#;;intel

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also tacking onto my last post, the raijinshuu are honestly the only ones to see the evergreen underneath her facade. they’re the only ones to see layers of her that nobody else has. they were there when she first learned it was okay to laugh, that it was okay to use her magic, and they’re still to this day the only ones to hear her laugh uncontrollably to the point where her face turns red and tears well in the corners of her eyes. if you truly want to see what evergreen is REALLY like, watch her when it’s only her best friends around her and she thinks nobody else is looking. to everyone else in fairy tail, she may be bitchy, but to them she couldn’t even think about being cruel to them. they cared for her, and gave her a real family. 

they are the only ones to see her at her worst and at her best, and handle her at both. they’re honestly all like her big brothers, and god help anyone that hurts any of them (though i see this as true from their end too. god help anyone that hurts ever because those are NOT people you want as enemies.) she honestly loves them, and after laxus got excommunicated, i’ve said this before but she withdrew. losing even one of them would dramatically affect her, and if one of them /died/, oh boy. that would be the end of it for evergreen. she doesn’t want to think about that. 

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the thing is: evergreen is one of the most LOYAL people you will ever meet. trust is something that is difficult for her to give, and it’s why when you do get her trust, you better make damn sure that you don’t lose it. she was betrayed by the people that were supposed to protect her, and while she does understand that they did what they did out of love, it doesn’t change the fact that they went about it in the WORST WAY POSSIBLE. thus, she’s not just going to hand out friendship or trust left and right. it’s why to this day she trusts very few even in her own guild and has literally just started branching out from freed, bix, and laxus. it took them YEARS just to learn her real name, and even now they only know pieces of her backstory. 

it takes SO MUCH to get her to trust, and when she considers you a friend, you can bet your ass you have one until you betray her. then she cannot forgive you (which is very ironic considering fantasia) and will not forgive you. she keeps her friends for life, and those friends that she does have, she’s going to do everything that she can to show that she appreciates them and loves them. 

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nightmares

Nigtmares are a frequent for Ever. Especially since her childhood, and the experiences she went through, the things that were told to her to justify them. 

Often times, she was told that if she let her magic be known, or let it be known of her existence, she would be taken by Zeref worshippers. Her magic was hella strong, even as a kid, and it was something she literally could not control. It’s why her parents got her glasses: it was an attempt at controlling it, since it’s a trope common idea that mirrors and types of mirrors (which is what glass is to me) can be used to deflect the effects of stone eyes. 

Due to these ideas pounded into her head, she would often have nightmares of Zeref worshippers coming to not only abduct her, but to kill her parents: the people that despite their treatment of her, she still loved dearly. 

Those nightmares didn’t stop until she was thirteen, and they returned after the Tenrou Island incident after actually seeing Zeref. 

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loss

Two people sent this in, lawl~ 

Being an only child, with both of her parents alive at the time of her running away, she never quite felt loss like the death of a friend, sibling, or parent. Up until a certain event, she had never felt loss. 

That completely changed with Laxus’ excommunication. 

While it’s no doubt that his excommunication took a toll on the entire Raijinshuu, Evergreen withdrew almost completely after it happened. (So yeah, her asking Reedus to paint her, and her celebrating with the rest of the guild -- did not happen in my canon) She spent less time at the guild, and less time away from even Bickslow and Freed. I headcanon that Laxus was the one that brought her to the guild, and got her in, so to lose him like that took an immense toll on her. When she would actually do something, it was something reckless, and that’s part of why she was so accepting when Rustyrose’s tower blew up. I’ve stated before that she has already accepted death, but isn’t ever actually going to kill herself. It’s more of an “if it happens, it happens” type thing with her (but again, a headcanon for another time.)

This is even more true for when he almost died in the recent chapters (ish). In her mind, she already lost him once, and losing him permanently is something that would have deeply left an impact, and in worse shape than before. 

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apathy

With Evergreen, she doesn’t feel like she’s able to show empathy. At least not often. The closest thing that she has shown to it is around the Raijinshuu, who are really the only people that she’s ever been close enough to show the side of her that her parents ended up burying inside of her years ago; but that’s for another headcanon entirely~ 

Evergreen lost the ability to feel empathy for people long ago unless it’s someone she cares deeply for, and while yes, Fairy Tail is a guild that she likes, she doesn’t necessarily care about them like one would a friend. She’s seen so many people come and go from that guild that she’s long since lost interest in getting to know new people, and with a lack of making friendships, there comes apathy. 

Perhaps it would be more appropriate to say that she lost the will to feel empathy rather than the ability. She’s more than capable of doing so, but the effort that empathy takes is something that she just doesn’t have. Her will to do such things has been long gone, and she doesn’t have qualms about letting it be known in outwards appearances when one would try to come to her for help. They just don’t quite know the reason.

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damage

Thank you for this because I’ve actually been meaning to type this up since earlier, before I went to work but actually thought of it as I was getting ready so I never got to write it up. 

Evergreens parents were the ones to do the most damage to her. 

While yes, her mother raised her with a great sense of confidence in terms of her body and her looks, they made every attempt they could at sealing off her magic, and thus it left her with psychological damage that cannot be repaired. 

By keeping her locked away, she was never allowed to really get used to her magic, and it left her with a large gap in age of magic progression since I see magic teachings as similar to normal teaching of academic studies. It made it all the more difficult for her to learn everything when she did begin to learn. 

More than just damage to her magical ability, she’s also left with deep scars. She knew that her parents were doing what they believed to be the best for her, as they wanted to protect her, but by locking her away and forbidding her from playing with other children, it also slowed her social skills. She never really had friends until Laxus brought her to Fairy Tail, because even after running away, she never quite made the friends that she hoped that she would, and thus she didn’t really know how to communicate with other kids. 

So while yes, she understood that her parents did everything that they did purely out of love, it doesn’t change the fact that they hurt and broke their only daughter in the process.

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                              headcanon ; destruction

In her youth, Evergreen was very self destructive. It all stemmed from the fact that she still didn’t quite know how to control her stone eyes, and in a way The Battle of Fairy Tail was branched from that self destruction. She was reckless, and she didn’t really ever purposely do things that would lead to that, but she never really cared for how she treated her body. While her confidence was outer, she never really liked who she had become on the inside. 

Destructive behaviors such as not looking where she was going when crossing streets, picking fights and going on particularly dangerous missions, and those behaviors still show to this day, but she’s just better at hiding it. 

She doesn’t really want to die, not really, she just wants to stop existing, but in a way that wouldn’t cause death. She likes the adrenaline rush more than anything, and that was something that she found out at a very young age.