beyond the bars and wipe those tears away and another to take a swipe at her face for even daring to show such emotion after all that had happened.
The horde commander had broken down the first moment she found herself alone - unlike Adora. Was the other girl just now experiencing such emotions? Oh, did she not have the luxury since joining the rebellion? Too busy with her new friends and occupation? She wept for that betrayal and friendship lost. The memory had her stomach twisting in painful knots; she used to be weak and pathetic
“I’m not asking you to understand.” The words fell form her lips before she could stop herself. Body tensed and heart aching - it seemed she was still prone to such weakness, at least with Adora right in front of her. “But you keep acting like you do and it’s really starting to piss me off!” Fangs and claws flashed for a brief second, to show the blonde just how angry she was and to remind her how strong she had become. “Want to keep going? Go ahead, Adora! Keep telling me how I’m feeling and what I’m doing!” Hands flew above her head in frustration.
“Then just talk to me!”
“I want to understand! Make me understand, Catra–because I’m tired doing this with you, I’m tired of this guessing game and getting nowhere!”
The blonde begged, wishing she could reach behind those bars and shake some sense into the other. She didn’t even have the key to the cell to do such even if she wanted to. The wall between them would have to remain for now, for better or worse.
She was never so vulnerable; certainly not in front of the one who was her supposed enemy. She was better than that; a competent soldier, a strategist, coy and cunning and intelligent and composed–but at the moment? She was a pathetic excuse for a leader, and knew it, and perhaps deserved Catra’s ttaunting.
Tears continued to fall, and she could feel her body aching to crumble. She hardly had the time to fall apart, to find many moments to think alone, to be alone, to really allow herself to fall into despair. Destiny had other plans, pulling her in every direction with new problems to solve and new people to serve and new problems arising where she was left in the consistent company of her new beloved companions.She wasn’t granted such a luxury of a moment’s peace, and not even the angry marks upon her back could compare to her broken heart.
“I’m not asking on behalf of the Rebellion I’m asking as your friend. You think I don’t care about you or don’t think about you–but I do! And I’ve clearly hurt you in ways I’ve never realized and ways I’ve never understood. And I’m sorry, Catra. I know that I’m not perfect. I’ve made my share of mistakes. But I’m sick and tired of you looking at me like I don’t care.”
More than she had ever cared about another; she had left an emptiness inside her heart that could never be filled by another. Even now, after everything. And perhaps this would be the last time they could ever talk so intimately; and if so, she had to give it her all. At the very least, she needed to finally understand–even if it hurt. Even if it was never resolved. She needed answers before she could ever attempt to move on.
