lost ;

SYLVIA OZERA; twenty one. moroi. fire. twin. sister. daughter. lover. fighter. avid clothes shopper. She wanted to say ‘Don’t leave me,’ but she couldn’t do it, not again. She was so TIRED of begging people to love her.

[sylvozera-blog]

She was back in town and she didn’t want to be. Sylvia just wanted to be back home, with her cousin, with her brother and sister - even her damn parents, instead of this town that was filled with death. Because this wasn’t home anymore; this was a fucking graveyard. Sitting quietly staring into nothing at the local cafe; with her coffee resting on the table, feet lightly tapping against the wood floorboards, coming out of whatever thoughts that encompassed her when someone had bumped into her table. “Hm?” Sylvia glanced up, searching for whoever had done it. “Did you need something?”

[cxnstcllations]

She swallowed the retort that threatened on her tongue - she had meant it, as much as it had been hard to say. Sylvia was not the one who had beaten her within an inch of her life. But his face was there on her delicate features, a reminder of how close she had come to losing everything. “I know that.” She said curtly, heavy lidded gaze wandering anywhere but on the redhead. “It’s just a little hard to differentiate sometimes.”

[sylvozera-blog]

Sylvia was almost sure that Anastasiya was not Sebastian’s first victim, she’d put all her savings on that bet. He’d attacked Juni; fed from her, had played mind games with everyone, but that didn’t mean that they were the same. If she had not left their home seven years ago, Sylvia knew she’d have ended up like him. “Try harder.” Sylvia muttered, scratching the back of her neck. “I don’t attack people. I don’t feed from them-” well, not like he had. “And I don’t play mind games. All of that - it’s child’s play; admittedly, yeah, the old Sylvia would’ve done that. But I haven’t been her for the past seven years,” she carried on, not really sure what to say. “That doesn’t mean that you can just - project your hatred for him onto a girl you barely know, just because he’s not here for you to yell at.”

[aseleznyovs-blog]

“Slyvia.” He acknowledged. “Always a pleasure.” He shook his head at her words, mentally trying to reign in his anger. She was hurting - she was sad and hurting and angry at any one number of things. Hell. He understood that somewhat, since he’d lost Moroi friends and he’d lost Dhampir friends too. But.. he’d never found them in a body bag on his doorstep. Sighing, Alexei reached for the bottle of bourbon, and placed it a little closer towards her. She sure as shit looked like she needed it more than he did at this point. “I’m sorry about your brother.” He wasn’t as much he probably should be, actually - Sebastian was an annoying little asshole who didn’t know when to shut up, and didn’t know when to just stop either, but. Loss was hard. Loss was unfair. “Doesn’t do much, I know but. I’m sorry.”

[sylvozera-blog]

“Doubt it.” She muttered under her breath, bringing her glass to her lips. Drinking was never her thing, but right now, it was all she could think about. If Sylvia was surprised by the small act of kindness by Alexei; giving her the bottle of bourbon, she didn’t show it. Though was it kindness, or a way to shut her up? Sylvia didn’t mind either options. “Oh I’m sure you are. Your little sister isn’t; that’s for sure.” Discarding her glass and instead opted for the bottle, she took a large gulp out of it, ignoring the fire down her throat. But it had its effect; numbness soon spread through her body and dampered down her emotions - so at least she wouldn’t cry in a bar. “Condolences. This was a necessary sacrifice.” Sylvia murmured out the words more to herself - mulling them over, dissecting them in her head. “Who the hell even says that? Who the hell leaves a body in a bag on their sister’s doorstep? Fuck life is cruel.”

[cxnstcllations]

Pressing her lips together, she exhaled - a deflated sigh. She thought taking her anger out on Sylvia might make her feel better, that by hurting his twin it would feel the same as hurting him. She was wrong. Tipping her head back, she scrunched up her eyes before letting out a soft huff. “I’m sorry.” Ana said reluctantly, the words short and sharp on her tongue. “Unconditional love’s a bitch.” 

[sylvozera-blog]

“You sure sound it.” Sylvia dead-panned, not hiding the poisonous venom that laced her tone. She didn’t know why she was being attacked by the dhampir; they had never really talked before, so it clearly had to do something with Sebastian. “I’m not my brother, you know,” she murmured more quietly, clenching her jaw. “- not anymore, at least. But it sure is a bitch; unconditional love.”

