welcome to my personal hell @syscoursehell - Tumblr Blog

welcome!

they/them! i’m the host of a polyfragmented, professionally-recognized DID system seeking diagnosis! you can call me either Pasha or Koshka, both are fine!

the body is in it’s 20s, chronically ill, and disabled. autism/adhd, DID, schizoaffective, and OCD are all you need to know.

we are anti-endogenic in the sense that we once identified as endogenic, and later did our research and no longer are a member of that community. we are okay with discussions on our blog between us and endogenic systems, as long as you keep things civil.

we’re anti-tulpa system. it is cultural appropriation and racist. we are also against gateway systems, system-hopping, and the likes. if you want us to talk about it more or want to have a discussion, that’s fine, but our belief is set.

we may seem rough, but we’re really friendly in reality. we just made this blog to be able to discuss syscourse, my main fixation as a neurodivergent system at the moment.

ext. byf here! give it a read before you follow us. if you like our content, you can buy us a coffee! there’s no pressure, just if anyone wants to.

come and say hi in our inbox! we don’t bite, as long as you’re polite.

#syscourse #introduction #did system #discourse #system discourse #dissociative system #syscourse blog

sleepy-shutin

hey, for anyone concerned, it appears that sophieinwonderland has another account entirely, not just a second blog, that you may want to block if you've blocked sophieinwonderland. this blog is the blog in the screenshot, dreamchaserguild, which is already sophieinwonderland's system name (evidence that they are the same person and two different accounts is below).

a friend found this while going through the likes of one of her posts to find people to block, which also means she's liking her own posts... for some reason.

here is evidence that the blog belongs to sophie:

as you can see in the first screenshot, the person liked it from the URL dreamchaserguild. if you know tumblr, you know that you can't like from a sideblog, you can only like from a main blog, so when you like a post, it shows up as your main.

it wasn't hard to find a post on sophie's blog that she liked before reblogging, so this clearly shows that these two blogs are on two separate accounts, which means she can use these two separate accounts to block-evade if she wanted to look at the blogs of people who have her blocked.

whether it's her intention to block-evade or not, i can't actually say, but even if it's not her intention, on that separate account, she can still see the blogs of people who have her blocked on sophieinwonderland, which many people may not like, which is why i'm bringing this to attention.

it's worth noting that you can see a link in sophie's pinned post on her blog that directly links to this dreamchaserguild blog, and it mentions all her headmates by name, so it's not like she's trying to hide it, but it's not exactly immediately obvious that these are two entirely separate accounts. you can't tell that unless you know which accounts are actually liking from their mains.

i'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she just doesn't know how to use tumblr or what an *actual* sideblog is (neither of these are sideblogs, they are two separate main blogs on different accounts), rather than implying she actually wants to be a scummy asshole and block evade people on purpose.

in that case, sophie, learn what a fucking sideblog is, because you've been referring to these blogs as sideblogs when they are not. they are two separate main accounts. people should know this if they want to block you.

if you want to know how to make an actual sideblog and even how to transfer one of those blogs to your other account, you can PM me and i will happily tell you (genuinely). if not, don't, i don't care, i'm not your dad.

so in conclusion: block who you need to block for your mental stability. if you don't have or want sophie blocked, then ignore this post.

sleepy-shutin

@subject-13

to put it simply, sophieinwonderland is the blog of a tulpa on tumblr who willfully spreads misinformation on DID and speaks over people of color when they say that the term "tulpa" is a bastardized and racist term for a (tibetan) buddhist practice, (as told to me by people who actually practice (tibetan) buddhism). the term "tulpa" originated from a woman in the 1930s writing a book on "magic and mystery" in tibet while she traveled through. sophie ignores this fact and doesn't care, and if you try to criticize her, she will most likely ignore you.

even in regards to DID and the misinformation she spreads on it, she will ignore you if you criticize her, even when backing your argument thoroughly with papers, she will always bring up hypotheticals that don't exist and act like they're a gotcha.

