#?maybe??

[thecrimsonjaguar]

thinking about ramb and sans parallels. like, if UTsans is actually from deltarune like the theory says, then you have this guy. right, you have this guy whos from somewhere else and doesnt belong. and he shows up and makes a joke along the lines of "how about the usual?" he goes to a bar every day (to hang out, to work), and he's always smiling despite it all. ramb makes me sick

[cheust]

Swannie

The flash and black swan witch are having a totally normal convo. Not proofread (of course) and I wrote this on my phone while fist fighting sleep.

You stared at the man before you with barely sealed annoyance. How many times do you have to turn him into an animal before he gets the hint?? A content sigh brought you out of your thoughts as you look at your uninvited guest.

The flash was sitting at your counter, his chin resting in the palm of his hand and he looked at you with puppy eyes.

“Whatcha makin’?”

“A poison that makes its victim’s organs turn into plants.”

“Why would you do that? You have such a nice garden already… lemme guess, haven’t had time to weed it, swannie?” You clenched your hand around the metal spoon, tempted to slap his face with it.

Ever since he and his little group discovered you, they haven’t left you alone. Superman with his incessant smiles and boy scout ‘help people is good!! You good if you help people! Here let me help you help people!’ Or it was Batman breaking into your home, going through your belongings and bugging your home with microphones and cameras to make sure you weren’t doing anything ‘bad’. It took you days to find those cameras and microphones. You never felt more violated in your life.

Then there was the king of the ocean, Aquaman. The fool was too eager to get you ingredients for your rituals, but the pecks you had to give him in return were starting to truly grate on your nerves.

The worst one was the green one, green lantern. You could have murdered him when he used his powers to immobilize you to play with your hair and flirt with you. The only reason you didn’t curse him was because of the gag he placed upon you.

So far you could only stand the Martian, the Amazonian, and this fast puppy at your kitchen island.

You tsked as you stirred your poison, “no, I need a specific flower that can only grow from the heart of a truly wicked person.”

He giggled a little as he watched you, “you know, you sure have a way with words, talkin’ like some kind of ye olden witch.”

You stopped stirring and stared at him, “that’s because I was trained by said ‘ye olden witches’. You know. The ones burned by Brother Malleus Wayne.”

“Oh.”

“Yes. Oh.”

….

“Aren’t they dead?”

“Well they aren’t alive.”

“Oh.”

….

…..

“… hey swannie?”

“Yes?”

“Can I take you out to dinner?”

You really miss not knowing him and the others.

“No, Flash. You cannot,” you stated as you continued your work, putting the mixture into a silicone ice trey to put in the fridge.

“Why not? You can’t lie, you’re so into me!” You can feel the smile he has on his face. You sighed.

“What makes you think that?”

“Because you haven’t tried to kill me, so what do you say? You, me, a nice seafood broil while we watch the sunset?”

Now that made you giggle. The idea that this man’s ideal date was a sea food broil was hilarious.

“How about this, I pick out the restaurant and you just show up and pay, deal?”

If you turned around to look at him, you’d see how his eyes were almost cartoonist looking, his pupils practically turning into hearts.

“Hell yeah Swannie!!”

I’m tired and I just wanted to write something… I need to stop being a workaholic 😭😭 why can’t I be normal and just like the gym?? 😭😭😭

[dragimal]

@minementis: I think this is more of a promo for substance abuse lol. Painplay for real you don’t like.... stop feeling the pain, the pain is just associated with pleasure.

to be clear to my dear followers: I AM NOT TRYING TO PROMOTE SUBSTANCE ABUSE PLZ DON’T FUCK UP UR LIVERS N SHIT LMAO

anyways yeah I considered the drug angle myself, but I also don’t think it’s just that y’know? like I don’t think I’d have had near the same relaxed experience w/ the painkillers if the pain wasn’t there beforehand to enhance the later relief. I’m not even that interested in recreational drug use that much, it’s more of a social thing for me-- the most recreational I’ve ever gotten w/ drugs has been the occasional Wheed™ and tipsy night out

anyways, this all is prolly a completely normal reaction to relief from pain honestly, I just think it’s interesting. next time I need to relax I’ll just have somebody beat the shit out of me then give me a shot of painkillers

[kirstentattersall]

I have an absolutely stellar line that will never see the light of day within the story itself but would make a great tagline: 

Joselyn’s story starts as most stories like her’s begin: with a cranky sorcerer with too much time on his hands and a god complex.

[heart-realize]

why do people get so excited about drinking on New Years, or on any other day? I don't really see why anyone would want to drink and possibly end up drunk, which could lead to an accident, or wake up the next day with a hangover.