#(;npcs)

[dungeonsanddodongos]

And here is the NPCs edition, featuring a LOT more memes because the DM knows them better!

[kxllerblond]

THE LAWYERS (and others).

Clark has a whole slew of lawyers he does business with often, several being on a constant retainer. They vary in specialties, they are all very good at their job, and a good chunk of his main cast are shady in some way and are enabled by Clark.

THE MAIN TWO-—

Only one of these has a name and it's Anne (left). She is Clark's primary lawyer and most of the others here have been hand selected or recommended by her. She is also the only lawyer here that isn't human. (Here) is her information page, but she is essentially an incredibly old creature of Purgatory/"Lovecraftian"-esque creature that is dwelling on earth as a lawyer for both supernatural and human clients alike. She enjoys order and neatness in contrast to most of her other siblings and seems to like Clark (like one might an interesting bug) and will often be the one to represent him directly when needed. (right) is more or less her right hand man and is really the one you will see most often. If the matter is not dire, Anne sends her.

THE BIG THREE -—

(left) is probably your most morally sound lawyer here despite working for Clark. He joined on because he's goated af and also because he saw an opportunity to fight bullshit with bullshit. In exchange for helping to cover Clark's ass, Clark will more or less prevent any sort of wealth or influence from getting in the way of justice for any of his personal cases. He's essentially taking justice into his own hands without fully leaning into vigilantism and still TECHNICALLY doing things by the book. His heart is in the right place though.

(middle) is just your scummy type. Your Saul-type. He's smart and clever and can snake his way out of any bind and out of any corner. He is the ragebaiter of the team and has a knack for getting opponents to fuck themselves over before they even need to do any of the fucking themselves. He just likes money and being untouchable by working with Clark. Dude likes to win, plain and simple. Lover of the game. Typical sort that appears dumb as fuck but will blindside you.

(right) is ruthless and sharp. She's the sort that will snowball you and won't give you a chance to get back up. She is who Clark usually calls on when people need a little... tough love outside of the courtroom. She works for Clark for protection as she has prior ties to a crime family that could both land HER in legal trouble or land her swimming with the fishes.

OTHER RESOURCES-—

(left) LILUTHE is Clark's financial advisor/accountant and the one that handles all his funds. She is a demon that previously worked for The Mammon, rumored to have even been created from him. She can run circles around the IRS, that's how insanely good she is. The only problem is she also has an extreme temper and can be difficult to work with. All of Clark's papers and forged identities, etc are all juggled by her and she offers the same sort of service for other immortals trying to make it in the modern age.

(middle) Clark's little techie and hacker freak. If there's information he can't readily get himself or doesn't have the time to, this shut-in gets it for him. He's a total recluse in an off-the grid bunker where he just sits around on one of his bajillion monitors all day. When he's not working for Clark, he's probably off selling government secrets or some shit. Clark helps fund his little projects and keeps him underground. He is typically anti-establishment as a whole and just wants to see it all burn, but has been leaning more heavily into targeting fascist establishments since there seems to be an overabundance of those.

(right) "Joe" as he's sometimes named. His name and general backstory changes depending on when he's played (vague modern vs default sci-fi). He's Clark's main overhead guy. His driver. His assistant. He is an overall normal guy but incredibly loyal and would do just about anything if Clark asked it of him. Works for him out of respect and admiration but also because Clark takes very good care of him and his entire family. Can be kinda goofy in a dry and sassy sort of way but is otherwise strictly professional 99% of the time.

[kxllerblond]

DESTRIAN ANDRYT -— The Cursed Knight / (extended info)

The ultimate and cautionary reminder that one may start life with nothing and somehow end it with nothing as well. Destrian and his younger sister were orphaned young and forced to fend for themselves or die. They both quickly developed a certain adeptness for thievery to the point a local thief guild took notice of them and took the two of them in.

Talents aside, it was a young Destrian that was needed for a plan that would yield a kingdom in chaos and ruin-— the perfect environment for a thieves guild such a theirs. The plan was to place the young boy onto the path to become a knight. To then infiltrate the (eventual) king's circle, gain his trust, and slay him. And he succeeded, in the worst of ways.

He came to befriend the king after so many years in his company. Eventually came to confess to the whole plot he'd been groomed to carry out. The king reacted with violence and what had intended to be an assassination had turned into a death of self defense. Destrian fled and the whole ordeal sent him into a depressive spiral.

The punches would keep coming. His wife to be dead, his own guild launching a plot against the Andryt siblings that would end in the both of them cursed-— Oletha to die young and forever reincarnate and Destrian, to never die and never see himself or his sister at peace.

NOTES.

🟦 While put there as part of a thief guild plot, Destrian is a full on official knight.

🟦 He served on the same round table as Lance and that is how they met.

🟦 He and Lance have a sort of weird off again on again romance thing happening. Don't ask.

🟦 He and his sister were such notorious members of the guild, they both earned titles in regards to their usual regions. Destrian was known as The Serpent of the South, while his sister the North.

🟦 Destrian can die but he will not stay dead. He tends to die quite tragically as well but will always come back. His flesh and bone will always mend even if he is rendered to nothing more than ash.

🟦 He isn't directly connected to Clark and only crosses paths with him through Lance.

🟦 He is more flat and dry than Clark. A complete foil to Lance. This man is Fatigue incarnate and who could blame him with all the bullshit he's gone through and continues to go through?

[kxllerblond]

They're both such divas....................

[kxllerblond]

🧍 for a Clark related NPC obvs

NPC MEME / accepting.

