There are so many things Genji notices about this moment.
He is hyperaware of the way Jesse’s hand tightens around his. The way Jesse turns toward him a little more as his head dips. The way his breathing seems to pick up a little bit. Every time their eyes meet, a flush warms Genji from within, and were he still fully human, he’d surely have a pretty pink blush across his neck, chest, and shoulders.
“I am happy you think so,” Genji murmurs in reply. And he means it. To know that he is doing good for Jesse… it means everything. How far they’ve come since their reunion.
It’s at that moment Genji realizes their positions. It’d be so easy for him to sit forward and brush his lips to Jesse’s, but he’s not quite certain this is the time or the place. But that flush keeps warming him, and Genji thinks about all the times he’s been struck speechless by Jesse’s beauty, how much he depends on the other man, and cannot stop himself.
“Jesse, there is something I must tell you,” he begins, and his heart kicks up in overtime. When has he ever been so nervous over something like this? Never, his mind supplies, and maybe it’s because it’s the first time in ten years, or maybe it’s because he’s never felt this way about another person before. Genji squeezes Jesse’s hand, drops his gaze to his lap, and he adds, “This may not… be the appropriate time, but I… I feel like I need to, you know?”
Genji wets his lips again and forces himself to look up and meet Jesse’s gaze. For a moment, his mouth goes dry, and he can’t think of anything to say. His brain takes over, though he hears his heartbeat in his ears more than his own words: “You are so close to my heart, closer than anyone has ever been, and I… like you. As more than a friend, and I…”
He sucks in a sharp breath and is sure that blush has finally settled high on his cheekbones, visible even under all his scars. “If… it’s possible you feel the same way, I would very much like to kiss you right now.” A beat. “…Can I?”
Jesse brings his gaze back up only as Genji speaks again, only as Genji prompts for his attention, squeezes his hand in turn. He’s met with Genji’s gaze in his own lap, avoiding eye contact- an unusual show for Genji, but one Jesse doesn’t bother to question. He waits, shows a return of the same patience Genji has shown him time and time again.
Usually, Jesse is perceptive, can catch on to meanings before the sentences even finish, but as Genji starts to speak, to unravel and explain and confess, Jesse finds himself trying to play catch-up. Disbelief is one word for it, but there is no dismayed hangup, no subtle disappointment following. He is warm. Jesse is left trying to piece together how Genji could- after all the bullshit Jesse had them both dragged through, after each and every hangup Jesse’s experienced, after-
Genji’s eyes meet Jesse’s own, and every thought ceases.
Everything about Genji is open, honest and truthful and its beautiful, the flush in his cheeks and the slight furrow in his brow that hints at nervousness, the wide-eyed gaze Genji gives him, looking for some sort of hint from Jesse, some sort of reaction before Jesse can even give it to him.
Jesse’s mouth moves before his brain has time to catch up, to think to filter and “Yes” is the answer that falls off his tongue. It spills again, then punctuated with a “god” before the final one rolls off his lips.
Jesse tilts his head, pulls his friend’s hand further into his lap to give some amount of closeness without breaking that hold, can practically feel Genji’s breath against his skin and Jesse’s gaze drops, breaks the contact to look at Genji’s lips. It’s only that much closer that Jesse lets his eyes slip closed. But there’s a moment where Jesse hesitates, can feel his heartbeat in his chest once, twice. He feels like a schoolboy.
Jesse lets out a sigh, closes the gap, and presses against Genji in a kiss.
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