it truly surprises me how xander wasn’t a more toxic boyfriend to anya tbh.
i’m watching inca mommy girl rn and the moment buffy mentions that the exchange student that’s coming over to her house is a man xander immediately loses it and says he doesn’t want a “male exchange student with male parts” ( or something like that ) living with buffy.
the same xander who spent the entire of season one mooning over buffy who rejected him, the same xander who after said rejection is still making unnecessary comments about the men in buffy’s life, like whenever angel appears for his 2 minutes of brooding each episode.
and like his constant commentary of angel would’ve been valid if it came from a place of friendship ( for example if he was telling buffy about how he’s older, or how he’s a vampire, or how she practically doesn’t know anything about him yet ) but no, each jab each criticism comes from a place of “i’m in love with you but you’re not into me, but i still don’t want any man having you since i can’t have you” and it’s truly so odd. i also don’t get how buffy herself doesn’t say anything about it because having a friend that’s into me and trying ( and in xanders case failing ) to police my life would drive me up the wall.
so it’s actually a little surprising that when it comes to anya xander doesn’t have any opinion on where she was or who she was seeing ( given the fact that he did so much policing when it came to buffy who at no point ever was his girlfriend or even close to it )
it also speaks to the fact that xander never grew out of his feelings for buffy I mean even before his wedding he sort of hits on her and it’s clear that if she gave him the chance he would’ve left whoever he was with at the time to be with her. it’s also clear that his whole “dating supernaturals only” arc comes from the fact that he couldn’t get buffy therefore he’s always attracted to / drawn to the next best thing ( faith, anya, mummy girl, dawn ( this one actually bothers me deeply but I digress ) and so on so on )
