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Sweet and Heady

Pairing: Jud Duplenticy x DaughterBlanc!Reader WC: 17,253 CW: SMUT, almost every k!nk possible, oral, p in v, size k!nk, submissive jud everyday pls, body worship, yeah a whole lotta debauchery A/N: Hiya, I converted my oc fic to a self insert, an it's hella long so I do apologize! Also this might turn into a mini series if I decide to explore Daughter!Blanc lore... no promises. Link on AO3: here Status: Complete Summary: What if Benoit had a daughter? And what if you were exactly what Jud needed? “You’re far from worthless… You’re everything to them.” Turning to him, you placed both hands on his cheeks, leaning back into his space. He pressed against the palms cradling him, they smelled like your perfume. Something sweet... tangy, like honey or fig. It made his mouth water. “And to you, Father?” His lungs squeezed, heart fluttering uncontrollably between his ribs. You were a river, coursing through his veins. Water nourishing his heat scorched earth, bringing back life to his roots. Ones that had almost shriveled up into dust from drought that threatened to consume him. But he would not drink. “A really good friend.”

Benoit’s firm hand squeezed Jud's shoulder as he held Martha in his arms. Her last breath leaving with his forgiving prayer. The priest, with glassy eyes, closed hers, a shuddered sign escaping his cracked lips. But as soon as that cursed pink diamond fell at their feet, Blanc was up and running like his ass was on fire.

With the weight of the day and a hard decision on his hands, Jud quickly pocketed the damned thing before Geraldine was back with medics. They took Martha from him, the ghost of her warmth pulled from his limbs. He stood on shaky legs before joining the purposely absent detective outside.

“You, my boy, need a shower, meal, and a bed. Preferably in that exact order.” Blanc gave him a look over; mud caked on his clothes was now uncomfortably dry. He could only nod, too tired to put up much of a fight as he gently led him to the backseat of his car.

The shower felt like heaven after being wet and cold for such a prolonged amount of time. His muscles ached, the heat slowly loosening the tight knots in his shoulders. He wondered how long was too long to sit under the blissful hot water before Benoit got worried and checked in on him. Begrudgingly, he stepped out and quickly dressed in flannel pants and a loose shirt. Formalities well past them at this point.

Bare feet against the hard wood floor, Blanc heard him as he approached the kitchen. Jud shouldn’t be surprised with his new acquaintance and his near limitless talents but—surprise surprise. The man had thrown together a full meal. Maybe he was in the shower longer than he thought.

“Where did you get all of this? I know we didn’t have a whole chicken…” Benoit turned around from sitting the mentioned bird on the table.

“Oh well I forgot to mention my—“ suddenly a clatter in the office distracted them both.

“Did I not say to leave it alone…” Blanc grumbled before stomping towards the noise. Confused, the priest followed closely behind. Benoit flung open the office door, hands on his hips in preparation for an argument. Jud peaked over his shoulder to see the cause of his irritation.

“What have I told you? I can't take you anywhere!” At first he saw nothing, but then your head sheepishly rose from behind the desk. You wore the biggest shit-eating grin he’d ever seen.

“Oops?” You followed the word by raising a hand, holding what appeared to be a broken frame. Jud's stomach did a flip.

“Um, hello?” He was beyond confused by what was happening in front of him. Benoit walked over to you, hand out in annoyance. You bit your lip to stifle a giggle, clearly unfazed by the stern authority in Blanc's scowl. You handed over the offending item gingerly, standing up from your spot on the floor.

You were shorter than them both, dressed in a light cardigan over a graphic T-shirt of what looked like a scene from a horror movie. His gaze dropped lower, taking in the way your tight ripped jeans hugged your thighs—he cleared his throat looking back up. That caught your attention. Blanc wiped his head to Jud, remembering what he was doing before the interruption.

“I’m sorry Padre, as I was about to tell you. I forgot to mention that my darlin’, (Y/N), would be joining us.” Benoit rounded the desk, sitting the broken photo back down safely to deal with later.

“I had her go pick us up some supplies for dinner. I do apologize, I hope it’s alright she join us?” Jud's brows drew together. Darling? But he thought… he nodded quickly, slightly embarrassed.

With the tailored suits, finely manicured nails, and musical numbers—Jud had kinda assumed Blanc was, well, not straight. So this must be his… wife? His very young, very attractive wife. You looked like you were closer in age to Jud than Blanc. He had noticed Benoit's wedding ring before but—as they say, assuming makes an ass out of you and me.

“S-sure yeah of course, I don’t mind. All's welcome!” He couldn’t help the nervous rambling that tumbled out of his mouth.

“Wonderful!” Benoit jumped back in action, heading to the kitchen to finish setting up for dinner. Jud gave a timid smile to you.

“It’s lovely to meet you, (Y/N). I’m Jud.” You gave him a once over, the corner of your lip upturned.

“Likewise Father.” The syllables dragged out. The look in your eye was a little too friendly; a shiver ran up his spine. Jud swallowed before quickly following in the older man’s footsteps.

–

“Oh God Blanc, is there anything you can’t do?” Jud didn’t realize how starved he had been. One bite and he was shoveling in food like a man who had been lost at sea.

“Oh you flatter me Jud, truly.” You hummed in agreement.

“He’s a total feeder for sure. Stuffs me full anytime he can.” Jud choked a little on his food. You lifted a sharp brow.

“Easy there Jud! It ain’t going anywhere.” Blanc clapped him on the back. He slowed down, chasing his coughs with a drink of water.

“Yeah sorry, I kind forgot to eat much with everything going on.” His recovery was smooth. Benoit dabbed a napkin to his chin.

“Well, it’s been a doozy that’s for sure. I could only imagine what this week has been like for you.” Jud smiled, looking to change the subject.

“I wanted to ask—what brings you here, (Y/N)? Do you normally come with Blanc on cases?”

You ripped into a biscuit, steam rolling off the bread, “Actually I—”

“Oh please! Can I tell him? I never get the chance to brag about you.” Blanc was practically giddy with excitement. You rolled your eyes, gently swatting his arm.

“Not like I could stop you if I tried.” Benoit grabbed your hand on the table, giving it a light squeeze before bringing it up to give your knuckles a quick kiss. Jud watched the exchange closely. Again, your brow raised, but with a quizzical glance.

“(Y/N) just got her Masters degree. Has a job lined up already! It just so happens that it’s one town over. And because she knew I’d be in the area for a case—she came along to check it out. It was odd how well things worked out.” Jud's brows creased.

“Oh, that—that’s amazing. Congrats! Um, are you thinking of moving for long term? Or is this just a temporary position?” Surely Benoit wouldn’t want to move out here; he wasn’t made for suburban life. That Jud was certain of. But it wouldn’t be totally crazy to think they might live separately over long periods of time. Blanc's work must take him all over the world after all.

“I wanna see how I like it, but I’m not opposed to it. I like the area. Who knows?” You shrugged your shoulders. Jud nodded.

“Do you think it’ll be hard living alone?” Things like that can really strain a relationship. You narrowed your eyes, a small smile creeping into your features.

“Hmm, I enjoy my space… and independence. Besides, he could do without seeing me all the time. We can fight like cats and dogs. Gets pretty rough sometimes.” Jud's eyes widened.

Blanc rolled his eyes, “Oh hooyee. You’re the one that’ll drain the life out of me! Exhausting really. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Jud had no good reason for the choking this time, wheezing a cough as Benoit slapped him hard. You couldn’t help it, a throaty laugh exploding from you.

“Father are you alright?” Jud put a hand out, gulping down breaths. Blanc snapped his eyes over to your hyena squeals.

“And why on earth are you laughing at the poor man!” The priest finally calmed down, just as you cleared your throat to steady your bubbling giggles.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Ah. This is better than TV!” Blanc shook his head, confused, Jud joining him with a shrug.

“Father Jud, please forgive me for putting you through this for so long—detective Blanc?” You stuck a thumb at the man beside you. Jud nodded after you waited a beat for a response.

“He’s my dad. My very gayandmarriedtomyotherdad dad.” Jud's face turned into a beet-red cherry tomato. Benoit looked between you both, still in a haze of puzzlement.

“What are you—” He put his face in his hands, too embarrassed to look up. Blanc squinted in thought before jumping back.

“Father Jud! Did you think that we were—oh, I could tan your hide!” You started into another wave of laughter, now at your dad's expense, to the point of tears.

“So worth it.”

–

Jud busied himself with cleaning the table once everyone was finished. Blanc had given you an earful while Jud sat stewing in his shame. You took it in stride, sneaking little glances at Jud throughout the rest of dinner. As he was rinsing a cup, you slid up beside him.

“I am sorry for embarrassing you… you're just too adorable not to pick on. I couldn’t help myself.” You said, pressing into him, your hands joining his in the soapy water.

He felt heat on his face again, and for a completely different reason. “It’s a-alright, all in good fun.” You nodded, scrubbing at a dish.

“Dad is quite fond of you, you know. I can see why.” You tilted your head towards him. He smiled.

“Really? I felt like a thorn in his side the whole time he was trying to save me.” You laughed, the sound light and breezy.

“You wouldn’t be the first, but he likes that. I wasn’t kidding when I said we fight. He enjoys the challenge.” The priest joined you in a chuckle.

“Well I didn’t make it easy for him, that’s for sure.” You nudged his shoulder, reaching for the next item.

“What he likes about you, what I like about you… you freely give yourself to people. Open up and offer them a connection without expectation.” Jud let out a breath, silenced at the sincerity of your words. His hands re-submerged into the sink, fingers grazing yours lightly. He could feel your stare on the side of his face.

Jud risked a quick glance at you, but couldn’t look away from your dark eyes. The light of the kitchen catching them and bringing out the variation of colors within.

“Pretty,” he whispered, unaware of the slip.

You returned his intense stare with a grin, “Huh?”

He coughed, looking back at the now empty sink.

“I mean- Th-thank you. I really needed to hear that.”

And he was right. That moment with Louise had brought out a fear in him, that he was losing that tether to himself amongst the festering cancer of Wicks’ shadow. Connection is what he valued above all else. It was how he knew he could serve God to heal the broken like him.

Your smile softened, hand clasping his under the cooling water. “You’re a good person Jud, don’t ever doubt that. And what you do? For others? It’s everything.” Jud couldn’t help the strained chuckle that shook his bones. The weight of today, the weight of everything he was going through, finally came crashing down. The laugh turned into a hiccup as tears started pouring out of him.

