Caught in a Lie @taemint - Tumblr Blog

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puppy hugging the members one by one

💚 Remembering Jonghyun 💚

Jonghyun has left an amazing legacy in so many fields, so here is a list of the lil random Jonghyun moments that never failed to make me laugh or smile…My beautiful angel, I’ll always thank you for bringing so much joy and hope into my life.

Like a Fire concert version adlibs

His savageness towards DoniConi on Weekly idol - JjongPD “IT’S JUST ‘CTRL C, CTRL V’”

Speaking of Weekly idol - Jonghyun’s competitiveness that rivalled Minho’s. Who else would do that many push ups for a tiny piece of beef??

Him oneshotting some Cola lololoolol

High note battle with a soldier

Walking Listerine CF during Crazy era

Jonghyun and his ice bucket challenge, wanting to get all the Jonghyun’s together

Hacking into SMTOWN’s youtube channel to post a video of Roo

Jonghyun and puppy Comme Des

The birth of Taemin fanclub president - when he got drunk, fanboyed and came up with the nickname Dracula Oppa

Falling into the little hole where your legs were meant to go and waving cutely whilst dancing Everybody on Hello Counsellor

When Onew threw the pen in Beatle’s Code and it hit Jjong in the face instead of Minho

His acoustic version of Lucifer!!! (and Mucifer’s lol)

Onew + Jonghyun’s artistic talents in full force

This photo lolol Taemin helping cut Jonghyun’s leg hair??

Jjong trying to eat a lemon in one go, choking and then still losing

The rise of savage Jjong making the wasabi dumpling but then ending up eating it himself lolol

Jonghyun and Onew’s failed attempt at laundry during Hello Baby

This glorious picture that is the epitome of JongKey

Jonghyun creating a youtube channel for the ice bucket challenge and uploading Minho’s and Taemins, and then a bday video of Key getting a cake in the face

“I plagiarised ‘ACE’ and this is ‘BASE’. They’re connected. Taemin: “Wow I got a Jonghyun photocard!!” Key: “Am I in there too?”

Teasing sleeping Jjong

Jonghyun biting Taemin’s arm in this iconic video where they have to pretend to be calling their “girlfriend”

Embarrassed Jonghyun caught dancing to EXID’s Hot Pink

To Key: “HOW COULD YOU WASH YOUR HAIR ON BROADCAST?? SHINEE…OUR IMAGE??”

Scared pup screaming in falsetto over a toy game

MONKEY MAGIC JONGYU SUBUNIT

When the SHINee members tricked Jonghyun into having a little solo dance break in the middle of Downtown Baby

PRETTY, LOVEABLE JONGMI

My smol pupper choosing to sit between the two giants Woobin and JJY

Of course this video!! Noodle Krump king

and of course Bling Bling…is Jonghyun

These are just a little of a lot of this beautiful soul. Feel free to contribute more random moments that made you laugh, smile, cry, anything that will help these moments last forever ❤️

