i'm so sorry to hear about Coco. I hope things improve for you, and I want you to know that Coco most likely loved you as much as you loved him, from what i've read about him. i'm not too good with condolences, but i can tell you really loved him. here's to coco, a good dog and a better friend.
I feel you on not being too good on condolences, haha. But thank you so much, I appreciate it.
I didn’t include everything in the post due to just the haze I had been in last night, but Coco and I really did share a close bond and it was clear to me he had the closest one with me between my family. There were things that he’d let me do with him that he’d not let others do, the main one being how he’d be held. When he was younger, he’d let people hold him, but not usually for long and only if he was with his belly down or in a “sitting” position. For me, he would always let me hold him for much longer and would let me hold him as you would a baby, belly up. He’d even cuddle up against me and fall asleep sometimes, so I knew he was comfortable with it haha.
As he got older, he started letting others hold him less. Once the lump started to appear, he outright stopped letting my family hold him, most likely due to pain. But he continued to let me hold him, even if it was for less time than usual before he wanted to be put back down. It was the fact he continued to let me that spoke it.
What really set it in to show me how strongly he felt comforted with me was when I took him in for the euthanasia. While the vet and I were talking, Coco had... tried to jump off the table, but had a bad landing and either hit his tumor or bit it when he landed on his side, since he just started bleeding a ton everywhere. When the vet had to take him to the back to give him a small dose of sedative to help calm him down, I honestly almost called it off after I heard him just... loudly cry for minutes. I was rooms away from him, that’s how loud he was and was the loudest I’ve ever heard him whine... But when the vet was coming back with him after the sedative kicked in, I heard him still softly whining, so he wasn’t fully unaware. As soon as he was brought into the room with me and he saw me? He stopped. When he was set on the table, he crawled right over to me and just. Put his head right against me and was quiet. I knew he was in a lot of pain, but was comfortable in that moment, so that’s why I let the vet continue on with it despite how much harder and heartbreaking the whole situation made me.
I know that Coco loved me, and though he could never talk, he proved it by actions every single day. If anyone is ever able to share a special bond like that with their pet, never take it for granted. They are very much capable of love, trust, comfort and loyalty with who they want to share a bond with. He really was my best friend.
