Ace found himself stood in front of the familiar front door of his house, wringing his furry hands together in an attempt to keep him ever so slightly distracted. He glanced behind him, at the portal he just stepped out of, only to watch it disappear. Okay, this was it, he wasn’t going to chicken out. He wasn’t. He wouldn’t let himself. He squeezed his hands for a moment before finally bringing one up to knock on the door.
Inside cat ears perked up at the knocking, but said cat wasn’t about to get up from the couch he was laid on. What now, was it Brio again? He didn’t get a text or a call or anything, but Brio always knocked before coming in. Slob would always just port in, and really, those are the only two people who would come visit him anyways. Spade’s tail flicked behind him and he sighed before lifting up one of his hands, opening up the door with a bit of blue magic. He’s not about to get up now.
Ace reflexively flinched as the door opened, but took a moment of pause when there was no one actually standing there. God he’s all sorts of on edge right now, his soul is pounding like crazy. He wished so badly that he wasn’t scared right now, but. It is what it is. He took another breath and attempted to steel himself, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. He gave a little look around, frowning. Gods, how long had it been since he’d been in his own house? Too long, it felt. Weird. Shaking his head, he made his way over and into the living room, flinching when he spotted Spade, still laid face down on the couch. Oh Gods oh God, his soul was practically in his throat. He took a few quiet breaths and steeled himself again, or at least as much as he was able to, and made his way to the couch, tapping Spade on the shoulder.
There was a groan at the tap on his shoulder, and his ears lowered in annoyance. With a sigh he pushed himself up and sat on his knees, turning to look at who just disturbed him, and... he froze. His fur fluffed out of pure shock and fear and, after a moment of doing nothing, he scrambled backwards to the other end of the couch, farthest away from Ace.
“wh.. what the h-hell are y-you doing here?!”
Ace winced at the reaction and took a few steps back, going back to wringing his hands nervously. He couldn’t look at Spade, just opting for staring at his hands.
“i.. i mean it is my house, but...” He shook his head. “th-thats not the point, i.. i wanted to talk.”
Spade’s ears pinned back as far as they could and he looked away, his claws coming out and already starting to tear up his hands.
“w.. why. why would you w-want to come here to t.. talk, and not. not kick me out or.. or something why w-would you want to talk to m-me of all people?!”
Ace inhaled, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled. Don’t. Don’t let him run you off. He squeezed his hands before lifting his head and looking at Spade, only flinching a little bit as he watched him tear up his hands. They were already bleeding pretty bad...
“i.. i want to. to at least try and.. and fix things. i d.. didn’t...” Another breath in and out, another squeeze to his hands. “i didn’t mean for it to.. to get so bad i didn’t think it would... and. and that was stupid, that was wrong i.. i shouldn’t have just. pushed the situation away like that, i... i’m sorry, i didn’t even.. even know how you were feeling, just... i thought. i assumed that.. that you were getting bored, getting.. tired of me and i didn’t even say anything i just. i just ran away when i had the excuse and it just got worse and worse and...”
He paused and tensed up as he was hissed and glared at by Spade, going quiet for the meantime.
Spade shook his head and clawed at his hands harder, already starting to shake.
“y.. you n-need to k.. kick me out, to.. i don’t know. h.. hurt me, punch me hit me d.. do anything i-its what i deserve after. after wh-what i did!!! h.. how.. how could you ever.. ever f-forgive me?! why would you e.. ever want to make things better?!!”
Ace squeezed his hands and grit his teeth, shaking his head.
“because i want! to make things better!! or i want to try at the very least why can’t you understand that?! i.. i know what you did was horrible, but what i did was just as bad, we. we both messed up, okay? we b.. both messed up really bad, b.. because guess what? w.. we’re both really f-fucking stupid. i don’t talk about things, y.. you don’t talk about things, its both our faults! okay?! i. i just...”
He sniffs a little and rubs his eyes, Gods, he’s tearing up...
