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//I don’t normally post art on here, but...  //Based off this post. Enjoy. <3

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Leonard's Paedophilia - Some Thoughts

So,,, yeah under the cut since this can be some triggering stuff and talks just a LITTLE about trauma from sexual abuse so be warned (it mostly just is me talking about what I think happened and some results of me glancing at a few wiki pages)

So uh,,, I decided out of sheer boredom and hope to better understand Leonard's character to do some research into the causes of paedophilia and the overall theme seemed to be reduced gray matter and/or/because of injuries in the front and mid portion of the brain (I'm certain about the frontal part, though I might have to check again to see if it was the mid-portion or something else). Of course, there is also it stemming from trauma as well.

As for my thoughts on it I honestly just think that it was an unfortunate accident/genetic(?) thing,,, moreso accident bc y'all KNOW the shit in 1067 wasn't too great,, of course there are a VARIETY of different things you could do with this, but like,,, for the sake of remaining respectful and wanting to portray Leonard the best I can, this is what I came up with.

Childhood sexual abuse seemed to be a very prominent factor in the people themselves becoming paedophiles down the line, either as a "coping method" or a plain and simple trauma response. I honestly scraped this first for a variety of reasons, mostly that it didn't fit, like, at all,,, and just,,, while it is very real it’s tiring just seeing victims of sexual assault turning into the abusers themselves and nothing else Second biggest theory regarding the origins of paedophilia in adults was about head trauma as a child, especially under 6 years of age. the idea is that it messes up the temporal While I find this whole theory to be,,, nice???? Perhaps a bit more fitting (Especially to my own rped kind of Leonard, who is as close as I can make it but with a few extra hdcs and lore,,, like how I headcanoned him to be a complete and utter klutz as a child.). I always had liked the idea of a butterfly effect, and the thought of a small accident from childhood leading into far greater consequences in the future, but that’s also where my main issue with this arises. It’s nice, fitting for the character in both my RPed version and even canonically (My headcanons being based on canonical Leonard), but I wouldn’t say it’s fitting for the tone of the story. There’s one that wins out for that. Genetic inheritance/Unfortunate mutation. In a lot of Yoko Taro stories, it seems a lot of times characters are thrown into hopeless situations and either end up being corrupted and/or broken by them or, if they already are corrupted, worsening it by their own hands. Caim’s parents being killed was ultimately out of his hands, it ended up shattering him and in many cases his bloodlust is what drives the game forward by substantially ruining or not actively looking to fix the situation. Inuart never had the slightest idea Furiae would be chosen as goddess, but eventually the protectiveness that grew for her in this situation lead him to being used by the Empire. Just about every character in not just Drakengard, but the Drakenier series in general follows this sort of character-driven pattern, which is why I think the incident that was out-of-hands for Leonard was his own birth. Being born with issues in the frontal and center areas of the brain (That in a VERY small nutshell deals with reward systems, compulsivity, and serotonin levels), worsening that situation (The deaths of his brothers while he was out-you-know-what) and thus setting the plot forward is just,,, a very Drakengard-ish way of handling things. The reason for Leonard’s paedophilia is never stated in the game, or even any of the side materials (From what I’m aware of, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if there was something lmao) and I’m honestly glad for it, because not only can I feel selfishly proud it inadvertently proved my little theory/view of it (If you can even call it a theory), but it’s just that: There is no reason. Sometimes people are just born like that. It’s a hard truth, but Drakengard isn’t really the most pleasant of games and Leonard isn’t the most pleasant of characters. I love the character because of his controversy and his writing which really allowed me to just sit back and remember “Damn, I hate to admit it but like,,, even the worst kinds of people are human, and that makes them individuals with like,,, nuance and shit” ??? if that makes sense. All in all, I honestly think they did a great job writing Leonard’s character and keeping respectfulness and awareness at the forefront. While I would have liked to see it put a bit more boldly and have it explored more (Reminder: There was gonna be a LOT of shit about Leonard’s past and his whole deal from the sound of it. But only scenes unanimously approved by the board were allowed. WHAT FUCKING SCENES ABOUT HIS PAST GOT IN BESIDES THE INTRODUCTION???? is it a secret code I gotta put in the game settings???? 0723, right??? right??????), I can really understand they had both Yoko Taro and Takuya Iwasaki on a leash during the development of this game. maybe next time, folks. The story behind why he can stand on one foot for 24 hours, though, I’m free to make whatever shit up I want about that. and trust me, i have.

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Drakengard Cut Content Found - Leonard's intro scene

//So not too long ago, some cut Drakengard content was found and posted to the Drakengard subreddit by u/drakengarded (Their profile is linked under their user), it was a short cut clip from Leonard's intro scene! I immediately knew I had to share it with everyone here, so I asked them and they gave me permission to share the clip they made! They said they might be able to get back to me with a better clip, but as I see it, this is perfect as it is.

