Oct 13, 2024
So I coloured the pic with little Liv and Heimdall~ close-ups lower
seen from Germany
seen from China
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seen from Malaysia
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Russia
seen from Australia
seen from China
seen from Australia
seen from Russia
seen from Russia
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Angola
So I coloured the pic with little Liv and Heimdall~ close-ups lower
I am kind, not Complacent chpt 1,{next}
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Word count: 4.9 k
Multi chapter
Heimdall gow x fém! Reader
hi all, this is a Heimdall x reader fic that I was inspired to write thanks to the very kind and talented @engardeitsme I want to thank you for reading my draft and encouraging me to share this with people.
synopsis: You are a little goddess of peace, alone for so long, fearing interacting with the outside world may just make things worse. odin hears of your existence and finds that you may be of use to him, but what will happen when he finds out that peace to you means freedom and fighting for what's right? what will he do as you, just a child, turn his allies against him? turn his son against him?
the reader will be a child for a few chapters, mute at times (spoilers) and the first few chapters will also be a back story before the events of Ragnorok, but we will get there as it is based on the game's plot! aka: Don't worry, there will be some adult pining as well, maybe smut??( idk what I'm doing) and you will see Atreus and Mimir, and Kratos and the rest of our found family.
please enjoy and let me know if you like this and want more because my plan is to write a pretty long story with multiple chapters and I enjoy positive enforcement :..)
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“Excuse me?” a timid voice whispered from the large wooden chest being hoisted between two winged warriors. The moonlight of Vaneheim shone through the keyhole, and YN could only guess the direction they were headed from her memory of the woods. She knocked on the inside of the box on the side of one of her captors. “E-excuse me?” she mumbled a bit louder, “ Um, where are we going? You shouldn’t take me too close to people. And I-it’s starting to feel a bit cramped in here-” A slam came from her left, cutting her off with a start and she held her breath.
“Shut your mouth, Serpent Tongue.” A voice of the Valkerie on her left boomed. YN sighed through her nose and sat silently, her little fingers squeezing into fists and resting on her thighs as she curled up tighter into the cramped chest. Her heart shuttered the farther they got away from her camp, and she could only hope that wherever she was going, she would be able to talk her way out of it and go back to solitude. It was best that way.
Suddenly, the marching of the two Valkeries stopped, and the rushing sound of wind and the screeching of ravens rang in YN’s ears.
The chest rattled, and sweeping darkness fluttered over the moon’s light streaming through the keyhole. YN shut her eyes tightly, covering her ears as the screeching and wings got louder and louder until suddenly there was silence. Not eery, or deafening, but somehow suddenly calm and warm. YN slowly uncovered her ears, willing her eyes to open even slightly. A warm stream of candlelight and the sweet smell of juniper berries and oak came from the keyhole. She slowly rolled onto her knees and peeked out to see where she had been taken. The room was vast and stacked from floor to ceiling with books. Scrolls lay sprawled across a large wooden desk, and she could hear a fire crackling to the left. The screeching of a chair’s legs against the wood floor took her attention, and as she tried to peek at who it was, she gasped; the chest being dropped about a foot onto the floor.
“All-father,” the Valkyries stood rigidly at attention, “We have captured the girl, as requested.” The bottom half of a blue robe, embroidered in intricate golden threads and beading was all YN could see come into view and she swallowed thickly as he stood only a few feet from where she was.
“Wha- she’s in there? The poor thing must be terrified, let her out at once!” He commanded, knocking on the top of the chest, “ I’m so sorry, dear child!” Odin apologized as the Valkyrie on the right unlocked the chest and both Valkyries lifted the top open. Inside, YN winced at the sudden flood of light and hid her face in her hands. Odin crouched down gently, resting his hands on the edge of the box. He waited patiently for the little girl to raise her head, peeking slightly at the man who just smiled down at her. “ I’m so sorry, child. I sent my valkyries because I knew they could be trusted with bringing you here unharmed, but I suppose I forgot to explain that you were to be treated as a guest,” he glared at one, “and not a suspect.” he glared at the other. They stayed unmoving, staring straight ahead. He sighed and turned his attention back to the little girl in the chest. “ You are here now, though, and you are safe now.” He said finally, reaching out a hand for her to grab. She stared at him for a moment and down at his hand, before slowly grabbing it and allowing him to help her from the chest.
“Thank you…” she whispered finally as she got her footing on the wood floor. She still couldn’t look away from their hands as she spoke again. “Am I… in trouble? I apologize if I’ve done anything to upset you.” she froze at the sudden booming laughter of the man in front of her.
“ Trouble? Of course not, sweet girl. But you are very well-spoken, may I just say!”
“Thank you, sir.”
“ You may call me All-Father.” he offered with a pat on her hand. She nodded apprehensively but responded in any case.
“Thank you, All-Father. You may call me YN,” she said instead, bowing a bit lower. Odin tutted and tucked a finder under the girl's chin, making their eyes meet.
“ Now, now. None of that.” he stood tall and with a wave of his hand, the Valkeries dismissed themselves, and YN and Odin were left alone in his study. Odin turned to walk back behind his desk and took a seat, ushering the girl to sit in front of him. She obliged, crawling onto the large chair and letting her feet dangle off the floor, barely able to see Odin over the desk. The man chuckled softly and leaned in closer, resting his elbows on a stack of scrolls. “Do you know why you’re here, YN?”
She thought for a moment before shaking her head. “No, sir. But I hope I can help in some way, so that I may return home. It is best you keep me away from others.” Odin chuckled again, pointing at her.
“That. That’s why—quite the negotiator. You are very well-spoken, YN, and you are so small. Did your family teach you such good manners?” he questioned, already knowing the answer.
“No sir, my family passed away long ago, I’ve been on my own for a bit now.”
“Hm… and how long is a bit?”
“ 3 years in the spring, sir,” she said a bit too quickly. She had been counting every day she had been alone since she could remember. She was truly just a tot when it happened. Only remembering the screams and the flame of her village burning to the ground. She remembered sobbing over her mother’s corpse and promising to never let any needless bloodshed happen again. She didn’t realize her grief was so strong it had cursed her with immortality and the responsibility to hold up her end of the bargain. And though she tried her best to learn and meditate, no one took a little girl asking them to stop fighting seriously. Godly rage in the hands of an emotional child caused more harm than good, turning entire civilizations into mindless drones. No bloodshed, but no soul either. She went into hiding soon after, thinking it better for people to fight for what they believed in, rather than being complacent.
“And you don’t look a day over 12 years.” Odin broke her out of deep thought and she only nodded.
“My… aging has slowed since my family has passed...” She spoke slowly, starting to understand the circumstances.”... you know who I am, don’t you, sir? What I am…” She simply watched as Odin stroked his beard, seeming to ponder what to say next.
“ I do…you are the young goddess of logic, strategy, protection…peace. You seek nothing but peace… And do you know who I am?” He questioned. YN paused for a moment, looking around the room before meeting his gaze once again, “ You are someone important… but I do not know beyond that, I am sorry…” Odin nodded again.
“ I am Odin, the All-Father. Kind of the Asir Gods. it is my job to protect Asgard and the rest of the 9 realms.”
“Odin…” The girl let the name linger on her tongue and realization made her go ridged. “Yes… Yes, I have heard of Odin… are we in Asgard? I thought it wasn’t allowed for people like me.”Odin laughed at this, shaking his head in amusement.
“Yes for our protection I have closed us off from the other realms. But you are a guest. You’ve been alone for a long time.” He stated.
“Yes, sir. I know nothing much outside of Vaneheim, and I have spent little time talking to people enough to understand what is happening in the realms. The easiest way to keep peace for me… is to keep space…”
“Mmh…” he hummed, hinting he wanted some elaboration. The girl nodded and continued,
“ I have found that when I speak… when I speak with people and I’m not careful… they become, uhm… empty?” she tried the word on her tongue, “they don’t act the same. Like ghosts just passing by each other. There is no war or hunger… but there is also no life…” she explained, starting to lose her train of thought. “I just don’t know what I’m doing…” she whispers finally. Odin nods and straightens himself to look down at YN.
“ I’ve been keeping my eye on you for a while, dear child. You seemed so alone, it was heartbreaking…Are you lonely?”
“Yes.” She spoke, without hesitation, not even quite realizing her own words until they rang in her ears. She stiffened in realization, but slowly relaxed into her seat, fidgeting with her hands. “Yes, I am…I don’t run into people much… and Skoll and Hati are a great company, but I miss… I miss my family…” she all but whispered at last, her lip quivering as she came to the realization this was the longest conversation she’s had in nearly 50 years. A blink of an eye in her immortal life, but long and unbearable just the same. She was, after all, only a child. Odin took a moment to listen and let the girl sit in silence before standing up slowly and walking up to her before crouching at her side.
“ I have been watching over you… and how deeply you care for every breathing creature around you so much that you find the strength to stay away is something deeply admirable. You are a very powerful, YN. And I think if you stayed here with me… I would be able to help you use your power to help Asgard build strong connections with all the realms, to create peace everywhere, without fear that you may be manipulating people with your words.”
YN looked up to meet Odin’s gaze and rubbed a tear welling up in her eye. The idea that she may be able to help so many people. May be able to stop needless bloodshed. And to do so without taking away people's free will. It made her heart thrum with hope for the first time in years.
“You think you can teach me?” she asked softly, rubbing under her nose. Odin smiled, resting his withered hand on her head. “Teach me to help people? To help build relationships and… and keep their souls whole?”
“With my help?” Odin asked dramatically, “ Absolutely.”
YN’s heart pumped fast in her chest and she couldn't stop herself from throwing her little arms around Odin’s neck, pressing her teary eyes into his shoulder. He stiffened, staring at the girl clinging to him, before relaxing with a chuckle and patting her back. She knew better than to trust strangers, but for the first time in a long time, she didn’t feel alone.
“We will talk more soon, but now it is late. Let me show you to your room, There is a hot meal waiting for you, and we don’t want it to get cold now, do we?” He held her at arm's length by the shoulders and helped her whip her tears with the end of his robe. She could only nod as she tried to subside her gently sobbing and Odin stood tall, guiding her with a gentle hand on her head to the upstairs level of the lodge. It was mostly quiet, with gentle murmurs coming from a room here or there. The candlelight felt so calming and YN took this moment to just take in the grandness of the lodge.
“ It’s so big…” she whispered. Odin snickered and ruffled her hair.
“I suppose it is, isn’t it?” he stopped in front of a large oak door at the end of the hall with gold inlay and burnt carvings. He swung the door open to reveal and gently lit the room, Simple yes, but to YN? It was the picture of comfort. I fireplace in one corner, a large queen bed in the other piled with a stack of fine furs with a corner table. A bowl of stew steamed and being cooled by a light breeze flowing through the window. Finally, her eyes landed on two shelves, one full of books and one full of weapons.
“Weapons?” she looked at them quizzically. Odin simply nodded as he led her to her bed, pulling the small table closer so she could start eating.
“ yes. You will be taught to hone your brains, but every Asgardian god must learn to fight. It’s an unfortunate precaution. But it’s because I care so deeply for my family.” YN, swallowing a piping mouthful and staring at Odin with eyes wide as dinner plates.
