#[anakin] study

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I think it’s so under appreciated how much Anakin admired Padmé and looked up to her while also being madly in love with her. She wasn’t just the woman he loved, she was many things in one. She was also an inspiration for him, and Anakin had the utmost respect, love, adoration, and admiration for her. So I wanted to bring this into light.

Let’s begin.

Starting off in Secrets of The Jedi where Anakin states how he’s proud of Padmé’s reputation that she’s built for herself as a well known and outspoken Senator.

The way he lists of all here in Clone Wars: Wild Space that she had many aspects to her and he absolutely adores and loves all of them. Again his pride for her seeping through in this passage.

If anyone knew better how much difference Padmé makes everyday with her influence and position, it was Anakin. He always believed in her and he knows the Republic needs her.

Anakin hyping his girl, stating the facts that she’s no dolt and he rightfully acknowledges her intelligence and excellence 💯 he knows his wife is a queen.

“you are anything but weak-minded.” 😭

Literally this passage of Brotherhood where Anakin admits he sees Padmé as a guide in his life in her own way. The amount of respect and high regards he must see her in to view her as something so special 🥹 he admires her morality and determination to do her duty, that he feels inspired by it.

Which brings me to my favourite page in “A Jedi’s Journal” where Anakin sketches a picture of a feisty Padmé and writes about how he doesn’t want to look like a failure in her eyes. Her opinion of him matters to most to him.

One of my fave Vader comics (Vader and the lost command) where Vader dreams up an AU where Padmé lives and he defeats Palpatine, and the clear vision of seeing Padmé as becoming the Chancellor because he always saw her as the only person fit to rule over the galaxy. And in this particular page, we see Padmé doubting herself and Anakin reassuring her that she’d never make the wrong decisions, that she was “born for this role”, that there couldn’t be anyone better for the job. A testament to how much faith he has in her and her capabilities even as Vader ♥️

Moving onto the next page from the same comic, we see how Padmé is referred to as the “the galaxy’s true guardian of peace and freedom”, and reminder that this is still Vader’s vision, and that means it’s truly something Anakin/Vader thinks of Padmé (despite that it is in fact true.) as I mentioned, he always sees her in the highest regards.

Vader even dreams of their kid “Jinn” making note of how with Padmé in power, the use of the Jedi will become “obsolete” and Anakin himself replies “we can only hope.” It’s like he sees Padmé as the true hero and not himself, the ‘Chosen One’ and ‘The Hero With No Fear.’ or the Jedi. 🥹

Then it ends with Anakin stepping up to Padmé and tells her how everyone adores her, because that’s exactly the kind of respect and love Padmé deserves, he knows it, and he envisions it so clearly. Cause that’s how things SHOULD be.

Padmé is the reason why Anakin is the man he is, she’s responsible for making him into the hero he’s become and Anakin really said it himself in Clone Wars: Wild Space pretty clearly without hesitation:

“The point is that without you, I’m nothing. Without you, Anakin Skywalker doesn’t exist.”

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Apart from the fact that Padmé had said she knew she’d no longer be allowed to serve in the senate, Anakin saying he wanted to leave the Jedi and be with Padmé, and Padmé outwardly saying that she wanted to raise her and Anakin’s kids on Naboo, and run away with him to the Lake Country (it’s even stated so by Trisha Bigger in Dressing a Galaxy, when asked about what Padmé’s funeral dress was supposed to symbolize):

We do see a bit more implications within the ROTS novel that tell us how Padmé and Anakin were keen on leaving behind duty, to live together peacefully, and raise their kids.

In this scene of the novel, we see that OW is encouraging Padmé to watch over Anakin (as he’s growing more concerned of his mental state) and somewhat asks her to “leave him” because her relationship to him strains his position as a Jedi, and it would be a mistake if he left. Padmé insists that it doesn’t matter, because Anakin is said to be the chosen one, therefore he would remain a Jedi as so the prophecy states. But on the contrary, OW tells her that he’s scanned the prophecy and it’s no where said that the chosen one had to be a Jedi. At this point, the parts I’ve highlighted shows to us how Padmé begins to hope, that she describes as desperate and leaving her breathless. She now knows that Anakin, her husband, doesn’t need to remain in the Order to complete his legacy as the chosen one. Leaving more room for her to hope for the future that she and Anakin so desperately crave together.

Up until now, Padmé didn’t want to take Anakin away from his duty and responsibilities as a Jedi, partly because of the Republic and it’s reliance on him, but mostly because she didn’t want to take away his dream of being a Jedi. Part of this feeling also stems from the prophecy stating that Anakin IS the chosen one. Knowing how Padmé is very prone to justice, and helping the galaxy especially for those in need of saving. It’s not hard to put two and two together that she’d feel guilt for making Anakin choose her over fulfilling his mission as the chosen one. (Even though to Anakin, there was never a choice. He would inevitably always choose Padmé.) This passage alone gives her the hope and confirmation she’s always desperately wanted that Anakin didn’t have to remain a Jedi to be the chosen one. So she feels a sense of relief knowing she can still have him, run away with him, and at the same time, not take him away from the grand destiny he was always meant for.

