#&text;

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Words have been had, tears have been shed and unfortunately today is where I have to announce that Derrick is no longer my boyfriend.

He's my fiancé.

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Ghost rereleased the "phallos mortuus" for the Infestissumam anniversary and it comes with a divorce paper scroll, a butt plug and a Papa dildo that I've seen people lovingly call the ghildo all in a box shaped like a bible.

I'm not saying I need it buuuuuuuuuut

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“Must see video and photos of Brian Knobbs--”

Facebook, I would much rather chew on broken glass than spend any of my time willingly reading anything about either of the Nasty Boys. 

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"Are you guys free this weekend? Want to come to Georgia? I have extra tickets for Ghost and Spiritbox.”

WHAT? YES? HELLO?

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Happy Birthday, Daff 💚 Words can’t even begin to express how much you’re missed.

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I need everyone to know that this man, who is high as a kite, came into my office and made me pause my game for the following exchange:

“What’s something you can see on a church billboard and hear a girl with a lisp say during a threesome?”

“I’m almost afraid to ask but what?”

“Come honor faith.’

I hate how much it made me laugh.

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I burned myself with hot glue repeatedly and almost drove myself insane because I decided to bedazzle the knife and the mask but the end result was more than worth it.