#jonghyun

fyjjong

to early emphasis: dear cloud’s nine has confirmed that she was asked by jonghyun to post his final note before passing to fans. she has also confirmed that she was given the blessing from his family to share it with the world. you can find confirmation of this here. below will be proper triggers for this post as it is not easy to read. i will also leave nine’s comment that she left on her post as it is important in regards to why she was asked to post it. if you feel that i have missed any please do not hesitation message me on my personal blog (jaekyung) and i will add them as quickly as i am able to. also thank you to sonexstella for translating. —- trigger warning(s): death tw, depression tw, suicide ideation tw, suicide tw nine: i said my final goodbye with jonghyunnie. even after seeing his smiling portrait of the deceased, it still feels like jonghyunnie will come to me and smile as if all of this was a dream. starting from awhile back, jonghyunnie told me his dark and deep internal stories. i think each day was very difficult for him. i kept having uneasy thoughts so i made it known to his family and tried my hardest to capture his heart but it only ended up postponing time and i could not block his last (action). i still cannot believe he is not in this world and it’s so painful. i’m still afraid, not knowing if it’s the right thing to upload these words but jonghyun himself asked me to please upload these words if he disappeared from this world. i wished this day would never come … after discussing with his family i am uploading his final note, according to his last wishes. i think that there must be a reason why he left this up to me. i worry that there will be controversy. however, i think that he predicted this and asked me, so i decided that i will do the one last thing i can do for jonghyunnie. i hope everyone knows now that jonghyun was not alone and that he worked hard … that he did really well … please thank him for withstanding well … beautiful jonghyun, i really love you a lot. going forward, i will love you a lot. in that place, please don’t be in pain and i hope you will be peaceful … —- i am broken from the inside. depression that slowly ate away at me ended up swallowing me. i couldn’t beat it. i hated myself. i held onto memories that have died out and, even though i shouted to snap out of it, there was no response. if suffocating breaths will not open up it’s better instead to stop. i asked who can take responsibility for myself. it’s you. i was completely alone. it’s easy to say you’ll end it. it’s hard to end it. i lived up to now admist that difficulty. you said i wanted to run away. that’s right. i wanted to run away. from myself. from you. i asked who was there. i said it was me. again, it was me. and once again, it was me. i asked why i kept losing memories. it’s my personality. i see. in the end, it’s all my fault. i hoped someone would notice, but no one knew. never met me, so of course, no one knew i was there. i asked why i was living. just. just. everyone just lives. if i asked why someone would die, you would say you’re exhausted. i suffered from concern. i never learned how to change tiresome pains into joy. pain is just pain. i urged myself not to be like that. why? why can’t i end it according to my own will? i tried to find out why i was in pain. i knew too well. i am in pain because of myself. it’s all because it’s my fault and because i’m foolish. teacher, did you want to hear these words? no. i did nothing wrong. when he blamed my personality with a quiet voice i thought it was so easy to be a doctor. it’s fascinating to see why i’m in this much pain. people who have more hardships than i do live well. people who are weaker than me live well. maybe that’s not it. of people who are alive, there is no one who has more hardships than i do, and who is weaker than i am. despite this, i was told to live. i asked why this is the case a hundred times, and it’s never for me. it’s for you. i wanted it to be for me. please don’t say things you don’t know. find out why it’s difficult. i told you many times why it’s difficult for me. with that, is it not possible for it to be this difficult? does there need to be more concrete drama? are you wanting more of a story? i already told you. did you not pay attention? what i can overcome doesn’t leave a scar. colliding with the world must not have been my fate. being known to the world must not have been my life. that’s why everything was difficult. colliding, and being known was difficult. why did i chose that. it’s a funny incident. it’s commendable that i was able to withstand up to this point. what more can i say? just tell me i worked hard. that i did a good job. that i went through a lot. even if you can’t smile, please don’t send me off in blame. you worked hard. you went through a lot. goodbye.

#I'm sorry you felt this way #I'm sorry that i couldnt do anything to help you #but you worked hard #you did your best #you were a good person #you helped save my life #and i wish more than anything i cpuld have done the same for you

taekey

For all the people who didn’t know him… Jonghyun was everything you could wish for in and idol and more. Beyond his talent, no one could talk to him without gushing about what a good person he was. He was just that lovable and kind. Jonghyun was always outspoken about mental health, lgbtq rights, and inequality. He was always the first one to cry, but he was also always the first one to laugh. He poured his soul into composing and writing music. He suffered from insomnia, but always gave 100% energy on the stage. He liked silly jokes, ballads, and staying indoors. He had one of those voices that could make you cry just by listening to it. He was so kind, gentle, open, and talented. His life was short, but I won’t ever be able to forget him.

kunstpause-archive

Jonghyun was one of the most thoughtful artists I’ve ever followed. His support for the lgbt community and his advocacy for mental health has been a beacon of hope in an industry that denies both. I can’t even put in words how much he will be missed and how much this hurts.