“Family… me?”
Odin just smiled in return leaning town to tuck a stray hair behind the girl’s ear and kissing the top of her head.
“Get some rest, sweet girl.” With that, Odin walked to the door and bowed before taking his leave. As he shut the door and turned, he could see piercing pink eyes staring from the room across the way. “Heimdall?” he questioned, and was met by the embarrassed gasp of the little boy who had been caught red-handed. Odin sauntered over to the door and the door opened wider, revealing a young boy who looked about twelve, with a mop of golden blond hair and bright rosy sapphire eyes, freckles showing in the candlelight. The boy bowed deeply.
“I’m sorry, All father. I heard noises…different ones I mean.” He stated, not looking his father in the eyes. He seemed to wince now and then, as a barrage of noises and conversations pounded into his ears. Odin patted his head lightly and Heimdall looked up, trying not to show his nervousness. “Who is that girl?”
“A guest, Heimdall. She’ll be staying with us for a while.”
“A guest… do you think she can be trusted, All-father?” Heimdall looked nervously beyond his father’s figure, staring at the door and listening to what could be happening. There was the clinking of a spoon hitting the bottom of a bowl, the crackle of a dying fire, and a soft hum that seemed to soothe his trembling the more he focused on it. He looked back as his father chortled.
“ I suppose I’ll leave that up to you. She can be of great use to us as a mediator, and she seems eager to help if it means she can learn her powers. But only time will tell.” Heimdall nodded, wringing his hands together nervously as he spoke up again.
“ Do you think… we could be friends, All-Father?”
“Friends? My boy, I’m sorry but I can’t have you getting too distracted. It would be best if you could read her mind and be done with it. If only you were improving faster.” He tsked and Heimdall lowered his head.
“And besides,” Odin continued, “ She will have her own studies to focus on.” Heimdall’s shoulders drooped at the answer and he nodded, meekly. Odin sighed, pinching his temple in slight annoyance before putting on another smile and resting a hand on his Son’s shoulder. “Listen… I will introduce you two, and maybe I can have you two do some combat training here or there. This will allow you the opportunity to learn more about her; do some intel work for me, hm? But you have a very important role to fulfill, Heimdall, I can’t let you lose sight of that. Alright?” Heimdall perked up slightly and nodded.
“Yes, All-father. Thank you, All-father. I promise I won’t get distracted,” he bowed deeply and retreated behind his bedroom door. “Good night, All-Father.”
Heimdall spun from the door, his little bare feet carrying him to his bed where he tucked himself into his furs. He would learn more about the girl with the soft voice tomorrow.
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YN woke to the sound of bustling outside her door. She rubbed her eyes, listening to the heavy footfalls of leather boots and the clatter of daggers and axes dangling off belts. She took in the noise of people talking and shouting down the hall, the sound of sparing outside her window, and what sounded like staff calling out to each other while running errands. She rubbed her tired eyes, stretched her arms high above her head, and flopped deeper into the furs, opening her eyes to look at the ceiling. The more she listened, the more it made her nervous; the thought she was so close to so many people. Her lips pressed tight, she sighed through her nose to ease her nerves.
“ Just don’t try to fix anything…” She mumbled to herself. She didn’t know where she was and how long she would be here, and though Odin had been welcoming and explained that being locked in the chest was a gross misunderstanding, she couldn’t shake a feeling of unnerve hidden under the warmth she felt being in a soft bed and being fed kind words. She learned long ago to never trust first impressions, but being paranoid wouldn’t help either. She felt her body start to shiver but caught herself, frowning and smacking her cheeks lightly to knock out the nerves. “Everything will be fine.”
“Who are you talking to?”
“Ah!” she yelped and sprang up from her bed to see a maid had made herself comfortable in YN’s room. The maid paid no mind to the girl’s scream, simply walking over to the window to open it, letting a cool breeze in.
“I was wondering when you would finally wake up. Goodness, I only checked five different times this morning! The whole lodge is awake now and you are supposed to be at the training grounds in 30 minutes!” She was an older woman; round and soft with a simple dress that skated across the floor and a tattered apron covered in what looked like coffee stains and dust. She had rough brown hair with lightened streaks that showed her age. Crow's feet pulled at the corners of her eyes and she had permanent worry marks on her forehead. Despite that and her fast pace, she gave off a comforting aura that made YN feel safe. She hustled about, grabbing a shirt and a pair of trousers from a wooden cabinet, she set them on the bed and the girl's feet. “My name is Maliorn; you can call me Mal, Do not call me “maid” or I will smack you,” she warned. “Quickly now, grab these and come with me. I need to get you in the bath and dressed in 20 minutes.”
“Oh, ok, but-whoa!” The maid ushered her out of the hall and pushed her towards a grand bathroom. “W-wait I’m sorry I don’t understand can I at least-” YN yelped as she was shoved yet again.
“No time, we are far too behind for questions. Hurry, hurry, hurry!” YN felt eyes around staring at her, most likely because she was an unfamiliar face being corralled into a bath and trying and failing to get a word in. Before the maid slammed the door, YN saw bright pink eyes stare back into hers, the boy’s shoulders shaking in laughter at her. Her face flushed with embarrassment and she couldn’t do much but hide her face in her clothes. Mal huffed as YN simply froze and ushered her to the bath. “None of that now. I wouldn’t have to rush you if you had just woken up earlier. Clothes off please.”
“I didn’t know I needed to, I’ve never had a schedule before,” YN explained, pulling her nightshirt off over her head. “I’m sorry, Ma’am.”
“Just Mal, dear,” Mal stated, picking YN up from under her arms and dropping her into the bath. YN gasped, shivering and trying to crawl out before Mal pushed her back and poured a pitcher of ice-cold water onto her head, grabbing shampoo.
“It’s f-freezing!” YN whined, shaking like a leaf as Mal pulled her sopping hair from her face and scrubbed any grime from it.
“Tch, well it would have been warm if you were awake when I drew it.” Mal teased with a smile, pouring another pitcher of water to wash the suds out. After a more thorough scrub down than YN would have liked, Mal pulled her out of the bath, tossing her a soft towel. “Hurry and get dressed. If you are quick you may be able to grab some bread from the great hall before I take you to the training grounds. Do NOT,” mal pointed a finger at the girls forehead “ go to the great hall alone. Find me and I will get you something to eat.” With that, Mal slipped out of the room, most likely to run off and take care of her other duties while she waited for YN to get dressed. The girl finally took the first deep breath since she woke up and pulled on her black trousers and green tunic, tying in the back around her waist to stop any bunching. She used leather straps to tighten the cloth of her shirt to her wrists, as well as her trousers around her ankles. She wrapped a final piece around her hair into a ponytail and ran off to try and find Mal.
YN ended up wandering into the great hall, The smell of fresh bread and lingonberry jam, sausage and lamb roast, porridge and honey, and even sweet almond cakes made her mouth water. She followed it to a main table, crowded by people nearly stacked on top of each other. Warriors in the morning were desperate to eat their fill before going off to train, and as a result, there were stronger warriors at the forefront hoarding food while others pushed against the table to grab at anything they could find. This caused fresh loaves, cakes, butter, and jam jars to topple off the table in a waste, causing more problems of ‘I was going to eat that!’ and ‘You owe me a new pair of boots, worm!’.
YN was able to dissect the entire situation and how it could be fixed, but shook her head. ‘No’ she thought ‘I can’t intervene on my first day. I just need to grab something and leave.’ With that, YN tried her best to squeeze between the crowds of people swarming the table to get some food. She huffed and tried again to move past the large lumbering bodies, her heart beating faster as the crowd’s shouting made her lose her bearings. She started to panic at the yelling and lack of space and gasped as she was grabbed by the hair and yanked to the side.
“Oy, I’m not done yet, vermin.” A man sneered down at her, his face caked in the oils of sausage links and jam. He spoke with his mouth full, sputtering food, and cackled as YN whipped her face from flying crumbs before turning back to his food. YN scowled, feeling something primal bubble up deep inside her. Letting her frustration get the better of her, YN took a deep breath before tugging on the leg of the einherjar who had grabbed her not a moment ago. He whipped around at her, snarling in annoyance.
“What do you want, you little rat?” the man sneered. YN blinked her big eyes and smiled up shyly at the hulk of a man.
“I’m very sorry, sir, but I’m having some trouble getting to the food table. Don’t you think it would be better if everyone simply took turns grabbing what they needed and then taking a seat?” Her voice seemed to echo and carry through the great hall like a song, and the shouting and clamoring started to quiet as people listened to her “suggestion”. The man in front of YN seemed to get clouded vision as he nodded slowly, his features relaxing as he finally swallowed his food and moved to the side so she could get to the table, others following suit, humming in agreement at the suggestion. The girl smiled and grabbed a loaf of warm bread, breaking it open and watching the steam ripple from the inside. She hummed as she slathered it with butter and jam and folded it back closed. Turning back, she bowed slightly at the crowd slowly surrounding her.
“Thank you, now I will take my leave and let someone else go. See? Isn’t that much better?” the girl asked with a smile, going to suck some jam off her thumb.
“Yes… You are right. So sorry, goddess…” She froze at the title, her thumb still in her mouth. She quickly popped it out and shook her head. ‘I did it again…’ she thought in a panic. YN swallowed thickly and waved her hands in the air.
“N-nevermind! It was a dumb idea, do what you want!” In a split second everyone seemed to regain their senses. The warrior she had spoken to blinked back his foggy haze and focused back down at her, glaring.
“Hey! What do you think you’re doing? I wasn’t done eating yet, you little runt!” She gasped as he reached out his arm to snatch at her, and yelped when she was suddenly pulled by her scruff from the crowd. She was all but dragged outside and whipped around to a panicked Mal, who grabbed her face and scanned her body.
“My goodness, are you alright?!” Mal sighed as the girl nodded and then put on a scowl. “I thought I told you to come find me. The great hall is no place for you to be going alone, they’re all animals in there. ESPECIALLY in the mornings! The bunch of heathens.” Mal scolded YN until she noticed the girl's shy form looking meakly down at her bread. She sighed and patted her head before putting a hand on her back and leading her towards the training ground. “Now now, no use crying over spilled milk. I’m glad you got something to eat, you’ll need it. Hurry and wolf that down while you can.” YN nodded and took a bite of her breakfast, humming at the soft texture of the bread and sweet jam. She looked towards the training grounds and focused on a small boy, about her age. His golden hair shimmered in the morning sun as he moved swiftly against his opponent, a large lumbering man with fiery red hair. The boy turned, feeling YN’s eyes on him, scowled as he met her gaze. The girl frowned in return. ‘What’s his problem?’ she thought, suddenly feeling anxious at having to interact with someone who held such obvious disdain on his face.
Heimdall clicked his tongue as he focused more on her, trying to hear her thoughts, but couldn’t focus when they were so far apart. He didn’t pay enough attention to dodge a blow to the back of the head from the man he was sparing.
“Ow!” he exclaimed, glaring up at his brother, “ Hey, I wasn’t ready!” he snapped. The young man rolled his eyes, tossing his hammer lazily in his hand. He was nearly seven feet tall and still growing. His hair was tied back in two braids and a bun, and the scruff of his beard was just long enough for a single short braid.