[cxnstcllations]

“There it is - that Ozera charm. You want to kill me for saying the world is better off without your brother in it ?? Fine. But I notice you didn’t actually tel me I was wrong.” 

[sylvozera-blog]

“Of course you’re right!” Sylvia yelled out. “The world is better off, I’m sure, but not me. You don’t understand - how could you ever understand? I don’t know what to do if he was dead.”

[sylvozera-blog]

comes and goes || self para 2/2

Police sirens were in the distant and Sylvia’s blood ran cold. Juni had left and taken all the warmth with her, or maybe it was already cold and she just didn’t notice until now. The police sirens sounded and Sylvia cried.

She didn’t want to let him go.

She had to let him go.

In a matter of hours, or perhaps it was minutes later, the police were there – not bothering to wait for her to open the door, because she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t get up.

“Ma’am?” One policeman had called out as others filed into the room, no doubt staring at the girl on the floor with the dead body. “You need to let go now.”

That just made her grip even tighter.

“God – it smells like shit in here, I think I might vomit. What the fuck is she doing?”

Sylvia was silent and she seemed to be staring into nothing.

“Shut up, Henderson.”

Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment.

Leave. Just leave.

The scent of one policeman filled her nostrils as he bent down to her level, studying her. Red rimmed eyes stared back at him and Sylvia could feel the discomfort rolling off him in waves. Inwardly, she smiled. You should feel afraid.

He didn’t move away, instead he shifted and laid on the floor, peering out at her through thick eyelashes. “You have to let go. We have to take his body to examine it.”

“I didn’t kill him.” Her words were raw, quiet.

One of the other officers peered down at Sebastian’s body. “Who is it? Is that – the missing kid? Someone needs to call this in. Get the ambulance for transport.”

“His name is Sebastian.”

She could feel someone come up behind her, hands gripping her shoulders. “Let go. Please.”

Sylvia shook her head.

“No. I can’t. I’ll never see him again.”

Her body was being tugged away, her grip slipping, her bones creaking. Sylvia hadn’t moved in hours. “Stop it – STOP IT!”

Over the course of a few hours, police filed in and out of the apartment – someone had police taped it. This wasn’t a crime scene, but there was a dead body.

“Someone needs to get her away from it – this is taking hours. We need the body now.”

“Why? So you can go home and have a good night’s sleep?”

“Shut up.”

Sleep wanted to drag her away in its clutches but she continuously fought it off. No. Sylvia would not give in.

They had tried many things. Talking to her. Pulling her away. Pulling him away. Nothing worked.

In the distant, she could see the frame of someone familiar – probably Juni’s dad, hard at work.

Of course Juni was the one to ring them.

Her jaw clenched.

The last time they tried to get her away from her brother, it worked. She had screamed.

“Stop it – let go, please, you don’t understand – I can’t do this without him – I can’t handle not being able to see him again – I can’t – please.” Sylvia cried. She screamed.

In the end, they had zipped Sebastian up in a body bag and wheeled him out.

Henderson knew her screams would haunt them for the rest of their life – it was inhumane, unnatural. Everything about this town was fucking unnatural.

One policeman picked Sylvia up like she weighed nothing – he could throw her around like a rag doll – and set her on the couch.

He sighed.

She stared.

“Is there anyone I can call? Parents? Relatives?”

No answer.

“Miss. Ozera, if there is no one to call we must call the Moroi Court, or admit you into hospital.”

“Fuck off.”

“Sylvia. Please, we’re just trying to help.”

One breath. Two.

She lifted her head, her vision blurry. “Call Cameron.”

He did and she held the phone to her ear, listening to the ringing. Don’t pick up.

“Hello?”

“He’s dead, Cameron. He’s dead.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

Exactly 45 minutes later, Cameron burst through the door of her home; the too empty and still home of Sylvia Ozera.

Cameron Ivashkov was not only her cousin, but he was her best friend – it had always been that way, but the last time Cameron ever spoke to Sylvia, she had told him to rot in hell. He deserved it, though. He always deserved it. He took one look at her and swore out loud, thanked the officers and sat across from her, staring. Worry pinched his face. He didn’t know how to fix this – there was nothing to fix.

“You know; the last time I ever saw you; you told me to rot in hell. You left and left me there, Sylvia.” He had a right to be resentful, because Sylvia had been a cunt but he was one right back.