You immediately pulled his hands out of the water, “Hey hey, it's ok. There we are, that’s it.” You maneuvered his body around to face you, bringing his arms around your waist.

“Come on sweetie. I’ve got ya.” Your voice was gentle, filled with soothing comfort. A complete switch from the playful teasing from before. He let himself be moved, sagging into your firm hold.

Your hug was the anchor he needed, finally letting himself break down completely. You supported the weight of him surprisingly well considering the height difference. Your arms wrapped around him, one hand grasping at the back of his head. Still-damp fingers pushing him into the crook of your shoulder. The other at the small of his back, rubbing soothing circles. He openly sobbed into the warmth of your skin.

Benoit had been standing in the doorway in silence, watching the exchange. His face pinched in worry. You gave him a small smile, the unspoken words between you reassuring. Blanc nodded, creeping away to let Jud have his moment without interruption.

And Jud did. He let out all of the things he had been bottling up. Fingers clinging to the soft knit of your cardigan. Slowly his breathing calmed down. He took a deep inhale into your hair at the base of your neck. The smell of your skin and the faint traces of a perfume long since faded was grounding. He let out a sigh against you. He thought he could feel a shudder run through you. If he did, it was ignored as he squeezed you tighter. You patted his back and he took that as an opportunity to remove himself from your arms.

“Thank you…” he whispered, voice tired and brittle. You brought your hand up to his face, sleeve between your fingers as you dried the damp spots of his face. You kept your hand up, palm resting gently on his cheek.

“Of course.”

—

After, Jud was escorted to his small bed by your father. He was already deep in REM cycle before Benoit could shut the door. He found you In the living room poking at the low burning fire, Blanc came up to sit beside you in the opposite chair.

“What. A. Mess.” His shoulder drooped, finally relaxing.

You nodded, “But he’s going to be alright. Just needs some time and support.” The detective hummed, watching you as you played in the fireplace. He bit the inside of his mouth, thinking.

“Support… yes.” You side-eyed him. “I know that tone. What are you scheming now, pops?”

“Oh come on! I’m n—” You leveled him with a look. “Ok ok… you are going to be in the area. I just thought that—” You leaned over to place a hand over his. It had been tapping at the side of the chair.

“You can’t help it, can you? Always adding more adopted children to worry about. You’d think I was plenty.” Blanc chuckled, patting your hand.

“My darlin’, you’re more than me or your father could have ever hoped for. You know that. I just—I can’t help my concern.” You did know. Both of them gave you a home built on love most can only dream of. And as always, Blanc was a big old softy for the helpless.

“I know, I know. I’ll keep an eye on him. Won't be hard either, with him being a cutie.” You teased. Your father just gave you a look.

“Now, don’t be gettin’ any ideas. He’s got enough on his plate without you overwhelming the man.” You pretended to be offended, hand clutching fake pearls.

“Why Dad! Whatever do you mean?” You giggled.

Benoit continued, “But I would appreciate updates. He’s… he’s a good one.” You knew exactly how he felt. Outside of what your dad had been telling you while working the case, meeting Jud sealed the deal.

“I think so too.”

Jud woke up around noon, days of little to no sleep finally catching up to him. He was in a rumpled state, not bothering to change into his priest clothes since he assumed he’d be alone after last night.

He was wrong.

As he descended the steps, he could hear singing coming from the kitchen. Benoit must have stayed; the melody was dramatic and ethereal. Phantom of the Opera. He couldn’t help but smile. But when he rounded the corner, you were humming along. Your back was to him.

The sun was coming in, creating a soft glow around you. Rays danced in your hair; it was mesmerizing. The song shifted, and you joined in. Voice soft and lush. His heart jumped. You had removed your cardigan, revealing your swaying hips.

You turned around to sit something on the table, eyes locking with Jud’s. “Ah fuck, Father!” You said with a gasp. Something less innocent jumped at that.

Fuck indeed…

“I—I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” He rubbed the back of his neck as he sat at the table.

You let out a laugh, “It’s alright, was lost in the music I guess.” He nodded.

“When I heard it, I thought you were Blanc—I noticed his taste in musicals.” You laughed, shifting back into your cooking.

“Oh yeah, me and Dad have burned up Broadway many-a-time. Papa doesn’t care for it, so I became his replacement theater bug. Never will forget Dad full-on sobbing to a particularly haunting rendition of Memory.” The image of Blanc crying to Cats made Jud chuckle.

“That’s interesting. I can’t say I’m not a little curious to what kind of person Blanc would be with.” You were stirring something in a pot, the smell making his mouth water.

“Papa? Well, he’s nothing like Dad. As you’ve probably noticed, he’s got a large personality.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” You snickered at that.

“Papa’s name is Phillip. They met on a case when Dad was just starting out as a detective. He was a suspect- of course, but Dad knew immediately that he was innocent.” Jud gave a knowing smile.

“He’s always been like that?” You looked over at him.

“He was obvious, kinda like you, wears his heart on his sleeve. Dad saw straight through him.” Jud felt heat rising to his face, a little embarrassed at being called out. You cleared your throat, brows drawn together.

“I realize that might come off wrong—it—it’s a good thing, Jud. Really. The world would be better with more people like you in it.” Now you were the one embarrassed, having put your foot in your mouth.

Jud gave you a sheepish grin, “No, no. You’re honest—just like your dad. And the same can be said for you.” Both of you stared, silence only interrupted by the ticking of the wall clock. You were blushing too, cheeks and nose rosy. You straightened your posture, returning back to the stove. He wished you hadn’t.

“Anyway—Papa is very mild-mannered compared to Dad. You’d think it wouldn’t work but, man, they’re perfect together. They argue, sure—but it’s kinda adorable and silly when they do. Dad is a total queen sometimes, and Papa just feeds into it. I think they like pushing each other's buttons. Dad’s like that. Again, large personality.” Jud could picture it, and it made perfect sense.

“Papa is a professor; I get my academics from him. Total bookworm.” Jud tried to think of Blanc and what he would assume his type to be, and that checked most of the boxes.

“He sounds sweet; I know he’s a good person if he’s married to Blanc. He’d hate me for saying it but he’s a godsend.” You must have been done, hands now rummaging through the cabinets for a plate.

“He would, but the sentiment would still be appreciated. By that statement I assume he let it be known he’s a staunch atheist?” You had filled the plate and were now bringing it over to Jud. It was some kind of curry over rice. His stomach let out a loud grumble making you grin from ear to ear.

“Yeah, almost immediately. And you?” He didn’t wait for a response before he shoveled the almost too-hot food into his mouth. It was delicious. He almost moaned at how good it was. You looked pleased by his eagerness.

“Simple answer, sure. Dad has some… trauma with institutionalized religion having grown up the way he did. Papa less so. But both let me come to my own conclusions. And that conclusion is… complicated.” That had Jud stop mid chew. You had looked away at that point, now focusing on the twirling wind chime hanging outside the window.

“Complicated?” A ghost of a smile haunted your lips.

“I think that the world is a jungle of confusion. All of us animals trying to find the answers to questions we don’t even know the meaning of.” You let out a deep sigh before continuing.

“Life is hard; it happens to you. None of us ask for it or have any real way of controlling what it does to us in the end.” He looked at you, taking in the way your eyes were eerily clear with something he’d never seen in someone so young. A deep knowing.

“And in the end?” The question was a whisper. You turned back to him, softness returning to you.

“I think that—all that there is to be known—can only be known by the dead. And we aren’t there yet. Are we?” Jud felt a chill from the words, not from the weight of them, but by the weight they had coming from you.

As a priest, even in the youth of it as he was, he’d seen enough working with the dead, dying, and mourning to know when someone had gone through tragedy in life. And with the gentle calm in your voice carrying the heaviness of that message? He knew that you had seen it first-hand.

He reached out a hand to place it gently on yours, giving it a light squeeze. You returned the touch with your other hand, lightly patting the top of his before standing. He watched you as you got your own plate, deep in thought. His mind wandered back to when you took him in your arms—holding him with a comfort and strength that broke what little barriers he had left almost instantly.

You were a mystery of your own, and Jud found himself curious to solve it.

-

You and your father hung around on and off for a couple of days after the funerals. Jud was grateful for it. The detective gave him his contact, insisting he call if anything came up. He still didn’t bring up the diamond and Jud knew he never would. You also gave him your number, and your new address.

“I’m only twenty minutes away. It’s a cute place, you should come by and visit.” He smiled.

“I’d like that, will you let me know when you’re settled?” You nodded before giving him a long hug. Jud was proud to say he only melted into it slightly. Blanc was watching, eyes narrow with study.

They both climbed in the detective’s car, Blanc buckled in before giving you a look.

“(Y/N), need I remind you Jud is a priest?” You looked at him a little bewildered.

“Well duh.” He rolled his eyes at you.

“And priests have vows... Of chastity?” You let out a nervous chuckle.

“Dad! I’m not going to fuck Jud! I promise!” Blanc just side-eyed you.

“Yeah yeah, like you promised not to mess with the rich widow from Italy. I hadn’t even ruled her out yet before you were on her like cellophane.” You huffed.

“You said you’d stop bringing that up. And I knew she was innocent, she was left-handed.” You purposely omitted the detail of only figuring that out when the woman’s hand was up your dress.

“I’m just sayin’, please be mindful. I’d rather not have you calling me up in the middle of the night about the totally preventable existential crisis you might or might not have brought upon yourself.” You folded your arms.

“Well Dad, it takes two to tango, so you have nothing to worry about.” Blanc only thumped his finger on the wheel. “That’s what I’m afraid of,” went unspoken.

You watched the treeline as you drove, a corner of your mouth curling.

I’m gonna fuck that priest.

It was only a few days since you had left that Jud got his first text from you. It was a picture of a poster, a band performing at some local bar. “Are priests allowed to go to punk shows?” He barked a laugh in the silence of his room.

“When are we going?”

—

Jud couldn’t stop flexing his hands, rubbing them roughly on the front of his well-worn dark denim jeans. Despite being fully clothed, he felt completely naked. He had decided against his collar given the occasion and was wearing his spare day clothes he rarely ever touched anymore. The priestly uniform was comforting, familiar. This oddly less so.

White shirt, blue flannel, and dark jeans. He kept checking himself in the mirror. He felt off. During his stay in Chimney Rock, he never had the opportunity or need to wear anything outside his uniform. Bishop Langstrom would probably be worried to know how little he let himself have recreational time. He had been at war with Wicks. Days off felt like admitting defeat.

Now he had no excuse.