“Pay attention, brat. I have more important things to do than teach you how to swing a sword around. The least you could do is pay attention,” he looked down at Heimdall and smirked, “and stop making it so obvious you’re trying to read minds. It’s pathetic.” Heimdall gritted his teeth.
“I’m already more useful than you, Thor. All you’re good for is throwing your weight around!” he snapped back. Thor stopped tossing his hammer and instead harshly held it under his brother’s chin, making him strain to look up at him.
“Better than being a sniveling little monster who can’t even use his gifts without sobbing like a baby. Should I tell All-Father about a few nights back? When you wept for hours because “it was just too loud to sleep~” Thor made a mocking whimper as he impersonated Heimdall and his last episode. Heimdall shivered at the mention of the All-Father and what he would do if he found out Heimdall had been crying from the voices in his head again. Thor continued, “At least I do what I was made for. I can fight, and you can barely do that.”
“Yes, I can!”
“Oh yeah?” Thor looked over at the girl coming closer to the training ground. Odin had already told him he was going to be given another brat to babysit and was dreading it until now. He smirked as he looked back down at Heimdall. “That little runt has probably never fought in her life. I bet you can’t even beat her.” Heimdall looked back towards the girl and then up at his brother.
“Is that a wager?” he smirked. Thor snorted.
“Sure. if you can best her, I’ll tell Father you’ve been improving much faster these past few days. If you can’t beat her, then…” Thor strokes his beard as he ponders a punishment then shrugs, “I’ll tell the All-Father about your most recent tantrum.” Heimdall’s eyes widened and he shook his head.
“You can’t be serious!”Thor simply stood straight and crossed his arms.
“I mean, if you don’t think you can do it-”
“Of course, I can!” the boy snapped, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Thor snickered and held out his hand.
“It's a bet then.” Heimdall scowled and put his little hand in his brother's. He wasn’t going to lose to some little girl from who knows where. He was an Aseir prince. And no one would know about the things that keep him up at night. Not even the All-Father.
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Bought Lies of P to find out what my bestie is hyperfixed about😔💅✨
✧God of War✧
Fics:
I am kind, not Complacent {1}, {2}, {3}, {4}, {5}, {6}, {7}
Pairing: Heimdall x Fem!reader
multi-chapter, not complete: last updated 10/14/23
Synopsis: You are a young goddess of peace and logic. You were given this gift as a child, and after trying and failing to create peace without consequences, you chose to live in isolation from the rest of the realms in Vanaheim, fearing you would only make things worse. Odin hears tale of your powers and hopes to harness them in his schemes to manipulate the other realms. As you grow up you meet many interesting characters, and forge strong bonds, but lose much along the way. why does Heimdall hate you so much? why do you hate him? why do you make each other's hearts pound in your ears?
enemies to friends, to enemies, to lovers
three main arcs: childhood, adulthood(before GOW) and present(GOW Ragnarok)
Warnings: language at times, game-level violence, characters suffering overstimulation, angst angst angst, hurt comfort, more angst, happy ending I PROMISE. ( I will update these warnings as well as add warnings to each chapter if I find there is something that may not be easy for some people to read. if you feel I haven't warned something appropriately please don't be afraid to let me know!)
A/N: this is my first fic??? ever???? so please be gentle. I have written some freelance fiction and poetry before but nothing on Tumblr. I have been in a bit of a rut and wanted to just have fun and hyper-fixate on something and share it with people. I hope everyone enjoys!
Also a huge thank you to everyone who has supported me and encouraged me to write this! special thank you in particular to @engardeitsme for inspiring me, encouraging me, and hyping me up, it means so much to me <3 <3 <3
I am Kind Not Complacent Chpt 2
I am Kind not Complacent chpt 2
{prev},{next}
Heimdall gow x reader
word count: 6 k
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hello and thank you to every single person who has liked, commented, and reblogged my silly little story. I'm so glad I can make a few people smile and share my little fic. if anyone would like me to tag them to make finding the next chapter easier in the future please don't be afraid to ask!
as always, enjoy and have fun reading!
@engardeitsme as always, love bouncing ideas off and getting to share stuff with you before I post it! thank you for helping again! @lunaryasha @nokolla I hope you enjoy Thank you so much for your support and kind words <3
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As YN got closer to the training grounds, Her limbs got ridged and her steps were more sluggish.
“Um, Mal?”
“Yes?”
“I don’t think I can do this.” She froze in her tracks, whimpering as Mal tried to move her forward. She sighed and grabbed hold of the girl’s arm. YN leaned against her pulling, digging her heels into the mossy floor. “I-I mean I’ve only fought to get away, I don’t know anything about combat!” she looked up at Mal pleading, Her cheeks going rosy in embarrassment, “A-and I don’t know these people…” Mal huffed, looking back at Thor and Heimdall as they seemed to be waiting for YN, getting more and more annoyed the longer she took to get there.
“I’m afraid you don’t have a choice really, do you? No come on, I'll introduce you. But you need to act properly. They are the Aesir princes and as someone under Asgard they now rule over you as well, you should know,” Mal tried to encourage the girl while also pressing it was important not to keep the princes waiting, “I’m sure they won’t go hard on you, dear little thing.”
“Oh? Are they nice?” YN asked, a bit hopeful. Mal looked at her as if she had grown a second head.
“Ni-? No, they’re princes. But you’re so small and sweet, so they may lose interest in you. Where did you say you were from again?”
“Vanaheim.”
“...Mmh,” Mal just hummed, now getting s bit nervous herself for the girl.
YN frowned at Mal’s lack of help. She almost felt like she was going to throw up. Meeting new people? who were mean? And she had to spare with them?
“B-but why do I have to? Why now? I-I just got here, d-don’t you think-”
“Ah ah ah, don’t you go doing that negotiating thing. I saw what you did at breakfast. Now let’s hurry on, I rather not keep the Aesir princes waiting.” YN swallowed thickly, looking down at her feet as she allowed Mal to drag her the rest of the way. They stopped at the edge of the sparing area, where the dirt had gone wet and muddy from constant trampling. Thor quickly blocked a hit from young Heimdall and looked over at Mal and the girl.
“Lord Thor, Lord Heimdall,” Mal lowered her head and put her hand on YN’s head to elicit a bow as well. “This is YN, a guest of the All-Father’s. She is to train with you today for an introduction to Aesir's fighting tactics.”
“Took you long enough, come here, I don’t have all day.” Thor didn’t even glance an eye at Mal, his focus purely on YN who gulped as he pointed to a spot at his feet. Heimdall didn’t even spare her a glance as he made his way to the opposite side of the circle across from Thor. YN felt Mal give her one more nudge as she finally moved to stand in front of the thunder god.
“I will take my leave,” Mal stated, before turning back towards the great lodge. YN tightened her fists as she watched Mal retreat. Thor crossed his arms as the girl stood in front, craning her neck up at him. She gulped and dipped into a deep bow. ‘Just introduce yourself, don’t speak too much, and maybe this won’t be so bad. Maybe they’ll go easy if I’m polite.’ YN thought she heard a scoff come from behind her at the thought. But that was impossible.
“Hello, my name is YN of Vanaheim and I am the goddess of peace. I was brought here to-” She peeked up at the sound of Thor clicking his tongue in annoyance or boredom, she wasn’t sure. She swallowed thickly, focusing on her feet, “U-um to be of assistance in some way t-to the All-Father?”
Yn gasped at a sudden large hand on her shoulder, roughly twisting her to face the blond boy on the other side of the sparing circle, and nearly tripped into the mud as she was shoved forward.
“Quickly, let’s see where you are. Heimdall, keep her face intact. We don’t want to be scolded by Father, do we?” YN could almost hear the smirk in Thor’s voice and tried not to show her fear as the boy in front of her picked up two swords, the blades dulled for training. He tossed one to the girl and she caught it before it hit the ground, surprised at the weight of it. YN was shocked as the boy seemed to disappear from in front of her and yelped as she was kicked sharply in the back, skidding in the mud but staying on her feet. She whipped around to see Heimdall starting to circle her, smirking with his lips but glaring at her intensely.
“Gods you pathetic. ‘Maybe I’ll go easy if you’re polite’? Ha!” he laughed sarcastically, before sneering and rushing YN. She moved quickly to try and block, their swords straining against each other as he leaned in, overpowering her easily.
“Wh-what are you talking about?” Her eyes widened as she processed his words. What would happen if she failed? Would she be shunned again, would she be shut out? Didn’t she want to go home? Why did the thought of isolation suddenly scare her so much?
She thought of how to get out of the stalemate, wanting to parry and jump back to put some distance so she could have more options. But as she moved to do so, Hiemdall was quick to twist her around and shove her back from him. While she stumbled, her back turned, he moved quickly again, grabbing her by a fistful of hair and kneeing her hard in the ribs.
“And thinking we could ever get along? That you’ll ever belong here? Don’t make me laugh. Crawl on your belly like a dog and maybe I’ll tell the All-Father to send you back to your hovel in one piece, Vanir scum.” there was venom in his voice. Even at this young age, godly strength knocked the air out of her and she sputtered, coughing up drops of blood onto his once pristine tunic. He scoffed in disgust and pushed her back. Her mind raced as her vision blurred. She dissected the situation, his movements, reaction time, and words. She caught her breath, feeling him approach again behind her, and whipped around, knocking him in the brow with the hilt of her sword. Heimdall stumbled back in a daze and stared at the girl in disbelief. He wasn’t planning on retaliation, so he had stopped reading her movements.
He watched her as she panted, her face contouring into a snarl as she squared her shoulders and changed her stance from submissive to feral; like a beast trying to get away from a hunter. Desperate, scared, angry.
“That’s a dirty trick,” she growled out, straightening to stare into his eyes, “you have some nerve crawling into spaces you’re not welcome.” he was caught off guard by the statement, shocked that she had found him out so quickly. Thor meanwhile just rolled his eyes on the sidelines, thinking his brother was a fool for talking too much and revealing his hand so easily. Heimdall flushed in embarrassment as he heard Thor’s thoughts prodding into his head and growled, lunging in frustration. YN was able to narrowly dodge and the two circled each other.
“You catch on fast,” Heimdall offered with a sneer.
“You talk too much,” YN bit back, guarding her body just in time as Heimdall attacked again.
Thor noticed the following pattern:
Heimdall would always attack first, getting a few good hits in. he moved fast, and precise; then got cocky and didn’t remember to put space between him and his opponent. He had a bad habit at his young age of underestimating enemies and didn’t use his foresight as fluidly as he should be,(or so Odin thought, and told Thor to push him harder.)
YN was the opposite. She seemed to almost run away, backing away and refusing to keep her eyes off her opponent for as long as possible, and constantly whipping around to try and keep up. She would try to defend herself, taking a slash to the arm, or leg while protecting her core, and when Heimdall got careless she would go in to retaliate. Her movements were hard-hitting and violent, going for jabs hard enough to push Heimdall across the field or knock the air out of his lungs. That said, she was precise in her own way. Thor also noticed that as Heimdall seemed not to care where he hit the girl, aiming for arteries, joints, and soft spots; she only aimed for places that would discombobulate him, throw him off balance, and put space between them. Thor stroked his beard in thought, calling out to Heimdall.