In this passage^^ Anakin also mentions that he and Padmé have talked about what would happen now that she was pregnant, and he says that they’ve decided that they would remain in their respective positions for as long as they could until the secret was no longer concealable. Another implication of how they HAVE talked about leaving their duties behind in favour of running away together. The result was made from the circumstances Anakin was in of course. He wanted to stay in the Order longer to find a way to save Padmé. Padmé only wanted to keep it a secret to protect Anakin, so that he could stay in the Order. (No mention of herself or her duty.)

Padmé had already gone through the consequences her pregnancy would lead too, and she didn’t care for them. She says she’d be “relieved” of her senatorial duties, and she made her peace with it. She was ready to move on and begin her life with Anakin. She was only worried for what everything would mean for Anakin. She was worried what it would do for him, and he, of course, decided that he didn’t care either. He also just wanted to run away with his wife and be together as one big family.

In Padmé’s words:

“Come away with me, leave everything else behind while we still can.”

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Definitely the wrong interpretation of Padmé’s character to say that she wouldn’t have stayed with Anakin had she lived. Of course, in the context that he remains Vader, it’s obvious she wouldn’t stay by his side then, she’d be actively against him. But a redeemed Vader, that’s once again Anakin Skywalker? There’s no doubt that her undying love for him overpowers all. He’d have a looooot to make up for, but Padmé is the kind of person who’d be on that journey alongside him. Padmé said it herself that they’d always be “one” no matter what happened. She was always ready and willing to forgive him no matter what he did, or where he went. She was always going to his, just as much as he was always hers.

And we see this very clearly even after what’s happened on Mustafar, and after Padmé found out that everything she heard was the truth. But there’s a reason why she still had unwavering faith in Anakin. She knew he still had goodness in him, and she wanted him back. She didn’t fight tooth and nail on Mustafar to bring him back to her, begging him to stop and tell him that she loves him, only to leave him in the end. She wanted him back more than anything. Why? Because she wanted to be with him. To run away to the lakes on Naboo, where she can live out her days with him and their kid(s).

❉ ❉ ❉

“The most powerful, the most repressed thought of all could have emerged from the darkness: Padmé … and her undying love for someone he once knew well. And despite all the terrible, unspeakable things he’d done in his life, he suddenly realized he could not stand by and allow the Emperor to kill their son. And in that moment, he was no longer Darth Vader.”

[Ryder Windham’s Episode VI: Return of the Jedi novelization]

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I feel like people forget that Vader isn’t a reliable narrator. He’s the same man that’s desperate to convince himself and everyone around him that he’s not Anakin Skywalker anymore and that his real name holds no meaning because the owner to that name is ‘dead.’ But we know that’s a facade he puts up and an escapism to ignore the pain he’s in plus the knowledge of knowing that everything he’s done and is doing is wrong. So I just think it’s weird so to imply that Vader actually meant what he said when he claims that Padmé would’ve joined him and supported the Empire if she was alive. It should be obvious that Vader doesn’t actually believe this. He’s just desperate to convince himself that it’s true because he can’t handle the idea of her not choosing to be by his side if she had the chance, and also to help him make peace with himself to justify his actions as “correct.”

Anakin deep inside the mask of Vader knows this not to be true, and that’s one of the many reasons why the ghost and memory of Padmé haunts him. (Ofc apart from the grief and remorse he feels over what he did to her.) He knows his wife. He was the one to know her the most intimately and closely. And that’s why he also knows that she wouldn’t support his actions, despite what he tells himself, he knows she’s right. He always believed in her and trusted her above anyone else. He knew where her stance would lie, even if he tries his hardest to reassure himself that the Empire is “good.” He himself doesn’t even believe it.

Anakin himself hates who he became, and there’s a lovely scene from one of the Darth Vader comics (I think the 2017 one??) where he confronts himself as Anakin in a vision, and how he sees that his “old and true self” is resentful and disappointed in the version he became. The scene ends with Vader killing “Anakin”, symbolizing that he ended the man he “use to be.” (Or so he thinks.) all in all, Vader can go on about how he’s not ‘Anakin Skywalker’ anymore, or about how his wife would actually support him in his endeavours, but the fact of the matter is that he knows that’s all false. The soul and echo of Anakin Skywalker rings loud inside Vader, and nothing was able to diminish it.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Anakin’s love and marriage to Padmé wasn’t the issue of why he fell to the dark side. He was already being groomed by Palpatine in becoming his apprentice, and Padmé not being there wouldn’t have changed that. She just made it easier. Anakin was born a slave, which doesn’t leave him in the right headspace, and ever since Shmi died, Anakin became more unstable. Inevitably, he became more obsessed with control and wanting the power to stop the ones he loves from dying. Had Padmé not been in his life, Anakin still would have fallen due to Palpatine’s manipulations and topped with the Jedi’s mistreatment of Anakin. The Jedi and even OW failed Anakin in a way where Anakin came to a point where he doubts their faith in him, and he in return loses his trust him them. He says so himself in the ROTS novel. None of that had anything to do with Padmé.