Sylvia shrugged, her eyes focusing on nothing but everything at once. “We’re going home, aren’t we?”

He nodded, sighing. “Yeah, we are.”

There was no need to pack any belongings – everything there was replaceable and would be there by the time she got back. If she ever came back.

Sylvia found that her legs wouldn’t work – tried standing up and just fell back down, so Cameron scooped her up in his arms and carried her out to his car.

“You’re still driving your grandmother’s car?” Sylvia asked quietly.

He grunted. “Shut up, it’s a total chick magnet.”

Three hours later and the car rolled to a stop outside of a picket fence, guarding the huge mansion that occupied Celeste Ozera, Ronald Ozera and her brother and sister. “Do they know?” Cameron asked.

Sylvia shook her head.

Cameron whistled lowly, scrambling out of the car. Seconds later, Sylvia was lifted in his arms and carried all the way to the front doorstep, not bothering to knock and instead just walking in.

No one was ever on the first floor – that was for exclusive dinner parties only, so Cameron trudged up the stairs, when a thought dawned on her. To get to her room they had to cut through the living room, where no doubt everyone would be. It was Midnight, so everyone was already up. Fuck.

As if reading her mind, Cameron sighed. “I know. Sorry Sylv.”

Celeste Ozera looked exactly the same the last time Sylvia saw her, which had been months. Her hair was perfectly tied up in a bun, no hair out of place. She was a fan of white – so she wore a white pantsuit with a string of pearls around her neck, which her hands frequently patted, as if someone was going to steal them.

Pearls were fucking ugly anyway.

“Cameron? Who is – Is that Sylvia? What on earth are you doing, carrying her all the way up the stairs? She is a grown woman, who can do that for herself.”

They shared the same discomfort whenever they were around her mother and Cameron coughed awkwardly.

“Well – you see, Aunty, the thing is-”

“Sebastian’s dead.”

The plate slipped from Celeste’s grasp and shattered on the floor, along with her heart.

Now Celeste Ozera truly didn’t have a heart.

{ three days later }

Sylvia had slept in the comfort of her own bed, one that she had not slept in for seven years, for three days. Not once did she wake up to eat or feed, not even when her brother poked her for an hour, not even when her sister brought in Sylvia’s favourite feeders, not even when her father sat at the end of her bed and cried. His grief should have woken her up, but it didn’t.

On the fourth day, an eyelid cracked open. Her lips were dry; her throat was scorching. It was an hour before she crawled out of bed, stepping on Cameron in the process. He groaned, curling up into a ball. “My balls. Sylvia, what the fuck.”

That emitted a giggle from her lips, though that too soon died. “Why are you still here?”

Cameron shrugged. “Couldn’t leave my best friend alone now, could I?”

He took her hand and though neither would admit it; was helping her walk out of her bedroom. “On a scale of one to ten, how shitty do I look, Cam?”

Again, he shrugged. “Around fifteen, I’d say.”

“Dick.”

At the kitchen table, there was a glass of blood on the table and some toast. Sinking down in the seat, she stared at the food with mild disdain, but picked up the glass and thirstily drank from it. Though it was chilled, it was enough.

“Good, you’re awake.” Her mother smiled thinly, walking into the kitchen room with her brother and sister in tow. “Now, for the funeral preparations. We’ll have it at the Church, no doubt, everyone’s going to come. I was thinking-”

“Mum,” Sylvia cut her off and Celeste looked up, surprised. No one ever cut her off. “They won’t allow a Strigoi to enter the church, even if it is a dead one. Besides, I’m not going to the funeral.”

She didn’t know what made everyone silent – the Strigoi comment or her decision. Both were pretty big.

Her brother looked up in surprise. “So he finally did it,” Silas mused quietly, a dark smile on his lips. “When is it your turn, little sister?”

Without skipping a beat, Sylvia threw a knife at him.

He deflected it with a smirk.

“Of course you’re going to the funeral. Don’t be so ridiculous, Sylvia.” Her mother bristled; she was used to ordering people around and them not defying. But of course, her daughter always had to be difficult.

Sylvia chewed on the cold toast slowly, wincing as is slid down her throat at a snail’s pace. “You don’t understand. His body was in a bag dumped on my doorstep, mother. A little note was all I got. The police had to pry his body away from me. Do you know how that feels? Having everything you’ve ever known slip away from you, knowing there’s nothing you can do about it? I’m not going to the funeral, mother, because I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle saying goodbye for a second time.”