//In the original, when Leonard brings the knife up to his throat, the screen quickly cuts back to him collapsing to his hands and knees, unable to take his own life. But in the cut version, the tip of the knife is seen barely entering his throat before he falls, providing a clearer look into just how close he was before caving into his fear of death!! The aspect ratio is slightly changed to show the difference of the original scene from the cut content.

//Waaaaaa I'm really thankful to u/Drakengarded for sharing this huge discovery!! If anything, thankful wouldn't even begin to describe how I feel <3 I've been watching this nonstop, and have picked work back up on several projects specifically because of the inspiration this has given me!! I hope everyone else has found it as interesting as I have, and thanks so much to u/Drakengarded again for allowing me to share this with everyone here!! I'm so happy <3

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//So that essay I did. I ended up writing VERY VERY thinly veiled DOD fanfiction for the prompt which was basically “Write a first-person initiation into adulthood based off one of the stories in the textbook and a comparative essay between the two after” and so I ended up bullshitting the essay only reading the stories after I made the narrative lol i got a 96/100 anyways //I figured as it was about everyone’s favourite bilf of the bog that I’d post it here, but... //Reminder: This is my first time really solidly writing in first person since I was like nine, so it may be a bit rocky. First person is NOT my area of expertise lol //And ofc obvious trigger warnings for mentions of paedophilia and stuff (Nothing explicit though, of course!) //Enjoy!

“...And we’ll be married. You’ll see.” “I never saw you speak to each other.” “I said, you’ll see.”

So the banter had gone by so frequently then, and now stood I alongside his wife and his child, and mother on the other side, staring at the curves of his face and how it had thinned, still soft and child-like yet aged and grown in such a way none could have explained by any normal means. Perhaps, then, it was in the sight of those definitively unchanging eyes and how they gleamed the same way under the sun that had caught my attention, and in turn, his, and he turned to look back with some strange sadness that I had averted my gaze in some feeling between either abashedness or fear of any hint of understanding to be held. “...Why her?” “Her? Leonard, look at her.” “I do see her.” “Don’t you? You hardly even looked. Well…” “She… Is kind, isn’t she?” “Yes! And one day, I will make her my bride.” And so the village men had gone and lined up near the forest break on the army’s cart, the showing of the backs of their unnaturally cut hair settling an odd knot in the stomachs of I and who I was certain, the other few men who stayed behind. Orbas’s hair had been a similar length of the day I met him, so I had recalled, though the ends were splayed and framed that once pale neck in such a way that reminded me of the small leaves of a flaxen bush or perhaps a spring tree, though there was one small, favorite piece that strayed off the side of his face — His son, such a small child, had already inherited it — And so he had frequently kept tied and twined with the same strip of leather worn by men and women here. For Orbas, it was no more. I had thought to pick up his son at that moment; for his sake, his father’s sake, and as well my own. Near four and almost the same image as his father, that I had at times troubled myself in remembering his mother, and to see and grant his father’s own personal wishes of caring for that stray hair in his place (So as I had when we were mere boys), tying the silk strands in place, to have “him” so completely and totally reliant on me, it was comforting. The feel of the warmth from such a small body, held in my arms and placed against my own, the grip of small hands pulling against my cloak, was comforting. It was wish fulfillment, in a way. The circumstances in which we had met were entirely on Orbas’s own will. How he darted so confidently up to the smithing corner with frail legs that seemed ready to snap under his own weight, and I, feeble and feminine in mind as he was in body, having apparently gained some semblance leaning towards haughty self-bravado thought, ‘What does this mad fool think he’s doing? Who does he think he is?’ and was only further driven in such convictions when he spoke as if we had never once been strangers before. For Orbas, all it took was a single conversation —  And still, for all the good I’ve come to speak and feel for him, I think not once have I changed in my belief that he was completely mad that day in having tossed all pride aside to speak to the mollified mute of Atheren. 