“You need to use your powers, Heimdall,” He scolded, “you underestimate too much, and you need to do so quickly, process the information, and act accordingly.”
“Underestimate?” Heimdall scoffed and dropped his stance to stifle a sarcastic laugh. YN stiffened at the mockery and growled.
“Well, what kind of god who can read minds lets his opponent land hits on him?” She barked, blocking another attack and ducking to elbow him in the side. Heimdall was quick to pary and kicked against the length of her sword, knocking her off balance.
“Maybe you just think yourself too highly. What is a goddess of peace supposed to be able to do in a real fight? You haven’t attacked me once! Goddess of pushovers more like!” He cackled, nearly doubling over. YN dropped her stance, her cheeks searing red in anger and embarrassment.
“Try goddess of logic and tactic, you oaf!” Her heart pounded in her ears as her anger started to rise. She wanted to stand up for herself. She wanted to reason with him. She wanted to rip his tongue out from his teeth and-
“Ooh! Such snark! Not very peaceful of you, Queen Kindness ~”
“I’m warning you!” ‘Be calm. Be calm. Be calm. Don’t let your anger get the best of you. It will only end badly. Just breath.’
“Oh or what? You’ll sign a peace treaty? Bake me a cake? Cry and beg for forgiveness?” Heimdall was almost out of breath from laughter, and YN saw red. Suddenly time stood still as Heimdall’s laughter was cut off by a mound of mud flying into his face. YN watched satisfied as the dirt dripped down his chin and smeared down the front of his tunic.
Thor snorted and threw his head in laughter as he watched Heimdall swipe his hand down his face, his fiery pink eyes searing holes into the girl's face.
“I told you to shut up!” she shouted, She reeled her hand back with another pile of mud. Heimdall dodged, running at her full force and grabbing her face, slamming her down into the mud.
“You repulsive little worm.” he snarled, watching her sink into the ground under his weight. With her face still covered under his palm, she blindly grabbed another fistful and slammed it into the side of his head, knocking him off of her and deafening him in one ear momentarily. Thor was wheezing, doubled over the fence. YN stood slowly, the weight of water and dirt seeped into her clothes and hair dragging her down. She looked down at her grimy hands and shook them once, spraying mud and hitting Heimdall with droplets of muck.
“I don’t bake cake” she stated, smearing mud off her face nonchalantly. “But you’ll find I’m quite good at mud pies,” She smirked as Heimdall shook his head, regaining his senses. The next three minutes were full of pure chaos.
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“ Sire, are you certain that Lord Thor and Lord Heimdall were the best suited for the job of testing the girl’s abilities?” A man with curved horns spoke, walking a foot behind Odin at all times.
“Of course. Heimdall and her are nearly the same age, so it’s a fair fight wouldn’t you say?”
“Yes sir, but Heimdall is young and doesn’t know how to hold back at times. That with his fighting prowess and Thor’s…buffoonery, may cause a bit of disastrous cocktail.” Odin laughed at Mimir’s statement, holding his belly.
“I always appreciate your bluntness, dear friend!” Odin regains his composure with a sigh, still smiling slightly. “That may be true, but I need Heimdall to read the girl’s mind. And because he is progressing so slowly, he still needs to be close and be able to concentrate, making the whole ordeal less than ideal. And Thor? He’s just grounded and I knew he would hate the job of babysitting.” Mimir frowned at this, not sure why Odin was so carefree about having his two most hot-headed sons be with their new guest. “ I fear Tyr or Baldur would go far too easy on the poor creature. I need results quickly to see where she stands. I just hope they haven’t beaten her too badly.”
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Mud flew in every direction, both from wads being thrown at each other, or residual splatter from tackling each other into the ground and wrestling each other like feral little goblins.
“Ugh!! You are such a little weasel!” YN screamed as Heimdall managed to slip behind her, shoving mud down the back of her shirt, but not before she flipped around and tackled him to the ground, shaking his shoulders violently and slamming him into the mud. He growled, his eyes glowing as he flipped her over, pinning her to the ground under his hips and yanking her hair, smearing it with dirt.
“Oh yeah!? Well, you’re nothing but a squawking raven!”
YN reached up, yanking at Hiemdall’s mud-caked hair, pulling so they flipped and rolled across the floor. Heimdall elbowed her in the eye. She yelped and punched him in the nose, pinning him to the ground, and closed the gap between them. Her hands found home around his throat and she didn’t feel herself squeeze, tighter, tighter, tighter. Heimdall gasped for air, kneeing her in her already bruised ribs. She screamed out in pain, her grip loosening and Heimdall threw her off, making her skid into the mud, curling up in pain as her side throbbed.
“Hey, alright, that’s enough,” Thor called, getting closer to the two, still chuckling at the state of his brother. Heimdall heaved, grabbing a sword that lay forgotten in the mud.
“Heimdall, come on, put the sword down,” Thor spoke firmly this time, reaching to grab the sword, Heimdall yanked free of his hold and trudged over, raising the sword above his head to swing down, YN nursed her side and prepared to dodge and tackle him again.
“Heimdall!”
“ What is the meaning of this!?” A voice boomed, making the children both freeze. YN watched as Heimdall’s eyes widened in horror, dropping the sword and stepping away from her immediately, getting down on one knee in the mud and bowing his head, eyes screwed to the ground. Thor followed, not even the hint of a smile on his face anymore. YN finally looked up, seeing Odin approaching with a scowl on his face, followed by a man with curved horns atop his head, his eyes shining with what looked like opals.
Odin turned immediately to Thor, his arms crossed and his foot tapping as he waited impatiently for an answer. Thor straightened, deciding to look at the children instead of his father.
“They were just sparing, All-Father. Nothing but some roughhousing.”
“Roughhousing?” Mimir drawled out as he walked closer to YN. “They’re covered head to toe in filth. And this one’s eye is swollen shut!” He grabbed YN's face to get a good look at the bruising. He tutted and walked over to Heimdall, looking him over as well. Heimdall winced as the man checked his nose. “Oh lovely,” he spoke sarcastically, looking back at Thor and Odin. “his nose is broken!”
Odin sighed, bordering on a groan as he pinched the bridge of his nose. YN couldn’t explain it but despite what only looked like mild frustration, there seemed to be electricity in the air. She was not blind to the way Heimdall seemed to cower under his father’s gaze, and Thor seemed so small all of a sudden in the All-Father’s presence. The way everyone reacted to him unnerved YN and she hated the feeling of tension closing in on everyone.
“Boys, I told you to train her, not maim her. Mimir helps her up, will you?”
Mimir gently grabbed her arm, helping her to stand, and walked her over to Odin’s side.
“ S-sir it was my fault. I-I’m no good at fighting! I fought desperately and my temper got the better of me, I’m deeply truly sorry.” She tried to reason. Heimdall peaked up at her, confused as to why she would bother to take the blame. She didn’t know him or his brother. Didn’t she know what would happen if she spoke out of turn? Heimdall couldn’t help the pang of jealousy he felt at the way his father acted towards the girl. How his voice softened. Was she manipulating him? Heimdall tried reading her mind but he was still dazed from the scuffle the two had had.
Odin cut off the girl’s apologies by holding his hand up, shushing her silently.
“ I won’t hear it. You are a guest and in a strange new land. You were taken from your home and told to fight without any time to understand what was going on. I simply wasn’t thinking. And for that, I am sorry. I was supposed to come here to introduce you and watch you spar, not fight! But I thought to myself, ‘Surely my sons will do well in some friendly competition. I mustn’t worry so much!’ Isn’t that what I said, Mimir?”
“Yes, sir.” Mimir nodded, but YN felt his hand tense against her shoulder. Odin nodded and scowled at Heimdall and Thor, shaking his head with a sigh.
“But I suppose I was wrong to trust them with such a simple task.” YN was caught off guard as she felt Odin’s hand rest on her head.
“Are you alright, child?” YN looked up at him and nodded meekly. He smiled and pushed the girl over towards the two still bowing in the dirt. “Get up.” They stood quickly. Thor looked his father in the eyes, while Heimdall struggled to do the same, his hands squeezed tight at his sides. Odin nudged the girl forward. “I’d like all three of you to apologize to each other.”
At this, the girl immediately bowed, apologizing for letting things get out of hand. Now that her anger had subsided all she felt was anxiety at the tension in the air. YN wanted nothing more than to apologize and hopefully get along with everyone. She turned to Thor and looked up with big round eyes.
“ I apologize, Lord Thor, for not paying better attention to your encouragement and advice, and instead letting my nerves take over. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to teach me.” Thor let out a harumph, looking away. But then sighed and lowered his head in a passive bow.
“Yeah… sorry I didn’t keep a better eye on you both.” Odin scoffed, not satisfied but knowing that was the best he’d get out of Thor. He looked down at Heimdall expectantly, who just seemed to be frozen in place. Yn stuck out her hand as a peace offering.
“I’m deeply sorry, Lord Heimdall. I hope I didn’t hurt you too badly.” Heimdall tsked at the statement and didn’t move. YN looked him in the eyes and he heard her thoughts.
‘I know you can hear me. Shake my hand, and play along. Unless you want to get in more trouble.’ He clicked his tongue in annoyance but with the nudge of her thought and the searing eyes of his father, he grabbed her hand and shook it.
“No my…lady…” he strained with a smile, his brow twitching “The fault is mine for thinking you could withstand a fight with me. I must remember that you are a woman, and therefore, weak and delicate. Like a baby bird,” She smiled back, squeezing his hand so tight that the tip of her fingers turned white.
‘I’ll show you delicate, you little weasel.’She thought, her brow twitching as she pried her hands away and noticed him flex his hand subtly at his side to subside the aching of her anaconda squeeze.
“There, see? All better now! Mimir, take our guest to the infirmary will you?” Mimir nodded, guiding YN away. When they were out of earshot, Odin’s smile disappeared and he looked at his sons expectantly.
“What have you learned?”
“She is reactive in her fighting.” Thor started his report, “ only attacking after her opponent makes a move. Otherwise, she’s a bit of a chicken shit. Kept running away from Heimdall until the only choice was to fight back.”
“Hn…” Odin looked down at the younger boy. “So she was trying to run away and you still ended up like this? Honestly, Heimdall.”
“B-but father-“
“ I don’t want to hear it.” Heimdall shut his mouth stiffly. Odin repeated his original question, directing all his attention to Heimdall. The boy swallowed thickly and remembered her thoughts and the way they rushed one after the other.
“She…she’s a goddess, and she’s from Vanaheim. She wanted to avoid fighting me, kept trying to find a way to introduce herself, and thought being polite would stop me from hurting her. She kept trying to calm herself down, so I provoked her to see where she would go from there. She’s hotheaded and immature. I don’t think she can be trusted. You should just send her back.” Heimdall fidgeted as he spoke and Odin lost his patience, grabbing the boy’s chin roughly to look up at him.