That ensued silence all around the table and Sylvia leaned back in satisfaction.

In the end, though, she went to the funeral.

It was a quiet affair; Sylvia’s family attended, a few other friends and people she grew up with. She didn’t know how Juniper was, her phone had been turned off and Sylvia refused to turn it back on, because then she might call Juni and right now, she was angry, because Juni had called the police and left her there – though Sylvia couldn’t blame her. She radiated anger, it flowed through her veins and each breath was hot and full of spark.

She didn’t know if they’d hold a funeral back in Oak Pines, Sylvia didn’t want to ask because she didn’t want to be disappointed in the turnout – if people didn’t show up, or if they did and they praised his death. Immediately, her thoughts slid to Anastasiya and she glared at the balloons tied to the centrepiece. Fuck Balloons, Sylvia thought darkly. Who the hell has balloons at a funeral?

Quite frankly, the funeral was a blur. People got up and pretended to shed tears for the person they didn’t really care about, others recalled hilarious times when Sebastian was actually bearable to be around, and if we’re being honest here, Sylvia doesn’t remember her speech at all. All she remembered was the tears falling and Cameron coming to escort her back to her seat, before they all came back to the mansion to eat and whatnot, Sylvia shuffled into her room and slept some more.

Believe it or not, but Celeste Ozera was not a monster. Yes, she was harsh and strict, but all she ever strived for was to protect her children and one of them had already turned up dead, so she treated herself to the whole bottle of wine that morning, when everybody left.

“Mum?” Sheyenne called out quietly, light footsteps shuffling in the living room, outside of Sylvia’s bedroom. Celeste looked up from the photo album that was resting on her lip. “Hmm?”

No one really knew about Sheyenne. She was the enigma of the family, always lurking in the shadows, watching – but she didn’t really know what she was watching for. “Is Sylvia going to be okay?”

Upon closer inspection, she noted that Sheyenne’s eyes were slightly red and her cheeks puffy.

For once in her life, Celeste didn’t have an answer, but that didn’t mean that she didn’t cry. That was all she ever did. “Of course she will, sweetheart. She’s an Ozera.”

Ozera’s were strong and wealthy. They were politicians or lawyers or diplomats. They always came out on the other side, injured but otherwise unharmed.

The game was changing.

Celeste didn’t like that.

Sheyenne nodded, slinking out of the room, though her eyes were on Sylvia’s door the whole time. Since Sylvia had come home, no one had been in Sebastian’s room. His bed was still unmade and his stack of laundry was still sitting on the floor, though drawers had been opened and things were missing – no doubt they were in Oak Pines.

Deep down she knew that Sylvia wasn’t in her room – hadn’t been since she woke up after a three day sleep, so instead Sheyenne knocked on Sebastian’s door, before slipping in.

Sylvia was curled up in a ball, under the covers, wet tear tracks still evident on her cheeks and Sheyenne thought that maybe, just maybe her mother wasn’t right about this one.

Back in the living room, Celeste nursed the bottle of wine, but no amount of alcohol would ever make her forget that her son was dead.

Now that Sylvia was back home, she was determined to make sure that the living half of the Ozera twins was going to stay alive, and be okay. That was all she ever wanted.

Quietly, Celeste cried, for all that was and was not and was to come.

[juniprescott]

____ LIFEFORMS (suni)

[juniprescott]

      When they were younger, Juni had a horribly embarrassing crush on Sylvia. She’d look to the elder female with such awe, seeing only the perfect display of her hair swept back with not a strand out of place and her immaculate make up and the fact that she could juggle her extra curriculars and still receive high marks in her classes. The only thing she’d ever worried about with her was rejection.

      Juni hated how Sylvia pulling away felt so much like rejection.

      Taking a step back, feeling as if she’d been slapped and not knowing what else to say, she shook her head and tried to swallow the emotions rising in her throat. “Okay.” It was all she managed to get out before she turned and left. As she walked out, she called her father. She knew Sylvia would be mad, most likely hate her, but she couldn’t leave her there like that.

