An artist that thinks in color
But can only afford pencils
Yearns for a bright life
Dulled by circumstance

Kaledo Art

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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
ojovivo
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
KIROKAZE

oozey mess
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
will byers stan first human second

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Keni
Stranger Things
occasionally subtle

Discoholic 🪩
Show & Tell
DEAR READER

JBB: An Artblog!
dirt enthusiast
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@t-soll
An artist that thinks in color
But can only afford pencils
Yearns for a bright life
Dulled by circumstance
“But no matter how mad I’ve been, I never for one second stopped wanting you here with me.”
— Colleen Hoover
loving someone through their flaws. does that turn you into their flaws. Does loving someone so deeply when they beat you down turn you into the beater. Do you become the abuser after being abused? What if i loved you so much that i became you. I became the worst parts of you. But what if that’s an excuse. I was scared of getting hurt. But instead i became the toxic one. I loved you through you toxic moments and our toxic love. But then i became the person that was toxic. I feel toxic. I feel vile and evil and everything in between. But i don’t know if that’s because you said i am so many times, or because it is what i have become. I’m scared. I’m scared because what if i am everything you say i am, what if i am lost and forgotten and evil and jealous. i’m scared that i’m not but, i believe you. I still believe you. I’m scared because i now constantly question who i am and every action i make. is it because i’m selfish or because i actually care? I care. So much. So much to the point that the drop of a stranger’s tone at the mention of my name makes me question my fundamental existence. I care too much. I think too much. I put in too much effort. I ask too much. I question too much. Until I don’t. Until i take a step back and stop. i stopped asking and calling and visiting. But once i did that, it wasn’t enough. Now you were ready for my love, i was too scared to give it. I was terrified of it being thrown in my face, terrified of my love not being enough or too much.
i couldn’t do it again.
i couldn’t.
I was told to imagine my happy place, a place I felt safe. Why did I think of waking up next to you on an early morning. I can still imagine it now.
Lazily looking over, watching your chest rise and fall. Moving closer to you, lying my hand on your strong shoulder. Tracing your lines and looping around your freckles playfully. Surprising me you grab my waist and pull me in without even opening your eyes. Your lips find my forehead and then my lips. We break apart and I smile against you. Bringing my hands to your face, you let out a soft sigh and wrap your arms tightly around me and your eyes flutter open.
~ endless pages from my journal // nervousoutcome
List to remind myself about the bad things you were so that i dont get back to being with you, AGAIN!
You loved me conditionally, according to your convinience.
You were never passionate to try to solve problems of our relationship, you always backed off, you avoided tough conversations. It made me doubt your commitment and made me feel insecure.
You always knew things that hurt me, and you continued to do that only to suit your peace. For your peace, you never thought of being with me when i was anxious.
You always gave me reasons not be able to be there when i needed you. You emphasised on your life problems to avoid romantic commitment, you will always have problems in life to give reasons... But when you look beyond everything to love someone, that is some real love!
My time in life is when i need the most love and support, but you didnt.
You never cared about how i felt everytime we fought or when anything else that made me feel miserable.
I cried but you never bothered, i shouted but you didnt listen. I stayed quiet, but you didnt ask why.
You never understood me without me having to tell you that there is something wrong.
My future with you is very uncertain. My aspirations of future with you will always be unmet.
Your family will never accept me for who i am. They are very orthodox.
Our views about life and living are very different. We will never be compatible of we both dont try. But you never try.
Love is never enough!
- TalesofTogetherness
That’s the point…
“You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs.”
— (via words-of-emotion)
https://www.instagram.com/pbuddhaproject/
Why Is Everyone Happy But Me? Dealing with Unwanted Feelings
Why do we start working on ourselves? Why do we look up posts on the internet that help us deal with life and ourselves? Why do we go to therapy? Why do we do all these things?
Have you ever thought about it?
As for me, I started looking into self-development when I was going through a very difficult time with anxiety. It’s pretty obvious that I started searching around for help because I wanted to get better. I wanted to feel better, because I was feeling horrible most of the time. My life was not very enjoyable, and I didn’t like it. I wanted to be happy. Or at least happier.
Most people who are peaceful and happy didn’t start out that way. They began improving themselves because they were unhappy and non-peaceful.
So what does that tell us? People want to better themselves because they want to feel better.
That’s not a bad thing, of course. We should learn to enjoy our lives and understand ourselves. It’s the most useful skill to have. But there are holes we can fall into unexpectedly. And that’s what I want to talk about today.
As I said, I started practicing mindfulness when I was having a rough time. Meditation and mindfulness practices helped me immensely. Immensely. They helped me understand how my mind works and how I can practice responding to my own habitual patterns.
But I did make mistakes in the process. One of these mistakes was that I believed that if I practiced long enough, I could eliminate discomfort. That these practices would completely remove my fears. And there were times when meditation was a way for me to avoid unease. Because I wanted to be in that special, peaceful state of mind, always.
I thought that was possible. I thought that’s what I was supposed to be doing. I thought that if I wasn’t peaceful and comfortable all the time, I was doing something wrong. That feeling even a tiny bit uncomfortable was my fault.
I put myself down whenever I was not feeling great. I thought it was the sign of my own failure.
But like I always say, just because you think something does not make it true. And like a lot of my thoughts, these ones ended up being untrue as well.
It’s easy to mistake meditation and mindfulness with feeling good and being at peace. But meditation is not about feeling good at all. Actually, if we think that, we just set ourselves up for failure, because let me tell you: Everyone experiences mental and physical discomfort. Everyone. Even the most experienced meditator or the wisest Zen master.
Meditation is not about fixing ourselves, it’s about learning to relax with ourselves. With understanding and acceptance.
We can never avoid discomfort, no matter how many years we practice. You might look at Zen masters and think they never feel uncomfortable, but that’s not true. They just learned how to relate to discomfort. They don’t expect to feel perfect and comfortable all the time. They know that’s just how human life is and accepted it with peace.
We might feel that peace can only come to us if we push discomfort away or try to fix ourselves. But peace happens when we are able to sit with our discomfort without trying to fix it, and instead of hardening, we let it soften us. Read more>>
(via Why Is Everyone Happy But Me? Dealing with Unwanted Feelings)
She was not like everyone else, simply because she didn’t care about things. Instead, her heart yearned for new places, people, and experiences that would inspire her to become greater in spirit and live as freely as her heart loved.
Jose Chaves (via lovelustquotes)