The light honk from outside let him know you were there. Jud peeked out the window of the living room and gave you a quick wave. Scooping up his wallet and keys, he glanced one last time in the mirror to mess with his hair.

Your car looked… expensive to say the least. A vintage cherry red Corvette, a convertible with cream white interior. He let out a whistle. “Like her? Papa wants to steal her, Dad says it’s a bit much.”

Jud felt the leather seats, “Damn, I can imagine why. Blanc is probably just jealous—she’s beautiful. I’ve never been in something this nice.” You smiled at his wandering hands, taking in the details around him.

“Well, I thought I’d treat myself since I got my degree and first adult job, ya know?” He nodded.

“New job pays well?” You snorted at that, peeling out of the driveway.

“Not at all.” Jud didn’t pry, but was as curious as ever.

—

The place was already crowded by the time you got there, bodies on bodies. You kept a firm hold on his hand as you weaved through to the bar.

“Do priests drink?” You said, leaning over into his ear for him to hear you better. Your hot breath made him shiver.

“Yeah, whiskey is fine.” He went to pull money from his wallet but you slapped at his hand.

“Keep it, I asked you out—remember? On me.” You gave him a wink before slinking up to the counter to wave down the bartender. Jud shook his head, but couldn't stop his eyes from moving down your body. Tonight you were wearing a high-waisted skirt that hit mid-thigh with tights and heeled booties. Your back was covered with a light jacket, but he had already taken notice of your crop top. The sliver of skin he could see was… He looked back up, suddenly aware of how dry his throat was.

You had managed to grab the drinks quickly, sliding up to him with a cheerful grin.

“To the new and the old.” You raised a glass. He smiled and clinked his against yours. You downed yours quickly and tipped his back up when he tried to set it down.

“Ah ah, you need to loosen up there, big boy. Come on.” His ears tingled with warmth, but he followed the instructions anyway. You were right, after all.

When finished, you took the glasses back to the bar—flagging for a refill. He laughed. He couldn’t help but notice the similar mannerism between you and Blanc. The tell-tale air of calm control. That thought was interrupted when he noticed a woman come up beside you, hand placed on the small of your back.

You turned to her, eyes sweeping down before shifting into a casual smile. The woman whispered something in your ear. You laughed before leaning in, eyes cutting back to the priest. He felt like he was under a spotlight, caught with his hands in the cookie jar. But why, Jud couldn’t explain.

Maybe this was something he shouldn’t see. You just smirked, eyes trained on him as you placed a hand on the woman’s arm. You whispered something, making the woman smile before she slowly slipped her hand into the back pocket of your tight skirt. His throat was dry again.

You leaned into the touch, the woman still whispering in your ear. Your eyes never left his. Then, the woman pulled away. Jud watched as she sauntered over to what must have been her group of friends.

You cleared your throat, startling him, already back with the refills. There was a mischievous glint in your eyes when you handed him the drink.

“Oh th-thanks. Um, someone you know?” You shook your head.

“Nope.” You emphasized the 'p' with a pop of your lips. Your smirk made his stomach do somersaults. Jud nodded, silencing himself with a large gulp. You reached into your pocket, revealing a scrap of paper.

“But she wants to be.” Jud choked on his drink. He could feel the burn in his nose. You let out a howl as he gasped.

“She’s cute,” he murmured after he calmed down the sting in his lungs.

“Yeah, she thinks you are too.” This made Jud tilt his head in confusion. You toyed with your straw.

“What did she say? Oh yeah, something like she wouldn’t mind climbing him like a tree?” His mouth opened, looking back over at the woman who was noticeably watching you both. He turned scarlet.

“I am jealous of your height, mine wasn’t so clever. Just asked me to sit on her face.” Jud’s eyes were wide, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Wow, um, wasn’t expecting that.” Then you leaned into him, voice low.

“I told her you wouldn’t be able to join. She was only mildly disappointed.” The man looked over, seeing you give the woman a flirty wave.

“Join?” he stammered. You hummed, sliding the paper back into your pocket.

“Just cause you're out of the game, Father, doesn’t mean we all are.” Jud nodded, thoughts spinning as he drank more from his glass. Something slithered in his gut, too uncomfortably close to envy. At who, he wouldn’t acknowledge.

“Does watching break your vows? She looks like the type to enjoy an audience.” Jud choked again, you slapping his back.

“Sorry, sorry. God, it’s so fun to fuck with you.” Jud was going to die of asphyxiation if he hung around you much longer.

—

“Let’s take a break outside, yeah?” You had been listening to the opening band’s set, the heat building as the show started. You tugged him to the side door.

The air felt blissfully cool compared to the sauna of the packed bar. You pulled out your smokes, lighter flicking on. The light caught on your face, highlighting the apples of your cheeks. Jud stood there breathing in the crisp air.

“Smoke?” You said, tilting the open pack at him. He shook his head.

“If you wanted to go hang out with—” he thumbed back towards the bar, “I’d understand.” But he would hate it if he was being honest—and he wasn’t.

“Jud,” you moved up next to him, shoulder bumping into his arm, “I’m here with you. I’d be a shit friend to do something like that.” Friend. He felt a conflicting surge of happiness and disappointment at that.

“And besides, I’ve got her number. But probably won’t use it.” He nodded.

“She… not your type?” The multiple meanings didn’t go unnoticed. You smiled at him.

“Her specifically? No. But women? Yes, about 70% of the time. Other 30, your end of the spectrum.” He shouldn’t have been so excited at the your part.

“Would you want her number?” His head swiveled up from looking at the broken pavement.

“What? I’m—I can’t I—” You giggled at his stammering.

“You’re telling me you don’t partake? Just a little?” Jud’s mouth opened in shock.

“(Y/N), I’m a priest. It kinda comes with a particular set of rules with the position.” You leaned on the brick behind you, taking a slow drag of your cigarette.

“And you know as well as I do that discretion is the name of the game for men of your… position.” Jud didn’t know if the liquor was getting to him but he couldn’t help the little laugh that spilled out.

“You really are something, aren’t you?” You kicked off the wall and stood in front of him. He could smell the smoke mixing with the increasingly familiar scent of you with how close you were. He wanted to bottle it up.

“Jud,” you caught his eyes, “I want you to experience more life. It’s precious. Fragile. You should know this more than most.” He let out a shaky exhale.

“Tonight we are just two people having a good time! God would want you to have this. And you don’t have to feel guilt to enjoy it. Just. Have. Fun.” You said, each word punctuated with a poke to his chest. Jud looked up at the night sky, eyes shut and lips curling into a smile.

You were right. And that’s when he realized. The teasing, the pushing his buttons, the spontaneousness of this whole night—you were distracting him. Giving him a moment in time to have a memory of life.

And you held it, soothing water cupped in your small hands, gently feeding it to his dry, cracked lips. Oasis and mercy. He groaned, pushing his fingers into his eyes.

“Thank you. Thank you for pulling me out of my head.” You raised your arms, hugging him with a loose hold.

“Yeah well, you’re a martyr by nature. Can’t leave you in there too long.” He returned the hug, nerves calm in a way he hadn’t known since arriving in Chimney Rock.

You pulled away slightly, your grin near blinding him.

“Now let’s get drunk, dance, and listen to loud fucking music.”

—

Jud was absolutely fucked.

Actually, fucked wasn’t even close to what he was now. He’d lost count of the amount of liquor he’d had at this point. Your soft hands pulled him along. They were the only thing he could really register at this stage. You were drunk too, but holding yourself together far better than he was.

“Hell, Jud! Who knew you had this much energy.” He was buzzing, skin electric from where you had your hand on his arm. Both of you were in a booth now, a dark corner of the bar, breathing hard from the rocking of your bodies in the small crowd. He was sweating like crazy. Jud started to pull at his flannel.

“Here, let me help.” You were close, chest brushing his as you pushed it down his shoulders. He shuddered. You had also removed your jacket, now tied around your waist, exposing your arms and giving him more skin to take in.

You huffed, exerted by the dancing and wrangling of his clothes. Your eyes sparkled, the twinkling lights from the stage reflecting back at him.

“I haven’t had this much of a workout since I stopped boxing!” He yelled over the music. You laughed, leaning back and fanning yourself. You moved to stretch out your legs, hooking one thigh over his. He instinctively put his hand on your knee, steadying it.

“I knew you were athletic. Shit, you must be ripped under those clothes.” He laughed, shaking his head.

“Hardly, I’m pretty out of shape compared to before.” You leaned up, mouth open in a dramatic drunk gasp.

“Shut up! You out of shape? Next to me, you look like something on the cover of Vogue.” You relaxed a bit, leaning on his shoulder. Jud was the next to open his mouth, out came a barking laugh.

“Oh come on, saying that looking like that. And you just got a woman’s number!” You stilled before leaning over, eyebrow raised.

“Looking like what exactly, Father?” It came out like a purr. Jud swallowed, hand flexing on your knee. The motion caught your attention, eyes back and forth from the touch to his face. He realized how close you were, how intimate your position was. He let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding.

“(Y/N)…” he whispered, eyes dropping to your lips. His hand was slipping, almost like he was out of body watching as it moved from your knee to the top of your thigh.

“Jud…” your voice mirrored his, the heat of it caressing his cheek. Sweat peppered your skin, your eye makeup smudged. You were devastatingly beautiful. The distance between you shrunk. Who moved was debatable. But just as Jud’s lips were about to brush yours, you put a hand on his chest.

“Ok, big boy, I think it’s time to call it.” His head was still swimming. You unhooked your leg and sat up, pushing at his side. He followed your lead, letting himself be pushed out of the booth and pulled in the direction of the door. His heart was still beating hard, feeling your hand in his.

You went to the car, Jud stopping suddenly. “(Y/N), I know you’re too drunk to drive.” You smiled at him, opening the back door to pull out your purse. Oh.

“Yes, Jud, and that is why I’m leaving it safely here and walking us home.” You came around, hooking your arm into his. Us?

“Home?” He asked with a lift of his brow. You nodded, pointing down the street.

“Yeah, it’s only a couple of blocks from here. Won’t take a second.” He nodded, wheels in his head turning. He could still feel the heat of your body pressed to his, the soft give of your thigh under his touch. Your arm was the only thing anchoring him in that moment.

You fished out a set of keys before slinging the bag over your shoulder. You huffed out a content sigh, leaning closer to him as you walked. It would be peaceful if Jud wasn’t silently freaking out. You seemed to be none the wiser to his now-clammy hands.

You reached the building, climbing the stairs, his limbs gangly and tripping him up. Laughing, you pulled him against you to help his stumbling—it did the opposite. Unlocking your door, you flung it open, shoving the drunk man inside.