#I'm heartbroken #and still having a hard time believing this is real

fyjjong

trigger warning: death tw, suicide tw

i’ve been trying to figure out the right words to say for this post but, really, it doesn’t matter because what can be said that already hasn’t been? i began writing it before the confirmation from sm as something generalized, as a way to tell shawols to lean on each other during this difficult time and that much is going to get obvious as you make your way through to the end. this isn’t going to be eloquent because i’m still in shock. not in denial but shock and i feel like i’ll never be able to properly express what jonghyun not only meant to me but to all shawols and every fan of korean pop.

jonghyun was a special person. he was kind and compassionate and he always did his best to make sure that those around him were happy, no matter who it was. he wasn’t perfect but he always went out of his way to fix anything he did wrong and he was constantly trying to better himself. he was always growing and learning. he fought for people who do not have as much of a voice in korea like the lgbt community and those in poverty. he dedicated his life to doing good and making shawols and those who loved him happy and proud. he gave so much to us and he never hid that he was struggling. he gave us so much in the last nine years and we can give back to him by keeping his memory intact in the way that he would have wanted us to: by supporting the other members, by supporting those closest to him, by remembering his music and by remembering the time that he spent with shinee. he fought hard and he did well and that’s what i’m going to be left with, despite the massive ache that i feel in my chest. i don’t know what else to write to justify him or how great of a person he was so i’ll leave it at that.

please keep his mother, older sister, jinki, kibum, minho and taemin in your thoughts along with all the other people that he is closest to. this is difficult for us but it’s just as difficult for them. please refrain from leaving anything but caring and supportive messages on their social networking accounts, if you leave any at all.

as i said in my earlier post: i don’t really know what to say right now. i’m still in shock but i want everyone to know that we’re all in this together. i ask everyone to please take some time for themselves in the midst of all of this. please take care of yourself and those around you - whether it be simply talking to them or hugging them if you’re physically able to. also remember that if you need to take some time away from everything this is nothing wrong with that. you need to keep yours. i’m not going to close or delete this blog. i’m always going to be a fan of shinee. i’m just don’t feel right posting content on here when we’re all going to be in mourning. so, for the time being it’s on indefinite hiatus but it’ll always be around as a archive and as dedication to his life.

as of right now i’ve closed my inbox for submissions but i want to let you all know that i appreciate all the kind words that you’ve sent in not only for me specifically but about jonghyun. i’d also like to stress to reach out to other shawols (even if you do not consider them to be a close friend) if you do not have someone you can sit down and talk to properly. it also goes without saying: please do not take depression lightly. if you feel that you need help don’t hesitate to contact the following: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

seulpeo

some jonghyun moments i never want to forget

standing up for lgbt students and minorities at large by amplifying their voices, but doing so respectfully (dec 2013)

reflecting on his appreciation for hero movies… ‘i have to protect my world’ (mar 2013)

receiving boxes of listerine after a joke comparing his deja-boo suit colors to listerine flavors went viral, during base promotions (feb 2015)

comforting a fan who was self-conscious about her name with a handwritten note at a shinee fansign (may 2015)

going to comfort a crying key during shinee’s concert at tokyo dome, but ending up crying himself (early 2015)

speaking playfully with a male listener on blue night radio (may 2015)

mentioning his gratitude for fans and listeners in creating a safe space with blue night radio (july 2015)

discussing his conversation with taemin about “gender roles, prejudices and negative views about artists, etc.” when writing pretty boy for taemin ft. kai on blue night radio (aug 2015)

personally supporting radio guest baek young ok on blue night radio in her efforts to bring sanitary pads to low-income girls (mar 2017)

there are so many more moments to include but i wanted to hold onto these for sure. jonghyun, you were a celebrity like no other. i cant imagine a world without you. i wish you’d gotten to known how many hearts and minds you touched with your voice, your songwriting, and just by being yourself.

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jonghyun: is there anyone, from our blue night family, that is crying alone?

not crying of pity, but asking, “why am i living like this?” is there anyone that is feeling uselessly sentimental and guilty?

don’t be like that. i hope you think those bitter days of crying alone are the most beautiful days of your life. you’ll realize with time that your life is actually, pretty alright. i promise you. i’ll write you a guarantee!

the most beautiful thing in the world is right now, this moment, you. don’t ever forget.

today’s closing song is boohwal’s “friend, do you know? (친구야, 너는 아니?). until now, it has been blue night, this is jonghyun.

I love you. And I'll miss you so so much.

#rest in peace #Kim Jonghyun

KEY ANSWERED MY QUESTION ON HIS INSTA LIVE OMG