#||reply||:caim

[blindedguilt-archived]

♡ _  ♡ |[Fuck it. Caim too. XD]|

"Attractive" and "Caim" were two words that made Leonard's brows furrow with displeasure, as if the deep breath sucked in weren't hint enough of his reluctance to think about such things. With both hands on his knees, he wasted no time in getting to the point. If there was anything he could say with absolute certainty, it was that Caim didn't like to be kept waiting.

"Whether it be intentionally or not, the hope that Caim has provided for the soldiers of the Union must not be left unsaid... If not for his efficiency with the blade, it is certain that our war with the Empire would be lost with the people's morale. Perhaps, in some way, it could also be said...- No." Leonard shook his head. Even if it had been a lie akin to the half-lie he had said before it, there wasn't a chance that he could bring himself to call that skill in slaughter attractive or admirable in any form, "Dealing with the Empire" or not.

"... I suppose there must also be merit given to his dedication in training." He corrected himself in a quiet, to-the-side mutter, and stared blindly off into the distance.

...He couldn't say anything as far as family or friends were concerned. From what he knew, his poor and pitiful sister had been left unwillingly neglected for his sword (Which was truthfully rather angering to the now brotherless hermit). Inuart remarked constantly how distant he had become since "That day", whatever it could have been. Even his pact partner, the red dragon, seemed to be nothing more than a tool for his own personal war... Was it? There were times he honestly couldn't tell.

The Gods couldn't even be confessed to of those horrible monsters he created called "Cooking".

"... I believe that is all. As allies in war, such qualities hold not nearly as much importance as our loyalty to one another." Perhaps Caim or anyone close to him would have found the not personal, but general distance given in that remark to be uncharacteristic of the hermit - They were right. The truth was clear enough: He simply couldn't come up with anything else that was nice to say, and prayed this would be satisfying enough.

Though there were some things...

...It was among the extensive list of things Leonard would sooner die than admit to anytime soon (At least, such was something he would like to think), but there were times Leonard found something in Caim endearing - Attractive in a somewhat sickening way... His poor temperament. When it was nothing more than mere pettiness where no lives or uninjured bodies were put into danger, perhaps an object kicked over or a sword swung idly in the air, he found the behaviour rather reminiscent of an impatient child's.

His hair was also remarkably soft, as well...

[blindedguilt-archived]

"By the gods, WHAT?" Yelled Leonard.

[blindedguilt-archived]

【The sole of his covered boot met the back of Leonard's leg as if to enforce a kneel. It hadn't met the ground again, his leg staying raised only to prop the covered sole against the other's back. The poor hermit was almost if he were a mere stool due to the prince's posture. Blond locks were yanked loose, the string that held them back discarded. Not waiting for a chance of retaliation did unevenly gloved hands nearly yanked at the man's hair. A strip of fresh leather now bound the lengthy strands. He'd noticed the string used was growing worn and he would not have Leonard become a liability should battle descend upon them again. But of course, this small display had to be completed by kicking the poor man over before he took his leave.】

Perhaps the overall event of being kicked over like a dying dog about to be put out of its misery had become a common enough event for Leonard that for a moment, the feeling of exhaustion had peeked through the fear and bracing for further pain for a moment so brief not even Leonard had taken full notice of it, and a second after did he return to the tense, cowering position beneath the other's foot. And though Leonard had grown to learn that it was oftentimes not in best interests to speak anything in such moments, he had only managed the slightest turn in his head before the excessively violent jerk back on the simple leather tie drew his shoulders back in such a flinch that anyone unacquainted with the hermit would have found it uncharacteristic for such a large figure. With the same violence was the hair that had found only momentary rest against his shoulders pulled back, and to his relief he had exercised great enough restraint in letting out only a faint squeak filter through the cry of pain (Or perhaps, irritated fury) that threatened to escape him in that moment.  On instinct Leonard’s gloved hand had reached back as if intending to swat the hand in the process of doing up his hair, but that too was held back - It froze at the last moment, wavered, then clenched with a defeated, reluctant drop to his sides.  The back of his head still faintly stung with the pain of his hair having been pulled back so brutishly, though everything else had remained peaceful - Albeit the tension in the air that was thick enough to choke his lungs and make Leonard feel as if the very act of breathing would be enough to set the other off. Leonard couldn’t tell if he was frozen still as a deer or if there was the faintest tremble to be seen in those shoulders of his.

It was for that he had felt almost a sense of relief at being kicked over as initially expected. Still he remained still, not daring to risk any further violence at the cost of one small, ill-timed movement. The weight on his back lifted. From the ground, Leonard regained the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

And as for what he had done, exactly... Daring to prop himself with one arm, the hermit reached behind to the newly done up hair with faint confusion crossing over his face with the growing realisation that, for one reason or another, he had done him a favour. Perhaps it was tied tighter than he would have liked, the leather not worn quite enough to be a comfortable fit yet, but he knew that it would wear with time. It was confusing. Why? ...But by the time his shaking arms had lifted himself back up and the hermit turned to utter something in response, whether it was to ask his reasons (however terrible he knew such an idea would be) or even to thank him for his kindness, Caim was already gone.