You started losing layers, booties kicked off, jacket slung to a chair in the living room. You giggled your way into the small kitchen while Jud tried to take in details of the apartment. It was still a little sparse, but he could see glimpses of your personality sprinkled around.

A painting here, a knick-knack there. What really caught his eye was a small framed photo. It looked burned at the edges. It was of a couple, arm in arm under the canopy of a willow tree. They looked very in love. And oddly familiar. Jud’s attention was pulled away by the clattering of dishes from the kitchen. He turned, following the noise.

You were humming, hips slightly swinging in front of the stove. Jud wanted to reach out and grab them.

He refrained.

“Whatcha makin’?” he whispered, voice only slightly slurred.

“Ramen, want some?” You whispered with a giggle. Jud came up beside you.

“God, yes.” He was instantly hungry. You continued to pull the bowls, watching the noodles cooking. Jud couldn’t help but take you in, eyes roaming. You had swept your hair from your shoulder, exposing your neck to the cool air of the room. Sweat had dampened the baby hairs at the nape. His hunger shifted from his stomach to lower.

You finished off the bowls, turning to the small counter to sit. Jud sat next to you, shoulder bumping yours. The moment was sweet, the food warm, and your smile cheerful. Life. Everything he needed after the shit this last month had been.

Jud bent towards you, having finished his food, letting himself watch you unapologetically. You joined him, hand tucked under your chin and returning the stare.

“Have a good time?” He nodded, pushing the bowls away and pulling your stool closer to his with his foot. His long legs were now on either side of you. You only grinned wider.

“The best. It was a nice change of pace—thank you.” His voice was low, nerves replaced by a growing confidence. He was now the one toeing the line, knowing that he should stop. He didn’t want to.

“Well, I can’t exactly say my intentions were meant to be… nice.” You met him in tone, facing toward Jud and letting him crowd your space.

“Oh really? I didn’t notice.” He raised a hand up, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear—fingers lingering longer than they should.

“Father, it’s a sin to lie…” You said with a purposefully exaggerated whisper, lips curling with amusement. A hand settled on his left thigh, squeezing it lightly.

“It sure is, isn’t it? Very out of character for me.” He leaned down closer, drunk smile in full force. You chuckled at his adorable state.

“You’ve been full of surprises tonight, Jud.” You inched up, your other hand coming up to hold the side of his face. He hummed, melting into the touch. His idle hand went to your waist, fingers grazing the slip of skin between your top and skirt.

The air was electric; Jud was tingling from the crown of his head to the base of his spine. The touch of your hand on him pulled him in, keeping him alert despite the amount of alcohol in his system.

He felt you move toward him, excitement stirring in his gut. Immediately you tilted his face in your hand, bringing his face to yours. Instead of feeling your plush lips against his, you gave him a quick peck on the apple of his cheek. He turned, a look of surprise and confusion on his face. You smiled, giving the side of his face a light tap.

“Bedtime, big boy.” You stood, body grazing his as you moved out from between his legs. The whiplash was jarring.

“Wait. But I—?” You pulled his hand, pushing him softly onto your couch. He was still slightly slack-jawed as you pulled out a spare blanket and pillow, gently maneuvering him into a position for sleep. You smiled at him, tucking him in like a child with a giggle.

“Jud…” You sat at the edge of the couch beside him, leaning over to be inches from his face.

“I’m drunk. You are drunk. When I do have you?” You moved over to his ear, voice a sensual whisper.

“It’ll be sober and without hesitation.” He swallowed, letting the words sink in. You pulled away, but not before giving him a kiss on the forehead.

When you left him, he was confused, conflicted, and painfully hard.

-

Morning was less than fun. Even with it this early, the sun was already starting to glare at him from the window. One suffers for their sins indeed.

Jud was thankful for the water and bottle of pills placed on the table beside him. You must have had the wherewithal to think ahead—a blessing to be sure. He chugged it down like a dying man. Standing with a groan, he wandered through the apartment looking for the restroom.

He stumbled around, head only slightly pounding. Each door was a disappointment. Closet, no. Office, no. Bedroom… you were still asleep. Arms curled around a pillow, and hair delightfully messy. He could have watched you all morning if not for the fact he was about to piss himself.

“(Y/N)?” He touched your shoulder with a nudge. You whimpered before cracking open an eye. You were obviously not a morning person.

“Jud? E’rythung a‘rght?” You mumbled before sitting up, the blanket pooling at your hips.

“Yeah—um, where’s your bathroom?” He felt awkward disturbing your sleep. You pointed to the corner of the room, the bathroom next to your closet. He nodded before scurrying away.

You were still sitting up when he returned. Jud headed to the door until you grunted. He looked over, and you smacked the bed beside you. He came and sat down. Grabby hands reached over, taking hold of his arms.

“Stay?” You weren’t forceful; the pull on his limbs was only suggesting. Jud nodded, letting you manipulate his limps. His arms were now tucked around your body, wriggling in them to get comfortable. You hummed, content, falling asleep almost instantly. He took a deep inhale at the top of your head, his shoulders finally relaxing. Jud wasn’t far along behind you.

But when he woke up, hands searching around him, he was alone. The warmth of your body was long gone. A new feeling swam in his lungs—disappointment, but also… fear. He lay there, letting himself think.

This was bad.

Before, he could use drinking as an excuse. Even the depression that had been chipping away at him would be considered reasonable, ya know? Seeking companionship was a normal reaction to that sort of thing.

But now he couldn’t use those same justifications for this. Because right now he was sober. He was happy. And in this moment he wanted nothing more than to have you in his arms again in every way, shape, or form.

This was getting out of control. And he was scared.

—

If you noticed him being extra quiet, it wasn’t mentioned. He had gotten up to find you back in the living room, this time with lunch DoorDashed and waiting. Both of you ate mostly in silence. You, probably nonverbal from the hangover. Him? A slow-building freak-out shimmering under the surface.

After finishing, you told him about your plans for the day. The last of your things were being dropped off soon, so you should get him home. He was thankful for the small mercy. Maybe God was taking pity on him.

You parked outside of the rectory, a closed-lipped grin fixed on your face. “I’ll text you later?” He gave you a quick nod before leaping from the car. Again, you said nothing to indicate you noticed.

Jud slid down the door once it was closed and he could hear you driving away. He sighed, shoulders falling forward, face buried in his hands.

“God help me.”

He reached out to Bishop Langstrom for guidance; the older man said he’d be free to visit Tuesday. It couldn’t come fast enough.

“Jud, it's good to see you.” The man clapped his hand in a familiar shake. Jud already felt the edge of his nervousness slipping away.

“You too, thank you for making the trip to see me.” Langstrom waved a hand.

“Of course, with everything going on—I imagine I’ll be needed around here more often in the next few months. Cleaning up this mess will be a lot just for one person, so feel free any time you need.” Jud couldn’t help his grimace.

“Actually, Father, I asked you to come for… personal guidance. If that’s ok?” Langstrom only nodded, following him into the living room.

“The offer for that is always there. You should know that. What seems to be worrying you?” Both sat down, Jud immediately rubbing a hand down his face.

“Bishop, I’m struggling with… temptation? O-of… of breaking my vows.” Langstrom slapped his knee with a chuckle but quickly changed his demeanor once he took in the look on his face.

“Oh, Jud.” The man sat back, not really knowing where to start. Jud didn’t let him.

“I know what we do, why we even have our vows… My relationship with God is everything to me,” he twisted his hands together.

“And yeah, these last few weeks have been the hardest I’ve known… and I always go back to Him! But—but recently I’ve had other… support come into my life.” And you were, truly. Through the short amount of time knowing you, you were becoming something very precious to Jud. And that’s what scared him the most.

He looked down, “It’s becoming hard. Hard to know where that line is. Even harder to know why I shouldn’t cross it—”

“Jud,” Langtrom interrupted him, hand reaching out to his shoulder, “cross it.” His head whipped up, bafflement evident.

“Wha?” he stammered. Langstrom let out a half-amused sigh, face unreadable.

“I’ll be honest with you, Jud. I’m more shocked to find out you haven’t tested those waters yet rather than you’re just now having an issue. How long has it been since you’ve taken your vows?”

“Th-three years—wait, what do you mean by haven’t yet?” Langstrom shook his head.

“Damn, you’ve lasted longer than I did…” Jud’s eyes were like saucers. He straightened his posture, mouth still agape.

“Las—” Langstrom held up a hand, hushing him.

“Son, let me ask you something. Since this… support started, have you had any doubts? Any moments of concern that have tested your faith? Your reason for your duty?” Jud was silent. Langstrom smiled. Had he? Was all of this frustration and fear coming from a moment of religious crisis? Or was it a crisis of something else? He had no answer for that.

“From that reaction, I’d say no…” He still stared at his hands. Langstrom could still feel the conflicting emotions coming off of him in waves.

“Jud,” he looked up to meet the bishop’s eyes.

“Our paths to God aren’t linear. We aren’t machines coded to do a simple task… We work with souls, with life. We wouldn’t be good at our jobs if we didn’t experience it first-hand…” Jud let out a sad chuckle. Life. Of course.

“She gives me that. Life… With all of this death—I… I was starting to lose it.” His voice was almost a whisper, as if saying it out loud would cause some kind of physical harm.

“God is funny like that, offers us mercy in ways we might not want or expect…” Bishop Langstrom’s words struck a chord. The laugh that rumbled out of him was only slightly hollow.

“Sounds like she might be that for you.” Jud felt a cool air wash over him, a comforting hand to his psyche—pulling away the weight he had put on himself. Oasis and mercy. Oh, how bitterly ironic this must all seem.

“Thank you, Bishop.” The man’s shoulders were noticeably relaxed.

“But a warning… if you pursue this support. Please be—”

“Discrete?” he interrupted with a smirk.

“Cautious, more like. Things like this can be a slippery slope, Jud. Wouldn’t want to see another good priest fall through the cracks.” He nodded. The message was heavy, and with it brought reinforced nervousness.

–

Bishop Langstrom’s visit gave him clarity, but also more questions. He wanted to linger on them, but was interrupted by a phone call.

“Father Jud! How ya been?” Benoit’s drawl was heavy with cheerful optimism.

“Blanc, it's great to hear from you. I just had a visit with Langstrom. I’m doing good.” He hoped his tone was clear, no indication of the settling turmoil that still ghosted his thoughts.

“Lovely! My darling (Y/N) was just telling me about your night out!” Jud swallowed, pulse rising.