“l.. look, i do miss you. i’d be lying through my stupid t.. teeth if i said otherwise, i’m just. scared. scared of messing up again, s.. scared of hurting you, scared of getting hurt i’m just scared okay?! and. and maybe i’m wrong b.. but. you probably are too...”
Spade grit his teeth, his tail flicking around in agitation. He couldn’t and wouldn’t look at Ace, continuing to claw and pick at his hands. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t even notice Ace approach him, only to flinch and jerk away when he felt hands on his own.
Ace took a quick step back as Spade jerked away, wringing his hands nervously.
“y.. you need to stop, you.. you’re b-bleeding really bad....”
Spade shook his head, hissing at him.
“n.. no!!! you.. you need to either l.. leave, or.. or kick me out or something just! stop!! caring about me!!!”
Ace blinked at that and frowned, squeezing his hands before shaking his head and walking back up to him, grabbing his hands again.
“no. i wont, now just, let me-”
He cant even finish his thought as suddenly one of Spade’s hands is pulled away quicker than he can react, and the next thing Ace knows is that there’s a stinging pain on his cheek. He’s still grabbing onto one of Spade’s hands, but his now free one goes and touches his cheek for a moment. When he pulls it back, there’s.. blood. Staining the white fur of his palm. Pretty much all of his palm, actually, must be a bad scratch. But that’s just it, its a scratch. He’ll live. He looks back at Spade, giving his hand a squeeze.
“please. let me help you. let me.. at least try and fix this.”
Spade just stared at him, ears still flat, bleeding hands shaking. Why? After some silence he shook his head and pulled his hand away, looking anywhere but Ace.
“...you’re really stupid.”
Ace paused for a moment at that, then gave him a little smile. He didn’t hear a no. He takes a moment to just, breathe, before heading to the bathroom to get some stuff. A wet washcloth, along with a box with bandages and some disinfectant stuff. Once he gets everything he needs he heads back to Spade and sits next to him, taking his hands and starting to gently wash them of blood. Once it was all gone and the fur was clean, he sprayed some disinfectant onto the wounds. That got a few flinches and whines, but that was to be expected, and soon enough both of Spade’s hands were wrapped up nice and cleaned.
He sighed and looked at Spade, frowning a little.
“please, let me try and fix this?.... say something, other than... that i’m stupid. i know that already...”
Spade was still refusing to look at him, but his ears twitching were enough of an indication that he was listening. Now he was just fidgeting with his hands, but at least he wasn’t hurting himself anymore.
Ace watched him for a moment before sighing, looking down at his own hands quietly. Well, now what?.. Did any of this even help? He feels like it didnt... at all. At least he had Wasp to go back to after all this, whether it works out or not.
“m’ not lying, you know.... i... still care about you, and i do really wanna see if.. if we cant fix this, but. its.. its all up to you.”
He glanced over at Spade and blinked, pausing for a moment. He couldn’t really tell, because his face was still turned away, but... was he. Crying? He reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder, feeling Spade flinch at the touch, but he didn’t pull away or anything.
“hey.. hey, can. can you look at me? please?...”
Spade clenched his hands into fists, not responding for a good while till he did finally turn and look at Ace. And he was, he was crying. All that anger from before was gone in this moment and now he just looked. Utterly broken up, scared, and confused.
“i d.. dont.. wanna h-hurt you again l.. look i.. i already have!”
Ace frowned and shook his head, grabbing him and pulling him into a hug.
“look, i... i’m willing to try, i keep saying that so wh.. why wont you just listen already? and. and if you’re, at the very least, willing to try too, then. i’ll be fine. and if you hurt me again, or.. or i hurt you, then. then we’ll get through it, okay? we’ll. be better, this time around... and if it still doesn’t work out, then at least we’ll know for sure, and we’ll be able to break things off without.. without a big mess like what happened last time. okay?...”
Spade was tense as he was hugged and talked too, but gradually found himself somewhat relaxing as he cried harder, hugging tight onto Ace.
They spent a while like that, just hugging, Spade crying and Ace trying to comfort him. No more talking really happened, they’d talk later. Once they were both more calm..
