Aug 5, 2017
But, in truth, I have wept too much! Dawns are heartbreaking. Every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter. Acrid love has swollen me with intoxicating torpor O let my keel burst! O let me go into the sea!
Arthur Rimbaud
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
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seen from Moldova
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seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
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seen from Türkiye
But, in truth, I have wept too much! Dawns are heartbreaking. Every moon is atrocious and every sun bitter. Acrid love has swollen me with intoxicating torpor O let my keel burst! O let me go into the sea!
Arthur Rimbaud
I am just very very very tired of listening to you all.
Play It As It Lays
A bottle of wine was good company.
Ernest Hemingway
A too-compassionate art is half an art. Only such proud restraining purity restores the else-betrayed, too-human heart.
Adrienne Rich
6/17/XXX6
Today I made a new friend. She was nice, very nice. I liked her. Mommy seemed upset with me for doing so. She hurt me again. I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I don’t like it. I won’t be friends with that lady anymore. I swear I promise. I’m so scared. I’m so scared. I’m so scared.
10/19/XXX5
I tried explaining to them Mommy. The same way you have always told me. I think it came out wrong. They weren’t happy. They looked upset with me. I tried to explain again and they seemed mad. But it’s fine if you hurt me. Because I’m not your real child. And for that reason it’s fine if you hurt me. Why doesn’t anyone understand? Mommy I just hate this. I say everything you tell me.
WHICH ARE MY ACTUAL THOUGHTS AND WHICH ARE THE THINGS YOU TELL ME TO SAY?!
3/22/XXX5
I started school today. My classmates gave me weird glances. I didn’t like it. I don’t understand the emotions on any of their faces. Is that bad? Today the teacher spent a lot of time with me because I was new. I didn’t mind it. I felt weird. I didn’t want him to be near me. He wore such a weird expression. He almost looked like he was in pain. Mommy did I hurt him somehow? Do I hurt people by existing?