“Unfortunately that’s not in the cards just yet, son. She’s a child, and a goddess, therefore powerful and unpredictable. We need to keep an eye on how she grows and see if we can use her for the betterment of Asgard before one of our enemies finds her and uses her against us. You understand, don’t you?” Odin squeezed Heimdall’s chin as he posed the question. Heimdall whimpered slightly at the pain of Odin’s bony fingers digging into his skin and just barely was able to nod. Odin abruptly released his son, smiling brightly. “Good. So then, anything that we can use to get her to trust us? Get her to work with us?” Heimdall nodded again, reaching up to rub his sore chin.
“She’s very lonely and pathetic…, which you can use to gain her trust, All-Father. She seems passive in her solutions but she is also quick to anger and frustration so it would be important to keep that in mind during any negotiations…”
Odin looked down at his son, taking in the information. He hummed in satisfaction and nodded.
“ alright. Good. I can work with that.” With that, Odin turned to walk away, paused, and spared Heimdall a glance over his shoulder. “Clean yourself up. You’re filthy.”
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“What’s his problem, anyway? Is everyone in Asgard as… volatile?” YN asked as Mimir prepared an ice pack for her. He snorted and shook his head.
“Heimdall is a special cocktail of issues, lass. Best to keep away from him. He’s a spoiled little prince, and I’m afraid the way he’s going it will only get worse.” He walked over to her with a white cloth. He dipped it in a bowl of warm water, rang it out, and pressed it to the girl’s swollen eye. She hissed, pulling away slightly, but Mimir kept her head gently in place, blotting the wound. “Stay still, I know it stings but I need to get all the dirt and blood off.” YN stayed tense but allowed Mimir to clean the wound. There was silence in the room, save for the slow trickle of water from the towel being run out every once in a while. YN interrupted the quiet.
“Are you allowed to say that about the princes?” She asked meekly, looking up at Mimir with her good eye. He raised a brow, dipping the cloth in the water again and going back to cleaning.
“Are you going to rat me out?” He posed, grabbing the ice he had prepared and holding it up to her face. YN shook her head slightly and smiled as Mimir simply shrugged, “Then I have nothing to worry about. Besides, my loyalties lie with the All-Father, not his band of brats. Like I said, best to just keep away.” YN thought for a moment and shook her head, holding the ice to her face as Mimir walked away to grab some medicine for the cuts on her face.
“That doesn’t seem right. Why should they be able to do whatever they want at the expense of others? Because they’re royalty? They should be held to even higher standards considering the power they have.”
“What we think is right and what will end up happening are two different things. Best to forget the whole thing to save yourself the disappointment.”
“And who taught you that? Was it the All-Father?” Mimir stilled, seeming to be in deep thought. YN pouted, guilty at the tension she had caused.“ I-I’m sorry.” Mimir shook his head, a smile returning to his face.
“It’s alright. It’s just… you’re quite forward for a young goddess in a new place.” YN frowned at that. She wasn’t really sure how she was supposed to be acting. She had spent so long working off instinct, that it may have made her a bit blunt in her words and actions. Mimir let the silence hang as she fidgeted with her ice pack before deciding to elaborate.
“… I’m not from here… Asgard, I mean. Hel, I’m not even from the 9 realms.” He looked back at YN and chuckled as she straightened her posture, her interest peaked. “ I’m a Fae, a Goodfellow. I used to be a fool to a Celtic faerie king.” He got a faraway look in his eye, as he slowed the grinding of herbs. She swung her feet as she waited for him to continue, tilting her head in curiosity. “What’s a Fae? What’s Celtic?” Mimir snorted at this, shaking his head.
“That’s too long a story. The point is that I’m an outsider, like you. And I wasn’t happy where I was so I left… things may seem rough here, but they are better than they were. That’s what I hold onto. This is all new to you, and new is strange. The All-Father told me a bit about your background. Going from complete isolation to being surrounded by people and sparing lessons is a lot, and I apologize for your rushed introduction to Asgard thus far.”
Yn nodded, thinking about her own home. There was nothing for her there, really. And though Heimdall and Thor were less than pleasant and Odin had not yet shown he could be fully trusted, there were already things YN felt would be hard to let go of. The food she was able to eat here, the feeling of a warm bed and a crackling fire, the sound of people moving to and fro in the morning. The sound of people living around her, unbothered.
“ Odin called you Mimir…that means wise one doesn’t it?”
“ yes. I am Mimir, the smartest man alive.” He said proudly. He saw as the girl raised her brow in confusion and chuckled, “I am the ambassador of the gods and the nine realms, I know every corner of the realms, everything that has happened, every language spoken, every moment in time past now.” YN’s eyes widened in awe, to meet someone who claimed to know so much of the world after she had been isolated from it for so long, it made her mind soar. YN pulled the ice from her eye and balled her hands together in anxious excitement.
“ Would you… Would you be able to teach me? Please?!” She pleaded, nearly shaking with excitement. Mimir pretended to think about it, stroking his beard.
“ Oh? I dunno, it’s a lot of information I’d be throwing at you. Could be a bit boring.”
“Yes, that’s what I want! I want to learn about the realms, I want to help build connections, That’s what Odin said I’d be able to do here! Will you please teach me, Mimir?”
The truth was, he was tasked with keeping an eye on the girl and taking her under his wing. Odin wanted him to teach her about the relations of Asgard to the rest of the realms and see if she could aid in Mimir and Tyr’s growth of Agard’s connections. He looked back down at the girl, guilt buried at the back of his mind. She was only here to be used. But then, weren’t they all in some way?
“I suppose I could use an apprentice. But don’t whine when you feel you're being thrown over the deep end.”
“Yes!” she cheered, hopping off the table. She bowed deeply, before looking back up at the man with a hopeful smile. “Thank you, Mr. Mimir. I hope that your teachings allow me to be more useful, so that I may continue to stay here. Maybe my first day was hard, but I’m sure I can find my place here.” She beamed, the pain of her wounds already subsiding thanks to godlike healing and the creams that had been applied. She runs to the exit, hoping to find Mal. She wanted to tell her about her fight with Heimdall and tease her for being too scared to stay and watch.
“Oi, wait, your eye! I need to put this on it!”
“I’ll be fine! I have to go! Thank you again, Mimir!” she gathered her things, a new skip in her step.
“Ah ah ah, at least take it with you.” He grabbed her by the shoulder, handing her a metal tin with the cream he had made with the crushed herbs and some bandages. “The great hall! Tomorrow at 6 am. Do not be late!” he barely got it out before she left, the heavy door slamming behind her.
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The sun had set in Asgard and YN was on her way back to her room from supper with Mal, who had apologized for leaving in a hurry and gave her an extra serving of potatoes as a sorry.
YN yawned with a stretch. The swelling in her eye had gone down, but the bruising was now a deep yellow and purple. Mimir had also found out she had two broken ribs, but with the ointment and bandages he had applied, the girl felt fine and knew they would be fine by morning.
YN was about to retire for the night, walking to her door, when she heard a loud hiss come from across the hall. She quirked a brow at the sound and turned. Dim candlelight flickered from under the door and YN walked over at the subtle sound of a pained groan.
“Hello? Are you ok in there?” She asked with a knock. There was silence for a beat, and she knocked again, “Hello?” The person on the other side clicked their tongue in annoyance and YN could hear the loud screech of a chair dragging across the wooden floor. The door swung open and YN was met face-to-face with Heimdall, scowling with a blood-stained handkerchief over his nose. She tilted her head in confusion.
“What the Hel do you want?” he grumbled, but his voice was slightly nasily because of his broken nose. YN had started to regret ever knocking but quirked a brow and pointed at his handkerchief.
“You’re still bleeding.”
“No! Really?” Heimdall gasped in fain surprise.
“ I didn’t know we lived across the hall from each other.” She spoke again, ignoring his rudeness. Heimdall rolled his eyes and went to slam the door in her face.
“Seriously, just get out.” She held her hand up to stop the door from fully closing. “What the- hey! I said, "Get out!”
“Why didn’t you go to the infirmary?”
“Tsk! Are you serious? I’m not a baby, I don’t need bandages and a cookie for staying still.” YN just rolled her good eye at the statement, pushing further against the door. “Hey!”
“You know we heal too fast for you to leave that alone. Your cartilage is going to grow back crooked.” Heimdall’s eyes widened at that, but he frowned as he looked away.
“That’s not true. You're lying.”
“Why would I lie about your nose growing back crooked?” YN watched him fidget in place. It didn’t take a genius to know that he cared about his vanity. The bright white shirts with gold trim and intricate braids in his hair when she first saw him were enough of a hint. And despite everything, she still wanted to make peace, if not to become friends then to at least have to worry less about being tackled at a moment's notice. Heimdall groaned in defeat, knowing she was right.
“ Alright, fine then. What do you suggest I do, pestering raven?” YN sighed at yet another insulting name and crossed her arms.
“ May I come in?” She asked, annoyance obvious in her voice. Heimdall frowned but opened his door wider. Yn walked in and noticed the room was nearly the same as hers, save for a vanity in the corner of the room with the chair pushed back. She grabbed the back of it, dragged it over to the bed, and sat down, turning to Heimdall and patting the spot on the bed across from her. He shut the door and trudged over, sitting across so that their knees touched.
“Can you move the handkerchief?” Heimdall hesitated but slowly did so, his face showing discomfort as he removed pressure. His nose had in fact already started to bend slightly and YN couldn’t help the concerned hiss she let out. “ I really am sorry…”
“ Whatever. Just fix it.” His bright eyes glared through her.
“ I’ll have to break it again.”
“Like hel you will!”
“OK, if you don’t mind a deep bend at your bridge.”
“… fine.”
“What was that?”
“ I said fine already!”
She just nodded with a smirk, touching at the soft cartilage, and pressing it into place. Heimdall winced and tensed at each prod, his hands squeezed tight on his thighs.
“If you keep scrunching your face, this won’t work.”
“Well, it hurts! You're doing it on purpose.”
“ I am not. Do you want a towel to bite down on?”
“ Shut up- ow! Hey!”
“OK, take a deep breath, This one is gonna be the worst but it should open up both nostrils so you can breathe better.”
“H-how do you even know what you're doing is right?”
“ I’ve been alone for a long time. I’ve always had to heal myself. And I’ve fallen on my face many times, my nose looks pretty good if I do say so myself.” She smirked slightly at him as he only gulped. YN grabbed the bridge of his nose and when he braced himself, she twisted her hand sharply, effectively knocking a piece of cartilage that had grown crooked out of place. Heimdall screamed as blood rushed out his nose. He brought the handkerchief back up to his face.
“Are you crazy?!”
“If I didn’t do that, your nose would have looked like a tree branch. Keep pressure on that for a moment.”She pulled the small tin from her pocket. “Look, Mimir gave me this to apply to my eye and ribs before going to bed. It will help with the pain.” She grabbed some bandages that were tucked in her pocket and ripped them into two strips, rolled them up into tight coils, and dipped the ends into the concoction. “Take that off, please. The bleeding should have stopped, and this will stop the soreness.” YN had started to think the boy’s brows were permanently knitted together in annoyance by this point as he moved the kerchief from his face. YN quickly pushed the wads of bandage up his nose to keep the cartilage from collapsing and to promote healing in the correct direction. That being said, he looked ridiculous and she couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out of her mouth. His face went red and he pushed her chair away from him with his boot.
