😨
@ruthlessnessisyourdesiresend me 😨 to see how your muse appears in my muse’s NIGHTMARES
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It could angerhim, but for all intents and purposes, Hank has to admit that this is really fucking fitting – it really isjust like him, to take one step forward and then three backwards. It took himmore than the proverbial blood and sweat to even start letting go of the things that have been haunting him foryears; to allow himself to feel more than bitter resentment. To actually admitto himself (even if he’d never say it out loud – not yet anyway) that he’sgrown to care about his android partner; that he not only accepted him as apolice officer just as competent as a human, but… as more than just acolleague.
And now –fucking this. As if living through itonce wasn’t enough, now he has to relive it again, in the comfort of his ownhome, so that he can wake up and feel like there is no place where he’s safe.Because there’s someone out there wearing Connor’s face who isn’t Connor, whoheld a gun to his head as soon as Hank started to suspect something, who reallywould have pulled the trigger if it was necessary for his mission.
(Why Connornever did that, even before he actually became deviant, Hank doesn’t know.Though, truth be told, he can’t be assed to think about it anyway. He’s just gladConnor is the way he is – holding his shot, catching him when a perp dangleshis ass over a rooftop, admitting being afraid to die even when he stillthought he was just a machine.)
Worse, thedream doesn’t have Hank dying – it’s him shooting the wrong Connor.
Hankpointedly doesn’t think of why this feels worse. He kicks off his covers andgets out of bed, briefly contemplates getting out the whisky, but then heglances at the clock and realizes it’ll soon be light outside, and even hedoesn’t much feel like going to work still drunk rather than hungover.
On thesomewhat brighter side, Sumo is hilariously appreciative of getting to go for awalk at stupid o’clock.
One stepforward, right?