#;crossedout

[1-900bae-blog]

❝ If I can’t be the best, I sure as hell can be the worst! ❞

❝ Wanting to be the best was the most human thing in the world. Baekhyun had a chronic position himself looking back at his childhood when he arrived home after watching the overwhelmed glances between his friends at a Ki Tigers game with a competitive look to say ‘I wanna play baseball’. After two weeks of training and many humiliating misses of the pleasant sound of a ball hitting his bat, he reached home with the very same determined purse of his lips to announce ‘I quit’. There was something bristled in the base of his gut, winding the air out of his pride each time someone’s bat flowed artfully in the air to meet a throw when his own remained like a weak limp across his body structure.  If not be the best, why even try? 

The bat in his hands wavered with the unsure swing of pride remains. There was an uncanny intellectual underscore beneath the grounds people felt more degraded to be the second best  than the last (the kid who came second in exam scores appeared much more insulted at school than the carefree, grinning delinquent at the back seat). Baekhyun understood now with the wisdom of his fresh adulthood; the ‘what if’s and wrong hope in a person who came second is much dense on their shoulders than those with no weight of a hope and ambition.

“Now that’s some good motto for a criminal propaganda video. If you cannot be the president, why not be an armed burglar or serial killer? Join in the dark side,” there’s a pause as his eyes narrow for a momentary thought, his fingers toying with the rousing thought process before reaching down to lace together loosely with a resolution. “This is either gonna be my next muse for a best-seller novel or your reason to be in a jail but hey, totally gonna bring you the best --not the second best tteokbokki of the town at my visits.❞

[1-900bae-blog]

❛ you could have told me that you asked me to come over just to kill some time.. inside. then I wouldn't have came at all. ❜

❛ As if. Baekhyun rested ungraceful and slack against the doorframe with his arms folded haphazardly over the plane of his chest while eyeing the latter with a bold grin. There was a ripple of something impish across his face but he kept silent for a moment to shrug instead. He could have mocked a look of sheepishness if he tried, tilt his head to the side with his lips pursed as an uncomfortable flush seared up his neck. But it all would stink suspicious when his eyes remained so light and carefree.

“I could have,” it was the same tone of voice he’d used from an earlier age on while asking for an extra snack treat from his parents, some pocket money from his grandmother and a bite of dish from their restaurant chef. Reeked of a poorly concealed impudence and spoil. “but then I wouldn’t have someone to help with unpacking some boxes at home and it’d be a pity. Now I got some free labor on my doorstep, lured into my web.” 

His hands rubbed together to mock an evil character, something based awfully on the villains of stories and movies. A laughter followed the suit, ringing high and pitched with an echo across the hallway, down the stairs ahead. “Come inside already, I’ll treat you meat at least. ❜

[1-900bae-blog]

"why do you enjoy watching me suffer so?"

❝ The query ‘why’ has always been the most complex out of other question marks. Perhaps that’s why children favoured it more than other disputes, starting from a young age when they happen to be looking out of window and out of thin air, the neon light strikes to urge them into a journey of a hundred questions starting with ‘why’. Why is the sky blue, why are my eyes brown, why is water called water, why is it bad to fart in front of people. It’s an undeniable truth. Humankind lacks the reasoning for everything, blanking out even when asked about the true rationality underneath a human behaviour and need. Baekhyun had always been a fan of the subject matter with a stack of books on psychology and sociology in the abandoned corner of his bedroom to prove. He’d also been a fan of the question himself, driving his parents into a state of quiet followed by a frustrated groan. 

So when asked the question ‘why’ by Yejun, he honestly paused to fall silent as his fingers habitually scratched along the pathway of his neck idly, itching subtle red streaks in its wake to fade. “Well, if Freud was to make an analysis out of this, he’d definitely bring it up to my father or mother regarding sadistic tendencies as he always does with cases but-- uh, I’m gonna stick to ‘I like your reactions’ as a safe choice. You do that angry bird thing with your brows and your face is rather expressive about how much you’re hating it.  Sounds like a sadist in-the-making indeed. ❞

[1-900bae-blog]

❝ Who wears pants anymore? So 2015. ❞

❝ What the– Yoo Hyejung. I didn’t take you for a part-time nudist and supporter, except for that distant memory of you half-naked in your Sailor Moon undies when you were like 5 but then again…pretty sure you don’t want me recalling that. In fact, do you remember that one time you took off your dress in front of my very pure 9 year old eyes and–,” with a hand placed on top of his chest and an exaggerated, dragged-out sigh heavy on his tongue, he hung his head low to hide the quirk of his lips despite the smile beneath words. “God, I needed some footage to blackmail you at this age, you were so damn cute with your pigtails. You can still reenact some of my memories but you’d be categorised under a different category in viral videos and I’d be in the corner watching all this unfold. With my pants on still. ❞