“ Alright, you’re done, right? Get out.” he hopped off the bed, pushing her towards the door.
“W-wait a minute, do you think we could-” she gasped as she was shoved out the door, but twisted and jammed her foot before it could slam. Heimdall let out an exaggerated growl, throwing his head back.
“Gods- now what do you want?” she swallowed thickly and offered a small bow.
“My name is YN, goddess of logic, tactic and peace. I will be staying across the hall from you. I hope we can learn to get along.” She stood back straight and smiled nervously. Heimdall pulled together a sickly sweet grin.
“I am Heimdall, god of foresight, and my time is too precious to be wasted on you. Good night.” And with that, he swung the door wide open before slamming it in the girl's face. YN winced and then sighed in defeat, fidgeting with her hands.
“Good night…” she called softly back through the door. At no response, she turned toward her room to retire for the night. Maybe the next day would be better.
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I am Kind not Complacent Chpt 5
Hello! Here is Chpt 5! warnings: some mention of overstimulation and comfort through panic attack.
Chpt 5: 3K
{Prev}-{next}
Heimdall x fem!reader (they're both kids rn)
multi chapter
hope you enjoy it! and thank you to @engardeitsme as usualllll love you buddy, thank you for your support!
thank you to @lunaryasha, @nokolla as well for reading!💜💜💜
A/N: also sorry for the typos it's very late lol
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“Is there a single thought going on in your head?”
Heimdall had asked the question at least three times now and the girl was starting to lose her patience, twiddling her thumbs as Heimdall glared at her. The discomfort of letting the boy try to have free range of her mind made her uncomfortable, no matter how many times they had done it now. And his lack of empathy, taking her time, running through her head, only to blame her? He really was a weasel.
“Certainly,” she spoke stiffly, breathing through her nose. “I’m just not focusing on any particular thought. Which is the point of the exercise in case you forgot.” She watched as his eyes squinted and snorted, poking at his furrowed brows.” also, I don’t think you’re supposed to make it this obvious that you are running through people’s heads.” Heimdall’s cheeks flushed in embarrassment as he batted the girl’s hand away.
“I’m working on it, ok?” He muttered, trying to relax his features as he continued to pick through her thoughts. It was a jumbled mess of things, like muttering getting louder and quieter, with just a few words popping out at him. He could tell she was getting frustrated with him, an angry rumbling in the undertow of her musings. Nothing to give him coherent information. It didn’t help that anything he was able to grab onto was interrupted by the thoughts of people all the way on the other side of the lodge. One moment, he could hear Yn’s thoughts start to get louder, and the next it was some trivial rubbish of a maid doing chores, or the fighters sparing outside, horses in the stable, or his damn brother, Thor, snoring. Heimdall growled and threw his head back, rubbing his temples with his palms.
“It’s still too loud!” the girl sighed at this, pulling a leg up to her chest while the other dangled over her chair.
“We’ve already moved three times, Weasel. I think this is as quiet as it’s going to get for us.”
“I know, which is why I feel even more pissed off!” he bolted from his seat, pacing around the room. “We’ve been at this for weeks and all I can hear is gibberish and your surface-level musings! It’s ridiculous. Do you have ‘any’ thoughts in that walnut you call a brain?!” the girl frowned, turning her head away. In the thoughts that thrummed threw her into Heimdall's ears he only heard: ‘...I…..Heimdall……idiot….’
“Excuse me?” he frowned, turning to her. She looked at him confused.
“What?”
“All I heard was my name and the word idiot!” the girl raised a brow, knowing she had more to her thought. She was tired of being treated like an idiot. Still, she decided to smirk and held her hands up in defeat.
“Well look at that, it seems I do have some thoughts in this walnut.” she snorted as the boy crossed his arms, trying to hear more insults.
“Also, I don't know if it’s occurred to you,” she leaned back in her chair, “ but I’m not enjoying you clumsily poking around my head either for weeks on end. So forgive me for trying to keep some things private.”
They indeed had been meeting for weeks now, after supper in Heimdall’s room. Only to migrate through different parts of the lodge when it got too loud for him to concentrate. The first few lessons had gone well, but the two thought this was merely due to Yn concentrating on a single thought for Heimdall to listen to. This obviously would not be the case when he had to find out information from people against their will, so the girl suggested they move on to Heimdall trying to read her free-roaming thoughts. This proved to be much more difficult and only seemed to get worse the more he strained to listen, instead being overflowed with noises and thoughts far from where they were. The girl also didn’t enjoy the next level of mind reading, flushing when Heimdall would point out thoughts she didn’t even know she had. It was all very invasive.
“We are getting nowhere,” Heimdall growled under his breath, flopping back into his chair across from the girl. He sighed and looked up at her, arms crossed. “Why is it that I can hear you perfectly fine sometimes and the next, there is nothing but mumbling?” the girl relaxed her shoulders, sensing the boy’s frustration.
“Well,” she started, her hands folding over her raised leg, “I want to try to hide things in those moments. I don’t like having you up here,” she pointed to the space between her brows, “but if I focus on what I want you to hear, you seem to have an easier time with it.” Heimdall sighed, rubbing his face in frustration.
“I need to be able to look at everything no matter if you want it hidden or not.” The girl frowned, not liking the idea of the boy with that kind of power. She sighed, however, remembering their agreement.
“Do you think you may be siking yourself out?” he just looked at her, a confused pull at his brows. She continued, standing up to pace as she spoke, “What I mean is, when it’s based on instinct like the first time we fought, or when you could hear me on the wall…it was like a survival instinct. You knew automatically what to do.”
“I guess,” he frowned, crossing his arms, “but it’s not completely quiet, it’s just a mess. Like thousands of people talking over each other. And I can’t tell what’s your thoughts, other’s thoughts, or outside actions. But when I concentrate I get closer to honing in on just your sounds.” the girl nodded in agreement, a hand on her chin as she stopped in front of the window, the afternoon breeze flowing through and the sunset light shining over the horizon, covered by the wall. She hummed as she got an idea, and because it was louder than the rest, Heimdall could catch wind of some of it. “What about the wall?” He asked, looking at her over the back of his chair. She smiled and turned to him, and his face fell as he heard the rest of the plan racing through his head.
“Oh, no. No no no. we are not going back out there. The All-Father is already suspicious.”
“We’ll go in the dead of night!” she said with an excited smile, getting closer to him.
“You’re crazy!”
“Does anything come out of your mouth except insults?” she huffed, hands on her hips.
“ For you?” he asked with a sarcastic smirk, “Never.” she ignored the boy, grabbing her things.
“It’ll be an experiment.”
“I’m not an experiment.”
“Are you sure about that?”
He huffed. Though he couldn’t hear what she was thinking, he could tell her thoughts were running a mile a minute. And he didn’t like her tone.
“I’m not going.” he stood firm, and though he didn’t show it on his face, Yn had started to be able to tell when he was growing anxious. And right now, he stunk of nerves. The girl sighed, slowing her movements, and faced Heimdall.
“Fine then. We don’t have to go,” she reassured him and felt the tension ease slightly. She smiled, “We’ll stop for today.”
He hated her ability to ease him. And that no matter how much he tried to control his emotions, he couldn’t resist the calm she gave him. He knew it was from her powers, and it terrified him. He should not be able to be so easily influenced. He reasoned to himself, that he was building a tolerance to her powers, and soon it wouldn’t work on him. She was just a stepping stone. That’s all this was.
With a wave of her hand, she was out of the room, spouting about how he could knock when he couldn’t sleep before shutting the door. Like he would ever in a million years, go crawling-
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There Heimdall stood. Ridged in front of Yn’s door. Cold sweat beaded at his temple, and he held in sobs, biting his lip till it threatened to bleed. His hands gripped at the bottom of his shirt and he trembled in front of the girl’s door. He hated it. Hated waking up to the sound of phantoms in his head, endless mumblings rattling through his mind like an echoing hall. He hated not being able to quiet them, the power they had over him. He hated the fear that seeped into his bones from the sounds in his head, and the consequences of being caught for being unable to deal with them on his own.
But most of all, he hated that what he had found was finally able to quiet his mind was snoring softly on the other side of the door in front of him, without a care in the world. That he was supposed to be learning information on this girl, and nothing more. He was the god of foresight. A gift bestowed on him. And he was using this girl, a stranger, a possible enemy, to calm himself. And she let him. It all made his stomach twist in ways he didn’t know were possible.
Still, despite how he wanted to run back to his room. Simply will the sounds to stop. To be able to understand the girl’s intentions and report them to the All-Father so she could finally be out of his hair. Despite all of it:
There he stood, trembling, willing his voice to whimper just a bit quieter. She left the door unlocked. She had started doing so so he wouldn’t have to knock and make extra noise. Her kindness frustrated him. He had never experienced anything like it before. He thought it must have meant she wanted something from him, and he would die before he gave it to her.
Heimdall’s fist wrapped around the door handle, and he swallowed as he twisted, pushing the door open. Yn stirred, waking to the sound of her door opening. She rubbed her eyes and watched as the boy slowly walked in, shutting the door as quietly as possible behind him before collapsing to the floor, letting his sobs rasp out of him, biting his arm to stay quiet. Without a second thought, Yn’s voice filled the room with soft music, and she quickly got out of bed, her little feet padding over with a blanket in tow, falling to her knees in front of him and pulling his head to rest against hers.
He hated how his chest already felt lighter. How warm she felt against his cold sweaty head. How she paid no mind to his heaving and trembling, ignoring what he knew she thought was a pathetic display. No matter how many times she would reassure him, he told himself he knew she looked down on him. It felt disgusting. And over everything else, he hated that she made him feel at peace.
They stayed like that, a crumpled mess on the floor, as Yn’s voice thrummed through Heimdall’s chest and calmed his heartbeat, quieted his sobs, and ceased his trembling. Her hands rested on his shoulders, and when she felt them start to still, she pulled away, the song still chiming from her mind into his. She took the boy's hands, easing him to stand, and brought him to her bed.
“Here, sit down, okay?” She sat on the bed, her back against the wall, and pulled him to the spot next to her. He was too weak to protest, leaning his head back against the wall once he was sat, and just took in the song and silence. No matter how many times he came to the girl’s room, the relief he felt was still overwhelming in its own way. They stayed like that for a while, just like they do every night he came to her room. Sometimes she would read, her voice soothing him back to sleep. Sometimes she talked about what she learned with Mimir, not expecting any answer as Heimdall let her silly little thoughts be the only mumbling he could hear. But for some reason, tonight, as she spoke just above a whisper for him, trailing off about her home and how she would crawl up into the trees to sleep there when she had a nightmare, he responded.
“Why did you crawl into the trees?” He asked, his voice raspy for strangling down his tears. He felt Yn stiffen for a moment, then shift to look at him. He didn’t look back, leaving her to sit in his question for a moment before she smiled, looking away from him again.
“Because I was afraid of getting eaten. Do you know what a drekki is?” Heimdall barely nodded, peering to look at her.
