How to be more @rogre in 2016
This list — a resistance to the over-waxed presentation of self that social media can bend towards — started with its first three items, which I was going to post to Twitter as a short guide to being more @rogre (since there is such a demand for such a thing ;), but then my family got involved and the list ballooned. I think I have arrived at all of these behaviors ~accidentally.
Wash your white t-shirts in your colors (which are almost all blues, with a few grays too) to give them a blue glow.
Say flavor whenever you should probably say scent. “What flavor deodorant is that?” “I don’t like the flavor of that detergent.”
See a color and recognize it, but unintentionally call it by another name. Regularly mix up the words and colors of purple and orange.
Don’t cut the bananas you are putting on your cereal, break them into pieces by hand.
Change your mind about things all the time. You are so often wrong, so flip-flopping is a corrective measure.
Always forget to take a picture.
There is never enough fruit.
You are not clean until your skin squeaks.
Absentmindedly push your beard to one side until it stays crooked.
Shave your mustache and head no more than once per week.
Avoid ketchup on hot dogs. Be jokingly-but-not-jokingly-but-jokingly intolerant of others who put ketchup on hotdogs.
Park at the back of parking lots in the first place you spot. Enjoy the walk.
Loathe crowds.
Avoid the mall at all costs.
Avoid buying things until you no longer need/want them.
Want to be alone, but not alone. Write about it as “Me gustas cuando callas…”
Have your best thoughts when you are unable to jot them down (in the shower, while driving, etc.); then demand that someone take notes for you.
Frequently recommend to others with confidence books that you have never read, but really want to read some day.
Create overwhelming resource lists after lengthy conversations as a record of that conversation and send them to the poor soul on the other end of the converstion. This looks like ésta, ésa, and aquella.
Simultaneously preach your love for email and feel badly about emails that you haven't responded to.
Don't know the names of most of the musicians and songs that you like.
Obsess over details about text formatting, but then proceed to make a bunch of errors and inconsistencies in everything that you publish.
Develop a reputation for hating baseball. Go with it. Then abandon it, but still find baseball to be very boring.
Develop a reputation for hating cats. Go with it. Then abandon it and come to love cats. But still prefer dogs.
Be overly judgmental about cleanliness.
Have a working-class complex that is possibly self-detrimental.
I’ll probably add to this whenever I think of something else.
