#:past

[jeongaeul]

5

SEND ME A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A DRABBLE ABOUT MY MUSE’S PAST

(childhood) The loss of someone or something important.

She is in big trouble. She did something wrong and her parents are going to get angry at her, she just knows it. When seven years old Gaeul realizes that she lost her mother’s most beautiful and most precious necklace, she knows that she is in big trouble. 

She also knows that she has to tell her truth, after all, her daddy always told her that it’s important to tell the truth even if it hurts because lying always ends up hurting more and young Gaeul refuses to hurt her mommy because she didn’t pay attention to the necklace. She hides under her bed while she tries to think of solution. 

Maybe her parents will be so busy taking care of Taehwan, her little brother, that they aren’t going to notice she lost the necklace. But then, she remembers that time when her mother scolded her for spilling her hot chocolate on the carpet when she thought that she hadn’t seen her as she was giving her little brother his own milk. She sighs heavily and thinks a lot, maybe too much for a seven years old child, and ends up falling asleep underneath her bed. 

Hours later, she hears the voice of her father which wakes her up and she crawls out slowly before looking up at him with sleepy eyes. He patiently listens to her babble - which is actually a mix of words and yawns - until a deep chuckle slips past his lips when she starts to tear up, her lower lip tembling because she feels ashamed and she doesn’t want to hurt her mommy. He takes her in his strong arms and Gaeul snuggles in his arms while he brings her to her mother. He tells her to say the truth  and before she can say a word, she starts to cry and her parents laugh because Gaeul is just really precious and cute. 

<>(They don’t tell her that she had the necklace around her neck during all this time but when the two kids are asleep, they laugh about it in front of the fireplace. )

[jeongaeul]

18

SEND ME A NUMBER AND I’LL WRITE A DRABBLE ABOUT MY MUSE’S PAST

Isolation (self-imposed, even if brief).

When Jeon Gaeul, nineteen years old and in her second year at College, understands that her boyfriend of two weeks is cheating on her because this idiot sent a message to the wrong girl, she immediately breaks up with him because she is never going to allow herself to be that girl who pins after her boyfriend even when he is clearly cheating. He doesn’t hold her back and she tries not to let it get to her. 

But Gaeul is only a girl with feelings and who tries a bit too hard to be like everyone else. She does not talk much even though she always has a lot in her minds because she knows her friends are going to laugh at her if she ends up speaking her mind and inevitably babble. Gaeul doesn’t read when she is at College unless she is alone because she doesn’t want for her friends to judge her even though she often wonders if they are really her friends - a big part of her doubts it but they’re the closest to friends that she ever had so she doesn’t want to lose them. 

When she reaches her apartment after her classes, she locks the door behind her and allows herself to cry because she feels hurt, she feels that she will never be enough for anyone. And then, she finally realizes that she deserves better, that she shouldn’t cry over someone she wasn’t even in love with so she picks herself up and spends the whole weekend locked in her apartment, reading books and eating her favorite food, her phone turned off.

She understands during those two days that sometimes, the best company you can have is yourself, and when she turns on her phone on sunday night, she has no messages, no missed calls, nothing. She then takes the decision that she is done, she deserves better than fake friends and boyfriends cheating on her. 

When Gaeul goes to her class on monday morning, she sits away from the people she was spending time with and she isn’t even half surprised when they don’t pay attention to her. She takes her books out of her bags and spends her time reading between classes and nobody tries to befriend her again but she doesn’t mind. At least books never hurt her and will never.