“Oh yeah! I-it was fun.” He winced at the stutter. Blanc only chuckled.

“Hope not too much; she can be a lot sometimes. Takes after me that way, I suppose.” Jud grinned to himself, imagining a younger Blanc partying in seedy bars. That would be a sight.

“No, no, not at all. I.. I really enjoyed getting out. It was a good distraction.” The detective hummed.

“Wonderful. Now, don’t be a stranger—and don’t let my (Y/N) give you a hard time!” He ended the call, leaving Jud to rake his hand through his hair.

“Hard is one way to describe it.”

You were giving him space, he thinks. The surface-level texts were his only hunch to go off of. He was thankful for it. He needed some time to think over what Langstrom and him had discussed.

He wasn’t an idiot. Or maybe he was for how surprised he’d been at the bishop's implied relations. But still, he knew that it happened. Even you had made the comment that night at the bar. Hell, that’s why Cy Draven was up his ass every few weeks—Wicks’ crossing of the line given form. But still, Langstrom's warning rang in his ear. Slippery slope. Was that what this was turning into?

Were you a temptation that would cause him to fall from Christ? Or were you the only reprieve from the shit he had endured at the hands of others? He lay in bed that night, flopping back and forth with indecision. God loved him before and after sin; that’s why he felt the call to priesthood in the first place. So why would this be any different? He sighed, pulling out his phone and looking at his texts.

You had sent him photos once in a while; the most recent one was his favorite. Your eyes were so bright, cheeks round and dimpled from smiling. “Found my new dessert fix, and the park is just next door!” He looked up at the ceiling.

He liked you; that he couldn’t deny. But couldn’t it stay platonic? This wasn’t the first time since his vows he’d been attracted to someone. But this was the first time he wanted to act on it, and knew painfully that you did too. But then he remembered your words. Hesitation… You were the one to pull back. You knew he would be conflicted. You were being a good friend.

Friends. You were friends! Jud could keep this slice of life without compromising himself. Just keep things platonic, completely PG. The image of you pressed against him, your breath in his ear, how soft you felt under his fingers, flashed in his mind.

Yeah, totally doable.

–

Jud sent you a text, something simple, just to see what you were up to. His phone immediately started ringing.

“Jud! I’ve been meaning to call—listen, I have an event coming up for work. Would you be interested in joining? I know you’ve been busy—” You were slightly out of breath. The sound of something heavy hitting the ground confirmed why.

“Oh, um, sure? What’s going on?”

–

That's how he found himself in an uncomfortably expensive three-piece suit, now standing in front of a tall mirror as you fiddled with his tie.

“This seems excessive…” he mumbled. You huffed, getting frustrated with the fabric.

“Nooo. This is a fundraiser with bougie board members, this is the bare minimum.” He couldn’t help but smile as you bit your tongue in concentration. He put a hand on yours.

“Here, let me. It’s been a minute, but I have tied a tie before.” You grumbled defeat and faced the mirror.

“Well, not me, clearly. I tend to avoid these things out of principle but my boss wasn’t having it.” You leaned on him for support, putting on your heels. As you stood, they disappeared under the length of your gown. It was a silk number that hugged the soft curve of your stomach and thighs sinfully. Jud shifted on his feet.

“Not a fan of rich people functions?” You barked out a laugh at that, eyes rolling dramatically. He fixed his tie quickly.

“You don’t know the half of it.” There was a bite to that statement that piqued his curiosity. But you didn’t give him a moment to ask.

“Let’s go, Father. The fat cats be waitin’!” Now he rolled his eyes, following you out the door.

–

“What did you say your job was again?” The building of the event was old, and the gala-like display of cars put him slightly on edge. You turned the car into the drop-off line.

“Nothing as glamorous as this implies. I work for a museum in collection care. Grunt worker, really. But my director wasn’t taking no for an answer about having me come.” He nodded, watching the people get out of their cars. All dressed like old money.

“I’m gonna stick out like a sore thumb…” He felt his stomach twist.

“And that’s why I brought you. You’ll be more obvious than me.” You smiled, poking his side. He only looked at you flabbergasted.

“And also because I need someone to keep me from drowning myself in the punch bowl.”

–

Your suggestion started to sound appealing by the time Jud had his fifth conversation about someone’s family name and who was married to who. You had left, saying you’d be back soon, but now he was sweating through his first layer. Panic setting in. Jud’s head whipped around, desperate to spot you in the sea of people. He jumped at the feeling of a hand on the small of his back. Turning around, he was beyond relieved to see you, but your face was less than thrilled. A slight frown pulled at your lips.

“Come with me. I need some air.”

You ended up on an unoccupied balcony. You leaned against the stone column—enjoying the cold surface against your skin. Jud kicked at a stray leaf that had fallen from the nearby flowers. When he looked over at you, he noticed how unnervingly blank your face was.

“You ok? Do I need to hide the punch bowl?” You snorted, head tilting back and exposing your neck. He had to look away to keep from staring at you.

“Honestly might. God, I hate these people. But only a few more to talk to and we can head out.” He nodded, freezing when he felt you come up beside him. You reached over, tucking your arm in his.

“Thank you for putting up with this. I don’t think I could have done it alone.” He looked over to you, your normally light and flirtatious tone replaced by something heavy. There was more than frustration behind your eyes… sadness? Melancholy? He couldn’t pinpoint it.

“Hey, don’t mention it.” He put his hand in yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. Jud ignored how nice you felt pressed against him.

–

When you got to your apartment, he was more than ready to get out of his suit. You had only stayed for 30 minutes before you couldn’t take anymore.

“They are so out of touch with reality, it’s ridiculous!” You huffed, plopping on the couch dramatically. Jud joined you, pulling your feet into his lap. You smiled at him, putting a heel on his chest. He took the hint, undoing the straps of your shoes as you leaned back. Looking down to pull it off, Jud noticed scars marking your skin.

His hands stilled.

From the bottom of your feet to the middle of your calf were healed burns—pretty old ones, from the looks of it. You felt him pause and looked down, realizing why.

“I don’t remember it, if that’s what you’re wondering…” Your voice was a whisper. Jud glanced up at you with his worried eyes. He examined them, rough fingers grazing up your skin gently.

“What happened?” His touch sent shivers through you, goosebumps rising under the soft caress. You tilted your head back against the arm of the couch again, letting your body go limp.

You didn’t say anything for a while, just letting yourself enjoy having the tight material be pulled off by gentle hands. You sighed before shifting to the side, reaching out for your clutch to pull out a lighter and cigarettes. Jud watched, not daring to interrupt the moment. After a drag, you returned his eye contact with an intensity that startled him.

“When Dad was twenty-eight?—nine? He got a case about a house fire… Young couple—dead. Husband from an affluent family, but wife was a no-name—a real rags-to-riches love story…” You tossed the lighter on the table with a loud clank.

“And their only child… a toddler, who survived and was talking about boogeymen. Cliché, I know, but it interested him enough to take it.” You grabbed an ashtray off the table. Jud was at a loss for words. You smiled half-heartedly at his stunned expression before resuming your tale.

“Like I said, I don’t really remember much. I was only three, but apparently they were sweet people… Anyway—” you cleared your throat, knocking off some ash. The glow from the lit cigarette brightened as you took another puff. After Jud had set down the heels, his hands returned to your feet, massaging them as you continued.

“Dad immediately attached himself to the kid. Figured out that the boogeymen were actually hired arsonists. Turns out, the husband had inherited an extremely large family fortune. And his brother, who was, as you can guess, next in line, took objection to t-that.” You stuttered a groan as Jud’s fingers applied pressure to a sensitive spot in your foot. He just watched you, devoted attention at every word.

“When he found enough evidence outside weak testimony from a toddler, they were able to arrest the brother. But now the kid was an orphan, one that was set to get a whole lotta money. From a family with a history of trying to kill for it.” Jud had been connecting the dots as you spoke. The low-paying job but nice car. The burned photo of a couple that he now realized shared your features. Your attitude all night being around those pompous assholes…

The way you lived fully and honestly, like any day could be your last—cause it almost had been. God, you had just been a baby at the time.

When you had spoken about life and death in his kitchen, even at the bar, there was something so hauntingly true to how you expressed it. He felt gutted to now know the reason why.

You must have noticed the sadness in his eyes. You shook your head at him, giving him a reassuring smile before speaking again.

“While working the case, Dad fell in love with the kid. She clung to him and only him the whole time—crying whenever he wasn’t near.” You let out a little laugh. Jud loved that sound.

“Him and Papa had been together for about five years at that point. They had talked about adopting… Life is funny like that, huh?” Jud nodded, his hands moving up to your calves. You melted into the firm kneading on your flesh.

“Lord works in mysterious ways…” You only hummed in response. Tension in your body slowly slipped away from the calloused touch on your skin.

“To protect her, Dad petitioned the court to seal off the inheritance until the child was of age. Putting in stipulations that whomever were to become her guardian wouldn’t be able to touch the money. And that if something like, I don’t know, unforeseen death were to happen—the money would all be donated to charity… effectively making it so that no one would get a single penny if they took me.” Your smile was so genuine. He knew that the next time he saw Blanc, it was going to take some restraint to keep from giving him a lung-crushing hug.

“He saved me from them again.” Jud scooted up the couch, pulling your legs over him so that your thighs were draped over his lap. He reached out a hand, grabbing yours and bringing it to his lips. You tilted your head, studying him. Jud felt like he was being analyzed, your eyes picking him apart piece by piece. Eventually, you looked away.

“When Dad brought me home, he hadn’t said anything to Papa. Apparently it was hallmark-quality stuff… Now that I was essentially worthless, it wasn’t difficult for him to get custody of me.” You glanced back at him, face now somber.

“You’re far from worthless…” His voice had dropped, lips returning to the top of your hand. He wanted to trail it higher. Move leisurely up your arm, as if he had all the time in the world. Enjoy the scent of your skin. But that wouldn’t be platonic, would it?

“You’re everything to them, (Y/N).” You stared at him before placing your forgotten cigarette on the table next to you. Turning to him, you placed both of your hands on his cheeks, leaning back into his space. Jud couldn’t scoot any closer without climbing between your legs—something he pretended not to consider.

He pressed against the palms cradling him. They smelled like your perfume. Something sweet… tangy, like honey or fig. It made his mouth water. You were just watching him. He couldn’t tell what you were thinking. Your eyes were tracing his skin. But something felt off. There was a weight there. Did you doubt him?

