"I know it is and I'm sorry for even asking."She sighs,"I had a dream that you watched me being killed. And it wasn't as if anyone was holding you back from stopping it from happening, you stood there as if you were pleased that it was happening. Your eyes were filled with nothing but hatred. It felt so real that I woke up before I actually passed out."Elena explained before trailing off,"I just wanted to know, that's all."
After her first sentence, Stefan believes that will be it--that they don't have to press any further because god, he does not want to say anything about feelings. Saint Stefan? Hell yeah, he'd be spilling his heart out on the spot. Ripper? That's simply not an option. Not an easily attained one, anyway.
But then she goes on to describe her dream and something within Stefan coils strangely. He remembers hating few people in his life. Katherine, for one. If Stefan were to say someone had completely fucked him over, he would blurt out her name first, above all. He's not even sure she will never know how much bitterness he holds against her. And then there's Klaus, who tore away his freewill with just a few simple words. There is the extent of his hatred.
But hating Elena? Even now, that seems rather...unthinkable. She's been a friend thus far, has she not? She's stuck by him, beyond all reason why.
She keeps going on, or so it seems, and all he hears are those words, grating inside him. He feels like shrinking away, closing his eyes and maybe the scene before him will be a different one. But this is real--and he has no idea how to react. What would Saint Stefan do?
[Place his hands on her shoulders, shake his head and tell her, "I would never do such a thing. I do love you--I could never hate you, Elena. If I ever did something like that, I would never forgive myself." Perhaps kiss her on the forehead and offer his best smile. Maybe hug her. But sometimes he keeps his distance.]
Stefan ignores the fact that he knows exactly what he'd do if he weren't supposed to be ruled by monstrous intent.
"That would never happen," he suddenly blurts out, as if he knows exactly what's in the future. But, see, the thing is...it won't happen. Because there's no way he'd let it.
(Because Stefan Salvatore is still the same person, ripper or not. And that love is carried over. He knows it. But ignores it all the same. It'll get easier, he hopes.)
"I wouldn't..." he frowns, knowing this conversation is already taking a hard toll. What right does a monster have to say 'I love you'? "It was a nightmare. I don't...I don't hate you, Elena."
It's the other way around.
A thought occurs to him suddenly. And while he shouldn't ask, he finds himself staring at her with questionable eyes. His keeps his lips sealed, keeping in the words he wishes to say.
Do you love me?
But he doesn't ask. Instead, he stuffs his hands in his pockets and waits for a reply. It doesn't matter, he tells himself. Because it will never go anywhere. Rippers are monsters and he doesn't ever forget that fact.