#(or rants)

[impulsive-fy]

I NEED someone to draw Absolute timbart

does Bart have a canon desing? nah

do I care? not even a little bit

I just want them..

[ivyjunebug]

"bad men prey upon you because you are insecure. if you would just be more confident or maybe learn how to avoid these types of men..."

I finally broke down in front of someone I care about regarding everything that has been going on in my life lately. and this response had me feeling so very tired. but also as though I am going to lose my mind.

working on insecurities and confidence is neither easy nor linear. that much I feel I understand after being in therapy for literal years now. I am rewiring my entire brain for me, not for shitty men who do shitty things, or in hopes of saving myself from them. I mean, yes, that is a goal, but it is not the goal. I do often feel like I am a common denominator when it comes to the situations in my life in which I am a "victim", even if I am told I did everything right and it isn't my fault and all of the other kind (but somewhat empty) reassurances. especially when it comes to a man overpowering me in one way or another, especially when it happens back to back in my fucking graduate school program. but I didn't invite these men in–they saw that I had boundaries. they just swept past them before I even realized what was happening. I wish I was better at standing up for myself. and with some people, I can. but I am shy and anxious and I have a lot of self-doubt, which has never been the easiest for me to hide. so yes, when men who are my superiors masquerade as 'mentors' in my field, belittle me, and play on my weaknesses right before they shift into monsters wanting sex or a woman to stroke their egos or simply someone to scream at and call names, I fold and my freeze response kicks in.

and that is all my grad school experience has been. for nearly two years. two different men separately breaking me apart until I finally had to leave. it was appealing to the graduate school advisor who turned out to be a best friend to one of these men and being practically dismissed from an entire program despite a perfect gpa and high performance rates and everything that is supposed to matter. it was retreating into myself until i was more ghost than human for nearly a year.

it is giving up two years of my life and credibility and taking on student debt with no degree to even show for it and no prospects of a career to look ahead to. only a lawsuit to plan.

I don't know, but I don't think high confidence and liking myself would completely change any of this.

[peppermintquartz]

"I don't eat GMO foods"

Ok so you don't eat bananas? Apples? Oranges? Potatoes? Chickens? Eggs? Pork? Beef? Any kind of mass produced grain? Brassicas of any sort? Dairy products?

Almost everything we eat now has undergone selective breeding. Modification from the original species based on genetics. Like I'm not very articulate in this topic but I know that plants and meats that we grow on an industrial scale are selected because of their breed ie genetics. I'm sure there are some modifications that aren't great, and sure make a fuss about those specific ones, but don't lump all GMO into one category, it's so reductive, and again I'm not very articulate I'm just very annoyed

[fisshwhip3]

im in a complaining mood. my leg hurts. badly. i want it gone. either no leg or no pain.

[elminx]

I am so deeply over the argument for why a certain correspondence exists being "I read it in a book".

If your book doesn't explain the reason for a correspondence, get a better book. If a blog post doesn't explain the meaning behind a correspondence, find a different spell.

I'm not kidding. (and this is, as always, just my opinion - why do I always have to caveat this ffs)

Tulips are for love because I read it in a book. <-bad correspondence

Red tulips are for love because they are red. <-still pretty bad but at least you're trying now

Red tulips are for love because they resemble the human heart. <-Now you're getting somewhere. (do they though? Let's just keep going with this thought experiment either way)

I will use this red tulip, fill it with herbs, and sew it up to look like my lover's heart. <-Amazing.

[mayulli]

the antibiotics is killing me.

[gentil-minou]

In addition to all of this A Werecat in London is updating and I have to work on my fic and my brain is still processing the whole twitter thing AND I have case presentations next week AND there are two new episodes this week AND now i have to wait a month for part two and also deal with the pressure of people now thinking i know what I am doing and think good when i feel like an imposter and they're recording s5 already so who knows how long of a break we are gonna get and tbh i just want a NAP