[blindedguilt-archived]

Good intentions could only get you so far.

Those words.... They were condescending. They were bitter. Leonard could tell, even as his blind gaze stared defeatedly at the broken Ocean Seal. It was the through the slumped shoulders and the pained, tired look worn on the hermits face that told Caim all he needed to know from him in that moment — That he had heard him.  The words hadn’t fallen on deaf ears, and there was no need for anyone to look to his blind eyes to know just what thoughts were going through Leonard’s head: In the end, everything was lost. The children were left to a horrific fate of drowning at the hands of the Empire, and where their bodies surfaced as the only rotting, soon-to-be-forgotten grave of such innocent life, they were left prey to the unfathomable evil of their own ally… No one had been saved. And the seal they had come to protect in the first place, was gone.  Had it been any other situation, Leonard’s first instinct would be to keep his protest and pass such remarks as mere insensitivity made in a moment of sheer frustration, but this time the hermit couldn’t help but wonder bitterly to himself. If they had focused all their efforts on guarding the seal, could even one child be saved?  Did his own hesitance play the part in not only losing this battle, but the lives of those children again? The thought made his heart ache, some feeling leaving his throat unpleasantly tight as those cold words mulled inside his head with every other self-curse on his own existence. Truly, Leonard had almost forgotten entirely that they weren’t even his own.  In no way could it even remotely be called a victory.

But... This was only the first seal  — The desert seal would be soon to follow if they didn’t hurry back at that instant. “... We must not give up.”  Though the words we faint, and held not even the slightest hint of confidence to them, Leonard had spoken as only the faintest reassurance that this wasn’t the end. Maybe then, with the desert seal... No, surely then. It would not be lost as this one had been. The children... They were nothing more than a play on his own weakness, Leonard knew in that moment.  And as much as he hated to admit it, part of the hermit felt that Caim had known it even before him; the moment those young screams met their ears. ...Swallowing back the heavy weight of the guilt which had been only further saddled with questions of lost causes and concepts of irredeemability, he mustered what resolve he could and forced his mind along to the most pressing issue at their hands: “Let us hurry to the desert seal. If we stay behind any longer then it shall be lost as well...” And yet, even as they began their trek back, loss turning into newfound rage, Leonard’s mind couldn’t help but linger on the truth behind those words. 

[blindedguilt-archived]

Leonard has appeared! What to do?

"Agh-!?" A cry of both shock and pain as the blade of the man he thought he had killed ran straight through his stomach. Leonard said nothing as he collapsed to the ground, only letting a final, faint dying groan pass through his lips before the last of the life slipped from his body. ... There was no need to speak any words then, and Leonard knew that. Why, one might ask? Well, he had plenty he could say say now. Now that they were both going to hell, Caim and Leonard were each other's problem from the present lasting until eternity. You brought this on yourself, Caim. And a simple sword won’t be able to fix it.

[blindedguilt-archived]

