#!raphael

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Mephistopheles monologues about Diavolo supporting Spiderkid like he’s in a Shakespearean play while trying to kidnap Ik again

Meanwhile Raphael, who got dragged along again, is slowly inching his way out of the room while he’s distracted, planning his next offering to appease Ik

HI hello sorry it took me a fortnight to check my inbox

mephistopheles has prepared a slideshow with flashcards and a laser pointer and he uses raphael as an audience while he rehearses his presentation about why this all STUPID and everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves, and lord diavolo please come to your senses soon

raphael nods politely whenever mephistopheles turns to him for approval, but his eyes are darting to the door every ten seconds and anyone watching from the outside is just going to think he was kidnapped somehow. in fact ik does see this while out for a trek on the rad walls when she walks by the window, and immediately comes in through the window to make sure everything is alright

mephistopheles immediately launches into a personalised version of his presentation, attempting to get ik herself to see sense here, and only after about an hour of this do either them think to check on raphael. raphael is, of course, no longer here, because he sprinted out of the door as soon as ik arrived

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Raphael being superstitious, specifically regarding this one magicless kid, is so funny to me

He probably did that cross gesture when he blocked the Spiderkid hate account just in case

pfffft raphael is only really religious when his fear of spiderkid is involved. father up in the celestial realm literally only ever hears from this child of his when he's praying that ik doesn't find him hiding around the corner

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You can’t tell me Solomon and Simeon wouldn’t find how scared Raphael is of Spider Ik hilarious

Girl maybe makes it to waist height

solomon absolutely points and laughs every time raphael shows fear. simeon tries to be more tactful about it but it's clear to anyone watching that he's holding back a little giggle

simeon's like "oh raphael you don't need to be so nervous, ik wouldn't hurt a fly" and then raphael grabs him by the shoulders and whispers furiously "YES SHE WOULD SIMEON SHE'S A SPIDER THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT THEY DO THEY HURT FLIES AND THEY EAT THEM"

it does not help matters that raphael, in the opposite situation to luke, somehow always witnesses it when ik is doing weird spider things

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I think it’d be funny if Raphael treated SpiderIk like some feral stray cat or how the Greeks treated the gods

Like, he’s obviously scared of her so he starts leaving little tributes to try and appease her the way one would leave tributes to say, Poseidon, to try and appease him for good sailing

But he obviously doesn’t want to get too close and spook her so he does that thing you do with feral stray cats where you try to get closer but not too close to where they’d attack

Ik has no idea what Raphael is doing. She just thinks he’s kinda weird

ik is early to class and sitting alone in the classroom waiting for everyone else to get here. the door slowly slides open. raphael peeks inside. ik says "hello". he just blinks with oddly wide, almost frightened eyes, then withdraws again

a minute or so later, he creeps in, still not saying a word. he stops five paces in and stares at her for a moment, then looks back and forth as if expecting someone to show up. when no one does, he very quickly walks ten paces further in, then stops at the far end of the bench ik is sitting on. he sets down a little box. he turns and speedwalks back out of the room.

ik hears his footsteps disappearing very rapidly. she scoots over and opens the box. it's a little cake. she contemplates all of this, then leans back over and looks out the window. raphael is sprinting out of the rad grounds with no signs of stopping his momentum

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Raphael coming down to the Devildom and finding a tiny pint sized vigilante that could through him through a wall

I think Luke should either be Spiderkid’s biggest fan or biggest anti but not know it’s Ik

raphael points at ik like "simeon this aura simply is not normal" and simeon is just all innocent "huh what are you talking about?", meanwhile ik is holding a dresser twice her size in one hand and making casual conversation with solomon

lol i have no idea how luke wouldn't figure out that ik is the tiny vigilante who also has spider powers, unless he specifically is somehow never privy to her powers... maybe everyone assumes he knows but luke has just, by sheer coincidence, never witnessed her doing anything out of the ordinary

he's like the mum in phineas and ferb in that simeon will be like "wow luke look!!!" while ik is bounding up the rad clock tower, but then luke turns around and suddenly ik has fallen through a window and is nowhere to be seen

i love the idea of luke having inexplicable beef with spiderkid as well. what is his problem with them??? no one knows, but his tiny body is filled with rage nevertheless

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ik could theoretically survive one of raphael's shower-of-spears attacks in the same way that ants could survive being microwaved: by being small enough to dodge the hotspots

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alecto's best friends outside of the newspaper club are lucifer and raphael, both of whom are individually one of the strongest beings of their respective realm. despite this, neither of them have ever been able to beat her in an arm-wrestling match

raphael is at peace with this. lucifer, meanwhile, is probably going to be annoyed about it until the day he dies