[sylvozera-blog]

Sylvia could feel Juni leave. The room got colder, more lonelier. Emptier. The sudden realisation that she was alone had crushed her, rendering her helpless. So she just cried even harder, wanting to beg Juni to stay, to run out the door and apologise for pushing her away - but why should Sylvia apologise? It wasn’t like she had meant to reject Juni, but her brother was dead and there wasn’t much else to it. She didn’t have time to console Juni, didn’t have time to hug her and kiss her and make her feel better. 

So she laid there, watching the only other person Sylvia loved walk out the door. The door slammed shut and as if on beat, her eyelids closed. God, she was exhausted. In the distance, police sirens sounded. 

She just cried. 

[juniprescott]

____ LIFEFORMS (suni)

[juniprescott]

      “Baby,” she sighed, wanting to know what to say to make this better in some way. Juni refused to accept the fact that she couldn’t fix something for her girlfriend. They used to have superficial issues like hating the town and imagining living in shit hole apartments in the city with dogs with pretentious names and working barely tolerable jobs so they could work their way up and it just being them. Sebastian hadn’t ever quite been in that equation as far as Juni knew, but at least he was alive.

      Trying once more, she pulled the redhead from the body as she seemed distracted for a moment. Squeezing tightly, knowing Sylvia had more strength than her and if she wanted to push off, she could. “I’m sorry, baby. I know. I know, but I’m going to help you. I think… I don’t know.” She held on tighter, not sure if she was doing it for her own comfort as she sniffled and tried to stop her own crying or if it was for her girlfriend who truly needed it.

      Pulling away slightly, she moved her hands to cup Sylvia’s jaw and let their gazes connect. “I don’t know how I did it, but I’ll figure it out. When I was, uhm back when I was out,” she didn’t really want to say ‘in a coma’. Somehow it seemed too dramatic. “I saw my mum, Sylv. It was their weird place, but I saw her and it was real. She said it’s something I can do. Maybe… I don’t know. Maybe we can see him if I can figure out what I did. You could see him again.”

[sylvozera-blog]

Part of her wanted to give in and curl into Juni, wanting to hold her and be held back, but she wouldn’t. She couldn’t let go of Sebastian, because if she did, that would be the last time she’d ever touch him. “How could someone do this?” Sylvia whispered brokenly, breaking out into fresh tears. Her vision blurred and her heart raced, it was so hard to breathe. Sylvia wanted to turn back the clock, all the way back to when her and him started having problems, just so she could drop it all and be his best friend again. Be the twin they each deserved. 

But Sylvia let Juni hold her, just for a few moments, allowing herself to breathe in her scent, before slowly peeling off her, untangling herself from Juni’s grip; no matter how much it pained her to do so. Sylvia crawled back to Sebastian, laying next to him, gripping onto him like before. It was like a scene out of a horror movie; the dead body on the floor, pristinely placed, while someone grieves over them. Sebastian and Sylvia had used to laugh about the bad acting and how melodramatic they were; but this was her reality now. 

Sylvia would always be craving the soul of a ghost. 

There was no way she’d ever be okay again. 

“But you can’t be sure you can do it again, so please - - - please don’t give me false hope, Juni, because I don’t think I can handle it.” She sobbed quietly, wanting to relieve herself of this heartache, because everything hurt too fucking much. 

[aseleznyovs-blog]

He sits at the bar - his usual spot, of course, because Alexei Seleznyov is not nothing if a creature of habit when it comes to everything but his job. Except this time, this time he isn’t drinking. Instead, his chin rests in his hand, and he watches, looking at the bottle of bourbon in front of him. Does he want to drink it? Does he want to go down that rabbit hole again, the same one that he went down when Milah died? His thoughts are jumbled, jarring, so much so that he doesn’t even notice someone slipping into the chair next to him.

“Here to cheer me up or offer advice?” Alexei questioned, his eyes barely shifting from the bottle of caramel coloured liquor. “Or is there a mystery third door option here?”

[sylvozera-blog]

Sylvia didn’t know why she was at a bar, nor did she care. All she knew was that her brother was dead and there was nothing she could do but drink, and she wasn’t even a regular drinker. But she was at a loss of what to do, so she sat down on the stool and ordered a drink. Well, four drinks. All for her. 

