Self reboot.
Saltitarian Maximus,
I propose a prompt for any day it may be desired thereof, regardless of any reason it may be due!
Things AGSZC have done that make people question “how???” or do that leave others in awe, gobsmacked, etc.
(@violetinkclouds)
#possible tags for additional inspiration #unhinged #chaos #potentially wholesome #ffs #put that down immediately #zack no #sephiroth no #cloud no #genesis what — and I cannot stress this enough — the fuck #angeal i trusted you we all trusted you #oh my goddess that’s adorable #well heckity hecc #that should’ve broken his neck #guess physics don’t exist now #¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #minerva pls intervene here #calling out one (1) helmet man for enabling all of this #that is not how that works #that is not how any of this works #did you by chance watch home alone recently? #the leash broke #oh wow. wow. okay. wow. #menace is as menace does i guess #petty is his middle name #i think that deserves an ice cream #is it the 8th of the month already? #ffs why #aww! so cute! so precious! so incredibly oblivious! #oh what fresh hell #i mean… #he made me feel things and those things are questioning my understanding of other things #zackary ‘starship enterprise officer o’brien’ fair what do you think you are doing??? #do your best! give it your all! #wait not like that #so thats a world record right? #alexa how to wrangle the spirit of an enraged dragon shoved into the body of a small blond twink #he? is? so? beautiful? #ok well now you’re just showing off (/lh) #whoever gave sephiroth a 2lb bar of chocolate your mama is a lovely woman who raised an asshole #pls help me get him back into the apartment #we lose more security deposits that way #we blame reno and never speak of this again #okay gold stars all around #let’s wrap it up people #poor oblivious meow meow and the line of broken brains that follow #drink water you need it #oops this got away from me
Thanks for the ask @violetinkclouds ! I tried to map hashtags to each person, and kept a running total next to their name.
Angeal: 10
For the love of the thrifting sprite Macklemore, how and WHY did you single-handedly get that couch up to the SOLDIER rec room without anyone seeing you and HOW did you not notice it has bed bugs and WHY DO YOU STILL WANT TO KEEP IT?!?!
Angeal "Infestation" Hewley.
--
Can and does lift up all of his boyfriends at once in a big bear hug. Hard to do physically, even harder to do in a way that makes everyone feel warm and loved, but he can pull it off. ❤️🐻🦜😺🐶🐥❤️
--
Angeal cannot hack computers. He never learned, and isn't inclined to use technology. The database containing almost every SOLDIER's mother's phone number is only on a computer. Even if he could have hacked in or even persuaded someone to give him the information, it only had living, next of kin mothers in it.
So how he managed to find every single SOLDIER's closest mother figure, persuade them to call their SOLDIER, and get them to shame the grown-ass super-soldiers for not washing their mugs in the break room is a puzzle not even Kunsel can solve.
--
Angeal, looking at the SOLDIER offices completely covered in watermelon guts: We'll blame Reno and never speak of this again.
Zack: But GEAL...!
Angeal: No one would believe that me cracking watermelons open with my thighs caused this much destruction. They wouldn't even believe I would do it. Zackaniel Havarti Fair, we blame this on Reno and Never. Speak. Of. It. Again.
Genesis: 10
How did you physically merge multiple materia?!?! That is CHEMICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Furthermore, WHY on Minerva's green earth did you combine Choco/Mog, Phoenix, and Firaga and HOW did you train this unholy abomination to follow Roche around specifically to light his hair on fire?!?! STOP GIVING ME THAT SMUG LOOK, IT'S A HAZARD TO EVERYONE AROUND HIM AND THE BUILDING!
Genesis "too smart for anyone's good and somehow incredibly stupid" Rhapsodos
--
Genesis. Why are you holding that bottle of hot sauce with the word "reaper" on it? You know you have a delicate stomach. Just because you're a fire mage doesn't...oh Gaia...GENESIS PUT IT DOWN IT'S NOT WORTH IT SPIT IT OUT SPIT IT OUT oh heck oh fuck oh drat...
--
Genesis: *puts on dress*
Everyone in Midgar: I suddenly have so many questions about gender and sexuality. *Holding tissues to stop the nosebleed*
Sephiroth: 8
Sephiroth: No thank you, chocolate is not part of my prescribed diet.
Zack: Come on, you have the metabolism of a jet engine, what's the worst that could happen?
Angeal, holding up a can of tuna: Sweetheart, the chandelier won't hold your weight, please come down from the rafters!
Genesis: How did you get up there?! This is the grand ballroom!
Sephiroth: Wheeee!
Sephiroth "poster child for needing CPS intervention" Crescent
--
Sephiroth is one of a very elite and select few who can wake the mighty bo from his PTO slumber without bodily harm or rapid fleeing. His strategy is to purr as he approaches, then sneak into bed still purring for cuddles, and with the very spiky, very scary mountain boy right in his hit box, kiss him gently. It's an activity that could break his neck, but so far he's survived every attempt.
--
Sephiroth: *unbuckles, sheds coat*
Literally everyone in Midgar: *instant nosebleeds*
Sephiroth: I must be some kind of monster 🥺
Zack: 8
See above.
Zackary ‘starship enterprise officer o’brien’ Fair what do you think you are doing???
--
Helmet man: Bet you can't get out of the child leash, climb the Shinra tower, and moon the president.
Zack: Hold my energy drink.
Angeal: KUNSEL SO HELP ME IS IT THE 8TH OF THE MONTH ALREADY?! I AM GOING TO FIND YOU!!!
--
Zack: ...and I haven't changed my underwear in a month! If you just turn them inside out every day, they stay fresh!
--
Angeal: I don't know how you got half-cooked pancakes stuck to the underside of the bed, the back of the closet, the radiator, the water tank in the closed utility room, and my robe, but you are no longer allowed to cook pancakes. We'll lose our security deposits.
Cloud: 10
Zack: GEAL GEAL GEAL! Come look what Cloud can do!!!
Cloud: *literally scaling the sheer walls, hissing, eyes an unholy glow*
Angeal: ZACK WHY?!
Zack: I dunno, he got like this after I woke him up after his big 48 hour shift to say welcome home :D
Angeal, into his radio: CODE GOLDEN CHOCOBO, I REPEAT, CODE GOLDEN CHOCOBO!
Cloud "who dares disturb my slumber" Strife
--
Cloud: Excuse me, Hojo did what?
Sephiroth: Just the usual, standard surgery while I was awake, mako wash, behavioral...
Cloud: I'm going to make him wear his organs like a red carpet fashion piece.
Sephiroth: Cloud, that's not how this works.
Angeal, after throwing up: That is not how any of this works.
Zack: Damn, did you watch home alone recently?! The ingenuity...
Genesis: Oh wow. Wow. Okay. Wow. I did not realize one could... You are so hot.
Sephiroth: *vigorous nodding*
--
Zack: Ok buddy, this one's a big dragon, so do your best and Sephiroth and I will be right behind you to step in as soon as you need it. Try to see if you can last a whole thirty seconds. Good luck babe! You're so cool. 🥰
Cloud: ...Kay.
Zack: *hurries to hide in the bushes with Sephiroth, starts chatting, looks away from Cloud for 10 seconds, looks back* IS HE RIDING THE DRAGON?!?