But to insinuate that Anakin only cared for gaining “power” and essentially his “greed” is to blame for his actions, is super reductive understanding of his character. Yes, Anakin was greedy for control, and power. But not because he’s power hungry and wants to rule the galaxy. He only ever wanted more power to keep his loved ones safe, to assume control over what happens to him. (and this would’ve happened even if he and Padmé weren’t together.) saying that if Anakin “truly cared about saving his wife”, he would have told OW or any of the masters about his situation but didn’t because he was “greedy” is again, incorrect. Because Anakin DID go to the Jedi for advice. He talked to Yoda. Anakin put his faith into the Jedi but they didn’t exactly lead him down the path he needed.

Doubled with the fact that he knows the Council doesn’t trust him, and him not being sure he can trust them, (yes, including OW.) this led him to seeking answers in other and more dangerous places. Which was Palpatine. Whom Anakin is already vulnerable to and was being groomed by. Anakin’s fall to the darkside was due to his desperation and desire to save his wife, the love of his life. Not because he was greedy for more power and that he didn’t truly care about saving Padmé. That’s just a bad analysis of his character, intentions, and motivations. Anakin only became obsessed with the idea of “gaining power to rule and obtain authority” happened AFTER he fell. And that’s because the darkside plays with your sanity like that, makes you want and do things you normally wouldn’t do or want.

The main point is: Anakin’s fall doesn’t stem from his greed for wanting power because he seeks heroism, status, and authority. It was out of genuine love and desperation for his wife. Then again, his marriage to Padmé also isn’t to blame for his fall, because that was due to Anakin’s own fear of loss and abandonment. He would’ve fallen under any circumstance, with how unstable, vulnerable, and manipulated he was. That was the tragedy. He was always doomed to fall.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Vader always dreaming about an alternative life where how he picked the right path over choosing to trust Sidious is my Roman Empire. All of this is proof for the heart of Anakin Skywalker. Who says that Anakin wouldn’t have made the right choice if he hasn’t been manipulated into becoming what he is? Anakin was already so ready to kill Palpatine the minute he found out he was the Sith Lord. He would’ve supported Padmé in the Rebellion and they would’ve fought side by side against the Empire together.

All Anakin wanted here was the save the galaxy, hunt down more Siths, have someone like Padmé become chancellor, whom will bring true peace and justice to the worlds, raise their kid, and live happily together without having to hide their marriage all while supporting her and their son with whatever they choose to do.

Of course Anakin would’ve dropped the Jedi Order in a heartbeat for Padmé, because more than anything, all he wanted was to be with her and raise their child. But the part of him that scratches at the back of his head that he messed up by indirectly killing Mace and giving Sidious power over him is the buried hero inside Anakin that’s begging to be let out. He knows he messed up, and wishes he hadn’t. He wishes he had made the right choice and saved the galaxy, one where the Empire didn’t exist. This is all inside Vader’s subconscious. Vader always knew right from wrong.

It all clears up as to why Padmé never lost faith in him.

[skywalkr-nberrie]

Even Vader dreamed up a “what if” scenario where he ended up killing Palpatine and saving Mace in that scene from ROTS, then it all results in ending the war and Padmé becoming chancellor. They got to have their kid, come out as a couple, Anakin gets to remain a Jedi, and they live happily together.

All of this is a projection of Anakin’s true desires and dreams, deep inside the mask of Vader. All he truly wanted was to keep fighting for the good of the galaxy, support his wife for doing so as well, while also having his domestic life with her and their kids.

(From Darth Vader and the Lost Command.)

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I was rereading some chapters of Queen’s Peril, and I just love how the book talks about how as a kid Padmé use to travel off world with her dad, Ruwee, to other planets and doing public service, like food distribution, relocating citizens, etc. Padmé even suggested to her family that they grow a kitchen garden in their backyard, and save the crop (vegetables, fruits) they grow and donate it to starving families, on world and off world.

I also just love how the story parallels Anakin and Padmé in the narrative, in the sense that they both come from modest origins, and humble beginnings, (Of course, Padmé’s dad is well endorsed in relief movements and public service, but the Naberries still aren’t noblemen.) but are destined to become prodigies whom were both identified as gifted and brilliant young people at an early age. Also they’re strong sense of justice, with Padmé wanting to aid anyone in need, and Anakin vowing to leave Tatooine someday and free the slaves. It’s giving ✨ “made for one another” and “soulmatism” ✨