“And to you, Father?” His lungs squeezed, heart fluttering uncontrollably between his ribs. Your voice felt like velvet. Jud’s eyes left yours, dipping down to your lips. Your pink tongue peeked out, parting them slightly. His throat was so fucking dry. All his thoughts were far from that of what constitutes as platonic.

You were a river, coursing through his veins. Water nourishing his heat-scorched earth, bringing back life to his roots. Ones that had almost shriveled up into dust from the drought that threatened to consume him.

But he would not drink.

“A really good friend.”

The look you gave him was full of pity.

-

Before, you had given him space. Now? Now you wouldn’t leave him alone, and it was driving him crazy. From the outside looking in, you would think that Jud was doing great for the first time since the Wicks catastrophe had started. You had made yourself a fixture in his schedule. Helping with scheduling meetings, even making connections on his behalf. Really you had become his personal PR, and with everything that happened- it was a true blessing.

He hated it.

You were always around, in his space, never giving him a moment that wasn’t filled with you. Sure you had a job, but as soon as you were free, you were at the rectory- checking on him like a mother hen. Like a really good friend…

Jud was going to lose his mind. And still, you were nothing but nice. Any time you shared space you kept your distance. Lingering touches now replaced by reasonable platonic hugs. As soon as he’d start melting into the hold, you'd be pulling away.

And he could smell you everywhere. Once you were gone, driving away in your cherry car, he’d think he would finally get a break. But it was like you still hovered around him, a seductive whisper of pure sin. That honeyed tang that had him acting like a dog in heat.

Jud knew you were doing this on purpose, but if he confronted you- he’d also be admitting that this thing you had… the growing fire that had him whimpering your name in the deep of sleep… was not friendship.

Weeks went by of this, he didn’t know how much more he could take.

Then Benoit Blanc showed up. And all hell broke loose.

–

“Blanc! What a surprise.” Jud had opened the door expecting only you. But you were behind your dad, giving him a small wave. Benoit pulled the priest into a tight hug. He noticed a man approaching from the car, knowing immediately it was Phillip.

“Sorry for coming unannounced, we were visiting and I wanted to say hello!" Blanc stepped back.

“This is Phillip.” The man in question reached out to grab Jud’s waiting hand, giving it a firm shake.

“Lovely meeting you, I’m sure our darling lamb has told you all sorts about me.” Phillip was charming in a different way than Blanc. He was soft spoken, a complement to his posh accent. He felt approachable, a contrast to Benoit’s strong demeanor. No wonder they balanced each other out.

“All good things, I promise. Come in, please!”

–

Both men had settled in the living room, you joining Jud in the kitchen to make coffee and tea. Since arriving you have been extra quiet. It made him nervous.

“Everything alright?” He said with a nudge of his elbow. You looked him up and down, eyes dark. Hungry.

“Of course Jud, never been better.” Jud could feel his ears burning. Well shit…

–

Phillip had been going on about something at work. Jud couldn’t hear him over the sound of his own heart beat, now alarmingly fast. Amber was being subtle. Had he not made a point to glance in your direction- he would be none the wiser.

You were wearing a white button up blouse and simple knee-length skirt. Picture perfect professionalism. That is until you had opened the top slowly, revealing the curve of your breasts. Arms folded under to press them forward, plush flesh straining against the top. He might have been able to handle that had you not also shifted your crossed legs. The slit in the skirt now showcasing your smooth thighs. The new angle gave Jud a delicious flash of subtle skin. You were all curves as you leaned against the arm of the chair. He moved in his seat, trying to turn his body away from you and the temptation to stare.

It didn’t work.

Jud could feel himself getting warmer, rolling his sleeves up higher on his arms to cool him down. Benoit noticed, but made no comment.

“And it’s been a busy time now that we have a new head of the department.” Jud nodded, completely lost.

You shifted again, causing Jud to sneak another glance. Big mistake. You had taken the spoon from your tea, red lips wrapped around it teasingly- sucking off the sweet residue. He almost groaned at the sight. You grinned.

“Jud?” He whipped his head back to Phillip, who had apparently asked him a question.

“I- I’m sorry, what was that?” Benoit’s eyes looked between the two. Again, silent.

“Well I mentioned studying some theological texts, I wondered if you had come across them in your work to priesthood?” Jud nodded a little too quickly.

“R-right, um- I spent more of my time in service over study really. Prefer to work with my hands.” You hummed at that, sitting your empty cup down on the table.

“Trust me, I’ve seen him- he’s very talented.” Jud didn’t mind the thought of the floor opening up and swallowing him whole in that moment. Blanc’s eyes narrowed at his daughter.

“Oh really! What is it you do?” Phillip asked cheerfully. He really was a sweetheart.

“I-um light carpentry actually. I’ve been working on making a new crucifix for the church. Not finished yet but it's getting there.” Jud was nervously wringing his hands. Phillip just launched into another story, leaving him to glance back at you. He gave you a look saying what the hell are you doing? But pouted your lips innocently as if to say I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Blanc just watched you both, fingers tapping on the arm of his chair.

–

“Well Father, I think we’ve kept you long enough. Thank you for having us on such short notice.” Blanc stood, straightened his shirt.

Phillip joined him, as you picked up their empty cups to take to the kitchen. Jud walked them towards the door, giving Phillip a final shake of the hand before he headed out. Blanc purposely lingered, looking to make sure you were out of ear shot.

“Father Jud,” He whispered, coming closer to the man, “do feel free to dismiss my nosiness but I couldn’t help but notice you seemed a little… tense. Is there something you need to talk about?” He felt his cheeks warm.

“Oh I didn’t realize- Um no Blanc. I’m fine, really!” He knew the detective saw through his stumbling but was gracious enough to let him flounder in peace. The look he gave him was unmasked sympathy.

“Okay son, but do reach out if you need to chat.” Jud nodded, palm clapping his in a hurried shake. Blanc joined Phillip outside leaving him alone with you. Coming through,you stopped in front of Jud.

“I’ll be at Il Diavolos later. Around 9? I’d like to hang out longer.” Your voice was low, eyes racking over him. You stood on you tippy- toes, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before joining your parents outside. The contact tingled long after you left.

“Christ…”

If God had a hand in this, he sure had some humor. Jud was early, sipping on a whiskey in the well-worn vinyl booth of the bar. A little devil cherub figurine was staring at him from its spot by his table. It looked strangely similar to the one on his neck. Its little grin felt devious and judgmental. He tipped his glass back, practically chugging the liquor.

“Starting without me?” Your silky voice probed, causing him to cough.

“H-hey, no I um just got here- first glass.” You nodded, slinking in beside him. There were files and a notebook in your hand, which you quickly sat in front of them. Oh.

That wasn’t what he was expecting.

“Let me get mine, be back in a sec.” Pulling yourself from the booth, you waved down Nicholai. Jud’s shoulders relaxed, a slight disappointment bubbling in his chest. You just wanted to work.

When you came back, he had already been riffling through the papers.

“You’d think with a reputation for murder, people wouldn’t be so eager to ask for your help.” Now that you’d gone out to the community- in addition to Louise’s positive gossiping on his account- Jud’s handy man talents were becoming all the rage.

“I’m just glad to be of service. Any chance I get to help, I want to.” You gave him a warm smile.

“As always Jud, you continue to inspire goodness in me.” He wanted to return the sweet comment, but he hesitated. Was he really good if all his thoughts around you were less so? You nudged him, mouth pursed in concern.

“Hey, you ok?” He straightened, glancing around before finally looking at you head on.

“Are we gonna talk about earlier?” Your eyes widened for a second before you let out a little laugh.

“And what might that be about, Father?” You bent forward slightly, showing off your still visible cleavage. The hand that was on the table between you now lowered itself to the top of his thigh. He stilled.

“Amber..” You moved around some papers with the other, looking at one with feigned interest. All the while the palm on his thigh moved higher. Jud shivered.

“Hm? Sorry, I didn’t catch that. Did you say something?” You took a sip of your glass, red lipstick staining the rim and smudging the corner of your mouth. His hands clenched into fists on the table.

“Please…” It was a whisper. Your hand stopped, a hair’s breath away from where he wanted it most. You turned back to him, a hot giggle caressing his ear.

“Please… Stop? Please… Keep going? Be honest with me Jud, cause you sure as hell aren’t being it with yourself.” A pinky nail ran up the inseam of his trousers. Only the tiniest hint of pressure but it was enough to have him suck in a gasp. Your voice was both venom and seduction, luring him to his end.

La petite mort.

“Shit.” He gritted his teeth and faced forward. He sent a little prayer to Nicholai for what he was about to do before giving you a hooded look, pupils blown. The grin on your face was pure wickedness.

“There he is...” You purred, hand finally making contact with his growing hunger. You palmed him slowly, savoring his strained exhale. Jud’s knuckles were white, eyes focusing on the papers in front of him.

“As I was saying, the Dawson’s have some loose roof tiles. They wanted to know if you could come by Thursday?” His shoulders hunched, Jud was fully hard by this point. You were slowly working to free him from his pants.

“Y-yeah. I’ll come. Sure.” He squeaked out. You checked off the task with a pin with one hand, the other now wrapped firmly around him.

“I hope not too soon, big boy.” You murmured. With how touch starved and drunk he was off you, Jud really couldn’t promise anything. Your fingers explored the length of him, thumb coming to rest at the head of his weeping cock. He couldn’t remember the last time he was this turned on.

“And next week, the library has a summer program asking for volunteers.” He let a pathetic whimper in response, nodding quickly. Another thing marked off the list. You cleared your throat and threw up an unoccupied hand, catching Nicholai’s attention. Jud froze. You must have felt it but paid no mind. Hand now slowly pumped him under the table.

“Wh-what are you doing?” He stuttered, voice hushed. You just raised a brow at him, lips pouting in confusion.

“Asking for a menu, I’m getting a little hungry.” He groaned, part in frustration and part in reaction to the twist of your wrist you threw in at the tip of his length. The bartender came over, thankfully he was none the wiser. The table and controlled movements obscuring the obscenity happening in front of him.

“Hey mini Blanc! Father! Need something?” You leaned into the table, further shielding Jud's body but also showing attentive interest to Nicholai. Jud was too focused on keeping his face blank to pay attention to your words.

“Hi Nicky! Just wondering what’s cookin’ today. Anything good?” You slowed your hand to a snail’s pace, he struggled not to thrust up to keep the momentum. God help him.

“Oh well the missus added potato skins- everyone’s been tearing those up. We also got a killer broccoli cheddar soup.” You hummed, fingers tapping on the table in thought.

