#* ; a

[okauggie]

✆✉☎⁇✿ø✘

✆ ;  morning text !!

     [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     can i eat whatevers in this takeout box for breakfast     [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     2slow 2late     [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     remember that i love you even though my betrayal is great

✉ ; unsent text !!

     [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:    i feel like such an asshole i have no reason to but sometimes i catch myself hating you even though you’re great like im really sorry i don’t know whats wrong with me you deserve a better friend

☎ ;  rushed text !!

    [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:    WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT TAKEOUT BOX I KSEEP PUKING

⁇ ; drunk text !!

    [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     a moth go i wrould have jumped at the cnahce to motorboat yoau but right nosw i'm vaguely uncomfortable pls put your oboobies away

✿ ;  suggestive text !!

       [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     idk. ask him for a 3way if you really want.        [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     i have class bye

ø ; late night text !!

      [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:      NO but spontaneous boners are a THING       [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     like he’s a clown but he is a man. it could have been an accident, ivy, take pity on the man, axe murder the clown       [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     one time i got a boner in front of my entire german literature class and i had to present effie briest about as ignorable as trumps racism

✘ ; hateful text !!

      [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:     okay that’s cool i’m glad you’re comfortable with us and stuff        [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:      but if you ever touch grant like that again we’re going to have a serious problem lol      [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:      no, i’m fucking serious. we’ll be cool tomorrow but right now if you push it we won’t be.       [mssg →   IV(ANNA DRINK)Y ]:      i’m tired bye

[okauggie]

✆✉☎⁇✿ø✘

✆ ;  morning text !!

      [mssg →  CUTE DICKWEED]:     made u coffee bb :)

✉ ; unsent text !!

      [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:     i’m sorry i don’t trust you. i know that’s not what you wanted to hear. but i don’t really trust anyone. kind of hard to do that when you grew up like i did. idk. sorry.

☎ ;  rushed text !!

     [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:    if you eveR push me out door again with no my coffee you will be dead

⁇ ; drunk text !!

     [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:    U r a n asshole.,, u r asshole . rmr when u set me up with a LESBIAN. asshole. im not rlly mad abt that but god the vodak waNTS ME TO b

✿ ;  suggestive text !!

     [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:     bro you’re awesome and i’d totally get you off probably not with my mouth but i would totally get you off u know maybe like a friend thing like guys just being guys 

ø ; late night text !!

     [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:    so what you’re saying is actually that you’ve NEVER seen rorys tits 

✘ ; hateful text !!

     [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:     the next time you play the telletubbies theme full volume when i’m about to come down grant’s throat i swear to god i’m going to put laxatives in your coffee      [mssg →   CUTE DICKWEED ]:     lol 

[okauggie]

✆✉☎⁇✿ø✘

✆ ;  morning text !!

  [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     morning princess i bought coffee for us since you so politely slept in my bed last night xo

✉ ; unsent text !!

   [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     i hate every second i treated you like shit. i know i was right to be angry, but i don’t know what the fuck i was doing.  [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     no one’s ever cared enough about me to notice before. 

☎ ;  rushed text !!

     [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     miaa i own ONE slightly feminine crop top and i know you stole it :(( i needed it its a fashion statement pls return it to me when u are finuishd being dfab

⁇ ; drunk text !!

    [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     you could totally siwt on my face if grant said you could juskt in cabse u didnt know 

✿ ;  suggestive text !!

   [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     i’m just saying it wont take me ten minutes to find it ?

ø ; late night text !!

  [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     ok i can hear you screeching. bring ur laptop in here we’ll finish the conjuring together. u can be the meat in our man sandwich. feel confident that we will save you from the ghosties.

✘ ; hateful text !!

