#!!krolia

[largehearts]

she gets back to the marmora base and almost gets shot down. codes have changed, multiple races could assume her form, could have tortured her to know what she knows. the short timeframe in which she could slip between the black holes is almost up when kolivan appears in front of the comms. krolia finds her mouth jerking into a small smile at the sight of her oldest friend. “let me dock so i can kick your pale ass.” she is granted permission. after debriefing, she does kick kolivan’s ass on the training grounds, like she has many times in the past. he could probably crush her like a guamnop, but – well. he’d have to catch her first.

she does not actually give a full report. she gives everything relevant to her mission – being stranded, finding and guarding the blue lion, hijacking another galra ship the next time some arrived at earth. she does not mention her family. she tells them she lost her blade in the crash. it’s a good enough story given that nothing she says is a lie. a plan is concocted to keep the empire well away from that small, flourishing planet. it includes no marmora agent going back there. krolia swallows around the lump in her throat. they will be safe, she tells herself, over and over. that’s all that matters.

she hates lying to her comrades, but she finds she no longer trusts anyone, not when it comes to knowledge of her son’s existence. kolivan was right, after all – anyone can be tortured, anyone can let anything slip, especially if their mission gets them close to the emperor and his right-hand witch.

it’s not even a quintant later that they’re sitting around a table, planning for execution. a long, lonely mission is just what krolia’s bleeding heart needs, though she’s not the only one getting one such mission; the core group, the longest-time members all go underground. she looks around at them, the only friends she has left – kolivan, ulaz, thace, orura – and almost says the truth. then she thinks of keith and pulls another layer on. she’d kill them all barehanded for him.

years later, kolivan recognizes the blade in keith’s hand, and knows he was told a lie when it activates for the boy from earth who arrived in a voltron lion. if kolivan was stupid, he would be dead. faith does waver, but – krolia had never failed another mission, did not fail the earth one either, not truly, and has done exactly as required since her return. he could not question her in a manner that would not compromise her position with ranveig, either – so he waits it out. it’s been decaphoebs already, and he is good at waiting.

that, and – no matter what he tells keith, no matter the fact that it is true he’d leave anyone behind if going back compromised a mission, krolia included – he also wants to hear it all from her, personally. maybe when the war is over? (it is an odd realization – that against all odds, he trusts her still.)

and maybe he’s asking for the next ass kicking when he sends keith to her without warning, but – honestly, that’s the least (and most) she deserves.

[largehearts]

like the land split by sea,

It’s been weeks and weeks, long enough for the feeling of urgency to slowly fade from Krolia. First from her muscles; one morning (or whatever this can be called when night and day change with unpredictable irregularity) she wakes without her body pulled taut like a spring, ready to jump at anything and everything. It takes a few more days for her mind to settle a little, too, to finally allow herself to sink into actual sleep rather than blurry half-consciousness punctuated by gray, muddy fog and internittent tatters of nightmares.

It’s light out when she comes to, and it’s pouring… something. It doesn’t seem to be more than a hot rain; a watery substance that creates small puffs of steam at every drop that reaches the ground – but it still reminds Krolia of the acid rains of her home planet, and as she sits, she’s almost surprised to feel a dull ache spread in her chest, filling out all the hollows left behind by the faded-out adrenaline and exhaustion.

Keith sits at the mouth of the cave, with the wolf curled up next to him, looking outside. Expression softening momentarily, Krolia pulls her legs under herself, and scoots a little closer to the fire, using one of her military knives to dig out the pockets she’d buried under the embers, small sacks of hide tied up to hide a few edible roots. “Are you hungry?” she calls out.

@redbonded // sc.

[largehearts]

daily hc. krolia doesn’t talk to keith about his father during the two years spent in the quantum abyss beyond their shared visions. as much as she is a sturdy, strong person with lots of wartime experience, his death hits her harder than she is willing to show at first. ever since she fell in love with him, he was the most important person in her life (falling back to second place after keith was born, but remaining there all the same), and she doesn’t really know how to even start grieving. at this point, she’s not close enough to keith to be comfortable with him seeing her fall apart -- and they’re on a mission, after all, even if it’s taking years.

krolia is very aware that she has a tendency of coming off as cold and uncaring when she gets really focused. she doesn’t really know how to fix this, since it’s impossible to backtrack at those times without compromising her work. part of her thinks it’s just something people need to deal with, because she’s certainly not going to constantly apologize for her priorities.

however, what people (keith, specifically) may not realize is that her priority is hardly ever the mission itself, but rather, what the mission stands for. when she pushes everyone away to be able to focus, it is more likely than not because their lives hinge on krolia doing her job well.

someday, she may attempt to put this in words, but she would much prefer if her son was open to getting to know her well enough to figure it out on his own.

