The Single Struggle - Mom Guilt
Being a single mother is hard work! Try being a full time working, nursing school student, and a single mother!! —-seriously try it, then tell me about how it made you feel!! It feels a lot like jumping on a trampoline with a sibling and when you try to stand up they double bounce you and knock you right back down! What about feel alone!? I’m probably the most social loneliest person ever!! I’m usually alone at work, alone while I go to school, just to come home to a empty house. Yes, going to school and working full time makes it hard to keep a home together. I have a serious support system so serious that I usually dont even hear from them unless it’s an emergency! Yet, I’m struggling to be this amazing super mom you see on every social media there is to mankind! 😞 HERE IT IS MOM GUILT! I’m no longer at activities, helping with school work, or even tucking my baby in bed anymore. I know I’m judged by many! I also hope I’m inspiring other single parents to work hard to give their children the life they deserve! Trust me I didn’t get here over night and I’ve had to over come many obstacles mentally and physically! It hasn’t been easy and it isn’t easy right now. I’ve cried everyday for the past 17 days! 😳 I could have crawled into a few bottles of wine but that isn’t an option the way my goals are set up! Honestly, I usually cry in the shower. I do this because I don’t want my daughter to see me struggling. Recently she has realized that I cry in the shower! 🙄 She is learning and seeing the struggle. I hope she realizes that life is not easy and for most of us it isn’t given!! Being a mother isn’t easy! I have personally flipped my child off when she turn to walk away!! I’m not proud of it but it happened!🤷🏼♀️ Children are the most honest little monster on the planet! They have not learned how sharp words can be as they fly out of their mouths! This brings me back to the MOM GUILT! My child is a smart young lady in all areas school, back talking, and pranks! She has it covered! She has learn to play my little tight support system very well! She plays us against one another and just completely gets past all of us! Her grades started to slip! Which never has happened until mommy went to nursing school! First one up to bat... ME! My daughter “ Well you just work on all your school work all the time or you’re always working”! Okay, I do work 35-40 hours a week and I go to school 24 hours a week. I get it everyone is feeling neglected but that was a dagger straight to my heart! As a mother I want to be the go to person to fix everything. Unfortunately, I am not able to be that person right now and it has weighed me down. I reached out on my personal Facebook and I’m so happy I did! Because I’m not feeling alone anymore! I know there are other struggling too! I just hope when you feel like giving up; you stand back up && stand your ground! Nobody can get you to your dreams or goals for you!! Just like other animals we too adapt to our surroundings and situations! I listen to Rachel Hollis podcast! She is amazing! She inspires me to keep pushing through the struggle!! Her story is amazing! Here on out there will be no more MOM GUILT for me! Because what I am doing is for a better life for myself and my turkey girl!
Thank you for reading! This is me just blogging my everyday transparent life!