“Big lizard… lots of teeth…”
“Well,” she started, “I had this nightmare all the time, of a drekki swallowing me up while I slept, and staying alive in its belly.”
“That’s disgusting” Heimdall’s nose crinkled, feeling a shiver go down his spine. The girl giggled and nodded in agreement.
“I know. So I would sleep in the trees and tell myself an aching back was better than living in a drekki. Even here, I still get nightmares sometimes, and I want to sleep on the roof!” she smiled sheepishly, and Heimdall felt a small lopsided smirk pull at the side of his cheek despite his best efforts. Perhaps worst of all, he found himself caring less and less. Letting himself continue to ask questions, and even started to answer some of hers.
“Why do you not tell anyone about this?” She spoke softly, turning to look at him.
“Because I’m a god,” He didn’t hesitate at the question, answering as though it were simply a fact of life. “I am the Scion of the Aesir, given the gift of foresight by the All-Father.” a look of pride shined in his pink eyes, but it soon left as he looked at the clock ticking on Yn’s bedside table. “... If I cannot handle this gift,... I am unworthy. I am a failure.” he turned to look at the girl desperately. “ no one can know. You especially. You make me weak.”
“Resting is not weakness.” Heimdall frowned, shaking his head at her.
“I’m meant to be a soldier.”
“You’re a kid, Heimdall. We both are.”
He snorted, turning away from her.
“You don’t get it.” he mumbled, “you don’t have a home to protect, or a family to make proud.”
There was silence, the music had stopped, and Heimdall heard the rising speed and weight of the girl’s heart pounding against her ribs. He turned to her again, seeing her face contort, her breathing got uneven and she curled a bit into herself. Despite this, however, she turned at Heimdall, a sad smile tugging at her cheeks.
“That was pretty messed up, Weasel.” her voice cracked slightly, and she turned to look away, stifling a sniffle and whipping a tear from under her eye. Heimdall felt an ache twist in his chest. He felt guilty, without her powers to influence her.
“I’m sorry,” he spoke without thinking. She scoffed.
“No, it’s fine. But so were are both clear, I did have a home, and a family” Her voice grew cold and it made the boy want to shiver like she breathed ice in his face. “I watched it all burn to the ground.” her voice didn’t waver, but her hands shook. “And then I picked up the pieces and made myself something I could live with. Now I’m here. Away from everything I know and no one in Vanaheim will even mourn me. Because everyone who knew me is dead.” her voice rattled like dice at the end, and she stifled a sob, turning away from him.
“ I didn’t-” his voice was faster than his thoughts, “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I was just-” he tripped over his tongue, “ I didn’t mean to hurt you, I am sorry.” his own voice was weak and he was unsure why, “ I just-” he breathed out, “I hate it.”
She turned to look at him, tears silently trickling down her face. It was only fair he comforted her in return. That’s what he told himself as he dabbed them away with his sleeve.
“You hate what?” she asked in a cracked whisper, not pulling away from him. He swallowed before admitting for the first time both aloud and to himself:
“I hate the weight of it…I wish I was alone…I wish,” his voice trailed off. And though he didn’t finish his thought, Yn somehow knew what he meant, and sighed, sniffling quietly. He swallowed, looking down at his knees, “I didn’t know that’s what happened…”
“ No, you don’t…” she mumbled, shaking her head. “ because being alone for years is not worth the peace of solitude. I promise it’s not.” she glared at him weakly, “and maybe you should have read a little deeper before trying to use my past as ammunition.” Heimdall frowned, placing a careful hand on the girl’s shoulder.
“I really am sorry…” He spoke, fully aware of his words this time. Yn sniffled and looked at him for a moment before she smiled, weakly.
“I’ll think about accepting it. You sound honest enough.” she teased and he couldn’t stop his smile. “Hey,” she nudged him, “you’re being nice. Without me.” she shrugged, “Sort of.” he chuckled slightly and nodded.
“ I guess I want to be a little bit nicer to you…” he shrugged back, “sort of.”
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I am kind not complacent Chpt 3
Howdy, here is Chpt 3
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sorry it's a bit shorter than usual but I promise the next one will be longer. I have been very sleepy all the time. As always, thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged. I truly appreciate you all.
thank you so much to @engardeitsme, @lunaryasha, @nokolla💜💜💜
Chpt 3: 3.8 k words
Heimdall x fem reader
Multi chapter
A/N: im going to take a moment to add chapter summaries and make a master list
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It had been a few weeks now since YN had been brought to Asgard, and though her first day was less than ideal, she had found her place close to Mal and in her teachings with Mimir, while staying far from Heimdall and Thor. Since the instance on the first morning of her arrival, Odin had been especially wary of when the girl interacted with other people, going as far as suggesting Mimir put wax in his ears to be able to hesitate any “suggestions” she may make. Mimir however felt no need, as he had built a strong rapport with YN and the two had started to grow fond of each other. After all, she was eager to learn, excited that Mimir did not shy away from any and all details and facts. The man in return was thankful for someone who was grateful to listen to every part of what he had to say, for once.
This morning had started like they had for weeks now. YN had now learned to wake before the rest of the lodge. From there, Mal and she went into the kitchen as the sun barely peeked over the horizon while the cooks and bakers were still making breakfast. They would help with prep in return for cakes fresh out of the oven and porridge hot off the stove. Then Mal would bring YN to her balcony to drink tea and eat at their leisure as the sun rose and they got to hear the chaos downstairs they had narrowly dodged.
YN blew on a spoon of steaming porridge and hummed as she ate, the heat warming her cheeks and the steam escaping her mouth as she shook her head.
“ Hah- it’s hoth-“ she gasped as she forced herself to swallow, her eyes squinted shut in pain. Mal sat across from her, peering at the girl from the corner of her eye, and smirked into her tea cup.
“ You need to be more patient. You do this every morning.” YN smiled sheepishly before taking another bite.
“ Hah-, I can’t help it, I think it tastes better this way. I don’t want it to get cold.”
“ You’re burning yourself.”
“It’s okay, I like it when it’s hot like this… it feels hot all the way down my stomach and warms me up for the whole day.” Mal chuckled, shaking her head.
“ You must have blisters in your mouth. Must be nice having godly healing.”
“ Do you not, Mal? Heal like me?
“ Me? No dear, I'm just a mortal.”
“ Oh,” YN halted slightly at this, her spoon sinking slowly into her porridge as she peaked at Mal through her lashes. Mimir said the mortals didn’t live very long compared to them, and YN remembered thinking it a pity. She didn’t know there were mortals in Asgard, and she never thought to ask the people around her if they were mortal. Mal watched as YN had stopped eating, and fidgeted in her spot, guilty of her ignorance. Mal simply smiled.
“ Honestly, what’s that pout for?” she tutted, setting her cup down and crossing her arms as she leaned back lazily in her chair to look at the horizon. YN looked up at her, watching as the sunlight twinkled in her eyes framed by crow’s feet, how wrinkles curved around her small smile, and the grey hairs peeking through the top of her bandana. YN thought from the moment she saw her, that she wanted to look like Mal when she grew old. But that would be centuries from now, and Mal would be long gone… The thought made YN droop even further.
“Oi!” YN shot her head up at Mal’s exclamation. The woman now glared down at her, leaning across the table, grabbing a piece of bread. “Now, don’t you pity me. There is no shame in the span of my life.” She sighed, grabbing the jam, “Honestly sometimes I don’t know how the gods do it. I’m so tired already.” She took a bite and looked back at YN, just making a pathetic little sound, obviously, still overthinking. Mal reached over and tiled her chin up, her face firm and unwavering. “Don’t you worry, I’m a tough old bird, you won’t be getting rid of me any time soon. My job as your lady-in-waiting is to make sure you’re taken care of. Understood?” Mal smiled, pinching YN’s chin a bit tighter. YN giggled at the extra pressure, shaking her head free.
“Ok, I understand.”
“Good. Now hurry and eat. You’re lesson in twenty minutes.”
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“Alright, Lass: pop quiz”
“What’s a quiz?”
“That’s not important: first question: who are the Jotnar?”
“Oh! I know! They’re the most ancient beings thought to be the first to emerge from Ginnungagap. They um- they’re skilled in physical and mystical powers. Not all jotnar are large in size and can vary from frost and fire giants to different forms of animals. An example of this are Skoll and Hati who reside in Vanaheim!” YN started to ramble excitedly about Jotnar culture and how she had watched them from afar when they walked around Vanaheim. How she saw one move a mountain range once and how she was mesmerized to watch the wolves change night into day. Mimir held a hand up to stop her, chuckling slightly.
“Alright, alright! Maybe that one was a bit too easy.” he grabbed at the scruff of his beard, humming in thought. “Let’s move on to Asgard’s history and politics.” YN’s face dropped and she groaned, dramatically throwing her head back.
“I’m no good at politics, Mimir.”
“Which is precisely why we need to work on it. You are an honorary Asgardian now, and it’s important you know the roles of the royal family as well as your own role in relation to the nine realms. Now start with the easy ones.” YN sighed but straightened in her seat, starting at the top.
“Asgard is the realm we are in now, it is ruled by Odin and his family. Until fairly recently, Asgard has been at war with the other realms, notably Jotenheim and Vanaheim. You, Mimir, have aided in the creation of peace between these realms by building a rapport with the giants and suggesting the wedding between the All-Father and…” YN sighed, her shoulders drooping, “Freya, the former leader of Vanir, now the queen of the Valkeries.” Mimir nodded, urging her to continue.
“Odin is the All-Father, ruler of Asgard. He is the god of the sky, of wisdom, healing, um…poetry?” she faltered but nodded in relief as Mimir silently agreed with a nod. She continued, “And the god of divination. He built Vallhalla to reward Asgardians who have gone through a warrior’s death and grant them new life as Einjar. He…He’s a mystery to me, Mimir…”
“What do you mean, Lass?”
“I mean… I feel like I should want to be indebted to him… That I should trust him and want to serve him… but I feel this pit in my stomach…I don’t know, maybe I’m just still anxious about being here…” Mimir wanted to comfort the girl. Tell her what she was feeling was her mystical logic at work, giving her intuition. But that would mean admitting to himself that Odin was not the most trustworthy, and that just wasn’t smart. Mimir cleared his throat, getting the girl’s attention.
“It’s alright, Lass. you’ve been doing well here. The All-Father will find a place for you here and you will see there’s nothing to be worried about. Now let’s continue.” YN sighed then nodded, giving a short summary of Freya, Odin’s wife who hails from Vanaheim as she does. How the Vanir were a formidable foe and that Freya herself was a powerful warrior. The queen of the Valkeries was of great interest to YN, and she wanted to meet her soon and ask about their home. Maybe she could even ask to learn about Vanir Magix and fighting. She told Mimir she remembered meeting her just once in Vanaheim, and that she had brought her food when she was injured, but they never saw each other again. Despite this, YN saw her as the ruler of the Vanir, and when she left, the realm was heartbroken.