(and she talks to keith about his father back on earth.)

[largehearts]

say what you wanna say, and let the word fall out -- honestly, I wanna see you be BRAVE.

ind. priv. sel. krolia of v:ld        written & adored by ronnie                 featured on largehearts.

[largehearts]

I've still got a lot of fight left in me.

[largehearts]

@madefate:

“Hey. I hope you don’t mind me getting you something,” Shiro says as he sits quietly down beside Krolia, a thin, carefully wrapped package in his hand. He offers it with all softness and affection, the smile at his lips much the same, and waits until she takes it from him before he explains. 

“I’m sure you have access to pictures already, but the more I look through my old stuff, the more I find. And I figured it might be nice to have to have them all in one place." 

It had been a – worried decision. Collecting the pictures of when they were growing up, primarily the ones of Keith, with some of the both of them in the mix, and putting them all in one tablet. Years documented that Krolia had not been present for. But they are years that Shiro still remembers fondly – still wants to share. ( still, despite wanting at all a fledgling thing that he continues to fuss over, not wanting to overstep his boundaries or cause more pain than joy. ) 

So – he compromises. By qualifying the present with, "I’ll understand if you don’t want to look through them. But if you do, I thought you might want to hear some of the stories that go along with them. – Merry Christmas, Krolia." 

Krolia can’t help the smile tugging at her lips as she watches Shiro sit. I hope you don’t mind, as if she ever would. When will he stop worrying? She takes the package with a small nod for him to continue, curiosity mixing in with the amusement in her gaze that she hangs upon him as he talks.

And then… she finds that words would elude her even if she tried now. The idea of him going through all those memories, gathering them and putting them together for her… it should not be shocking, but it still touches a part of her she did not expect to be touched – especially because, as much as she’s kept track of Keith’s birthdays, Christmas is one Earthen holiday she hasn’t really been thinking of until it rolled around.

And, of course… there is the whole idea of this as a reminder, which seems to be what Shiro is worrying about. All those years that she wasn’t around for, when she should have been – sure, it’s a thorn, a little bit. But Shiro knows Krolia better than this now; she is not the kind of person to dwell on regrets. And even if she did, in what world would that mean she wouldn’t want to learn of everything she’s missed?

Without thinking twice, she puts the tablet down next to her, just to make sure it’s out of the way while she wraps her arms around Shiro and pulls him into a hug. “Thank you,” she says, and as much as she is an expert at hiding everything she thinks or feels, she is exceptionally careful right now to do the opposite, saturating her voice with her gratitude and love and happiness, to make sure Shiro can hear it. “I’d love to look at them together – and the stories, too. I definitely want them all.”

As she pulls away, she takes a moment to smooth some hair out of his face; she’s not sure why she loves it so much that she can do this, but she cherishes it, that much is for sure. “I have something for you, too, but – later.”

[largehearts]

Tension flickers along the span of his shoulders - alive for a moment before recognition fades in around the edges. Familiar - he knows who this is. Far from truly conscious, Shiro feels what has to be Krolia's shoulders, her back, and wariness burns away under a trusting acquiescence. His cheek relaxes against her shoulder and his arm tightens around her as murmured gratitude hums at his lips.

@madefate​ | love me!

He is exactlywhere Keith said he would be, for which Krolia is glad, because as much as itonly took her a couple of days to commit the layout of the entire Garrison tomemory, when it comes to recognizing patterns and using them to find people, she takes a little longer – evencounting the fact that Shiro is among the few people she knows a little betterthan most she spends her days around on Earth.

Unlike manyhere – despite being soldiers themselves – Krolia was never intimidated by theVoltron lions. Even though she’d never shared a headspace with them the wayKeith did, their quintessence’s flow was easy to recognize and settle into – simplybe around them. It feels like Kroliahas always known, without having to be told, that they are protective of their paladins,and just as fierce as the toughest Galra warrior she’s ever met in her life.Perhaps these qualities are what invokes that sense of odd camaraderie in herthat pulls her mouth into a slight smile when she enters the hangar, and seesBlack move her head to greet her, then lower her jaw to allow her in, mostlikely knowing her intentions.