He had dragged me from my crafts, introduced me to friends who would soon become my own, and had not once ceased for a day after to visit me in my practice there. Father was pleased at first, until he wasn’t, as I had gone from smithing and not speaking to speaking and not smithing, and following his harsh, booming rebuke towards the shaken lad as I could only offer my embarrassed gaze lowered towards the dirt, and bits of green with hints of metal in-between, he would come every other day instead. When we went out, with others or by ourselves as we later had, it had always been Orbas there to lead the way, the conversation, to give directions and warnings unless I knew better in my caution, to where I would try to speak — But I was merely a follower. I have always been, a fact with no shame in admitting and a fate I would think to show no more than indifferent contentment towards. “Why me?” I had asked. Another walk. “We never spoke before.” “Can you keep a secret?” I nodded. Something in my heart fluttered and leapt with those words. “Well… Haven’t you seen yourself?” Something must have been spoken in my silence as confusion or hurt in a way he didn’t need to look over his shoulder to see, prompting him to explain. “You never spoke to the adults or children your age, but only the animals and infants lost by their mothers. You panicked, but always found them home. We saw it. We all did, then, you know.” “...” “When you saw a fly being eaten by a spider, you would take a stick to it and try to ward it off. If you couldn’t reach, you’d find somewhere else to go that you didn’t have to hear it. Your father yelled at you because you had trouble baiting a fish hook. Other children… Normal boys, at least, we saw it and laughed. You, already bigger than the rest of us and yet hardly able to look anyone in the eyes. The girls fancied it, though, called you a gentleman and all, and so one day I thought, ‘I wonder if there’s someone he’s trying to impress with all this?’ and I began to get curious.” “No. I… I’m not trying to impress anyone.” “Well you certainly are when you follow every stupid order I give you.” I stared at the back of his head. A few more steps, and he peered over his shoulder at me, whatever look I wore causing those soft lips to curl up into a laugh. “There has to be someone.” “... There isn’t, honest.” “Say who. We can help you, Leonard, and you’re set to be wed before any of us. Haven’t you always spoken about wanting children? Yours and mine can be friends, and your sons will be older and teach my sons all about everything, just like us!” Something in those words had risen and tightened the back of my throat, and I spoke as I did back then, before I met him — Unable to look him in the eye, look at him at all, and my voice had grown so faint the sound had barely reached my own ears. “It is a secret. That is all.” … And as the years passed, that secret and I grew up and spent our years together, the “Secret” got married at fifteen, and I was sixteen, except he had grown out of being a “Secret”, and once I did, I thought to myself, “I am free” —  But I never did find a wife. When the friends of my childhood pointed them out, “That one’s pretty”, “I spoke to her, she is interested in you”, I only could only ever offer another soulless nod along to the increasingly agitated and growing band of married men, all who later had their sons I loved and adored just as I would have my own, and some had daughters, too. In that same year Orbas had gotten married, I moved on to another secret picking berries in the woods, another fixation skinning their knee on the ground, but after him, I never knew it as I did then — “Such a thing would be impossible,” I always told myself — And I continued life as a blacksmith’s son, a follower, and a coward to the war that brought itself to our town in search of new hands for slaughter. “Security” had been the word spoken to me that day, who chose to stay behind (The child incapable of baiting a fish hook or accepting nature in near all its form), in contrast to him, whose bravery sought the peace of the world, the heads of red-eyed monsters, all the glory and fame reflected back the small village of Atheren, even at risk of his own family, foraged and built. A family, one woman and her four year-old son, unable to fend for themselves. Once again he acted in a way that any madman might, entrusting his sole unmarried friend to care for a wife and son in his absence, and then again, perhaps not mad — Explicitly had he stated his trust with a laugh in that I had come “This far” without any luck, and furthermore went to cite our own, personal trust we had built in each other — He knew they would be fine because he simply knew me. Always the protector, and where I never did find a wife, I made my home among the children of the village. And as the cart started away through the woods with a forward jerk, and Obros, the sweetness grown out of his face, looked over his shoulder at me, his tiny son held in my arms, and smiled with that worried look, I smiled back. I gave him a nod in reassurance, and he slipped through that canopy of pine and birch and away towards war beyond. It’s alright now. Now, I am fine. He’ll be alright. He’ll be alright. It’s okay, because now, I’ve finally found someone. Someone I love, just as I loved you. It was a secret.

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//I keep thinking about this one convo I had on Twitter about Leonard where the other guy said “Everyone else in the cast (Seere is kind-of an exception as Some Kid) is like. Traumatised and wilfully chooses evil, whereas the one person evil by nature is the most humane and caring and it compels him TO do good to make up for it and. Man. /MAN./”  //And like that hits so fucking hard i literally could not have said it better myself. i just,,,, needed y’all to see that bc i am crying in the club rn

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What are you the God of?

Patron of Tough Love

Let it be known: You do not stand by and approve of those who actively seek to hurt the ones they claim to love. But just because it is love, does not mean that it will always be soft. Think of how a pack of wolves operate: strategic, deliberate, protective, entirely capable of ripping out throats and still raising their young with a burning love. Think of the promise of safety in such a group, but also the devastation, should you betray its loyalty and upheave the order in place. You are the god of temperance, of caretakers, and of all those who must carry the weight of responsibility, even when it threatens to crush them dead. God of bending and enforcing rules, god of fair trial and punishment, god of breaking vicious cycles. Protector of older siblings and of soft things needing thicker skin. Deliverer of hard-fought clarity in a fit of rage, weaver of reason into discipline. You teach them how to be strong, to be consistent, in a world that demands them to choose cruelty. The grantor of armistice at the end of a long war, the one who blesses the hardened and makes them rest.

Tagged by: @voicelesshatred

I tag: uhhhhh.... Who hasn't been tagged? @kingdomofbellows , @venusphacelia , @booksofthelibrary and you!

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