    [mssg →  MIA MIGNONETTE THERMOPOLIS RENALDI]:     i don’t know if i’m sorry or if i just missed you but you scared the shit out of me when i thought i’d lose him and i don’t know how not to think about it sometimes

[okauggie]

x.

quit their job/ drop out of school | punch someone in the face | give them a lot of money|buy them a drink | take them out on a date | give them oral | let them give my muse oral |have sex with them | have rough sex with them | dominate them | submit to them | commit a misdemeanor for them | commit a felony for them | lie under oath for them | go to jail in their place | drastically change their appearance | break up with their significant other | start a business with them | marry them | kill someone for them | die for them

[okauggie]

✆✉☎⁇✿ø✘ u r the real MAP

✆ ;  morning text !!

   [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:     listen slut if you don’t want bay to find out you fucked in his bed you better move fast i’m trying to distract him but he’s getting suspicious   [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:     i am TRYING to look AFTER YOU jesus christ 

✉ ; unsent text !!

   [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:     ur bro af but i have literally never thought about sucking your dick before grant mentioned anything man i’m sorry 

☎ ;  rushed text !!

   [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:     you FUCKER i catn bleave you ATE MY CoffEE what the fUCK IS WRONG WITGH YOU i needed that

⁇ ; drunk text !!

    [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:     ur hair is like a big pukffy pillow cloujd. im really angry thast your hair is a carebear cloud. what the fuck. i hacve obeen trying to make mine cute and flfufy for ten years. u are txhe enmey.,

✿ ;  suggestive text !!

   [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:     i can make grant come in less than two minutes if i try. trust me, you’ll like your birthday present. 

ø ; late night text !!

  [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:    dude, i love you, but no girl is that loud. please tell her to stop faking it and find her a vibe to borrow if your dick isn’t enough. i need sleep

✘ ; hateful text !!

   [mssg →  #3WAY GAY]:   k like i know its ur bday but we’re going to have a problem if you mark up grant like that girl leaving this morning haha xoxo

[okauggie]

FRICK YOU ✆✉☎⁇✿ø✘ bye

✆ ;  morning text !!

   [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     oi rise and shine carebear the hunger games for the last keurig cup has begun   [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     what the hell get the fuck up we have class in like 10 minutes    [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     fine whatever ill take notes for you. butthead

✉ ; unsent text !!

  [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     i still wonder what ur tiddies look like tbh like obviously i’m good with grants tiddies but DAMN I WANNA KNOW it’s killing me rory

☎ ;  rushed text !!

  [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     mayday mayday there’s an econ class in our classroom what do i do   [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     I CANNOT MISS CLASS TODAY ITS A REVIEW ELP ME PLEASE

⁇ ; drunk text !!

 [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     sorry i sluck at advice, you gdeserve a better frienad lol

✿ ;  suggestive text !!

 [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     i’m not saying anything in particular but my face IS a very comfortable throne..

ø ; unsent text !!

[mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     pls come cuddle me grant is at championships and i just watched insidious [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     :( [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     pls its like charity for a strange little man

✘ ; unsent text !!

   [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     ?? WTF YOU’RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE . and ur dick is small. i ever tell you that IT’S TINY. and NO ONES PENIS LEANS THAT MUCH TO THE LEFT twatmunch   [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     OH MY GOD i’m sorry   [mssg →  RORANICUS PONDICUS ]:     SORRY that was meant for my ex hostbrother

[okauggie]

✉, ⁇

✉ ; texts that weren’t sent !!

 [mssg →  MADAME LOLO !! ]:     i didnt rlly mean for it to get this far  [mssg →  MADAME LOLO !! ]:     i never had friends growing up lol idk what to do with them now. it doesnt change bc i’m magically an adult [mssg →  MADAME LOLO !! ]:     i never had anyone growing up i guess.  [mssg →  MADAME LOLO !! ]:     you’re right tho. about it all. i know i’m an ass & i do think it’s a miracle i have anyone. [mssg →  MADAME LOLO !! ]:     lmao who am i kidding you’ll never see this 

⁇ ; a drunk text !!

[mssg →  MADAME LOLO !! ]:     i overestimatred how much beer i cazn drinkx. america is ugetting to me. capitaliesm has ruidned mby tolerance. pyls remind lme in the future that i can't cdrnik 10 beers back tjo back. ty.

[okauggie]

what do you regret the most?

“Not being a cute enough baby.”