Krolia doesn’tunderstand everything that happened between lion and paladin to the extent herchildren do, but she knows just enough for the sight to fill her with the samekind of warmth that she heard in Keith’s voice earlier. This seat, after all,is exactly where Shiro belongs, and though Krolia knows she’s been at least of some help to him when it came to facingand fighting off his demons, it has been a little bit of a sore point for herto realize this was something out of her reach. To see him here, comfortableenough to fall asleep in the cockpit – well, it almost makes her change hermind and turn back, to just let him be.

But. He’s stillnot fully healed yet, no matter how much he likes to tough it out, and while that’sactually a quality he shares with Krolia, and thus ordinarily she would have noright to call him out on it, right now they are still enjoying their (probablyrelatively short) interim time of peace and rebuilding – which is exactly thekind of time that should be used for convalescing, so that they’re back totheir hundred percents by the time the universe inevitably falls apart again.

And so, shecrouches, taking Shiro by the arm and tugging gently, startling only for amoment when she feels the chair itself rise gently, slow enough not to disturbhis sleep, but still giving Krolia enough leverage to finally rise with him securelyon her back.

It’s moregratifying than surprising that he barely reacts to her presence – though thesurprise is there; he of all peoplehas been through enough to have a tendency for constant alertness, and astronger than usual fight or flight response. Still, it doesn’t take longerthan the few steps she takes down the ramp into the hangar again for him torise into a half-awake state and then sink right back into sleep, his armtightening a little around her as he murmurs something completely unintelligiblethat nevertheless quirks her mouth upwards into a smile she doesn’t try to hide.

For anyone whoknows her even a little, it’s probably not hard to guess or surprising to findout: trustis among the things she cherishes the most.

[largehearts]

i’m a bit too much of a mess to actually write today, so have some hc tidbits for keith’s bday.

he has a long-standing tradition with shiro (this is actually @madefate‘s hc it just fits in line with this post) where shiro sneaks into his bedroom at midnight (starting from when they’re both super little!), gives him something of his as a present (usually something he earned or won or s/t like that) and tells him stories until keith falls asleep.

keith has all the things he’s ever gotten from his brother on these occasions. other gifts from various times and people may have gotten lost with time, but he keeps all these tokens in one place (probably in the shack, so he doesn’t have them in space, but. they are not lost.)

spending the first birthday after shiro’s disappearance and gran’s death all on his own is worse than any other death anniversary. it’s the only day during that whole year when he seeks out something of a relief in the form of company. he manages to sneak back onto garrison premises (risky, but what does he have to lose?) and proceeds to completely freak out camila by showing up unannounced on her doorstep.

the next one is in space. he almost forgets about it; he stopped counting the days when he wasn’t on earth anymore and days themselves lost meaning somewhat, and, well. they’re in the middle of a war. he only remembers when the arbitrary “day” on the castle is almost over, and he decides not to mention it; nobody else even knows when it was in the first place, and there’s no way shiro is keeping track. (he feels a little guilty about not telling him, for some weird reason. he ends up seeking out his company, but things are different, stilted, painful even. his brother is traumatized, and keith is too preoccupied with the frustration of not being able to help to even think of himself. they end up sparring.)

riding on the back of a space whale in the middle of the quantum abyss, keith is more than caught off guard by the simple fact that krolia remembers and has kept count. she shows him a little counting device (originally designed by her sister for other purposes) that she’s kept hidden all this time, for this one purpose. it’s the first real, palpable sign of her care that he can’t just shove aside. he makes a valiant attempt, though, taking the wolf for a whole day of exploration and resource gathering just so he doesn’t have to face her. krolia doesn’t mind; she knows these things take time. when he returns, she makes her first offer of extending his blade training. they spar until it’s so dark they can’t see their hands in front of their faces. when she sits down next to him at their campfire, he takes a deep breath and leans against her for the first time.

(a year later, rinse and repeat. keith finds it hard to keep track of time, having spent so much of it in so wildly different environments where it had so many different meanings. but krolia has her tiny calendar, and this time, he laughs when she dangles it in front of him, and goes to hug her. they go out hunting together, and after their return, she teaches him a makeshift version of a galran board game, substituting the game pieces with twigs, rocks, and a few giant leaves that she folds into figurines.

and then it’s back to earth. keith thinks it should be something like the twenty-second, but time is inside out and upside down, the earth year doesn’t match, is his brother even still the same amount of time older than him? better not think about it too hard. it’s another birthday. (more on this one when i answer claire’s fantastic submission once i stopped crying over it.)