Lifting her head up at the voice next to her, she turned. In all honesty, Sylvia was a mess. Her eyes were blood shot, her clothes were rumpled and her hair was unceremoniously tied up behind her, but she didn’t care. Seeing that it was Alexei, she just sighed loudly. That goddamn family. “Believe it or not, but the world doesn’t always revolves around you. There is a mystery third option, however, shutting up and letting me drink.” 

[cxnstcllations]

“Your brother put me in the hospital. I almost died. So feel free to cry about your missing strigoi monstrosity but forgive me if the only tears I shed are ones of joy.” 

[sylvozera-blog]

“You’re about to be in the morgue if you don’t shut the fuck up Anastasiya, otherwise I might be inclined to just rip your head off.”

[juniprescott]

____ LIFEFORMS (suni)

[juniprescott]

      Pressing her lips together, Juni took all of the anger that Sylvia had to give. She wouldn’t get offended by it because she knew her girlfriend was hurt, but that didn’t mean that she could stop her own tears. Wiping at her cheeks, feeling stupid for mourning some that had done so many horrible things to her, Juni bit her cheek. Sylvia didn’t know about Sebastian biting her, didn’t know about every time he hit on her behind Sylvia’s back or when he actually physically acted on his advances and she’d had to use her powers to push him off of her to get away. That wasn’t ever going to be something Sylvia saw, though. From day one, he always came before her. Even when he’d put Juni’s safety at risk, Sylvia always  chose him and the brunette was beginning to see that.

      “Who gives a fuck what Anastasiya thinks? She’s a frigid little twat with no friends, a fucked up family, and hasn’t been laid in years. I’m not going to say I’m happy that he’s dead. I know he’s your brother. I just… I don’t know, I want you to be okay and I don’t know how to fix this.” Sighing, she leant against the wall and chanced a look at his body once more. Only grimacing came to her. No answers, no plan, no brilliant spark of inspiration on how to solve this problem. There wasn’t much fixing death. Well, not one that she really could master quickly enough.

      Narrowing her eyes, she bit her lip because she hadn’t actually told Sylvia what she was yet, just wishing to keep it to herself as long as possible, but Juni was desperate to calm the redhead down. “I might… I can’t right now, but I might be able to help you say goodbye to him at least. Face to face… kind of.”

[sylvozera-blog]

“Juni, I’m never going to be okay again. You can’t fix this.” Sylvia cried out, a fresh wave of anguish and grief rocked her body, another thing that reminded her that she was still here. Still alive. Still feeling. “I feel like - - - I feel like there’s only half of me. Sebastian probably never felt this way, but I do. I just... There’s nothing left. I’m empty. So empty.” 

Though the comments about Anastasiya did warm her, the feeling soon evaporated. Sylvia was genuinely at a loss of what to do, she had always felt more of Sebastian, he had shaped her entire life and her behaviour, so knowing that he was dead, left her feeling like she had an identity crisis. There was Sylvia, barely nine hours old and linked pinky fingers with Sebastian. There was Sylvia and Sebastian, seven years old and trading sarcastic smiles. Every year they had their birthday. He seemed to be always there, so she could never imagine a time where he just wasn’t... there. She never would’ve imagined dying alone until she was forced to face that reality too. 

Listening to Juni’s words, she frowned, lifting her head up to try and focus on her. It took some time, but Sylvia was finally able to focus on Juni. “I’m... What?”

[cassiemircea-blog]

“Because it would be fun and who doesn’t like having fun?”

[sylvozera-blog]

“Well, I do like having fun, but I don’t even know your name.”

[juniprescott]

____ LIFEFORMS (suni)

[juniprescott]

      “Sylvie…” Juni didn’t know how to help or what to say and she backed off immediately. Possibly took quickly. Not sure what hurt more, being rejected or this sinking realisation of the weight of the situation or Sylvia’s pain, Juni felt her throat closing now. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. He’s gone, she wanted to say it, but she wasn’t that insensitive, but just the thought hit her like a freight train. Sebastian was gone.

      Why was she crying? Sebastian wasn’t her twin, he wasn’t her blood, but she had no siblings and only her father for most of her life. When she found people, she clung to them. Dimitri, Sylvia, Alexis, Nathaniel, Daniel, and even Sebastian —- they were family to her. “Sylvia, please. You can’t stay like this forever. It’s…” It’s not healthy. He couldn’t come back. he was gone.