“Hm, let me think on it. What about you, Jud? Anything sound appealing?” He jerked, looking between the two now staring at him. He gave a shrug, lips pursed in disinterest.

“N-nah, had a big um lunch. But thanks.” You tightened your grip, making him lurch forward. Moan barely contained.

“Okie dokie. Just wave me over if you wanna put in an order.” He walked away. Jud immediately face planted on the table with a grunt.

“Christ (Y/N).” It came out a whisper. He raised his head to give you a pathetic glare.

“You’re doing so good Jud.” Your praise unraveled something deep in him. His bones turned into putty. Your smile told him you knew exactly the effect it had on him.

“Only a few more things on the list and we’re done, okay?” He wasn’t sure what that promised him but he nodded anyway. Jud let out a shaky exhale before leaning back. Your hand sped up.

“And speaking of libraries. Louise’s cousin Denise asked if you’d want to join their book club? It’s mostly nonfiction but they do occasionally dip into current trends. But nothing gory of course. I already asked.” His heart squeezed at that.

Even with the debaucherous nature of the little meeting, you were still doing shit like this. Things that reminded him of how much you meant to him. You were taking into consideration how squeamish he was, and for a damn bookclub no less. He wouldn’t be able to handle anything related to the trauma and horror he’d previously experienced. Going to the morgue with Blanc still haunted his dreams- he’d nearly vomited after they had left.

This made his face warm for a completely different reason.

“Yes, I-I’d really like that. Thank you.” The earnest smile you gave him made his stomach flip. Your dark eyes dipped down to his lips. What he wouldn’t give to be able to kiss you at that moment.

“Alright- now this one is a bit complicated.” Your movements had never stopped, and Jud could feel himself getting close. His cock twitched your hand, precum slicking the fingers.

“Mr. Greene from the hardware store is losing his eye sight- has been for some time. Apparently his tools are in a terrible state. His daughter Joyce has tried to get him to let someone help but he’s being stubborn. If you came by, you being your sweet self, he might come around… I think he needs a friend.”

“Yes yes whatever it is yes.” He rasped, not subtle at all. You stopped, hand gripping him firmly, effectively halting his building orgasm. He stuttered, a look of utter anguish on his face. You tutted him.

“Father, that isn’t a very attentive response. Try again.” The priest was a complete mess at this point. Jud ran a shaking hand over his face.

“Ok- I. I would want nothing more than to help Mr. Greene.” You smiled wide, slanting your body against his to whisper in his ear.

“Wonderful, and one more question… Do you know how to drive?” Jud’s face pinched in confusion.

“Y- yeah?”

–

That’s how he ended up behind the wheel of your car, now with its owner’s head bobbing in his lap.

“Shit.” He grunted, hands gripping the stirring wheel like a life-line.

At the bar, you had quickly and gently-as-you-could put him back into his pants and pulled them from the booth. After being forced into the driver’s seat, Jud couldn’t take it anymore. As soon as you joined him in the car, he was pulling you into a kiss. Rough hands tangling in your hair, you fingers exploring the front of his chest- like two teenagers unable to keep their hands to themselves.

The kiss was full of hunger. The pint up frustrations of touches, heated glances, and the desperate painful need of you finally had him at his breaking point. He moaned into you, the sound utterly debauched. You took his bottom lip into your mouth, biting it lightly.

Jud fell apart.

“Fucking hell.” He gasped against you, tongue diving into your parted lips. The highs of his drug-addled youth had no comparison to this. You whimpered at the exploring muscle, chasing it with equal excitement. His hand not in your hair slipped to your hip, fingers kneeling the plushness of your curves. You pulled back, palms pushing at his chest.

“You better start this car now before I climb over there and mount you.” Jud swallowed, mouth opening and closing quickly before his brain caught up with his hands.

“Right.”

And here they were, your warm lips wrapped around the head of his cock as he drove them quickly to the rectory. As soon as he’d pulled out of the parking spot, you immediately swooped down into his lap. He almost came when he felt the hot breath against his stiff member.

“(Y/N) I-if you do that, I’m not sure how lon-“ he couldn’t finish the sentence. You had him brushing the back of your throat, grazing it as you moaned on the length. Lips stretched obscenely wide at its girth. You had your work cut out for you, Jud wasn’t small by any means. You hadn’t even gotten to the base yet before a weak gag vibrated against him deliciously.

“Fuuckk.” Now that you weren’t around an audience, Jud was free to let out all his pathetic whines. Mouth felt like velvet, your sinful throat had him reaching down to run his fingers into your hair. He was trying to be gentle but with a particularly strong suck he was pulling at your roots. You hummed around him.

Jud was going to faint.

“Ah shit.” The destination wasn’t that far of a drive, at this point it was only a few minutes away. He wasn’t going to last much longer than that. You must have noticed, your movements getting faster. Gravel under the tires was your only sign that you’d arrived.

You didn’t stop.

Moving your hands, you cradled his balls with one and stroked what you couldn’t fit in your mouth with the other. The fingers in your hair tightened again, and with that you let out a loud moan. That’s all it took to send him over the edge. The whimper of your name was almost inaudible, his hips lifting to meet you waiting mouth. You worked him through it, movements slow as the last tremors left his body.

Your lips came off him with a wet pop, grinning mouth rising to face him. Your red lipstick was completely ruined, drool coating your chin. You were panting, heavy amused little noises escaping with each heaving exhale. Tears coated your lashes, eyes hooded with lust. You leaned against him, bringing your sleeve up to clean the mess he’d made of your mouth. Jud reached over, hand holding a cheek.

“So pretty.” The warm hue to your skin deepened. Somehow, even after sucking the soul from him, you seemed bashful. A look in your eyes now filled with something too close to love. You cleared your throat, gaze shifting back to hunger.

“Go inside?”

You didn’t get very far, Jud had his lips on yours as soon as the door closed behind you. He could still taste himself on your tongue, he drowned in it. He stumbled to the couch, your back hitting it with a soft thud. He chased after you, attaching his mouth to your neck. His large hands seeking, searching, feeling all of you without restraint. You keened at the callus fingers pawing at you desperately.

Thumb and forefinger hooked around the button at your cleavage. You arched, pushing up to meet him. Jud quickened his movements, opening your shirt eagerly. He shifted his attention to your bra, removing it with equal speed. His lips moved from your neck, your fingers running through his short curls.

Chest now free and open to him, he trailed kisses down- savoring the taste of your skin. He groaned, fingers tracing the curve of your hips and stomach. Your softness was a startling contrast to his rough hands. You moaned when his mouth latched onto a nipple.

“Jud.” Your breathless whisper urged him on. He pulled away from your warmth and the couch, moving so that he was now standing in front of you. He fell to his knees, pulling you around so your hips were now at the edge. Your flush chest rose and fell faster.

He slipped his fingers up your thighs, going up and pulling at the top of your skirt. Lips parted, you shifted to help him remove it along with your soaked underwear. Now you were completely naked with the fully clothed priest kneeling between your legs.

The perfect image of debauched prayer.

Jud peppered sweet kisses at your knees, his facial hair grazing your skin as he moved to your inner thighs. His broad shoulders had your legs spread wide to accommodate him, exposing your center to his ravenous eyes. Jud couldn’t help the whimper that slipped out. He was a breath away from your glistening folds, the scent of you sweet and heady.

Jud dove in, hands holding your hips as he pulled you to his face. He moaned at the first swipe of his tongue.

“Christ.” You gasped, his hungry need to taste you had him worshiping your cunt. Licking from the weeping entrance to your throbbing clit with a fevered devotion. Jud was already hard again. Your hand was back in his hair, encouraging pressure to bring him closer into your center. His firm grip on your hips kept you from rutting up against his ravenous mouth. He nosed against your bundle of nerves as his tongue pushed further into you, chasing the taste of your excitement. You tightened your grip.

“Yes baby, fuck that’s it. So good Jud.” He mewled at the praise, peering up at your dark eyes. The look you gave him made the priest’s cock twitch. Like a wolf to the lamb, Jud was completely at your mercy.

And it was everything he needed.

He was tired of the struggle, the complete lack of power- something that had been weighing on him since arriving at Our Lady of Perpetual Fortitude. But now, instead of being caged in the claws of a wicked man by force, he willingly offered himself to the kiss of sharp teeth now nuzzling his neck. You would completely consume him, and he welcomed your seductive maw gladly.

“Fucking perfect.” He moaned against your mound, tightened his hold on your hips. You squirmed, chasing the feeling of the thick probing muscle. He removed one hand, bringing it to your aching clit, testing the pressure. You let out a twinkling whine, raising your leg to drape it over Jud’s shoulder. He removed the last hand on your hip, now freeing your movement, letting you crowd him between your hips. A foot now pressing into his back, coaxing. Soft thighs squeezing against his ears with a delicious pressure.

His personal heaven.

Jud shifted his focus. Licking back up to your clit, he suckled at the throbbing bundle of nerves as his hand slipped down to your clenching cunt. Your body eagerly welcomed his long dexterous fingers. Curling two inside, the rough pads of his digits caressing your spongy walls. That earned him a tight squeeze of your thighs, securing him firmly in place.

As if he’d want to be anywhere else.

“Jud-Jud!” He could feel you getting close, his cock aching in anticipation. You thrust against his face, nails scrapping his scalp. Jud couldn’t help the little whine he murmured against your clit, hips rutting against nothing. The added vibrations sent you over the edge, a throaty scream muffled by the tightly clamped legs surrounding him. Your walls fluttered around his fingers, but Jud only pressed harder against them to enjoy the sounds it pulled from her. Only once your limps released their hold did he stop, looking back up at you with a sloppy grin.

Your body felt like liquid, your smile blissful. Jud gave your cunt a lazy indulgent taste before you pulled him by the hair. He rose slowly, trailing kisses back up your stomach. He took his time, savoring the salty sweat of your skin. Your hand pet his hair, content sighs slipping from your lips. Once he reached your mouth, you were pulling him against you. The weight of his body perfect. His clothed hard length pressed into you with growing interest. Your amused laugh was quickly swallowed as he deepened the kiss. Before, it was frantic. Starved. But now? The way his lips molded into yours, taking your face in his hands with awed adoration? It was slow and filled with emotion he couldn’t put into words. You sat up from the couch, hands at his chest.

“Could we maybe go to your room?” Jud nodded, pulling you with him as he stood. His lips still sought the warmth of your neck as he followed you up the stairs.