to her credit, i like that she is trying to help endogenic systems and other forms of plurals outside of DID by trying to find credible sources on them, but for the time being, they don't really exist outside of surveys of personal experiences, and the way she misrepresents papers on DID or other subjects to be about endos is incredibly irritating. go write your OWN research paper if you care so much, sophie. don't misinterpret papers that aren't about plurality.

because of these things, people like to block her a lot, which is why i made this post when i realized that sophie has two different accounts entirely, especially considering how in the past she has taken screenshots of accounts who allegedly have her blocked.

so, block who you need to block for your mental stability and all that, take care of yourselves.

heads up some rando called did-is-not-real is following systems. block, report, and move on. dont bother giving them attention, its what they want. have a good one

#probably some reddit r/fakedisordercringe troll. dont waste your time giving them attention lmao

sysmedsaresexist

I went on a rant to friends and now I'm posting it here

The ToSD as a "theory"

Instead of arguing about what a theory IS, let's talk about the actual phenomenon itself

Talking about what makes a theory a theory is pointless and only clouds the actual conversation that's trying to happen. It's misleading and dismissive. It's meant to silence people that support the trauma theory and to derail useful conversations

There's physical evidence supporting the ToSD

It's the most widely accepted trauma theory

Why are we arguing about it though-- Can you describe what the theory actually is? Does anyone even know what their issue with ToSD is? Can you actually explain your problem with it? Or are you just arguing because you know other people are arguing over it?

"It's ableist"

How?

"It doesn't account for endogenics"

It's not about endogenics, why would it do that

"It doesn't explain daydreaming--"

What is the author's definition of dissociation?

"It doesn't account for DA or DPDR-"

Yes, it does

In the field of psychology, the only things standing in its way are iatrogenesis/fantasy and the definition of dissociation, and the authors have clarified their definition, and iatrogenesis is... Disproven. Thoroughly.

There are actual brain scans that support the theory.

How much more evidence does it need before we can stop just dismissing it outright and derailing conversations into arguments about semantics?

Disproving the ToSD is about proving the fantasy theory-- ToSD is the prevailing theory for the trauma model vs the sociocognitive model

It's a talking point from early syscourse, back in the natural multiple period meant to support that DID/multiplicity was possible outside of trauma (at the time, the theory was known as the continuum of dissociation, and was mostly worked on by Braun), that's why there's no actual argument against it except, "it's just a theory"

The point is to just shut down the conversation

sysmedsaresexist

I've heard one of my posts is causing waves

Here's some more things that are normal in DID/OSDD systems, and some weird myths, in no particular order

- Not realizing you're a system until later is normal (average age of system discovery is 18-21)

- It's rare for children to display distinct alters (not impossible, just a rare occurrence in a rare disorder (based on numbers, it's considered rare, yes), alters tend to form in mid-teens)

- Feeling as though you "created" an alter is normal (related to unconscious feelings of control over an uncontrollable situation, and/or tricking yourself into an explanation, also, if you have a need to be filled, the brain WILL provide)

- "mixed origin systems" are totally normal for DID/OSDD. I have a couple alters that could be considered "endogenic", but I'm really just... DID, with normal alters forming in normal ways

- Alters forming at any age/time is normal (you can form a brand new alter at fifty, after having undergone complete fusion, once the ability is there, it's always possible to split)

- Alters don't always appear immediately after a traumatic event (alters can take YEARS to come to front after forming, making it impossible to tie them to specific events unless THEY'RE aware of the connection)

- Alters can form from stress, not just trauma (and the brain is notoriously good at hiding how stressed you are from yourself)

- Comfort splits ARE normal in DID/OSDD

- The amnesia criteria in DID doesn't mean you need to experience amnesia day-to-day, you still have DID if you can't remember childhood events but have good communication now

- The dysfunction criteria is redundant and circular, where the symptoms themselves fulfill the criteria, and as per the DSM, doesn't imply any inherent need for treatment or distress-- so being happy, loving your system, feeling like your system helps you more than it hinders you, all normal (and good!) but still DID/OSDD