      As she kept repeating ot herself that Sebastian was gone, Juni felt herself growing less and less steady. Her breaths came out rapidly and unevenly, her chest and throat tight. This was something she didn’t know how to fix. Picking her dad up and putting away an open bottle of bourbon and tucking him into bed was easy. Letting Nate crawl into her room and fall down next to her when he didn’t want to be alone was easy. Telling Alexis that boys just sucked and things would get better was a no brainer. Even hearing that Daniel was a Banshee seemed easier than this.

      For one horrible second, she realised that she was going to miss him and that wasn’t her right. “Sylvia, you have to get up. We have to do something. You can’t just… leave him there. He’s… this isn’t…” She couldn’t form words properly and suddenly she realised that tears were sliding down her cheeks and her voice was cracking.

[sylvozera-blog]

“We’ve never been apart,” Sylvia whispered quietly, though that wasn’t true. Well, in a sense it was true, but physically they had been living away from each other for five years before he had come to Oak Pines. “I don’t know how to do this without him.” That was the terrible thing about twins. Twins were, in a sense, always together, from being born together and celebrating every milestone together, so it was unnatural for her to carry on without him. Twins weren’t supposed to die separately, so that seemed to be the tragedy of it all. 

As Juni kept talking, Sylvia grew increasingly frustrated, tears spilling over her cheeks. “Don’t you think I know that?” She groaned out, as if just talking sent her into more pain. “I know I need to, but I can’t. You don’t understand, how could you possibly understand, Juni? You’re not a twin.” Those words came out harsh when they weren’t meant to be and Sylvia had half an apology out before swallowing it back up. Why should she apologise? She was in grief. 

“Don’t you think I know I have to do something? When the police get involved, everyone’s going to know. People will have a fucking celebration that he’s dead and they won’t even care that I was left behind. All they will see is that the monster is gone, the cruel and sadistic moroi he was died, they won’t even see him like I do. They don’t see a brother, a twin. They don’t see the little kid he once was. All they see is a monster. Do you know what Anastasiya said to me when she found out he was missing? Good. And then she said that the world would be a safer place, because I asked her what she thought if he was dead. She said that to my face, Juni. No one’s going to care that my brother is dead.” 

[juniprescott]

____ LIFEFORMS (suni)

[juniprescott]

      Processing that Sebastian was dead was impossible in the moment. Things didn’t quite add up. She couldn’t figure out why his eyes had turned from their light shade to a deep crimson nor how he had died or why his body was so pristinely laid upon the floor as if staged. Something twisted in her stomach making nausea hit her once more and the psychic raised her hand to her mouth to keep from throwing up. How was Sylvia just laying there with him when Juni couldn’t even take the smell or the sight.

      Despite popular belief, Juni didn’t hate Sebastian. She wanted to, she had a right to after everything that he would put her through, but she didn’t hate him. More than anything, she pitied him. Sebastian was always the odd man out, a little too weird or in himself and everything felt so extra with him, but she never had thought he was a bad person. Not intentionally at least. There was no saying he was a good person, but there were times when he did things that showed he had a conscience and a heart somewhere beneath that sadistic exterior.

      It came through most in regards to Sylvia, for the most part, and Juni wouldn’t excuse anything he’d done, but he didn’t deserve to die for it. She’d seen him weak and vulnerable and needing his sister once and that image was more haunting than him sinking his fangs into Juni’s neck or all the times he’d cornered her and made her uncomfortable with is sexual advances. Looking at him now, there was that same helplessness and it made her avert her gaze back to the living Ozera twin.

     “Sylvie…” She didn’t know what to say. Surprisingly, Juni had never dealt with death. Her grandparents were alive, her father was in relatively good health, and all of her friends seemed to know how to stay out of trouble. Not well versed in how to give her sympathy or if that was even necessary, all she knew was that she needed to call her father and have the body dealt with and she needed to get Sylvia away from it. “Come here, baby. You can’t… You’ve got to let go.” She chided lightly, crouching down to tug at the red head and pull her into her arms. Juni wanted to say it was okay to cry or that she was here, but her eyes kept darting back to Sebastian’s body and bile overpowered any soothing words she could think of.

[sylvozera-blog]

To say that Sylvia would’ve moved mountains for Sebastian was an understatement. She acted like she hated him to people who expected that reaction, who saw her as the lesser of two evils, and at times it seemed like she genuinely did hate him. But she didn’t hate him at all. Their relationship was complicated that no one could understand, but Sylvia would’ve raised hell for him. She would’ve done anything and before his death, it seemed like that would be her downfall. But it wasn’t. 