A month after the case closed, Jud had decided to change rooms. Partially due to the other guest room having a full bed. But also because it felt like he deserved it considering Wicks had purposely assigned him a cot to be a dick. Right now, he was very thankful for the upgrade.

You climbed on the bed, sitting on your knees as you watched Jud hurriedly remove his clothes. He took extra care with his collar, sitting on the nightstand. Once bare, you curled a finger at him to come. He obeyed, climbing to join you. He captured your lips again, arms wrapping around you as he laid you down. Your legs immediately hooked around him, his cock now nestled against your wet heat. Jud shivered.

“Hell...” He whispered. Your laugh was stiff.

“Mm, not too far off.” Jud stopped, pulling back to look into your eyes. They were stormy, you tried to look away but he noticed the conflict there. He reached a hand up, gently pulling your chin back to face him.

“Hey… Hey.” He wasn’t loud, voice almost pleading. You caved in, returning to his dark blue gaze. Silence.

“What’s going on in there?” He tapped a finger to your temple. The small smile you gave him didn’t meet your eyes.

“Jud, we both know what this is to you. I’m not delusional- it's ok! Honest.” His brows furrowed, mouth deepening into a frown.

“(Y/N), I… Shit.” He rested his head on your chest, he could hear your rising heart beat.

“I-I’m sorry, we can stop-” You quickly mumbled. But when he looked up at you, you froze. His eyes were full of tears. You panicked, hands coming up to hold his face.

“Oh God Jud. It’s ok, I-” He shook his head with a broken laugh.

“God (Y/N) I fucking love you. Don’t you see?” Your eyes widened, lips parting in shock. He leaned against the hand on his face, another chuckle bubbling from his chest. He closed his eyes, the tears dampening his cheeks.

“You aren’t some sin. Some- dirty secret I’m going to try and forget… You are everything.” He felt your fingers brushing away the streaks on his skin. When he opened his eyes, you were looking at him with heartbreaking tenderness.

“Jud-” He leaned in to cut you off, stealing a kiss before continuing.

“I- I know I can’t give you what you deserve, I will always be who I am. But (Y/N)... I love you, for whatever that is worth.” He’d never leave his calling, and he knew you’d never ask him to. But what life you gave to him, he couldn’t do the same.

It broke him.

But you just smiled, kissing his wet cheeks.

“I’m-,” you laughed, the sound brittle with emotion, “I don't want a normal life, Jud. Marriage? Kids? None of that was ever my plan... I just want you.” His eyes turned sad, voice barely a whisper.

“A lot of me is broken.” You were healing cracks in him he’d never thought would mend. But some things were still splintered. Jagged fragments that would never be the same. You tilted your head, thumb caressing his face affectionately.

“Give me those pieces you hide. I’ll hold those shards tighter, even if they cut me- they’re still you… I-I love you Jud Duplenticy.”

Jud crashed his lips against yours. You returned the kiss with equal passion. His arms slipped around your waist, pulling you flush to him. You whined, hands pulling at his hair as your hips lifted up to meet him. It only took a few thrusts before his cock was twitching again, rock hard against you. You reached down, grasping it firmly before sliding it along your folds. The thick head bumping into your aching clit beautifully.

“Jud, please.” He moaned, face slotting into the crook of your neck. His hand replaced yours, enjoying the sleek glide of your wet cunt. He notched himself at your entrance, his girth stretching you slowly. You choked at the feeling. Jud paused, taking measured breaths.

“So fucking tight.” Amber let out an amused moan, hand coming up to grip at the back of his neck. You tilted your hips to take more, Jud whimpered. He eased forward again, sinking into the velvet heat. Little mewls slipped out of your lips, the sound alone made him shudder. You were soaked, walls clenching around him delightfully. Finally his pelvis was flush to yours.

Jud leaned back to look at you stretched around the base of him, drenched folds parted and exposed. You were panting, chest and cheeks dark. Completely debauched and breathtakingly beautiful.

“You’re gonna be the death of me.” You bit a lip with a smirk before wiggling your hips. Jud let out a groan, falling back down above you. You laughed, bringing your legs around his waist again. He pulled out half-way, moaning at the feeling of you trying to pull him back in. You didn’t fare much better, a sob escaping your lips. His thrusts were slow at first, your muscles relaxing to adjust to the size of him.

“So deep. So good-.” Your hands clawed at his back, enjoying the burning stretch. Jud slipped a hand down, thumb pressing right above you clit- pulling at the hood with every thrust. You shook, hips snapping up at the sensation. Your cunt clamped down on him. Jud choked a moan against your shoulder, increasing his movements.

“Perfect, baby.” He sighed, your praise melting his bones. A delicious warmth spread through him. His lips found yours, Jud whined against your tongue. You gasped at a particularly hard thrust, the blunt head of his cock kissing your cervix.

“Yes! Fuck, there. Just like that!” He repeated the motion, panting when you fluttered around him.

“(Y/N).” He was snapping his hips into you, the thighs around his waist tightening. He rested his forehead against yours, his breaths coming out in huffs. You cupped his cheek, thumb tracing his open mouth. Jud’s lips wrapped around the digit, whimpering desperately.

“So good for me.” His eyes were round and glossy. The warm feeling now spreading down his chest. You could see the drunk hazy on his blissed out face. All the while, his length pummeled your stretched cunt. The narrow heat of you was overwhelming. Jud shifted a hand back to pull at your leg, bringing it up to hook on his shoulder and deepening the angle of his thrust.

“Fuck fuck. Thank you, so perfect.” He mumbled, lost in the feeling. Your pussy was divine, grip vice-like as you edged closer to your own climax. Jud was a babbling mess. The veins of his cock throbbed, precum further slicking the delicious slide.

“My good boy, give me all you’ve got. Fucking ruin me, baby.” What little control he had left dissolved, a broken sob left him. Your surprised squeal sounded like bells, Jud now pinning both your legs against your chest. Folding you in half.

He didn’t hold back.

Punched out huffs, your fingers reaching out grip the blankets around you- Jud fucked you with wild abandon. The ravenous, punishing thrusts of his fat cock were followed by his stuttered muttering.

“Yes, yes, so fucking tight. Perfect pussy, all mine, please.” He chanted, rambling between grunts. Jud thanked you, begged, worshiping your body as a gift from God. Singing prayers in your name. You clenched at the attention, pulling choked sobs from his lips. You were close, he could hear it in your high pitched moans.

“Please, please. Give it to me, baby.” He pleaded, grinding his hips against yours. You reached down, fingers finding you clit with haste. It didn’t take much before your mouth opened in a silent scream, walls clamping down hard. Jud’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. But he fucked you through it, reveling in the divine pulse of you around him. Coming down from your high, you reached over to the hand holding your legs, fingers curling into his.

“Gonna cum for me Jud?” He nodded, hips starting to falter. His blue puppy dog eyes wide with adoration.

“W-where?” He whimpered, struggling. You smiled, biting your bottom lip.

“Inside, fill me up baby.” He dropped his hold on you, sinking down so that you were face to face. Jud shuddered, diving in to capture your lips. Balls drawing up, his orgasm finally rocking his body. He whined into your open mouth. Wave after wave of his hot cum pumped deep into you, little tremors shaking his shoulders.

Jud’s boneless body finally gave out. You held him in your hands, enjoying the feeling of him slumped against you- cock still buried to the hilt. Your fingers ran through his short curls, caressing him.

“Y’okay?” You whispered, voice deep. Jud hummed, laying his cheek against your breast. Chest rising and falling slowly. He went to move. You were probably uncomfortable with the weight of him crushing you, but you stopped him. The hand in his hair keeping him flush with your skin.

“No rush, Jud. We have all the time in the world.” The last of the tension left him, a small hiccup slipped out. He hid his face between your breasts. Small tears dampened your skin. He apologized, muffled against them. You hushed him, stroking the back of his head.

“Don’t, baby. Let it out, it’s ok.” He relaxed, letting himself melt into the hold. Jud couldn’t put it into words, just an overwhelming swell of feeling overcame him. Pure peace. When his breathing calmed down, he shifted to rest his chin against your sternum. You were watching him.

“Thank you for finding me.” His voice was heavy with sleep. Your hands traced the features of his face, like you were mapping it out for memory.

“Thank you for letting yourself be found.” He leaned into the touch, eyes closing. But then they snapped open, alarmed. His cock was soft now, your mixed cum slipping from your connected bodies.

Shit.

“Hey uh, I um.. You. We-we didn’t use protection.” The rising panic in his eyes was obvious. You threw your head back with a laugh, patting his cheeks playfully.

“Jud, calm down. It’s ok, I’m sterile.” You said it so matter-of-factly, but his brows only creased in confusion.

“Sterile, as in like- sterile sterile?” You nodded, tilting your head with a smile.

“Yes sweetie, sterile sterile. I got it done years ago. Like I said, I don’t want kids.” His mouth opened and closed, not sure how to respond.

“I- with what happened to me, my birth parents. It's not something I wanted to risk for another child…” There wasn’t any sadness in your eyes, but Jud couldn’t help his worried face. You flicked him on the nose.

“Hey!” He whined.

“Jud- I meant what I said. This? This is exactly where I want to be.” Your voice was soft, he inched forward to kiss you. Chasing the taste of your honeyed words.

Today was the meeting with Cy Draven, both Blanc and Bishop Langstrom had made the trip for the obnoxious shit show.

“Any hint you’ve sold it, any big charity donations, you fix the roof, you upgrade your shitty communion wine, I will watch, I will audit, I will find out.” Cy was stumbling backwards towards his car. Jud just smiled, hands clasped at his back.

“I hope you come back to the church someday, Cy. Your real inheritance is in Christ.” He just scoffed, car speeding off. You came up behind the priest, shoulder bumping into him.

“God he’s such a-” Langstrom’s steps crunched against the gravel.

“-Little punk bitch.” You looked over, white teeth beaming at the bishop.

“I see why you like him.” Jud smirked, turning back towards the other man. You walked back over to your father, following him back into the rectory to leave the two of them alone. Langstrom waited until you were out of ear shot before elbowing Jud.

“So this is (Y/N), that support you might have mentioned?” His ears turned red, but his smile was honest, Jud didn’t try to hide the obvious affection he felt for you. The older man nodded.

“She seems good for you. Don’t fuck it up kid.” Jud shoved him playfully, rolling his eyes. But he paused, watching as you waved a hand at him from the window. Your pointer finger beckoning him to come inside. You mimed eating a sandwich, clearly telling him to join them for lunch. The young priest exhaled, shoulders relaxing.

“More than you could know.”

#{munch}

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#{munch}