YN then went on to the sons of Odin. Thor, god of the thunder, and his job as the enforcer of the Asir. He was Odin’s right hand and trained to be a machine on the field. He was physically the strongest and tasked with training his brothers as a result. Since they met, Thor made it clear he was not a fan of the girl, making sure to let her know whether it be by pushing her out of the way in the halls or making fun of her during her sparring with Heimdall and Baldur. Next was Tyr, the god of war in Asgard. He was strong and tall and despite his title, was a gentle soul from what YN could see. He had made YN feel welcome, unlike his siblings. Mimir introduced the two of them, saying that the three of them would be working together after she’s learned more about her role here. The idea of one day being able to travel outside of Asgard with them made her giddy. Tyr would sometimes entertain her and Mal at supper with stories about his travels.
YN groaned as she spoke on Hiemdall.
“He’s the second youngest. God of foresight, order, foreknowledge, the scion of the Aesir, blessed with enhanced sight and hearing, blah, blah, blah…” YN rolled her eyes as she spoke. Mimir patted the desk she sat on, warning her not to get distracted.
“Don’t get fresh, Lass. I told you it’s not worth it.”
“ I Can’t help it!” she groaned in frustration. YN had been trying her damndest to try and get along with the young god, and everything seemed to blow up in her face. She thought maybe bringing him snacks from the great hall or handing him his weapon when they would spar would make it easier for him to stand her, but he would just take what she offered and leave. “He’s so rude! And-and all he does is judge me and take things!”
“Yes, that’s his job. To judge people.”
“I hate it.” she mumbled, folding her arms on the desk and resting her head in them. Mimir sat down across from her, crossing his own arms.
“Listen, little sister… I know you may not like him, and you don’t have to. But try to put yourself in his shoes for just a moment.
“How do you mean?’ She asked, peaking up from her arms. Mimir simply smiled, knowing by now it didn’t take much for the girl to sympathize with others, and that it may be the best way to encourage some semblance of allyship between the two.
“Well, he’s the god of foresight, but like you, he’s just a child. He can’t control his powers well yet and as the son of the All-Father, you may imagine he carries a great deal of pressure from his family to perform up to their standards. This is the case for all of Odin’s sons.”
“At least Baldur and Tyr are nice…” YN whispered, just loud enough for Mimir to hear.
“That’s true… but between you and me, I believe the boy may suffer from some form of overstimulation from his powers at times, causing some of his..hm… irritability.”
“What makes you say that?” Mimir simply shrugged, standing back up.
“Just pay closer attention to him next time you see him. Hm?”
“Ok, I guess…”
“Good, back on topic then. Tell me about Baldur.” Mimir urged. YN sighed but obliged. Baldur was the god of light and a bit younger than her, but they got along fairly well. He was a bit shy but was kind to YN. He was a good fighter and seemed to be a favorite amongst the Aesir. He was definitely the apple of Freya’s eye at the very least.
After more discussion of Asgard and what YN’s role would be in the future, Mimir ended the lesson, suggesting YN enjoy the beautiful day before her sparring session.
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The day seemed to crawl at a snail's pace. Since the first time they fought, Odin would sit in and watch to make sure nothing “regretable” would happen, in his words. YN noticed when she was against Heimdall today, he was rather sluggish compared to his usual movements, not carrying as much snark in his voice and seeming to focus on her much harder.
“Why are you already thinking about dinner? It’s not even sunset.” YN flushed in embarrassment.
“Stop doing that!” she stomped her foot. Heimdall rolled his eyes and lunged at her, poking her side with the practice sword.
“Hit. reset,” Thor called from the sidelines. The two spaced away from each-other again, waiting for Thor to call out “start” before they continued fighting. It was all so boring, the dodging, the hitting, the resetting to just do the same set of moves over and over.
“You’re telling me…” Heimdall mumbled, dodging an attack without trying. “At least when we were trying to kill each other you were vaguely entertaining. This is just pathetic.” YN clicked her tongue, dodging a half-assed attempt at a hit.
“At least you're still getting something from this, practicing to read my mind. Which I hate, by the way,” she stated, blocking a sword swing to her face, “Have I said that already?”
“A thousand times.” Heimdall sighed, pulling away only to come back and swing three times in succession, pushing YN towards the border of the ring with each hit she blocked, “and trust me, I get nothing from hearing your annoying little voice whining about how hungry and bored you are.” YN clicked her tongue at the statement and knocked Heimdall back, lunging in short quick jabs, moving them back to the center of the ring.
“It’s not my fault. Your father is the one watching us like a hawk, making sure we barely touch each other. We might as well be dancing. He’s such a control freak” Heimdall growled, suddenly moving to grab YN by the collar of her shirt. Despite the threat he posed, she was excited at the idea of actually doing some kind of real fighting. Their dreams were dashed however as Odin called out from the distance.
“Heimdall. Put her down.”
“But father, she insulted you!”
“Now.”
Heimdall growled at the girl before roughly dropping her collar, making her stumble on her feet to not fall into the dirt. She straightened her posture and fixed her shirt as Odin strode up to them. He looked down at the girl, concern on his face.
“You think me controlling, child? I suppose I have been keeping a bit too close an eye. I’m just worried is all.” At the hurt YN seemed to hear at the back of his throat, her stance softened and she offered a small bow.
“No, I apologize All-Father. I thank you for worrying about my well-being. I suppose I’m just getting a bit antsy at this routine I’m still getting used to. After the sun sets, I feel I cannot go outside, so I may be a bit more rambunctious during sparring as a result. And the slow pace is getting to me.” Odin chuckled, shaking his head.
“Is that all? Well, dear, I assure you Asgard is quite safe, if you find you want to wander after the sun sets, you are welcome to go anywhere from the lodge all the way to the wall. You are no prisoner. And you can do whatever you’d like outside your lessons. I encourage you to see how the moonlight changes the scenery tonight.” YN smiled at this, nodding in agreement.
“Thank you, All-Father, I will make sure to do so.” Heimdall seemed to fidget in place, his hands tensing and his mind racing as he listened to the two speak. YN pretended not to notice.
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At supper, YN sat with Mal and Tyr, listening to him talk about his latest journeys and the interesting people he met. YN only half listened as she felt a pair of eyes on her from across the dining hall, turning to meet a magenta gaze and tilted her head in confusion when the boy suddenly looked away. Heimdall seemed to shuffle in his chair, holding his head with one hand as he slowly took small bites of food. His eyes seemed to close tightly every once in a while and his hands tensed in his hair and around his spoon. He turned to Odin, whom he sat next to, and asked something, only to be silenced with a shake of a head. YN could see some form of frustration in Odin’s gaze as he looked down at his younger son trying his best to stay still and ignore whatever it was that was bothering him so much. Heimdall looked up and their eyes met again. She tried to give a smile and wave, but the boy just frowned and looked back down at his food. YN’s hand slowly fell back to her side and with a shrug she turned back to Mal and Tyr, listening to his stories with a smile pulling at her cheeks.
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It was late in the night and most of the lodge was asleep. YN fidgeted in her bed, unable to sleep as the clock at her bedside ticked along with the soft crackle of the fire in her room. Back when she was alone, she was used to sleeping in shifts throughout the day in order to stay alert at night. This also stopped her from sleeping deeply enough to experience her nightmares to their fullest extent.
She had been in Asgard for nearly a month now but still wasn’t used to sleeping throughout the whole night. YN would often wake in the middle of the night, humming to herself as she read a book that Mimir had given her, and wait until she was tired again to sleep more until Mal would come get her in the morning.
She rubbed her eyes with her palms and groaned, sitting up in her bed with a sigh. YN thought of how Odin had said she was able to walk around the grounds at night if she ever wanted to, and hesitated for a second before pulling the covers off of her and swinging her legs over the side of the bed. She pulled a wool sweater over her white sleeping gown and slipped on her leather house slippers. The lodge was dark, with only a few candles lit in the halls to give any semblance of where anything was. YN stepped slowly down the main staircase, the wood creaking with each drop of her foot. She winced as the plank at the bottom screeched and waited for a beat as the floor settled underneath her. YN tiptoed passed the kitchen, then stopped and puttered back to it, slipping in to grab a bag of roasted nuts and dried lingenberries. After all, a midnight snack never hurt during a little stroll.
The cool air fluttered through YN’s hair as she pulled open the exit to to the Great Lodge and she pulled her sweater closer to her chest, sighing at the relieving chill. She opened her little parcel and ate absentmindedly as she walked down the main trail leading from the lodge down to the wall, following the moon as it hung in the center of the sky. YN hummed a soft tune, dragging her fingers along the tall grass and wildflowers that lined the trail, watching as Asgard’s nocturnal creatures scuttled through the prairie. Foxes wandered for prey, and weasels emerged from their burrows. It almost felt like home, the way everything moved and shifted around her, unbothered.
As YN got closer to the wall, walking up the stairs, she hear what sounded like whimpering. The closer she got, the louder it became. From whimpers to sobs, and finally, she could hear whispers.
“Just go away, go away, go away.” the voice whimpered between sobs. YN stuttered her steps, worried but wondering if this person wanted to be left alone or if would be better to help.
“Hello?” she called out softly, “a-are you ok?”
The voice didn’t respond, continuing to sob out into the night and beg for silence, despite it being the only noise out there. YN took a breath before peaking up over the ledge of the wall. There, Heimdall sat, curled into his knees, sobbing with his hands over his ears, rocking in place. His voice hiccuped as he trembled, continuing to beg.
“J-just leave me alone,” he whispered, “I just want it to stop… stop it!” Heimdall paid no attention as YN slowly moved closer, crouching down in front of him and waiting for him to realize she was there. His breath was ragged and his hands shook as his eyes darted from side to side, the picture of fear and paranoia. “It won't go away, it won’t go away, it won’t, it won’t it won’t!” he cried out into the air. YN reached a hand out gently and Heimdall gasped, staring her in the eyes as her fingers brushed over his forehead, covered in a cold sweat. Despite the fact they looked right at each other, Heimdall’s gaze was far off and desperate. He continued to whisper frantically as he shook his head. “Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!” His eyes squeezed tightly shut as he tried to get what he so wanted: silence. YN didn’t know what to do. Fearing that speaking may only make things worse. As Heimdall sobbed, YN pulled herself closer to him, sitting on her knees. She sat in his crying, letting it rake over the both of them as the cool breeze blew. She thought for a moment before slowly, bringing her head to rest against his, their foreheads pressed to each other.
‘I…I don’t know if you can hear me… but if you are feeling overwhelmed by the voices in your head… just focus on mine, ok?’ she focused on these thoughts, letting them take over her mind so that he could hear them and only them. YN swore she could feel him reaching back out to her as his body trembled against hers. ‘It’s ok… just focus on me… just focus on one voice…” he stopped his trembling slowly, but he cried out still, shallow sobs racking through his body. His hands still clamped tightly to his ears and tears trickled down the swell of his cheeks, dribbling down onto the rock beneath them. She sighed softly and brought her hands to rest on his, beginning to hum softly: the song passing both through her lips, and the melody taking over her mind and streaming into his.
They stayed like this. As the crickets rang in the night. As the wind whistled between them and the hollows of the wall. As critters crawled through the brush. And as their breathing started to match, Heimdall’s heart finally started to settle as his sobbing slowed to sniffles and light gasps, until there truly was nothing in his mind but the girl’s soft humming.