- OSDD 1a does not involve alters as they're known, but states or modes that influence you, and amnesia occurs during these periods of influence; OSDD 1b involves "emotional amnesia" only (which is just a stupid, fancy word for dissociation (an emotional disconnect from a memory) that doesn't actually exist in the medical world)

- You can have as many EPs and ANPs as you'd like. The majority of systems with OSDD feel as though the one ANP theory doesn't fit them, and there have recently been updates to theories to acknowledge this

- Integration is the lowering of dissociative barriers to allow for better communication between system members, and is absolutely necessary for functional multiplicity (fusion is the joining of two or more alters). These definitions come from the ISSTD, and it IS recognized by the ISSTD that integration and functional multiplicity are viable and attainable treatment goals. Keep this in mind when conversations about these topics come up-- if you can communicate clearly with alters, you're already well integrated. It's not scary, it's not bad, and no one can or will make you fuse.

- CPTSD, the basis of dissociative disorders and DID, presents very differently from PTSD -- mostly presenting as a negative view of the self and vigilance rather than the flashbacks and nightmares you'd see in PTSD (it's quite similar to BPD, but the view of the self is negative rather than unstable). If you resonate with some aspects of BPD and have a system, and you don't experience the "typical" presentation of PTSD, that's normal. That's CPTSD (complex PTSD, not chronic PTSD), maybe read up on it.

- You don't need to know your trauma to acknowledge that you have DID/OSDD, and no one should be pushing that you search for trauma. Who cares, move at your own pace, maybe you'll never figure it out, and that's perfectly fine. People who push others about their trauma will face my wrath.

- Trauma isn't an action, but a REACTION to an event. What traumatizes one person, may not have any effect on another person, and vice versa. This isn't about what might have happened to you, but how you felt about it. There is no Trauma Olympics, and people who play that way are ridiculous. Trauma reactions are personal and unique, and come from anything-- bullying, isolation and loneliness, abuse. And yes, other disorders can make you more susceptible to trauma reactions. Having autism or ADHD or BPD, EDs, psychosis, schizophrenia-- all of these create more opportunities for trauma reactions, and make someone more susceptible. That doesn't mean you're not trauma based. It doesn't mean those things caused your system. It means those things made it harder for you to navigate life and left you more susceptible to trauma. That's it.

- MADD is typically trauma based

There's so, so many more. Other DID/OSDD systems, feel free to add on, endogenic systems, ask if something is normal.

sysmedsaresexist

I’ve been asked for some sources and I’m happy to provide! Thank you, friendo, for your patience <3 Getting things done in a timely matter is hard when you have 12 sets of priorities.

1) Are comfort splits normal? Yes! This is a PDF, careful if you’re on phone, but I’ll highlight the important bit. This is a bit of an older paper by Kluft about dealing directly with alters in therapy, and it discusses, “DID patients who are extremely avoidant, obsessive, or without strong nondissociative defenses are prone to develop larger numbers of alters. For the group without strong nondissociative defenses, dissociation is not a last-ditch defense--it is their first response to stress... [They] imaginatively transform their histories to conform to myths, movies, television shows, or pieces of literature and generate large numbers of alters to play roles in them.” When he says “large numbers” we’re not only talking about polyfragmented systems (he wrote other papers specifically about that). In this case he’s talking about a feedback loop in patients with low dissociative barriers-- forming one alter and then another to support that alter, and then another to support that one, and on and on. It’s in reference to ease in which some people gain alters, especially from media that they are interested in.

From Coping With Trauma Related Dissociation

From The Haunted Self:

2) Do 'most systems discover themselves at 18-21'? This one is a little bit of a... confusing topic and it’s currently changing at an ever-increasing rate. The ability to recognize symptoms in oneself has become much easier with current media and the internet at our fingertips. This figure it based on the community currently in the clinical population. For decades, it’s been possible for those with DID to go their entire lives without ever realizing they even had a dissociative disorder, let alone alters. This is based on the very nature of DID, confusing presenting symptoms, and on the lack of resources available to older individuals at the time they experienced onset.

