#((big wheeze

[sikiova]

I can hear that wheeze just by looking at this and I just can’t AFSJKFL

[wholesomecowboy]

I’m supposed to be here writing the four small fics I have planned so why am I here throwing the timeline out the window and writing Reader still in love with Javier in RDR1 hate fucking him after saving him from John?????

[spoiledsovls]

“Just leave me alone.”

random drama starter ( x )

was it bad that the words stung her or was it bad that this wasn’t the first time he’s told her this? she’d keep asking him what’s wrong but he’d only turn her away either with a slam of a door or if she wasn’t there, the end of their phone call. he’d leave his read receipts on and leave her on read, no matter how many times she’s double texted him. she felt hopeless, scared that he’d throw himself into the dark abyss of drugs just for paradise and an escape. he could drink with her, he could smoke with her, but she didn’t want him to overdose. not like the others wouldn’t kill but at least she would be there with him to keep him safe if it got too far.

it got too far once.

his door was open just a smidge, allowing her to slip in the apartment complex pretty easily but it only put her on high alert when she realized it wasn’t locked. he was doubled over the bathtub, nose bleeding (probably from snorting cocaine) and eyes as red as the sun on a hot day. she wails, her sounds resonating off of the bathroom walls before she carried him on her back and to the nearest hospital. he insisted that she shouldn’t, that he didn’t have the money but she was stubborn enough and still took him. she talked to a few of her connections, making the whole process of making him come back to reality free. he didn’t have to pay her back, all he had to do was recover.

that was another story. but now here she was, standing in front of her door only to be sent away.. again. this time, she dropped it. this time, she didn’t push it on and she didn’t tell him that she was there for him. it was silent, but he knew that she was there-- he just didn’t want her to be there at the moment.

“okay.” was what escaped her lips, unable to hold back the tears she held when he slammed the door on her. maybe he’d open it again and realize that he meant so much to her-- she wouldn’t know where she’d be without him. even if she was a crying mess in front of his door-- she’d wait. she said okay but made no intentions of leaving, dusting off the welcome mat before sitting down, cross legged and on her phone as she wipes the tears away. she shouldn’t be crying, but it just sucked how she couldn’t help him sometimes. maybe it was good she couldn’t-- so that they wouldn’t be too dependent on each other (too late for that.)

she pulls up his contact on her phone, using the sleeve of her shirt to wipe her tears away and then continuing to type something before deleting it.

unsent text i love you, i’m here.