There was something tragically funny about vampires, the undead, or really any creature in that general sphere of existence being all but immune to her basilisk nature (on which parent's side, she still wasn't sure). Funny because though they would not fall ill by existing around her, she no doubt could assume she was not the most pleasant to be around-—drenched in perfumes, a cigarette usually in hand if her mouth was not already occupied by whatever pungently minty gum or lozenge she could find.

Opaque sunglasses are push up to the top of her head and she holds his gaze while canting her head up and slightly away to exhale. Hints of fangs peek as she speak, voice thick with a Russian accent that had not left her despite ample time to acclimate to the States and their wretched dialects.

❝ You look like the sort of muse that would drive an artist mad. ❞ she says it so plainly, dully, that it was hard to tell if it was meant to be taken as a compliment or if she was just making an idle observation.

Meya Thompson, originally мея lopukhova. Visually around 26, actually around 67. Adopted by Clark Thompson when she was 17. Half-basilisk who was an absolute terror in her original orphanage back in Russia before she was scooped away to America by her first adoptive family who kind of just left her to her own devices. Not as immediately lethal as a full on basilisk, but will make most individuals sick with her gaze, touch, and breath. Takes to wearing opaque sunglasses and gloves and eye contacts most of the time. Chews gum or mints or smokes. Avoids her reflection like her life depends on it (it does). Mini Clark but way meaner and gayer and honestly smarter kdjfgbfdg.

[agcntbubbles]

🍬 Vance " Beowulf" Chandler / 37 🍬

A reoccurring character Bubbles encounters on the field. A fellow freelancer known for his brute strength and tactical skills. Clay and Vance know little more about each other aside from codenames and general skill sets, but the two tend to work well together and try and give each other space when they end up on opposing sides.

Beowulf refuses to get lethal with him and Bubbles returns the favor.

🍬 The 'looks big and scary but is a softie' trope but with the twist of 'no he could actually hurt you really bad.'

🍬 Pseudo-pacifist. Prefers to disarm and incapacitate instead of being lethal.

🍬 Was always a bigger boy but sort of realized just about anyone his size can be lethal. Takes a certain skillset and physique to be able to knock people out cold effortlessly and not kill them. Being that sort of guy now is a matter of pride for him as well as just practical for how he conducts himself.

🍬 6'5 brick house. Almost went with 'Bulldozer' as a codename but was really into myth & legend when he started in the gun for hire world.

🍬 Was totally some romantic tension at some point between him and Clay but nothing came of it because, well, Clay is an idiot. They're as close to best friends as you can get in this sort of field but Clay obviously won't admit it and Beo is too chill to push it.

🍬 Loves carrot cake like no one's business.

🍬 General demeanor is relaxed and easy going. Can be that supportive but exasperated parent type. Like 'Yeah I'm going to help but I'm going to remind you the whole time how it's going to get us killed' sort of vibe.

🍬 Does have a permanent residence he keeps under lock that really only Clay knows about. It's where he houses his collection of hinged trinket boxes & little glass animals

gifs (x)

[agcntbubbles]

🍬 Jackson "Jackie" Cook / 49 🍬

Bubbles' primary handler and primary pain in his ass. Was a pretty notoriously talented agent up until he took a mean piece of shrapnel to one of his legs and was taken off the field. Too valuable to banish to civilian life but too hot-headed to sit at any government desk job, he was assigned to the corner of operation few made it to and even fewer wanted to be in.

He chewed through four other agents before ending up handling Bubbles on a particularly nasty mission that just about no one expected a success status out of. The two managed to make it work like a dream and now Jackie and Bubbles are pretty much a permanent duo.

🍬 Incredible at navigating a situation and directing an agent through a metaphorical (and sometimes literal) minefield. His quick thinking and ability to formulate plans on the fly is a real testament to the agent he once was.

🍬 Typical 'hot-head asshole is actually really smart and caring' trope.

🍬 Just about the only one that can get genuine emotion out of Bubbles. The two have this weird 'neither of us are going to admit it' brotherly dynamic going on. One of the only people outside of The Director who knows about Clay from his name to his time before becoming a 'freelancer'.

🍬 Was notoriously known as The Honey badger when he was an agent. Jackie will aggressively defend how that was totally a cool and intimidating alias and most people 'just don't know their animal kindgom e-fucking-nough to get it'.

🍬 Before he was perma-assigned to Bubbles, some of the nicknames given to him by other agents included: The Devil (if he was from Chicago), Asshole, Sergeant Hard Ass, This Motherfucker Is Going To Get Me Killed.

misc notes:

🍬 Didn't lose his leg but he can't do much running/jogging. Walks with a cane most times but can manage without it for a short while. Noticeable limp in his walk. Cranky (er) during shit weather because it does a number on his joints. Smokes but only drinks socially on account of your typical 'dad was a raging alcoholic' backstory.

🍬 Had a huge depressive low when he was initially injured. Self-destructive, etc. The whole shebang. Much, much better now and in that stage of trying to find his purpose again.

🍬 Might actually beat you with said cane if you call him 'Jack'. Most who know him call him Jackie/Jacky. Jackson if he's in trouble. 'JC' or just 'Jay' if you're close. His boss calls him Mr. Cook and he haaaaates it.

🍬 Personality is abrasive, loud, stubborn, and crude. Very easy to just assume he's a 'loud and wrong' type. Typically knows what he's talking about but doesn't really have the tact or grace to sell it. Side eye and eyeroll KING. Will call you a fucking moron with his mouth and his expression and do so loudly.

🍬 Gives big Divorced Dad energy but also Girl Dad vibes.

🍬 Obligatory edits because he is babygorl (x) (x)