His death was her downfall. 

Sylvia could feel it now, the urge to turn Strigoi and cut herself off from everything good and magical because she felt like she didn’t deserve it. Turning Strigoi would be a way to cut herself off from ever feeling this miserable and empty ever again, because this pain was unbearable. Every time she moved it felt like a thousand knives in her stomach, it felt like her fire element was burning her from the inside out. Everything was fucking miserable and Sylvia was unable to do anything about it. 

“No,” she croaked out as Juni tried to coax her from his body and towards her. “Don’t make me let go, please. I can’t - they’ll take him away. I’ll never see him again, please Juni, don’t... I’ll never get to see him again. The police will take him away, just give me this time - stop it - I don’t want to let go.” Her fingers gripped his body even harder, trying to shake Juni off, burying her head in the crook of his neck, just like she did when they were little. 

“If I let go, I’ll never see him again.”

[cxcalibur]

“So you don’t want a drink ??”

[sylvozera-blog]

“I think I’ve already had too many, but I’m sure one more wouldn’t hurt.”

[cassiemircea-blog]

“Uh, well is there anyway that I can get you to say yes?”

[sylvozera-blog]

“Why do you want me to say yes?”

[juniprescott]

____ LIFEFORMS (suni)

      “I have four finals left. Four.” She said to the empty hallway as she kicked off her shoes and closed the front door behind her. “That means that I only have four more classes until I’m free for the summer and you can have me all to yourself.” Juni bit her lip, excited for this summer despite the past few months. Summer meant sun and tourists and tips and most of all it meant that she and Sylvia were finally going to be good again. She’d spent months pining after the redhead, literal years of her high school life just watching her and too much of a wimp to do anything about her crush, but then they’d dated and that was blissful until Juni fucked it up. They were together again. She didn’t want anything to ruin that this time.

      “Sylvie, are you home? I saw your car, come on. Hide and seek is so not my thing right now.” She couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face as she started to go through the rooms in search of her girlfriend. “Come on, I want to talk about our summer plans. We can lay in bed and I can eat you out for hours or we can go to Newport, we can even go all the way up to the city because I haven’t been to New York in too long. I can spend the night with you finally instead of going home halfway through because I have class in the morning.” At this point she was rambling as she continued to search, her voice faltering as she though that maybe she really was alone.

      Then the stench hit her.

      Juni called out her girlfriend’s name one more time before she found the redhead and the sight made her want to vomit. Bile rose in her throat and burned as she tried to swallow it down. “Sylvie, what…” Her question died on her tongue as her eyes stayed trained on the pale, unmoving body of Sebastian and she realised the source of the foul smell she’d noted earlier.

[sylvozera-blog]

Sylvia couldn’t believe it. He was truly dead. Sebastian, the fearless and psychotic moroi-strigoi, who probably believed that nothing would ever hurt him, was dead. For the first time in almost twenty-two years, she was alone. And she hated it. By God Sylvia hated the loneliness she had felt, because with Sebastian, there was always this connection. The faint hum of familiarity. She stopped feeling it the day he died, but convinced herself it was nothing. Until the bag was dumped on her door. 

In the distance Sylvia could hear someone - probably Juni, rambling, but she didn’t lift her head up to check. No, she stayed right where she was; clinging to his lifeless form, the stench long-forgotten. It too, became something familiar. Her fingers dug into his cold skin, blood coated her body. 

It looked like a murder scene. 

But Sylvia wasn’t the one who murdered him. 

The note was long-forgotten on the floor next to the bag, with the words seared onto her brain. Condolences. It was a necessary sacrifice. Nothing about this was necessary. Twins were born together and they died together, that was something Sylvia was told. They always stuck together through thick and thin; that’s why Sylvia constantly defended him to Juni, to Gunner and Dimitri, to Nate and Alexis, to anyone who ever said a bad word about him: she agreed. He was a horrible person. 

But he was her horrible person. 

Momentarily she lifted her head and looked up at Juni, empty eyes staring at the girl she loved, before settling back. “He’s dead, Juni. He’s dead.” Was all she mumbled out, her voice cracked and broken from being unused too long; throat burning. All that screaming had left her raw.