While alters can appear at any age, we’re talking about the self-realization of symptoms. The below states that self-discovery would occur around early twenties. [x]

Only five percent of people display overt symptoms, or clear symptoms of specifically DID. Instead, they display an array of symptoms indicative of several different disorders. From childhood, these symptoms can put someone on the path of treatment and diagnosis for something entirely different, and symptoms are explained away under another label. For example, shifting identity states, needs, and wants can also be seen in BPD, and it can take years before those states are acknowledged by either patient or clinician as alters.

Prior to the internet and easily accessible support groups online, patients were often left to figure it out themselves, and the lack of recognition and awareness of DID left many questioning their experiences for years. 18 is typically when adolescents leave the house for the first time. This removal from their traumatic environment allows someone to start exploring their experiences in a safer way, often leading to the first indication that something more serious might be happening.

This is also typically when heavily regimented schedules change, and a person gains more social freedom. From this, potential instances of amnesia and alters are often pointed out by friends and more easily recognized. For example, someone in their last year of highschool might be asked, "how was school today?" and without hesitation will answer, "it was fine, the usual," despite the fact that they don't actually remember their day. This is an example of "amnesia for amnesia". Because grade school and highschool is a daily occurrence with a relatively unchanging schedule (ie, math in the morning, SS in the afternoon, gym after lunch, and history last) that moves at a slow pace, losing a single day or memory is very likely to go unnoticed.

In contrast, college typically has one class only once or twice a week for a longer period of time and the pace of learning is much quicker. Losing a day of memory here would be much more easily noticed. Freedom to go out with friends at any time allows for more opportunities for people to notice shifts in personality, and there's more social outings that could be forgotten.

3) 'alters can form from stress, not just trauma'? See the first quote in point 1 as a highlight of this. In addition, stress and childhood trauma are intrinsically related [x]. Childhood trauma often leaves someone with a lifelong vulnerability to stress, and their ability to handle that stress is significantly impaired. This can lead to worsening symptoms and a reliance on negative coping mechanisms (such as dissociation). [x] This means that once the mechanisms are there, some people can split at literally the smallest inconveniences. The mind is also notoriously good at hiding how stressed you are, so you may not even realize that you're stressed at all [x] [x] [x].

4) children don't display distinct alters?

From the DSM 5

ICD 11

ISSTD Children Treatment guidelines (PDF)

I like this section from Healing the Fractured Child on what it could look like.

ai-brackets

ROUND 1, PAIR 9

syscoursehell

migraineeyes

Voting ended onMar 27, 2023

syscoursehell

SYSCOURSEHELL SWEEP BABY

acetoneperoxyde

lowkey i hope @syscourse-brackets catalyzes a new era of decreased tensions, good-faith dialogue and mutual understanding

i want to believe that there really can be an end to this infernal nonsense once and for all and we can all go do other things with our lives

sysmedsaresexist

Want to point that one out in the DSM?

Hmmmmm, let's see... BPD?

No, identity disturbance, but not identity alteration. This is a distinction in OSDD 1 and 2.

Huh, and DID and Dissociative Disorders aren't a differential at all for BPD.

Let's see what DID says.

Oh, it says BPD doesn't have different identities. Who could have guessed.

What about Schizophrenia?

Wow, that's pretty clear about how they're different.

And MaDD? Hey, fun fact, the guy who came up with the concept thinks that's what endogenics are experiencing.

If we're really going to focus in on the word "associated", like we do with DID, you would think if it was even remotely possible, they might have something in there by now-- "associated with identity alteration/self states/anything".

oh, yeah! our ask box is open if anyone wants to send us anything, idc if its syscourse related or not. also if you ask off-anon please specify whether or not you want it answered privately, thank you!

new discourse topic what do you think of the whole "plural hoarde" thing going on? search up "Posic" or an affiliated tag on tumblr or something i dont know how to explain it lol

Anon I know you sent this months ago but I couldn't find anything very in-depth on the topic. I know from the name of it, this topic likely has to do with the idea of "hoarding plural origins" but if someone could send me anything relevant on the topic, please let me know. Thanks!