Impalement Reverse

>send “impalement reverse”  for your muse to get impaled protecting mine. It was the guards who had been struck down by the arrows first, and those who had chose to set up camp towards the outside had already been nearly halved in numbers before they had begun to realise it: They were being ambushed.  Leonard was quick to the scene, mainly in his own restlessness between his pact-partners nagging and thoughts that continued to haunt him no matter how he had tried to push them off. He had almost drifted to a state of half sleep when the sound of shouts, footsteps, and the clanging of metal snapped him up at once. He should have known; an area like this was ideal for an ambush. The forest was far too convenient for the soldiers to hide themselves till the right time. Leonard rushed for his weapon and rushed to the commotion with no second thought. ...It was growing more and more clear the risky situations he had been throwing himself into, his own wish for death seeming to take up any and all openings for rational thoughts; and this was no different... No different, save for one thing. The faerie’s voice spoke to him as he felt the weight of a soldier go flying back from the swing of his spear, voicing his concerns exactly. “You fight blind in a camp as crowded as this? That’s typical, stupid Leonard for you~ How will you keep yourself from injuring your own allies in a place like this, hm? Don’t know? Oho! You really are blind!”    Putting aside the faerie’s insults, he took well into consideration how careful he had to be not to hit his allies in an area as cramped as this. Surely the challenge was difficult... Leonard doubted he’d be able to pull it off perfectly, but what other alternative was there? He had gotten much, much better at using his other senses since he had first lost his sight, and even with his fears that it was still not enough, he knew there was no other choice than to simply try his hardest to figure out a pattern in the midst of all this chaos. Quickly, he spun to block an incoming strike from an Empire soldier, and paid close attention to how the footsteps sounded approaching him. Rushed, yet not frantic like the Union soldiers... Right. Now to know where they were coming from... The spear pulled back from the other’s weapon and flew right through the soldier with ease, the blood still dripped fresh as he swept it across to trip the surrounding solders in front of him.  ... Though momentarily, he went unknowing of the soldier that had taken advantage of his back being turned too late.  Leonard had turned aware of the soldier that had attempted to attack him last second too late, his spear swinging forward... Into the soldier’s stomach? The realization finally struck him after a moment that it was not the stomach of a foe he had pierced, but the side of his ally. “Caim, you fool!!” He had went and intervened last minute, but for what...? To save him? He couldn’t possibly. Caim would have killed that soldier anyways...  Was he simply getting ahead of himself in his own twisted thrill of the sudden bloodshed? But... It didn’t fit. Caim may have been brutal, but he was careful; that much was for certain.  Leonard shoved those speculations aside, why he did it was the least of his worries. Where was the wound placed? And how deep was it? But now especially, Caim couldn’t be here. The empire soldiers were still around, and with that wound.... He could deal with the ones in the area, and then perhaps...? Maybe, with some luck, his blow was less than fatal. In any other situation Leonard would have begged for whatever forgiveness could be granted, though this was definitely the worst occasion for it. He had no time for guilt when he could still save a life, that he knew; no matter his own resentment for the prince he had saved his life... Even if it was to satiate his own bloodlust. What monster would he be if he didn’t at least try to save him after that? For honour’s sake, at least... Beyond that, Caim was the spearhead of the Union army. If he were to die, the Union would undoubtedly be good as dead... And for who’s foolishness? He was as much to blame as Caim was, in this matter... No, even more so. Caim must have known what he was doing. His own foolishness... Leonard knocked back yet another red-eyed soldier. They were going to start coming for Caim in his injured state, he was certain of it... But no, no more deaths.  “... Caim. Stay strong for a while longer,” Leonard spoke to him in his thoughts, using his usual steady tone, “I will clear the area of the remaining soldiers. Should they manage to attack the apothecary, I will find a cure in the forest. I know it well.” Leonard’s grip tightened on his spear. He wasn’t going to have anymore blood on his hands.

[blindedguilt-archived]

⚠

⚠ - Send ⚠ to find my muse next to a dead body

~Warning for uh,,,, child murder and shit~

A gloved hand trembled weakly in its dare to reach out and hold the small body that had lay before him, and the hermit's breath was shuddered and tight. Was it with sickness that had suddenly overtaken him? Or was it a sob that had threatened to leave him for what he had done?

If he had known, he wouldn't have-!

Leonard had felt a presence. In his own paralyzed fear, he heard the footsteps approach, the sound of an unsheathing blade, and instinct had taken over. It was only when he heard that shriek, that bone-chilling scream of agonized pain at the spear which had thrust straight through their chest that he had knew the gravity of his mistake. In his blindness... In his blindness, he had-

....He had thought.... At least...

Quiet tears rolled the face of the child, the sound of choked breath in their struggle to hang on grating to his ears. Not again. Not again.

“I-It hurts....” Came the faint whimper, welling up with pain. “Please... Ple...ase.... it hurts.... So much....”

Leonard grasped onto the weakening hand and held it in the only gesture of comfort he could think of between his scattered thoughts.

“I..... I...!” He could let out a choked sob. What could he possibly say? To this? How could he possibly begin to utter any sort of apology for what he had done? ....This couldn’t be happening- Not possibly, not even he could have made an error as great as- To... To this child.

....No. He had. 

But after all that he had promised himself...? 

After finally finding an alternative purpose than blind wandering...?

The Imperial soldiers that had swarmed the area just moments ago were long gone, though it was the warm feeling of blood from the child that he felt on his knees where he had knelt. 

“L... Leonard..... Wh...y....?”

He had just wanted to help.

“Seere, no...! Do not go... DO NOT GO!!” Leonard broke into sobs. It was an accident, he swore, he fought so desperately to find some way to convey that, but now...

Seere’s hand untensed.

“.....SEERE!? SEERE!!!”

//lmao thought this was Leonard’s Regret didn’t you? :-) yeah nvm im crying too

[blindedguilt-archived]

I can't pretend.

The question had immediately thrown Leonard off-guard and piqued his curiosity - No man was without secrets, he was certain Caim was no different. But... The way these secrets were dealt with varied from one person to another, and while the thought of how Caim chose to deal with his secrets, or the secrets themselves for that matter were none of his business, he certainly hadn’t expected him to be keeping up an act, out of all the ways to hide them. At least, that was how he registered it.... He certainly wasn’t too fond of Caim for several reasons, admittedly, though he felt would be foolish to deny him any help. It was he himself who had cited that “No man is beyond forgiveness”, after all, who was he to turn back on that now? Leonard had turned and chose his next words carefully. He didn’t want to make him defensive, but he certainly didn’t want to come off as if he was patronizing him either. “Caim, you know we all have a number of burdens and pains we carry with us at this time of war, especially now. You know that no matter where our opinions may stand that you are always welcome to speak to me about what is on your mind. It is the least I can do for someone who carries the hopes of thousands in support of the Union’s cause as well.”