so I actually really disagree with the idea that they fridged emily for the sake of ben’s character development.
ben and emily have a falling out roughly around valentine’s day, and she goes missing in may of that year, about three months later. during these three months, emily specifically and clearly lays out why she is unhappy with him, how he had acted immaturely, and that she genuinely wasn’t sure if she could continue being in a relationship with him (romantic or otherwise) if he acts like a jealous boyfriend (she also says just as much about gr*g).
almost right away (meaning before emily is abducted), ben starts adjusting his behavior. he makes a point to listen to emily, to emphasize that he trusts her, and apologizes in more than one way for not letting her be her own person in the first place. because of this, on may first (the night she is abducted), emily calls the station with intent to remove some of the distance she had put between herself in ben, not because she feels sorry for him (as would perhaps be what happens in a bad rom com) but because she gave him a chance to make amends and he did so. that formation of trust between the two of them is character development, both on ben and emily’s side, and happens specifically before she is abducted.
what I’m trying to say is that the trajectory of ben’s character development is put into motion way before emily is abducted. when she goes missing he continues on a character arc that had already started, I would argue, on the night that he met sammy (which is another thing: ben’s character development is just as catalyzed by emily as it is by sammy). ben isn’t “granted” a second chance because he shot down a ufo to bring emily back, and he isn’t a cookie-cutter nerdy male character proving his love for emily by some grand, third-act romantic gesture. he says more than once when she’s missing that he doesn’t care if she never speaks to him after he gets her back, just that she has been abducted and he knows how to bring her home. and this claim that he makes is backed up by his actions when ben steps back and doesn’t really fight emily when she starts dating gr*g (aside from the whole gaslighting thing, which he does at least try and push back on). he puts her health and well-being above any relationship he hopes to have with her, and this is a direct result of development from before she went missing, not while she was gone.
also just as an addendum, I would like to draw your attention to something else : I have seen people complain about how emily is fridged for the sake of ben’s character devlopment, but never have I seen this point made about tim jensen or jack wright, both of whom have a significant other who has undergone character development in their absences. now I know the circumstances of all three of their disappearances is unique, but I would invite you to consider why this is always talked about with emily and not the two men in virtually the same situation.
